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View Full Version : This is a new one. Bat under toilet seat?



WorryRaptor
14-02-21, 21:52
Ok, this came out of the blue and now won't leave my mind. I've always been creeped out by rabies, but never worried I would be exposed as I live in the UK and it's extremely rare over here. The only recent case was a man who handled bats frequently.

Last week, I was in a rush to use the bathroom having drank way too much water. So I hastily sat down on the toilet seat and felt a sudden sharp sting on my eh... posterior. It genuinely felt like a sharp bite on my left cheek. I shrugged it off, flushed the toilet and went on with my day. Then I started worrying because the "bite" was still aching and throbbing. I asked my boyfriend to take a look and he said he couldn't see anything but it looked slightly red in one area. I started freaking out a bit.

I then started to worry that a bat had been hiding under the toilet seat. Yes, crazy I know. But the bathroom has an air vent directly over the toilet. That air vent leads to the front of the house where I regularly see bats swooping around for insects. In fact I had seen one a couple of days before. What if it crawled in for shelter and found it's way into the bathroom? I read that they go looking for water when trapped in a house, so what if it crawled under the toilet lid (they can squish themselves into small spaces). I know they can end up in toilets. It even happened in my old house growing up when bats would frequently end up in bathrooms and bedrooms.

I ran down to the bathroom to check under the lid and saw nothing. But what if I had flushed the bat away after it bit me? I didn't look when I did it, so it could have bitten me, then been quickly flushed away by the water as I washed my hands, completely unaware of its presence.

Now I'm terrified I've had those one in a million encounters with a rabies carrying bat that bit me and got flushed away. I genuinely felt that sharp sting. It actually made me jump when it happened, so what on earth caused that if not something with teeth?

I know I can't go to a doctor about this as I saw nothing and have a "what if" scenario going here. I'd be turned away for sure. I'm genuinely terrified something happened, and my lack of attention missed spotting the bat before flushing it away.

I'm sure I'll get replies telling me I'm being really irrational (I really hope I am), or there's no rabies in the UK. Rabies is present in the UK, just rare, bats do get disorientated and end up in houses, the vent leading to the bathroom is right next to where they fly, and I felt something sharp when I sat down. I saw a bat two days before this. It should have been hibernating. Maybe it was just starting to get sick and confused. Lets say it was indeed a bat hiding under the toilet seat, why would it bite if NOT rabid, as they are generally very gentle and human shy?

Anything to calm me own would be greatly appreciated because my boyfriend just looked at me like I was going slowly insane. I'm filled with a feeling of dread that this is some freak encounter and I'll die a horrible death and be some headline in a terrible red top paper.

Fishmanpa
14-02-21, 22:13
DUDE! :wacko: C'mon now!..... :lac:

FMP

venusbluejeans
14-02-21, 22:28
The UK has been rabies-free since the beginning of the 20th century, with the exception of rabies-like viruses in some wild bat species. The last recorded rabies case in the UK was in 2012. In that instance, the individual was bitten by a dog in South Asia..

WorryRaptor
14-02-21, 22:36
.

The Lyssavirus is still present in a common bat species here, which causes the same death as rabies. I'm worried that one of those bats made it's way into my house and bit me. Even the NHS guidelines say if a bat bites you in the UK you need post exposure treatment. Its confusing that the UK claims to be rabies free yet they still find it in bats. I know I'm really reaching here, but I just can't talk myself down from the possibility I was bitten.

According to the Gov.uk site "The most recent case of rabies in a bat in Great Britain was in July 2020".

WorryRaptor
14-02-21, 22:40
DUDE! :wacko: C'mon now!..... :lac:

FMP

Can't quite get it out of my head. Bats are tiny over here, so I might not have seen it hiding.

WorryRaptor
14-02-21, 23:05
According to public health England "Bat bites, especiallyin the UK, are often felt and not seen.They usually do not leave a mark and may not bleed" - wonderful. I'm doomed.

nomorepanic
14-02-21, 23:25
Oh come on please.

A bat hid under your toilet seat to bite you?

No way.

WorryRaptor
14-02-21, 23:29
Oh come on please.

A bat hid under your toilet seat to bite you?

No way.

