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Phoenix76
30-04-21, 17:36
Hi, I'm a man in his early 40s. I suffer from an avoidant personality disorder (plus dependent, paranoid and schizoid traits), and have done since I was a kid (though it's taken me 20 or so years to work everything out). Anyway, I've never been able to properly work, and still live at home with my mother. She has left the house, and about £100,000 in savings, to me and my sister. Obviously I'm very lucky (and very grateful) for this inheritance, and when she dies I hope to buy a small, one bedroom flat somewhere quiet.

However, there is no guarantee I will inherit anything. If my mother has a stroke, or develops dementia, she may need round the clock care. That would mean a nursing home, which costs about £40,000 a year. Once her savings had gone, the house would have to be sold, leaving me homeless. Does anyone know where I would stand? Would I have the right to stay here until the savings ran out? I'm not officially registered as ill or dependent, so as far as the government is concerned I'm just a lazy parasite living off my mother.

I hate posting this. I know it makes me sound greedy and callous. But I'm really not – I'm just scared.

ankietyjoe
30-04-21, 19:04
I'm not sure I see any value in even considering this right now. All you know right now is that there is some financial security in your future, and cross the other hypothetical bridge if and when you come to it.

It doesn't make you sound greedy or callous at all, but I don't think you need to mentally go to this place yet.

Fishmanpa
30-04-21, 19:10
I'm not sure I see any value in even considering this right now. All you know right now is that there is some financial security in your future, and cross the other hypothetical bridge if and when you come to it.

It doesn't make you sound greedy or callous at all, but I don't think you need to mentally go to this place yet.

Not only that but the Positive Thoughts Quote (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?173453-Positive-Thoughts) I posted today applies.

"Being forced to work, and forced to do your best, will breed in you temperance and self-control, diligence and strength of will, cheerfulness and content, and a hundred virtues which the idle never know."

- Charles Kingsley (1819 - 1875)
English Novelist and Clergyman


And with the recent surge in work from home opportunities, if push came to shove, those are opportunities to explore. But again.... it's a long ways off and not something to concern yourself with at the moment.

Positive thoughts

pulisa
30-04-21, 19:36
Are you afraid of losing your Mum, Phoenix? I suspect all your sense of security is tied up in her wellbeing?