HA relapse because COVID-19

[EKB]

And I was doing so well...

I knew that a global pandemic would be rotten for my HA. I’ve been managing quite well for the past 5 years(ish?) with occasional worried thoughts being managed through meditation and mindfulness. I’m fortunate in that I can mostly work from home, so when the pandemic hit I was able to make myself feel safe. However, I got thrown into a rotten work situation that lasted far too long and has taken a toll on my mental health.

I’m currently on a short leave from work, trying to manage my stress. I’m talking to a social worker once per month. Tuesday I got my first shot of the OAZ and unfortunately have had the full dose of flu like symptoms - fever, chills, aches - and also a huge dose of HA to go along with. Thanks brain.

Thing is, intellectually I KNOW I’m okay. I know this is fine (and although I still feel kind of crummy, I do feel better than I did yesterday). But I’m back in the land of feeling every twinge and sensation my body has to offer and thinking it’s a sign of impending disaster. Heck I freaked myself out last night with the sensation of falling asleep... how silly is that?!

I KNOW the vaccine is as safe if not safer than many other medical interventions (including ones I’ve been on... for years). But it’s that old
HA thing of worrying that you’ll be that one in a million. And I guess there’s no guarantee that I won’t be... but the odds are not in favour of something disastrous happening to me.

Anyway, I am working on my HA. I’m doing my best to make myself feel better. But it’s all a little like chipping at marble with a banana at the moment. So I wanted to come on here and get it out where people understand. My family is supportive of me, but they really don’t get how it feels to have this.

[Scass]

Hi!
I do get what you mean. You’ve gone months without being ill and now you feel rotten. It’s perfectly normal and I’m sure you’ll feel better tomorrow.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[EKB]

Hi!
I do get what you mean. You’ve gone months without being ill and now you feel rotten. It’s perfectly normal and I’m sure you’ll feel better tomorrow.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks. I think part of my problem is I was hoping I’d be completely back to normal today and when I wasn’t I started spiralling. I need to be patient with myself and I’m not good at that. You’re right, I will likely feel better tomorrow. And then more better the day after that.

[EKB]

Hi EKB,

First of all - Well done for taking the vaccine! I can't even bring myself to book the appointment precisely because I just know I'll end up spiraling with health anxiety.

A few people on here told me that although side effects can occur, they tend to "vanish" quite quickly - so maybe just hang in there as best you can and hopefully it will all resolve itself soon.

Thanks. I think I knew that this was going to cause my HA issues to resurface, but also I’m terrified of getting COVID, so getting the vaccine won over my fear (that and my husband is the caregiver for his grandmother, so I got it for them too). Maybe without the other crummy mental health stuff going on in my life right now I wouldn’t feel quite so awful.

Best of luck in making your decision. Don’t let my experience sway you into not getting it though... at the end of the day I think it’s just something I knew I’d have to struggle with for the greater good (mine and everyone else’s). Still sucks, but I’m not sorry I did it despite the relapse. I can say my husband and I got our shots 5 minutes apart and he had very few side effects other than some tiredness and aches the next day. So everyone is a bit different.