Well, not intentionally no. Maybe it was trying to shelter there after getting trapped in the bathroom. I might have accidentally disturbed it. I just can't figure out what would cause a sudden stinging/piercing sensation in a very small area on my skin. Felt really like a bite. Theres a direct vent into the bathroom from outside and maybe it crawled through to stay warm due to the really cold snap we are having.

nomorepanic
14-02-21, 23:35
They would not be able to get through a bathroom vent.

Probably a mosquito

WorryRaptor
14-02-21, 23:41
They would not be able to get through a bathroom vent.

Probably a mosquito

The opening in the vents are probably the width of a finger. UK Bats can squeeze through that size as they're pretty tiny. Is there usually mesh behind those vents? I'm in a fairly modern house that was probably built in the last 12 years. I'm hoping there's some kind of mesh in between vent openings to prevent small mammals getting through. There's also an extractor fan, which I'm hoping has some kind of filter that stops animals getting through. That's what I'm trying to focus on to rationalise this whole situation.

nomorepanic
14-02-21, 23:49
It was not a bat - please move on

Fishmanpa
15-02-21, 00:00
Oh come on please.

A bat hid under your toilet seat to bite you?

No way.

My point exactly. That said, this is probably THE most irrational and fantastical bat/rabies post I've seen since I've been on the boards. If the OP cannot comprehend the complete and total ridiculous irrationality of this post, there's no use even trying to reassure him :lac:

Positive thoughts

nomorepanic
15-02-21, 00:07
I guess we need to understand where the fear has come from to conjure up such a scenario

WorryRaptor
15-02-21, 00:28
My point exactly. That said, this is probably THE most irrational and fantastical bat/rabies post I've seen since I've been on the boards. If the OP cannot comprehend the complete and total ridiculous irrationality of this post, there's no use even trying to reassure him :lac:

Positive thoughts

I mean, in my defense, I did acknowledge that I hoped that it was an irrational thought, and I am aware that the entire scenario is something that would require an extremely unlikely series of events. The feeling of being bitten was extremely real and painful however.

I'm hardly sitting here thinking a bat intentionally waited for me under a toilet seat just to attack me. I was afraid that it had looked for shelter there after becoming disorientated. Just natural small animal behavior. As bats here are quite tiny, I was scared I had disturbed one and then flushed it away.

I get that it's probably going to be pretty entertaining/frustrating for anybody reading my post, but I needed to write it out of my system. I'm fine with being called irrational, because I know this is an "out there" situation. I accept that what I'm saying is seriously unlikely. I can certainly comprehend that it is ridiculous.

What would reassure me would be knowing a tiny 1 inch bat can't get through the extractor fan system in my bathroom, because that's a logical fact that I can use to talk sense into myself.

People with irrational fears are unfortunately all too aware of their fantastical nature, which adds to the mental strain of experiencing one, because you feel like you are going to be "that unlucky person". Naturally, you seek small logical details that you can focus on to assuage the fear.

WorryRaptor
15-02-21, 00:33
I guess we need to understand where the fear has come from to conjure up such a scenario

It hit me out of the blue because of real actual pain that felt like a genuine bite. I worked with animals for a long time in my 20's, so I know how bites feel. The thought it could be a bat only hit me after I had left the bathroom. It snowballed after that because I was terrified I had flushed the "possible bat" away so had no way of reassuring myself. With no visual confirmation of anything, I'm only left with "what if" scenarios

Fishmanpa
15-02-21, 00:37
WRaptor.... With respect, it's not even extremely unlikely, it's not in the realm of reality. It's pure fantasy to the utmost degree. Sorry... that's just the reality of this. It beats a drop of saliva from a rabid bat falling from a tree and into the mouth of someone who was walking home at night (which was an actual post/fear here!).

FMP

glassgirlw
15-02-21, 01:23
I remember when I was younger I was always worried a snake was going to come up out of the toilet and bite me.

It never happened.

I really think you’re safe to put this one to rest.

Lolalee1
15-02-21, 09:51
I remember when I was younger I was always worried a snake was going to come up out of the toilet and bite me.

It never happened.

I really think you’re safe to put this one to rest.


I had a huge Python in my bathroom scared the crap out of me I wanted to kill it but my dad said no.

A bat under a dunny seat?the bats here are big suckers.

WorryRaptor
15-02-21, 13:10
I had a huge Python in my bathroom scared the crap out of me I wanted to kill it but my dad said no.

A bat under a dunny seat?the bats here are big suckers.

