View Full Version : 17th year of health anxiety, still suffering
I'm Into my 17th year now and after all these years of tests and examinations I still fear the worse and doubt any diagnoses I get. Today I had a sigmoidoscopy due to worrying about cancer, I had been inserting a finger into myself and feeling just inside the rectum, feeling things that would cause me to panic, so my doctor referred me for this procedure, I have been worrying about getting it done because I have been thinking what if the camera goes in and misses the immediate area I have been feeling and just faces forward, so I brought this up with the nurse, she assured me that when the sigmoidoscope is being pulled out, the camera is turned around so that it films on the way out too, this made me a lot more reassured at the time, and the nurse doing the procedure said afterwards that there was absolutely nothing to worry about, so I was relieved, but when I got home, the same old doubts came creeping back, what if they missed the thing I had been feeling, what if they didn't look around thoroughly, I accept that they didn't find anything elsewhere, so why am I thinking they may have missed something on the way out? Can't stop with these doubts, I should be feeling happy today.
nomorepanic
19-03-21, 19:32
Why don't you try some self-help
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?211324-9-FREE-CBT-ebooks-for-Health-Anxiety
I'm Into my 17th year now and after all these years of tests and examinations I still fear the worse and doubt any diagnoses I get. Today I had a sigmoidoscopy due to worrying about cancer, I had been inserting a finger into myself and feeling just inside the rectum, feeling things that would cause me to panic, so my doctor referred me for this procedure, I have been worrying about getting it done because I have been thinking what if the camera goes in and misses the immediate area I have been feeling and just faces forward, so I brought this up with the nurse, she assured me that when the sigmoidoscope is being pulled out, the camera is turned around so that it films on the way out too, this made me a lot more reassured at the time, and the nurse doing the procedure said afterwards that there was absolutely nothing to worry about, so I was relieved, but when I got home, the same old doubts came creeping back, what if they missed the thing I had been feeling, what if they didn't look around thoroughly, I accept that they didn't find anything elsewhere, so why am I thinking they may have missed something on the way out? Can't stop with these doubts, I should be feeling happy today.
After 17 years of HA these thoughts of doubting medical opinion will be "normal" for you now..Even though for someone who doesn't have HA they wouldn't be because that person would be very reassured and relieved.
You "should" be feeling happy but why should you really if your HA remains untreated and unchallenged?
I think because I am that convinced at the time that I have to worry about it, that I can't think from the perspective of someone who doesn't have HA, or someone who has been successfully cured of it. But I accept what you are saying.
What would living without HA mean to you? What would you like to be able to do if you didn't have these worries?
Just be able to live in the moment, not be constantly "thinking", Work on my classic car, enjoy taking the kids out, going for walks again, taking my camera with me, just enjoying the outdoors, without worrying about anything.
nomorepanic
19-03-21, 22:23
What about the link I sent?
Sorry Nicola, I missed that, I'll take a look.
Pamplemousse
20-03-21, 08:02
"Only" seventeen years? That's not bad - I've had this for well over forty years!
The self-help stuff linked to might work for you, but it doesn't work for everyone. No amount of self-help or external help, changes of diet and lifestyle or medication will work: for a few of us, it is incurable and I am reconciling myself to the fact that in my case, I will always be like this. In some way, that has been the best thing for me - accepting that "this is me".
Sadly, the self-help industry - and it is an industry - seems to refuse to acknowledge this. Not everybody can be "happy".
"Only" seventeen years? That's not bad - I've had this for well over forty years!
The self-help stuff linked to might work for you, but it doesn't work for everyone. No amount of self-help or external help, changes of diet and lifestyle or medication will work: for a few of us, it is incurable and I am reconciling myself to the fact that in my case, I will always be like this. In some way, that has been the best thing for me - accepting that "this is me".
Sadly, the self-help industry - and it is an industry - seems to refuse to acknowledge this. Not everybody can be "happy".
Yes, i feel this could be the case with me too :meh:
Pamplemousse
20-03-21, 14:33
Yes, i feel this could be the case with me too :meh:
Well, don't write yourself off without trying some of the self help stuff - but equally, if it doesn't work, don't consider yourself a failure. There are other options but getting the NHS to fund them is difficult.
Accepting who I am has been helpful - ironically, I've been able to come off anti-depressants as a result.
The self-help industry is worth billions.
Yes I agree. I think for more complex and long standing problems the private sector is your best bet if you are able to afford it.
Self-help is great for mild to moderate issues but as PM says, you're NOT a failure if you need more than the basics.
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