I can feel my hypochondria returning ...

[nervous95]

Hi all

I have had hypochondria for around 6/7 years. I go through very bad times and then very good times where it doesn’t bother me.

Last summer I had the worst lupus fear ever caused by a sunburn in the shape of a malar rash over my face. This led me down a rabbit hole and I was paralysed with fear. I couldn’t even get out of bed at the worst. The sun was shining outside and everyone was enjoying basking in it but I convinced myself that if I went in the sun I would develop all sorts of rashes and aches and pains. This coming from a person that lived for the sun and couldn’t get enough of it (I used to tan a lot, but now I know UV rays can lead to lupus).

I checked myself obsessively every day for symptoms. Convinced myself I had kidney disease, everything. Different joints would ache and I would become so hysterical with fear. It really was a very difficult point in my life and I definitely think the pandemic exacerbated the attention I was paying to my health.

Once summer was over I felt relief. Funnily enough my fears regressed and I stopped getting aches in my joints etc. In fact I stopped thinking about it altogether and got on with my life.

Fast forward to now and everyone is looking forward to summer with lockdown potentially lifting. I want to be happy but I can feel the lupus fear coming back again and wondering how I’m going to deal with being exposed to the sun which worsens lupus symptoms. I have went from a sun worshipper to having a literal phobia of the sun.

I know lupus is rare but I really ticked off every symptom. I am wondering if it would be worth going to the doctor and requesting an antibody test but since I live in the UK I think they only do this if they really suspect you have lupus so as not to waste resources, sort of as a last resort. I am terrified to find out if I have it or not but in another way I can’t live my life with this fear hanging over me. Testing in general sends me into a panic for fear they’ll find something untoward but I can feel my hypochondria creeping back and it’ll only be a matter of time before I am debilitated again.

It doesn’t help that my grandmother was diagnosed recently with an autoimmune disorder (primary bile chorosis) and I know that autoimmune conditions run in families.

[Munchlet]

Hi

I’m sure you know this already but Lupus isn’t seasonal. Yes things like the sun can aggravate symptoms but you wouldn’t be fine during the colder weather.

I know it can flare at times but my friends daughter has lupus and she has symptoms all year round and that’s after taking immunosuppressant drugs and having intravenous infusions.

Do you know what is seasonal? Allergies. I get hay fever quite badly and always get rashes in the sun. I get everything from prickly heat, hives, heat rash along with some other not very nice symptoms .

Stress can cause pain but you know this deep down. I think the most likely culprit is some sensitivity to the sun, along with stress and tension that has resulted in joint pain.

Take care and try not to worry, it really doesn’t sound like lupus.

[nervous95]

Thank you very much for your message. You are right it is not a seasonal disease but I got it in my head that the sun is the number one enemy! I just remember how terrible I was mentally during that time and am so worried about going back to that.

I have lots more things going on in my life now to keep my occupied than back then but I haven’t quite been the same since that bout of hypochondria. Traumatising might even be the right word for it? I ended up reading so much medical literature that has now stuck with me!

Stress is a huge one and you are right it can cause so many symptoms. But we never think it’s stress do we! It’s always something else despite the fact I was stressed to the point of panic attacks every single day during that time.

I am going to try to stay strong but I think I might go to the doctor if I feel myself losing control.