Sounds scary. Snakes are pretty cool though.

Bats here are tiny. I wish they were huge and obvious so my brain wouldn't play tricks with me.

WorryRaptor
15-02-21, 13:20
WRaptor.... With respect, it's not even extremely unlikely, it's not in the realm of reality. It's pure fantasy to the utmost degree. Sorry... that's just the reality of this. It beats a drop of saliva from a rabid bat falling from a tree and into the mouth of someone who was walking home at night (which was an actual post/fear here!).

FMP

Glad I could be top of a leaderboard for something haha. I wouldn't have guessed that would be in fantasy scenarios, but hey, hopefully it's something I can laugh at when I look back at this. :D

I'm still terrified that a tiny, sick bat wiggled through the extractor fan and found refuge under the toilet seat, bit me, and got flushed away, and there's no way I can prove it did/didn't happen. I have to try and let the thought go. For some reason, this conviction is extremely strong. Enough to give me nightmares all night and make me sick to the stomach. My boyfriend tried to reassure me that there are probably meshes in place inside a fan/vent system that stops small animals crawling through. I'm trying to focus on that while I let the fear pass.

Rumpo
15-02-21, 18:22
Hi there, do you think there's any possibility you may have OCD in addition to/instead of health anxiety? OCD is quite misunderstood by the general population, but a lot of what you've written (based on a fear of illness/contamination, exploring every possibility, being unsure of what you saw, questioning your memories) reminds me quite a lot of the way my OCD behaves. You don't need to have obvious, physical compulsions to have OCD, either. I would definitely encourage you to look into it, as I think OCD and generalised anxiety/health anxiety are often mixed up, and seeking reassurance for thoughts like these when once has OCD can do more harm than good, in the long run.

I hope I haven't hijacked your thread with this, but I'd encourage you to look into OCD a bit and see if any of it seems familiar. I'm also happy to chat about it a bit with you, if you'd like. All the best :)

WorryRaptor
15-02-21, 21:11
Hi there, do you think there's any possibility you may have OCD in addition to/instead of health anxiety? OCD is quite misunderstood by the general population, but a lot of what you've written (based on a fear of illness/contamination, exploring every possibility, being unsure of what you saw, questioning your memories) reminds me quite a lot of the way my OCD behaves. You don't need to have obvious, physical compulsions to have OCD, either. I would definitely encourage you to look into it, as I think OCD and generalised anxiety/health anxiety are often mixed up, and seeking reassurance for thoughts like these when once has OCD can do more harm than good, in the long run.

I hope I haven't hijacked your thread with this, but I'd encourage you to look into OCD a bit and see if any of it seems familiar. I'm also happy to chat about it a bit with you, if you'd like. All the best :)

Hi Rumpo. You haven't hijacked my thread at all, and thank you so much for reaching out :) It's much appreciated. I realise how insane all of this sounds.

I was evaluated for OCD a few years ago but was deemed not to have it, though I might have developed more tendencies recently. This whole worry is certainly doing a number on me. I was even considering taking the extractor fan apart to see if there was any way a bat could have come through. Not sure if that counts as obsessive compulsive, but I have a huge urge to know EVERYTHING about the extractor fan, where it leads to, and if a bat could have made it's way in. It's like I can't break the fear loop until I know it's not a possibility. Then my brain kind of resets and I'm great for a while. My therapist thought that because I didn't seem to have a repetitive ritual, and I'm highly disorganised, that I wasn't OCD. He didn't think I had health anxiety either as my "fixations" spanned across different things and just diagnosed me with generalised anxiety/social anxiety.

I wonder if having intrusive thoughts of horrible scenarios is an OCD feature? I have this for many things, not only health, but I write about the health stuff more often. We had a boiler issue a few months ago, and I was convinced it was going to explode, so kept going to check it every hour to calm myself down. I kept checking the guage to make sure the pressure was correct.

If you have any advice or insight into OCD you would like to share, that would be great :)

I'd be relieved if it turned out to be OCD honestly. Right now I feel dizzy, headachey, shaky and weak and feverish with no appetite, which is listed as early symptoms of rabies. It's really really starting to get to me. My mind keeps going back to the fact I felt a bite, and I can't find a logical reason to explain that sensation in the middle of winter with no insects around.

Pamplemousse
15-02-21, 21:46
But did you actually see a bat at any point?

