coconutmilk
16-03-21, 00:13
Hi everyone.
I've had mild anxiety since I was a kid, but it was usually just 'normal' anxiety, the kind I'd kill to have back again. Nervous diarrhea before school trips and such.
It became a 'thing' when I was about 13, but the panic attacks were usually just at night, and I could still be relatively normal.
When I was 17, I encountered a situation which left me with a bit of post traumatic stress, and full blown panic attacks. Was prescribed Valium and still have a monthly script five years later. I find that I can do normal things to a degree, and was eventually getting a lot better and able to breathe my way out of it, utilize essential oils, mindfulness, etc, the kind of solutions I'd have laughed at before.
I've had a bit of a knock back recently. I get by, but my periods and their severity (endometriosis) trigger my panic a lot. I don't like birth control, so take it long enough to make my periods disappear, then start taking it again once they get bad enough again. I'd been uncomfortable about beginning to take birth control again because I know it makes me more anxious, but it's the only solution I've had for the pain and misery my periods give me, and it used to be a cross I was willing to bare.
But I've had so long doing 'okay' in my books, that I was having doubts about starting the birth control again. I eventually took it, because I need to be able to go about my life without the pooping, bleeding, crying, whatever.
Within days, I'd had two panic attacks. One I managed to get myself out of, one I didn't. It really knocked me. Stopped taking the birth control that day - managed to get out yesterday and do some normal things, but still feeling very fragile. The speed at which they come on absolutely floors me. I used to just have anxiety attacks, and was never used to an actual panic attack. They still mess me up every time I have them and I'm so miserable about it. And angry at myself. It's so hard to find the motivation to just keep on going.
The Valium works, but I only get 12 a month and I refuse to make it a crutch, that's how I've managed to keep the script so long. I have a new boyfriend. And he's great. And I don't want to ruin it with my panic. He understands, but the whole thing just makes me feel pathetic.
Back to square one and still fighting, I guess.
I've had mild anxiety since I was a kid, but it was usually just 'normal' anxiety, the kind I'd kill to have back again. Nervous diarrhea before school trips and such.
It became a 'thing' when I was about 13, but the panic attacks were usually just at night, and I could still be relatively normal.
When I was 17, I encountered a situation which left me with a bit of post traumatic stress, and full blown panic attacks. Was prescribed Valium and still have a monthly script five years later. I find that I can do normal things to a degree, and was eventually getting a lot better and able to breathe my way out of it, utilize essential oils, mindfulness, etc, the kind of solutions I'd have laughed at before.
I've had a bit of a knock back recently. I get by, but my periods and their severity (endometriosis) trigger my panic a lot. I don't like birth control, so take it long enough to make my periods disappear, then start taking it again once they get bad enough again. I'd been uncomfortable about beginning to take birth control again because I know it makes me more anxious, but it's the only solution I've had for the pain and misery my periods give me, and it used to be a cross I was willing to bare.
But I've had so long doing 'okay' in my books, that I was having doubts about starting the birth control again. I eventually took it, because I need to be able to go about my life without the pooping, bleeding, crying, whatever.
Within days, I'd had two panic attacks. One I managed to get myself out of, one I didn't. It really knocked me. Stopped taking the birth control that day - managed to get out yesterday and do some normal things, but still feeling very fragile. The speed at which they come on absolutely floors me. I used to just have anxiety attacks, and was never used to an actual panic attack. They still mess me up every time I have them and I'm so miserable about it. And angry at myself. It's so hard to find the motivation to just keep on going.
The Valium works, but I only get 12 a month and I refuse to make it a crutch, that's how I've managed to keep the script so long. I have a new boyfriend. And he's great. And I don't want to ruin it with my panic. He understands, but the whole thing just makes me feel pathetic.
Back to square one and still fighting, I guess.