View Full Version : as good as it gets!
although i have been posting on here i havent posted about myself in a while as i found i was posting about a good day then having 2 bad ones i felt i was failing myself. but now im gonna turn my life around
when i first got ill 4 years ago it was severe and i was hospitalised i lost every thing my partner my kids my home, i got myself togerther and tolerated life but when the depression came back 2 years ago i recognised the symptoms and got help i was not gonna hit the bottom again.the panic was bad and i had days when i couldnt get out of bed i went on medication which makes my life copable but when i joined the site i was very unstable up one min down the next now i have decided i dont want this life im going to change it.
in the last month i have been out every day, despite the panic somedays i only got to the end of my street but i was out, i have spoken to my sons about the way they feel about being passed around relatives and have found they both feel they had a better life this way. that was a huge relief as i did think they hated me for the way i am. they said they think of my attacks as quirks and eccentricities.
i now see them every day after school and although i walk down the hill i get a taxi back as getting out of breath starts my panics (avoidance yes but im working on that) i now go every week with them both to asda even though it means i spend hours before hand squirting rescue remedy like a mad woman , i refuse to have a panic in front of my kids
im going to accept that if this is as good as it gets then i can live with it, i will stay on my medication and hopefully work towards coming off it, but for now i need to accept myself for what i am before i can expect any one else to. i shall keep you posted as to how im going but hopefully this will be all good. this is the first day of the rest of my life and im gonna live it........
fan x
bluebottle
08-02-05, 12:37
Hooray!
You've been amazing Fan. The way you have dealt with everything deserves a round of applause. [8D]
Good luck with your adventure. ;)
Regards,
Blue
hi FAN,
You have been making so much progress so a big well done!! :)
As you say, the onlt way to overcome this is by facing your fears and you are doing exactly that. Keep up the good work!! We are here if you need us.
Sarah :D
Well done Fan!
Keep up the positive attitude. Once you have stop fearing the fear, you will never look back.
Take care and good luck
Jude x
Hi Fan
What an inspiring post! If you can be so positive we all can.
Enjoy every minute of the rest of your life.
Take care
Elaine x
Hi Fan
Just want to say a big WELL DONE for looking fear in the face.
Your positive thinking and attatude WILL get you where you
want to be in the end and that is feeling better.
TAKE CARE
LOVE JILLXX
Believe it is possible to solve your problem.
Tremendous things happen to the believer.
So believe the answer will come. IT WILL.
Well done Fan - thats all brilliant progress.
From where you were you're doing fabulously.
Get to the point where you're comfortable with these steps and feel you're standing on a plateau - then take the next steps .
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
Well done Fan. You are doing so well. This positive attitude and your determination will allow you to successfully overcome this.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
thanks every body for the posts...... i think that i have resigned myself to the fact that i wont ever be the person i was before all this but maybe being through it might make me a better person anyway and so im just going to learn to live with myself as i am now
fan x
done well i have been out every day this week and although i have had the panic i have distracted myself enough to keep going til it passed, i have arranged to go to the job centre to register which means they will give me my £11 per week back that they took off my benefit even if i dont get a job, (the doc doesnt advise it yet) and i went to see the lady in the charity shop and from next week will be spending 2 afternoons folding clothes as a volunteer. im gonna have to do it in rubber gloves as i have a terrible germ phobia but it will keep ,me busy and hopefully going forwards
fan x
Hi Fan,
You have done so well. Congratulations.
The volunteer work will be a great step too and although you may have a germ phobia; you certainly do not have a 'terrible' germ phobia as you would not even be contemplating doing this at all.
One you realize that you can distract away the panics, you will find they go quicker anyway.
You're doing great.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
bluebottle
11-02-05, 17:54
Well done Fan,
You've done so much and I am sure the charity work will be a great help.
Regards,
Blue
--
Take little steps
Hi Fan
I am so proud of you not only going through it but posting. You will give a lot of people a reason to keep pushing themselves.
You have done brilliantly and i am well impressed and made me realise we all have the ability to overcome it along with bad days.
Thanks for that post we all needed it mate.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
Hi Fan
FAN tastic ! pardon the pun !
Really - it's great to hear you being so positive about things - and I know you have the right attitude to get to a place you will be happy.
You deserve it.