I had one in my front room a few months ago. I think they're great, so silent when they fly :)

Caught the little critter in a towel (and Batty Bat wasn't tiny at all) and put him outside.

WorryRaptor
15-02-21, 21:52
But did you actually see a bat at any point?

I had one in my front room a few months ago. I think they're great, so silent when they fly :)

Caught the little critter in a towel (and Batty Bat wasn't tiny at all) and put him outside.

Didn't see one in the bathroom no. Scared I flushed it away without noticing. I saw what I thought was a bat a couple of days earlier, outside the house so wondered if maybe they roost in our roof.

I love bats. They're wonderful creatures. I love seeing them zip around outdoors. I grew up in an old farmhouse and we would end up with bats in the house regularly. We always caught them with towels and let them out. As a kid, I loved it!

I know they are likely hibernating now, so hopefully unlikely for one to wander through an extractor fan (I don't even know if that's possible anyway). I really hope the "bite" I felt was some kind of nerve misfiring. The area still hurts a bit but probably from me constantly checking it and worrying.

Rumpo
15-02-21, 22:01
I'd say intrusive thoughts are a hallmark feature of OCD, actually. I believe intrusive thoughts like you're describing are mostly associated with OCD. They're often the root/cause of an obsession (you get an intrusive thought about something and engage with it, it becomes an obsession, and you often start performing compulsions as a means to temporarily gain relief from the anxiety that the obsession causes). Your checking of the boiler sounds like a pretty good example of a compulsion. It might help to ask yourself why you did that, if you can remember. A good way for me personally to identify when I'm doing a compulsion as a means of coping with OCD is how urgent it feels. For example, if you feel like you HAVE to check the boiler right now and you can't get any relief UNTIL you do so, this reminds me a lot of OCD.

Something else that really resonates with me as someone who's been diagnosed with OCD is that you mention that it feels like you MUST know all you can about the extractor fan. I believe much of OCD anxiety stems from some degree of uncertainty and not being able to tolerate this. I would definitely encourage you to look into OCD - contamination and false memory OCD might feel especially relevant to you. You might be amazed by how deeply it can affect you. Some people with false memory OCD 'feel' that they might have hit someone with their car, even though they don't remember an accident, so they go and check the car to look for evidence... then they ruminate about it further and come up with more reasons why they might have hit someone, check again...

Also, you definitely don't need to be highly organised to have OCD. There's Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, and OCD, and the latter is an anxiety disorder, the former is often what people think of when they associate OCD with being obsessive about tiny details, extremely organised/clean, etc. As far as you not having a ritual, I'm not sure what your therapist meant exactly, but some of what you've described sounds very similar to OCD compulsions based on my own experiences and the experiences of many others. Even thinking obsessively about something can be a compulsion in and of itself, which not all mental health professionals appreciate, unfortunately.

I hope that helped a bit! Please feel free to send me a PM or reply here if you have any more questions or would like to discuss. In any case, I would strongly encourage you to check out the International OCD Foundation's website to read a bit more about OCD and what it's like to live with it. I personally had pretty mild OCD-ish features up until last year, when it got quite bad (aged 23). It is definitely possible that it's gotten worse or changed over time and it's only now that you could meet the diagnostic criteria.

WorryRaptor
15-02-21, 23:23
I'd say intrusive thoughts are a hallmark feature of OCD, actually. I believe intrusive thoughts like you're describing are mostly associated with OCD. They're often the root/cause of an obsession (you get an intrusive thought about something and engage with it, it becomes an obsession, and you often start performing compulsions as a means to temporarily gain relief from the anxiety that the obsession causes). Your checking of the boiler sounds like a pretty good example of a compulsion. It might help to ask yourself why you did that, if you can remember. A good way for me personally to identify when I'm doing a compulsion as a means of coping with OCD is how urgent it feels. For example, if you feel like you HAVE to check the boiler right now and you can't get any relief UNTIL you do so, this reminds me a lot of OCD.

Something else that really resonates with me as someone who's been diagnosed with OCD is that you mention that it feels like you MUST know all you can about the extractor fan. I believe much of OCD anxiety stems from some degree of uncertainty and not being able to tolerate this. I would definitely encourage you to look into OCD - contamination and false memory OCD might feel especially relevant to you. You might be amazed by how deeply it can affect you. Some people with false memory OCD 'feel' that they might have hit someone with their car, even though they don't remember an accident, so they go and check the car to look for evidence... then they ruminate about it further and come up with more reasons why they might have hit someone, check again...

