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fizzymoon86
28-04-21, 18:11
I’ve posted a couple of times before about my ongoing health anxiety issues and it appears that I’m struggling to control it now.

I’ve got ongoing acid reflux which is being controlled for the most part by Omeprazole. I’ve been taking it on and off for the best part of 15 years, maybe longer and now I’ve started to worry that I have stomach cancer. My grandad died from this and I’m worried I’m heading the same way. I have a feeling of something stuck in my throat a lot recently and feel nauseous which I know both can be attributed to anxiety.

I have polycystic ovaries and more recently experienced some bloating so my dr, at my request, ordered the CA125 blood test. The result of that came back yesterday and my levels were at normal, 33 so dr isn’t concerned about ovarian cancer but I’m still worried (the nature of the beast!)

In 2015 I had LLETZ treatment for abnormal cervical cells, a normal smear 6 months later and then 3 years later I was HPV negative and I’m due my next smear in 3 months. Naturally I’ve started worrying that cancer has grown in that time and it’ll be too late. I’ve noticed a small amount of spotting in the days before my period and the one time I dared to have sex since having a baby 9 months ago, there was a tiny amount of pink discharge.

My recent abdominal ultrasound showed that there are fatty deposits around my liver so my dr said this is likely due to the fact that I’ve gained some weight in the last couple of years (I had a baby and lockdown). I now have to lose weight and I’m worried about these fatty deposits leading to more serious liver disease. I already have Gilbert’s syndrome so that’s always on my mind anyway.

If you made it this far, well done!

So in summary, surely it’s not possible for one person to have multiple cancers and diseases so I should really get my health anxiety under control right?! I feel anxious all of the time at the moment and it doesn’t help that I’ve just returned to work after maternity leave so missing my baby all day every day is tough. My dr suggested therapy again but I’m sick of the NHS giving 6 free sessions then discharging me into the world. I find it hard to maintain that control once discharged. Perhaps a private therapy. Meh.


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BlueIris
28-04-21, 18:14
Not sure what to tell you - at the very least, you have an insight into your situation. Not sure how things work where you are, but MIND can be really good for helping with maintenance therapy.

Sending good wishes your way; feel free to drop me a line if you ever want to chat.

pulisa
28-04-21, 19:54
I think you may be waiting a long time for counselling from the NHS or MIND though?

Would private therapy be an option financially? As an investment for the future and to help liberate you from HA so that you can enjoy your little one more fully?

What does your legal brain tell you to do?

fizzymoon86
28-04-21, 21:09
I think you may be waiting a long time for counselling from the NHS or MIND though?

Would private therapy be an option financially? As an investment for the future and to help liberate you from HA so that you can enjoy your little one more fully?

What does your legal brain tell you to do?

Private therapy is definitely something I can afford and I have medical insurance that may cover me for so many sessions per year. Taking the plunge to do it is tough but I do feel I should be doing something because the constant catastrophising (is that a word?!) is exhausting!

Legal brain tells me to sort myself out. And to write a Will but that’s only because we now own property and have a baby so it’s the sensible thing to do [emoji23]


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pulisa
29-04-21, 08:28
I think you will feel better by doing something constructive and making a plan to go for private therapy. You will be forever arguing with yourself otherwise as to whether you should or shouldn't and making a decision may be a relief?

I think you've made your case for getting some professional help?

Gizmo1946
01-05-21, 18:35
Hi Fizzy,i am new to this forum but not to H/A.I have suffered for 30 years and there are not many illnesses i have thought i have had in all that time and yet still fear them all?
At this moment in time i am going through exactly the same thoughts as you,for the umpteenth time[ stomach ]or throat etc.So why do i still persist in putting myself through all this agony,until something new comes along?I honestly do not know the answer to the million dollar question.
I bore my long suffering wife silly wanting reassurance,but reassurance for what? it is all fantasy,a pipe dream thought up by my tired brain to taunt me.When actually nothing is wrong,nothing can put it right because there is nothing to put right.
If you choose to go for professional help find someone who knows all about H/A,or it could be money poorly spent.H/A is very complex as i am sure you are well aware so ask if they are qualified to help you.
I try to ride out each fear until my mind gives up,it is hard believe me,but you can and will do it given time,keep this thought in mind you and i are both worried about the same thing right now we do not have to let it win.All my best wishes to you.