Mo.[8D]
well i went to the pub last night which i havent done in about 2 years but i only lasted about 20 mins then came home. i went with my 1 remaining friend and lots of her friends were there they were very nice but the loud music, and all the smoke really made me feel unwell i felt cramped in and really couldnt breath so came home i did kick myself later for not persevering more but am going again tomorrow so maybe will stay a bit longer
fan x
bluebottle
12-02-05, 13:44
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">well i went to the pub last night which i havent done in about 2 years but i only lasted about 20 mins then came home. i went with my 1 remaining friend and lots of her friends were there they were very nice but the loud music, and all the smoke really made me feel unwell i felt cramped in and really couldnt breath so came home i did kick myself later for not persevering more but am going again tomorrow so maybe will stay a bit longer
fan x
<div align="right">Originally posted by FAN - 12 February 2005 : 12:29:03</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
A smoky, cramped pub with loud music and you lasted 20 minutes? I wouldn't have set foot in the place. :) Seriously though, if this is what you normally enjoy then you have made an excellent start. You also went with people other than your friend, another huge tick for you there, and your going back again.
Put your feet up Fan and marvel at how far you have come. :D
Regards,
Blue
--
Take little steps
Fan thats great - again !!
You're doing exactly the right thing - slowly build up your exposure.
No room for regrets - you did very well.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
Well done Fan - brilliant news and truly inspirational - you're an example to all of us!
Just think of all the progress you've made, it's wonderful. Good on you and keep on doing what you're doing; it's really working!
Good luck and good health
J
Hi Fran
A big WELL DONE you are doing great[^]
As everyone says little by little dose the trick.
It dose not matter that you came home.
What matters is that you went and you are going
back.
TAKE CARE
LOVE JILLXX
Great changes may not happpen right away,
but with effort the difficult may become easy.
nomorepanic
13-02-05, 20:19
Well done FAN.
You are doing brill and have come a long way forward.
Good luck with the new job too.
Nicola
just a quick update.......im now in my second week of going out to work lol its only 2 afternoons in the charity shop but i have turned up each time even though i did back out a few times wondered if i could ring and say i was ill. im still getting the panic and each time im finding it easier to distract myself although i have a constant bubbling like there is a massive one waiting to explode. i also went to the job centre which was hell i had to get a bus which i havent done in years and i got there an hour early as i know if i sat home worrying i wouldnt go not sure if they will give me my benefit money back but i will wait and see on that one i have now changed my way of thinking too i look at my depression not as a black hole im trying to climb out of but as a snow covered mountain still hard to climb but a lot prettier.......hopefully i will be at the top soon and let you know what the view is like from there lol
fan x
Good on you Fan.
Well done on all 3 accounts
work- bus and mountain . Brilliant
The bubbling does subside too as you learn this will not explode.. Keep going
Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
Hi Fan
Just caught up with your posts, you are doing so well and are a great inspiration to many people on this site.
Go for it girl!!!!!
Elaine x
Well done Fan. You're making brilliant progress.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
nomorepanic
23-02-05, 19:43
Great news Fan
It is so lovely to see people on here move on and slowly but surely make changes and get a life back.
You are doing so well so a Big Congratulations to you.:D[Yeah!]
xx
Nicola
Hi Fan
Wonderful progress - well done you :D[^]
Best wishes
Jo xx
"courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear"
Well done Fan, you are doing so well! [^]
Lots of Love Kate xxx
had a really strange day today i cant seem to get my head clear it feels all foggy, i think it might be because last night i wanted to watch tv and as i dont have one i go to a friends to watch his, well he picked me up and i was ok, after watching a bit of tv he began to smoke dope?? or something, now i know that makes depression etc worse cos i have read about it, i tried to stay out of the fog it created but when i came home and took my tablets for bed i felt really odd, it was as if i was twitching but was just the feeling as when i looked i wasnt (does that make sense). i was like that all night and after having about 10 hours sleep i woke feeling terrible, but i had to motivate as it was my day at the doctors, i go every 2 weeks for tablets as i cant get repeat prescriptions dunno why. i sat in the surgery my usual twitchy self tapping which i do constantly when a lady tapped me and said "can you stop the buzzing noise its driving me mad?" i didnt even know i was doing it although i do hum sometimes to distract myself, i saw the doctor and explained this she just laughed, and said that i could be doing worse things i came home and my head is still foggy and i cant clear it at all i also noticed that yes i am making the noises even when im eating, im not usually like this so is it the fact that he was smoking dope and the fumes affected me or am i slipping back?
fan x
nomorepanic
02-03-05, 19:12
Fan
It could be the dope cos it would have been in the air so I expect you breathed some in.
