AnxietySufferer
20-03-21, 08:41
Hi.
Wanted to share my story.
I have suffered on and off with health anxiety since i was 17 (now 25).
I have periods where its better and periods where its worse but i feel like its always with me and I constantly think of the worst case scenario.
It has been particularly bad the last year. I got diagnosed with a virus called Molluscum Contagiosum (benign lumps caused by MVP virus, goes away on its own eventually but can take up to 2 years and its very contagious hence the name). I was scared to go to the doctors, therefore I self diagnosed with all sorts. Combined with the pandemic and all the over thinking time. This has ranged from the following:
1. Breast cancer- family history, dry nipples (which I have always had due to dry skin), 2 lumps on my right breast (I have had these for as long as I remember, looks like some kind of scar tissue, my mum told me it was chicken pox scars. Doesn't look like the standard chicken pox scar so i freaked out, got a reddit doctor to look at this (don't advice this by the way but just to highlight the lengths health anxiety makes you go to) I don't remember the name of it but they suggested something and it fit pretty well (benign).
2. Lymphoma- Rewind to 2017 I found 2 pea sized lumps in my neck, gave myself panic attacks over them (including waking up sweaty, however I also had palpitations in these incidences which should make me think panic attack but instead think night sweats). Anyway in 2020, I noticed 2 lumps under my chin, on reflection i think i thought they were bigger than they were (can still feel them now), my mum thinks its due to the bad skin i have at the moment as apparently those nodes are responsible for draining spots. However, the obsession over my nodes then led me to obsess over this 'hard lump' i can feel near my ear / jaw line, i have to press to find it but feels hard and large and only one side. That is my current obsession :) seem to have to most trouble shaking this one and thus poke it all of the time.
3. Lupus- red cheeks / acne, a friend suggested this could be rosecca, which combined with my lymph nodes made me think what if its lupus?
4. Bowel cancer / IBD-loose stool, bright red blood (6 weeks ago but still obsessing over it). Mucus. (most of these things can be explained by a mixture of IBS and a fissure yet I still obsess over it.
5. Cervical cancer- i had mollescum contagium, convinced myself it was genital warts and I had left the HPV virus untreated thus most likely have cervical cancer (also have much shorter periods the last year- don't think thats even a symptom?! but still contributed to my worries).
6. Ring worm that wouldn't go away- lyme disease?! then started panicking i was picking up all of these viruses cus of a weak immune system and linked it back to my lymphoma fear.
7. Migrained with AURA- brain tumour / mini stroke
Seeing everything listed like this I know for a fact I can't have all of these things wrong with me. So sometimes to help rationalise I figured it helps to write it down and read how ridiculous it all sounds. One of my fears is that I am gonna talk myself out of getting certain symptoms checked. But then i remind myself someone without health anxiety actually probably wouldn't focus on these things at all.
I hope this can help someone. X
:unsure:
Wanted to share my story.
I have suffered on and off with health anxiety since i was 17 (now 25).
I have periods where its better and periods where its worse but i feel like its always with me and I constantly think of the worst case scenario.
It has been particularly bad the last year. I got diagnosed with a virus called Molluscum Contagiosum (benign lumps caused by MVP virus, goes away on its own eventually but can take up to 2 years and its very contagious hence the name). I was scared to go to the doctors, therefore I self diagnosed with all sorts. Combined with the pandemic and all the over thinking time. This has ranged from the following:
1. Breast cancer- family history, dry nipples (which I have always had due to dry skin), 2 lumps on my right breast (I have had these for as long as I remember, looks like some kind of scar tissue, my mum told me it was chicken pox scars. Doesn't look like the standard chicken pox scar so i freaked out, got a reddit doctor to look at this (don't advice this by the way but just to highlight the lengths health anxiety makes you go to) I don't remember the name of it but they suggested something and it fit pretty well (benign).
2. Lymphoma- Rewind to 2017 I found 2 pea sized lumps in my neck, gave myself panic attacks over them (including waking up sweaty, however I also had palpitations in these incidences which should make me think panic attack but instead think night sweats). Anyway in 2020, I noticed 2 lumps under my chin, on reflection i think i thought they were bigger than they were (can still feel them now), my mum thinks its due to the bad skin i have at the moment as apparently those nodes are responsible for draining spots. However, the obsession over my nodes then led me to obsess over this 'hard lump' i can feel near my ear / jaw line, i have to press to find it but feels hard and large and only one side. That is my current obsession :) seem to have to most trouble shaking this one and thus poke it all of the time.
3. Lupus- red cheeks / acne, a friend suggested this could be rosecca, which combined with my lymph nodes made me think what if its lupus?
4. Bowel cancer / IBD-loose stool, bright red blood (6 weeks ago but still obsessing over it). Mucus. (most of these things can be explained by a mixture of IBS and a fissure yet I still obsess over it.
5. Cervical cancer- i had mollescum contagium, convinced myself it was genital warts and I had left the HPV virus untreated thus most likely have cervical cancer (also have much shorter periods the last year- don't think thats even a symptom?! but still contributed to my worries).
6. Ring worm that wouldn't go away- lyme disease?! then started panicking i was picking up all of these viruses cus of a weak immune system and linked it back to my lymphoma fear.
7. Migrained with AURA- brain tumour / mini stroke
Seeing everything listed like this I know for a fact I can't have all of these things wrong with me. So sometimes to help rationalise I figured it helps to write it down and read how ridiculous it all sounds. One of my fears is that I am gonna talk myself out of getting certain symptoms checked. But then i remind myself someone without health anxiety actually probably wouldn't focus on these things at all.
I hope this can help someone. X
:unsure: