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Hi All,
I’ve been really struggling with my depression and anxiety. I’m working with a new counselor and we’re revisiting some of my traumas. Ugh!!!
Overall, though, I’m managing my health anxiety a little better. Until today, that is, when I reached my threshold. Now I am really struggling.
I got up from resting on my bed and went into the bathroom. While I was sitting on the toilet, I noticed that I felt a little bigger (my body) than I usually do (relative to my bathroom). It wasn’t a huge difference. It was just something I noticed.
My first thought was that I’m super hyper aware right now. It makes me notice things I otherwise wouldn’t. Nevertheless, I made the bad mistake of googling. I know. I know. I should be slapped. Of course, up came a neurological issue I won’t name.
Have you ever noticed some size distortion before? Again, I’m not talking major. And, I was fully awake.
I just don’t know if I need to make an appointment with my neuroopthamogist about this. Ugh!!!! I’m so weary of doctor visits over anxiety symptoms or hyper awareness issues.
Thank you all for being here for me.
Best,
Debbie
AnxiousJamie
11-04-21, 03:47
I don’t know if this is considered the same as what you are describing but...one time when I was obsessing over having a DVT in my calf, I was convinced one leg was much bigger than the other. I mean seriously it definitely looked bigger to me. I was still in college at the time and was living with my parents for the summer. My mom got a tape measure and measured both calves. I was shocked! I still didn’t want to believe it. It is amazing what anxiety can do to us. I was actually seeing something that wasn’t there. I thought I was crazy!
You don't need to make an appointment with any medical doctor, Debbie and I think you know this really?
You DO need to stop googling but you know this too. You know what happens when you do. You know how your thought patterns can take off and spiral given that "ammunition".
You have the power to sort this one out for yourself x
Thank you for your responses.
Jamie - thank you for reminding me that our perception is “off” when our anxiety flares.
Pulisa - thank you for reminding me about the power google has over us anxious folks. This morning as I was waking up, I dreamed that my right leg was super long and had a Pinocchio foot. I’ve never dreamed anything like that before. Sigh. I opened the door and asked for it.
This morning as I was waking up, I dreamed that my right leg was super long and had a Pinocchio foot. I’ve never dreamed anything like that before. Sigh.
Thank goodness this didn't make you think your nose grew :winks:
Positive thoughts
Just laugh about it, Debbie? "Pinocchio foot" is pushing it even for Dr Google!:D
FamilyPicnic
11-04-21, 19:01
Hi - yes, this used to happen to me a lot when I was little, as well with one of my siblings. it was very strange and discomforting. This is a real disorder (NOT a bad one though). It's called the Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. There is generally no known cause. Do you get migraines? It's more common in those that do but in most cases the cause is not known.
ankietyjoe
11-04-21, 20:42
Hi - yes, this used to happen to me a lot when I was little, as well with one of my siblings. it was very strange and discomforting. This is a real disorder (NOT a bad one though). It's called the Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. There is generally no known cause. Do you get migraines? It's more common in those that do but in most cases the cause is not known.
We need to stop labelling everything that a human being experiences a disorder.
I've had episodes of size distortion since I was a child. It's just part of being normal, and NOT something out of the ordinary.
The most common for me was feeling like I was looking through binoculars the wrong way round, that everything was tiny. It's just something that happens.
By labelling a disorder, the medical profession obtains another reason to prescribe drugs. Ridiculous.
I HAVE experienced this. And it happened in the bathroom for me too. I noticed that I have tiles in the bathroom that give a weird visual effect. As I stand up they give the illusion that I am bigger than everything else around me. Do you have tiles also? I think it’s pretty common and most ppl don’t even notice it as anything but ..
Katniss, I do have tiles in the bathroom. I am thinking, though, that it may be some depersonalization. I had another episode yesterday while I was wearing my heat mask for my dry eyes. My eyes were shut, but I just “felt” smaller. It was strange. Of course, anxiety makes our bodies do and think strange things.
I’m trying not to stress about it. Ha ha ha
One reason not to let HA become your puppet master?:)
We need to stop labelling everything that a human being experiences a disorder.
I agree with this. Sometimes the brain and the eyes just play tricks - you've presumably tried some optical illusions and know that its possible. So, why if events, thinking, emotional status, space and visual cues line up could you not feel something that is a bit of a 'trick'. Have I had this ? Yes, of course, I thought it could happen to all people now and again. I've had it where surfaces feel/look different heights than they usually do, and that I feel larger than usual in a room.
I’m glad some of you enjoyed my Pinocchio dream. I have no idea where my brain came up with that one. I haven’t seen or thought of Pinocchio for years.
I’m feeling a bit better about everything today. I hope it lasts 🤪.
My husband has been dead for about 2 1/2 years now. I was talking to a friend last night about some of the worst of the abuse. The more time that passes, the more I see how badly I was hurt. I would try to leave the house when my husband was verbally assaulting me. When I couldn’t get away fast enough, I would dissociate. I’d have to call one of my friends to help calm me down and get my sense of self back. This happened dozens of times.
I can’t believe I stayed in that relationship, but I did. We were married for almost 39 years. (The abuse slowly escalated throughout our marriage.)
In sum, I’ve been severely traumatized for a long time. As a result, I’m going to see, hear, feel, and think weird things for a long time.
Thank you, again, for being a place I can turn to when my demons get the best of me.
~ Debbie
So sorry to hear that Debbie. Any kind of abuse can certainly take a toll on your mental well-being and you seem to have gone through a lot in those 39 years. Sometimes it’s so hard to get away because you love them so much. I’m not sure what your relationship was like but it does sound like it was complicated. Sending you lots of wishes for healing and health.
Thank you for your kind thoughts Katniss ❤️
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