Don't see it as a slip back ok. Sleep on it tonight and see how you feel tomorrow.
Hope you feel better tomorrow.
Nicola
Hi Fan
Hope you feel better today
Take care
Elaine x
Hi Fan
Great post you have coped so well and achieved so much. I guess been around when he was smoking dope will have affected you, like Nic says you will have been inhaling it. It also lingers on the clothes you were wearing quite strongly. We have many visiters coming into the prison who have been with someone smoking dope and the dog will indicate on them, can be just down to the fact that they havent washed their hair.
Hope you are feeling a bit better today.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
yeah im feeling much better today thanks for the replies. think i just got a bit panicky with having the bad day after so many good ones
fan x
Hi
Great to hear you are feeling a lot better today. Just a blip that will give you more strength next time round as you know it wont last forever.
Take care.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
Glad to see you are feeling better today Fan.
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
Hi FAN,
I've just read this post and think you are an inspiration to everyone. You seem to be doing brilliantly after everything youv'e been through and seem to have a really positive attitude.
Well done and good luck or the future
Love Lisaxx
thanks for the replies, im glad its monday the start of another week if i get through this im a week nearer being the me i want to be
fan x
Hi Fan
I am sure you will have a good week, youve been doing really well.
Take care.
See you in the bar later for a bevvy.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
thanks sal..........no wonder the weeks are going quickly im drunk for most of them lol:D
fan x
I know the feeling LOL
But you are doing really well and i hope it gets better for you and when this week ends you can look back and see you are getting back to the old Fan.
Then its your round LOL
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
Have a good week Fan, you are doing so well, brilliant in fact !
Take care
Elaine x
im keeping at it but its hard work lol no more lying in til dinner time i have dropped my night tablets down to 2 instead of 3 since thought maybe they were knocking me out and making me sleep late but actually think im just lazy cos its killing me to get up early even when i had quite an early night
fan x
Hi Fan
It will take a while for the tablets to come out of your system but well done for dropping down to 2 and getting on okay.
Its Wednesday now and you have nearly got through the week.
I dont do morning too well, so i wouldnt worry about having a lie in now and then. Its all these late nights in the boozer.
Take care hon.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
You should be so proud of yourself for this. I kow that this is a huge, huge step forward for you.
Some people may think so what somebody went the pub. ??
It takes such courage for people like you and I who have not been in social situtaion for a very long time to even summon the confidence to open the door let alone go the pub.
Post like yours give people like me confidence and hope for the future.
Thank you.
Eddie
thanks for that eddie im sure you will find yourself doing well before too long anyway
fan x
Yes , take only positives from what you have done. Did you think 3 months ago you could have even contemplated going to a pub with anybody?
Well done again. Fan
Eddie
had times when i didnt think i would get out of the front door but you got to make the effort and put in the hard work and yes it was hard lots of the time i did it crying but someone once posted on here "do it trembling if you must...........but do it" that really stuck with me i think
fan x
Well done Fan. You're doing so well and working hard at it.
Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
god im so angry today i could cry!
because my 2 sons dont live with me i try to see them each night after school which works out quite well , im struggling to build bridges with my youngest though who is now 9 and was 4 when his father left me and took them i didnt have contact for a while (he said he went to court and got something to say he keeps them but i dont believe him as surely even if i was in the unit the court would have to tell me) so now that i do he doesnt call me mum and really doesnt want to bother with me. the eldest i have spoken to at length and hes fine with me. the doctor arranged that i could have them one day at weekends through some mediation team or something and i have to go into town and their father meets me and a lady and hands them over i take them back at tea time but today he did not bring them we waited for bout an hour and she rang him he just said they slept late and couldnt be bothered rushing round she told him that it was unfair of him to do this and said did he want to change the day to tomorrow but he just said hes too busy. i came home and thought i would ring them but when i did they said why did i cancel having them at that i had let them down i told them i had turned up but they said that their dad had told them i wouldnt be having them then when i said i would see them after school they just mumbled and rang off.............i really feel that im back to square one with them and dont know what to do now
rant over.....sorry
fan x
They're confused Fan. Their Dad lied to them and told them you had cancelled it woukd seem so they don't know who to believe.