Also, you definitely don't need to be highly organised to have OCD. There's Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, and OCD, and the latter is an anxiety disorder, the former is often what people think of when they associate OCD with being obsessive about tiny details, extremely organised/clean, etc. As far as you not having a ritual, I'm not sure what your therapist meant exactly, but some of what you've described sounds very similar to OCD compulsions based on my own experiences and the experiences of many others. Even thinking obsessively about something can be a compulsion in and of itself, which not all mental health professionals appreciate, unfortunately.

I hope that helped a bit! Please feel free to send me a PM or reply here if you have any more questions or would like to discuss. In any case, I would strongly encourage you to check out the International OCD Foundation's website to read a bit more about OCD and what it's like to live with it. I personally had pretty mild OCD-ish features up until last year, when it got quite bad (aged 23). It is definitely possible that it's gotten worse or changed over time and it's only now that you could meet the diagnostic criteria.

Wow, thanks for the reply. That's really helpful, thank you so much :)

I'll definitely look into OCD more. I had no idea that intrusive thoughts were part of the criteria. My therapist who evaluated me said that I didn't seem to have any rituals like checking things a certain number or times, or repeating phrases etc. I'm wondering if he was maybe not as knowledgeable about the nuances of OCD, or maybe I wasn't forthcoming in the information he wanted from me. I'm not sure!

I would definitely describe my thought processes as compulsions. And I totally agree with your point about fearing the unknown. That's a massive problem for me right now. I feel like my future is full of looming threats, and I constantly have to prepare for them. It gets especially bad when something good happens in my life. I start fearing it will be taken away in the most horrid way possible. It's a bit exhausting!

False memory OCD sounds interesting. I do tend to replay a situation over and over in my head and it can sometimes end up more intense than it was. The "bite" I felt was definitely painful and sharp enough for me to jump, but my brain is starting to tell me it was worse, and that I could feel contact from 'something' delivering the bite too. In reality, it was an acute sharp, painful sting/needle sensation that ached afterwards. Could very well be a nerve misfiring or something. (I hope)

Thanks so much for taking the time to talk about it. I will definitely read up on OCD more. Is there a certain treatment for it? I'm really reluctant to go on meds as I have some mild liver damage, so I'd hopefully be able to do therapy to work through it, if that's what I have.

Rumpo
16-02-21, 20:19
The 'gold standard' treatment for OCD is Exposure and Response Therapy. You essentially learn how not to engage with obsessions and it's very common to develop exercises to deliberately trigger your OCD and then not allow yourself to go through with any compulsions. Over time, the brain learns that the obsession isn't dangerous and that it won't get a response from you, and the strength of the OCD is diminished. You can take medication to manage the symptoms, but it's not necessary for everybody (as with anxiety, depression etc, the effectiveness of medication varies considerably from person to person, anyway).

I will say some people can make a lot of progress on their own by simply accepting they have OCD and refusing to engage in compulsions whenever possible. You can try Ali Greymond's videos on YouTube. She has some pretty practical advice for overcoming OCD and managing compulsions. I definitely think it would be worth checking out her channel if you read more about OCD and feel it might be what you're going with, but as you haven't been formally diagnosed and this is potentially quite new to you, it would probably be best to try to work with a therapist who has good knowledge of OCD to get a diagnosis, at least.

WorryRaptor
17-02-21, 17:15
The 'gold standard' treatment for OCD is Exposure and Response Therapy. You essentially learn how not to engage with obsessions and it's very common to develop exercises to deliberately trigger your OCD and then not allow yourself to go through with any compulsions. Over time, the brain learns that the obsession isn't dangerous and that it won't get a response from you, and the strength of the OCD is diminished. You can take medication to manage the symptoms, but it's not necessary for everybody (as with anxiety, depression etc, the effectiveness of medication varies considerably from person to person, anyway).

I will say some people can make a lot of progress on their own by simply accepting they have OCD and refusing to engage in compulsions whenever possible. You can try Ali Greymond's videos on YouTube. She has some pretty practical advice for overcoming OCD and managing compulsions. I definitely think it would be worth checking out her channel if you read more about OCD and feel it might be what you're going with, but as you haven't been formally diagnosed and this is potentially quite new to you, it would probably be best to try to work with a therapist who has good knowledge of OCD to get a diagnosis, at least.

Thanks I'll definitely check her videos out :)

Made a phone appointment with a local therapist to get the ball rolling on figuring out if maybe I have OCD. I definitely identify with some of the thought patterns now that I've read up on them a bit more.

WorryRaptor
18-02-21, 12:43
Having a tough day today as the area where I was "bitten" is sensitive and painful to press. I've been having a lot of symptoms which I'm trying to ignore.

I know it's unhealthy to seek reassurance, but I really wish I had some kind of explanation for the "bite" I felt. It was a short, sharp, pin prick pain, almost like a bee sting. It only happened once, so it's not like a skin reaction or heat etc. I can't seem to find any normal medical reasons for this to occur. The only description that was in any way similar was on an MS forum. I honestly am not scared of having MS. In fact, I was tested for it and wasn't remotely scared of a possible diagnosis. No MS though.

Has anybody else had an experience where they felt they were bitten or stung and there was nothing? I'm trying to get my mind to accept that maybe the toilet seat was really cold and my warm skin making contact set off a nerve or something. I'm trying so hard to resist that thought that there was a bat underneath which bit me. I even found myself measuring the various sizes of different bat breeds in the UK and how they likely could not cling effectively to the curve of the toilet seat/bowl rim. I'm waiting on an appointment with a therapist to work through this, but sometimes I start panicking that the crazy scenario is true.

One thing that didn't help was a friend saying I had to accept the fact that it is a minute possibility. Highly, highly unlikely, but not completely impossible. He said it helps to sit with that thought until you calm down and accept that life is just life, that your brain naturally processes the fear then recovers. It made me spiral honestly. I get the sense behind it though, but my gosh it didn't help me in that moment. It probably works for people who aren't dealing with a fixated phobia.

WorryRaptor
19-02-21, 08:21
This morning I was drinking water and my throat felt like it was closing. Every time I take a sip, the same thing happens. I wasn't even thinking about this whole thing. Now I'm getting worried.

BlueIris
19-02-21, 09:11
You have every right to be worried. Your anxiety disorder is miles out of hand and you're at right angles to reality right now.

WorryRaptor
19-02-21, 10:13
You have every right to be worried. Your anxiety disorder is miles out of hand and you're at right angles to reality right now.

Difficult to reconcile this as anxiety when I have no explanation for the "bite" I felt :( I'm just having a seriously bad morning. Hoping it improves and I calm down later today.

WorryRaptor
21-02-21, 15:07
Had a long talk with therapist to evaluate what was going on. Starting therapy for OCD in the next couple of weeks. Apart from the phobias of contracting deadly diseases from animals or food, it doesn't seem to be health anxiety. They went through everything with me, and managed to pull the right info out of my intensely detailed monologues. Being as detailed as possible is part of my job, so it's a force of habit. They told me it was great as there was lots to work with.

The actual medical symptoms I've experienced in the past have almost always lead to a diagnosis of something actually going on (liver damage, heart, hypermobility, and ovarian issues- all of which I felt genuine symptoms of, and all of which did indeed have something that needed to be addressed medically). Obviously this excludes the ones that start with a thought and then create sensations, but they "feel" extremely different. It's reassuring that I can reliably tell the difference between actual symptoms that need attention and ones that I know are a really far reach but still feel the impulse to worry about.

I still feel it's important never to cap everything off as anxiety as that's just the other end of extreme thinking. If you feel something and it lasts a long time or gets worse, see a doctor. It's usually something simple, and if it's not, it's usually something that can be addressed.

We ran through a lot of my fears and what I fixate on. They seem to come from fear of food contamination or diseased animal attacks. Ironically, I love animals, and I love cooking, so my OCD compulsions stem from passions and interests. Not sure why as of yet, as it seems more common for phobias to come from an established fear or incident. For me it's from things I genuinely love.

The questions they asked actually revealed I do have a lot of physical compulsions along with intrusive thoughts. I check things a lot, I have a "system" in the kitchen where I throw any item out that I feel has been contaminated. I realised that I woke up early every morning to make breakfast for my boyfriend in case he accidentally poisons himself by using something I didn't wash correctly. All of which I can see as completely illogical, yet impossible to ignore.

Feeling a little bit better about "batgate".