You would have been notified should he have gone to court for custody.
You can get this clarified and try and work out a better and more formal arrangement now you're better and more up to it instead of just accepting what he's decided.
I can understand why you're angry and upset, they're your kids too.
Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance
just not sure where to go or who to ask to get the information though, and i dont really want to take them out from where they are living now (not with their father but a relative) as they are settled and do have a good life but i want fair share of time with them and not for him to be saying i didnt turn up when its him who refused to bring them
fan x
Hi Fan
That is really cruel what he has done. I know he will be doing it to hurt you but the only people suffering here are the boys and yourself.
I can never understand when people split up why they use the children as a weapon, to vent their anger on the other half.
Really feeling for you hon.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
not sure whty he does it ok i had no say when he left as i was in the unit and he sold the house took the kids and left, then he said the courts say i cant have them which is fine but when the doctor organised the day contact he now comes up with other stuff the courts supposedly said, not sure how i find out what really was done about this but would be happy with the mediation visits where the lady comes too but now he wont keep to those
fan x
Its totally unfair of him not to turn up when this has been organised.
Could you contact a solicitor to see where you stand and maybe they could try to find out what the courts have said by contacting his solicitor.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
i know i have to do something but then im worrying if they will bring up all the past and end up pulling me apart for being the way i am, i know he would throw a lot of mud and mud sticks i might be made out to be some sort of crazy for being in the unit and then i might end up worse off than i am with the kids now or if it will all just topple down on me and that might send me back to where i was
fan x
I know its a hard decision of which way is best to go and the last thing we want is you to go back to where you were. Look its another week and you got through it really well. Try speaking to your doctor again and see if they can do more to help with regards to him making the days you are supposed to see they children.
Lots of Love Sal xxxxx
will wait til i been back to the doctors see if she thinks should try find out if what he says was true and where would i find out from, not gonna worry bout it or will end up just where i was before
fan x
Hi Fan
Probably the best thing you can do is talk to your doctor. I know this is hard for you and admire how you wont let it worry you until you can sort it. I am sure it is playing on your mind but you know better than to let it get to you, proud of you mate.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
Hi Fan
Just read your last few posts, you poor thing, what your husband is doing is so cruel to you and the children. You have done so well at coping with it, don't let him drag you down you are worth more than that, you are a kind, caring person.
Take care
Elaine x
still trying hard to keep on top of it but its weighing me down, spoke to the kids today tried to find out what had been said bout next weekend but they had no idea so just have to wait and see if he turns up with them.............
i think if i drank i might be very drunk by now but i dont so thats one consolation
fan x
Fan
Dont let him get you down, you are handling this really well. Here all the way with you as they are your children and you dont need this hassle he is putting you through.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
thanks for the messages...........im back on track half way through another week and still going forward:D
fan x
You are doing so well mate.
Only last week you were hoping to get through that week and now were are nearly at the end of another.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
yep nearly the weekend...........what an excuse for a drink lol:D
fan x
Do we need an excuse now LOL
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
not had a great weekend but didnt let it get me down....he didnt turn up again with the kids and didnt say he wasnt gonna do either so had a wasted trip.....oh well io spent the time decorating the girl next doors house so was kept busy and not thinking about it
mon.........went to the doctors while there mentioned what was happening she sent me to the free advice centre, who have rung the law centre for me to try find out what really did happen about him getting the kids, they were going to give me an appointment but she explained that to go into the town centre and up the other side then sit waiting in a strange place wasnt exactly ideal right now so they are sending someone to see me tomorrow so will keep posted on that one
now the good news lol :D
been talking to someone on msn for ages but couldnt meet as i had not admitted i had the problems that i do, didnt ever think i got the right moment to say "by the way i suffer from..........." so i just sent him to look at the forum and said if he didnt get back to me that was ok
but he did get back to me and gonna meet him on wed, well hes gonna come round here so should be ok as my house is my "safe" space......im panicking already bout it though lol
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
nomorepanic
21-03-05, 18:14
Fan
Pleased to hear about the date this week. Are you comfortable with him coming there and do you feel safe with a 'stranger' coming round etc?
Good luck and let us know how it goes etc
Nicola
hi nic......i never feel comfortable when any one comes round its as if they invade my space but seems better than saying i will meet him at ......then not going lol which i probably would do i already know him from when i was ok we always went to bike rallies and he was sort of someone someone knew sort of thing so think i should be ok....not gonna think about it and its too late when he turns up to back out lol
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
and by the way its not a "date" .....hes gonna be my friend which will put me at a record breaking total of 2 lol
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Hi Fan
So sorry he didnt turn up again, he really needs to get his head sorted and remember you are their mother. This in time could come to haunt him.
As for talking to that guy and him going to the site to how you have been and then got back to you, that is great. Sounds like it could be a great friend ship and he obviously understands and wants to support you.
Hope it goes really well, thinking of you.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
Hi Fan
Sorry that he didn't turn up with the kids, at least oyu have done something positive by having someone coming round to discuss it.
Good luck with your new friendship, but remember you don't just have 2 friends you have allof of us as well !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take care
Elaine x
lol yeah like sal....dragging me down the pub :D
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Fan you are as bad as me Just remember not to tell him we have a drink problem and it will be fine. Enjoy it mate you deserve it.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
well the man from the law centre came today and after a shaky start it went great, i was really uncomfortable with some of the questions but thought well 20 mins embarrassment now and do nt have to discuss it again so got through it but showed myself up a bit by crying but he just pretended not to notice hes gonna do 3 things straight way and take it from there
1. he gonna ask the courts to go through and find anything that said he could take the kids and i couldnt have contact
2. he gonna ask my gp for all the records from the last 5 years when i first got ill (went in the unit) to now when i had a year of being well then slipped back but now only on my night tablets (bit worried bout this being spoken about as im not proud of the way i was)
3. gonna write to the kids father to ask what reasons he has for keeping the kids away and refusing to turn up even on the mediation visits he thinks as the visits are through mediation then unless they ae really unwell it will be said that no reason is a good reason for not showing up
ooh feel much better now for getting that organised think i need a stiff drink lol
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Fan...
Where do I start...YOU ARE BRILLIANT.
You give out love and fantastic advise to people..when you are going through lifes 'little' problems yourself.
You are an inspiration to all.
Well done for doing the things you are doing..
Doesn't matter if you don't stay somewhere for long.....you achieved something with staying in the place.
Can't wait to see what you post for Wed.
Hope it goes well for you honey..
with good wishes
Zena
thanks zena
already panicking bout wed which is daft cos i do know the man already think its just cos im not keen on having people in my space will let you know lol
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Thats great news Fan and you coped really well with it and he seems like he is going to be a great help to you.
As for tomorrow just chill out and enjoy it. I know what you mean about your own space as i am terrible like that, but sometimes we have to allow others in now and then.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
hi Fan,
I really hope that he can help you!!
Good luck tomorrow!!
Sarah :D
Hi Fan
Hope you arent getting yourself too chewed about tomorrow, just chill out and enjoy it. You are in your comfort zone mate.
Just hope you have a great time and dont forget he has read your posts and still wanted to come and see you, so there you have a head start.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
hi sal........he wants to come and see me cos his bike will look better with me dressed in leather draped over it :D
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Off course!!! Are you practicing the stance now then LOL
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
oh yes i look just like the girl on the pirelli calendar lol:D
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
You look so much better. Go for it girl and enjoy it
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
lol sal :D.......
think i should have added from a distance in a darkened room with your eyes shut!
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
SOOOOOOOOOO????????????
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
well............lol
ok my "date"........i was actually sick 3 times before he turned up and really wanted to ring and cancel but then realised i did not have his number[Duh!]...........he turned up and we actually got on really well although i was uncomfortable that he was in my "safe" place but he had said if you want me to go at any time just say (aaww that was quite nice) think we got on well because he knows i dont want to date him and vice versa but were just going to be friends.................we spoke about the forum and he said thats ok and maybe he could help get me out and about as at the moment i do go out but lots of places are out of bounds (the pub.....i can sit in the car park but not go in)
the time really few and apart from the odd time when i could feel my heart get faster and my breathing change i did not get a panic at all it was quite fun really and im sure were gonna do it again soon:D
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Hi Fan
He sounds like a really nice guy and very understanding. I hope he does help you get out and about. Pleased it went well for you.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
thanks sal:D
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
nomorepanic
24-03-05, 20:15
Hey Fan
Well done and glad it went well!!
Meet you in the pub for a large one
Nicola
Hi Fan
Pleased you had such a good time and really enjoyed meeting him. Well done!
Karen
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.
Well pleased you went through with it and now you can see it was worth it. Lets hope this is a great friendship.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
thanks for the replies ...........now i gotta really motivate myself cos i really want to be able to go to all the bike rallies like i used to
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Hey reading from the start of this post to know, you will do it and i have every faith in you.
"As good as it gets" can only now get better.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
lol thanks sal just keep me off the booze :D
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Not a problem ill drink your share, isnt that what mates do? LOL
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
and i shall cary you home sal.........cos im kind lol:D
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Thats what friends are for!!
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
i had a strange few days i cant seem to be bothered wioth anything i just get up eat, lounge about maybe sleep a bit, eat some more post a bit on here then wander off again...............[Sigh...]
any ideas for kick starting myself?
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
bluebottle
28-03-05, 13:58
Can you meet me halfway between there and here? We'll share a coffee and put the world to rights mate.
Regards,
Blue
--
"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today the way you are"
http://workplacebullying.com
http://spaces.msn.com/members/enigmapark/
not sure i would be very good company right now ..............:( whats happening to me?
i dont want to be like this
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
bluebottle
28-03-05, 15:11
You've done so much that it has just caught up with you. The meeting this biker guy etc... and your body is just telling you it needs a bit of a rest. Don't think this is anything serious because it isn't, it is normal.
(((Fan)))
Regards,
Blue
--
"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today the way you are"
http://workplacebullying.com
http://spaces.msn.com/members/enigmapark/
ok im back on track.............whew panic over:D
got up early today im going out to see if i can get my youngest son for a few hours as i didnt get them again at the weekend so im gonna bypass their father and go to where the kids live maybe i can appeal to her better nature and get them for a while lol
wish me luck :D
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Hope it goes well for you and you get to spend sometime with the kids.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
didnt go too good she threw me out the garden and threatened to call the police [Oops!]
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Im so sorry Fan that is the last thing you need. This must be tearing you apart. Some people just cant see what is in front of them can they. Anything i can do to help you know i will. Dont give up they are your children regardless and nothing and no one can change that.
Thinking of you.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
bluebottle
30-03-05, 06:21
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">didnt go too good she threw me out the garden and threatened to call the police [Oops!]
<div align="right">Originally posted by FAN - 29 March 2005 : 20:15:09</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">
That is rubbish Fan, but you went (well done) and the kids will know you tried (well done again). It doesn't take much to let your children know that you love and want them. You do this constantly and it is giving them a sense of self that will be with them for the rest of their lives. That is the most precious gift you can give a child, the tools to enable them to be happy and confident people. So keep it up Fan, your doing just great.
Regards,
Blue
--
"A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today the way you are"
http://workplacebullying.com
http://spaces.msn.com/members/enigmapark/
Fan im here for you if you want to talk.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
thanks sal i know you are................just cant motivate myself for anything right now not even been online much, will get myself together im sure it wont last for long, just im running out of time with the kids the eldest goes off to uni in september and then my chance to build bridges with him are gone
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
I would have thought it might bring new opportunities to build bridges as his movements and communications won't be controlled by anyone else any longer.
but now hes still at school and sometimes doesnt do full days he doesnt tell them and then i usually meet him or he will call here but once he goes to uni he will be away which means he only gets home for the hols and they will expect him to go there, he did say he had told them once he was coming here and had to listen to days of them giving him hassle so now he doesnt tell them anything...........he doesnt know what he should be doing for the best so although he wants to come here he knows it only makes matters worse with them and think he probably feels he cant just out and tell them as obviously they been good to him and he feels disloyal to them
fan x
"dont wait for the light at the end of the tunnel..........stride down there and light the bl**dy thing yourself!
Hi Fran
Just thought i would post you to see how you are doing and see how things are going with the children.
Hope everything is starting to sort out for you and would love to hear how you are.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.