Please help me!! I'm begging you for some rational words of comfort

[always scared]

So I've been having a real hard time lately. In march I had a family friend die of ALS. She was the most loving person and my heart aches her family. Now today I found out another person I know has passed away from pancreatic cancer this morning. Such a sad loss.

My two biggest fears are so close to me it terrifies me to my core. Everything happens in 3s I am not doing so well. I already have been having symptoms of both illnesses and Im once again freaking out. :scared15: Both of these women were in their 60s I'm now in my 50s and am so close to having any of these awful illnesses.Youth is no longer on my side. The ALS fears have calmed down a bit for now but the pancreatic cancer is in full course. I'm having a lot of left sided mid back pain. Also some stomach and throat issues and yellow poop. I keep telling my self I've had this before and they went away only to come back. This flare up started a week ago so finding out the news this morning has sent me for a spiral down the cancer hole again

PLEASE!! I need some help dealing with this. My family and friends really don't how bad my health anxiety problems is and I have no one to talk to and i'm so scared :scared15:

[Lana]

You do not have any of the two. I am even older than you, and have gone through all the cancer scares that exist. There were so many times I could not function at all, and it has been (Health anxiety) with me for years. I also developed severe OCD. When it is worst for me, I simply gather courage and go to the doctor. He orders my blood works and other things, and then , when this all comes back good, I can think rationally and calm myself . Sometimes these periods of calm are significantly long.

Also, if someone I know has some bad illness, I always start thinking it is me too. That is how our brains work. They are simply sick. Calm down, please, and think whether maybe a long overdue health check up would do you some good.

All the best to you

[always scared]

Thank you Lana :hugs:

[always scared]

I hate living like this. Every day is a struggle. I hate myself for being like this and not enjoying my life. This is not living anymore. I just have such a hard time with the physical symptoms. When I first heard about the pancreatic cancer I thought to myself I don't have any symptoms at the moment but I bet I will soon. and Sure as **** a week later all my mid-back symptoms returned and am freaking out once again

[nomorepanic]

Why don't you try and treat the HA so you don't react so badly each time?

[Fishmanpa]

Why don't you try and treat the HA so you don't react so badly each time?

I asked the same question and this was the response.....


Sadly no amount of medicine or therapy is going to help me.


I have given up all hope.

:weep:

FMP

[nomorepanic]

Ok well that's a life choice then so you just have to learn to live with it but I would rather opt for getting some help if I were you.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

[pav1984]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I think you need to work on your anxiety and learn to enjoy life rather than live in fear all the time. I found my health anxiety was a symptom of something missing in my life.

There are some excellent sticky threads and links to cbt which are free.

[NoraB]

Both of these women were in their 60s I'm now in my 50s and am so close to having any of these awful illnesses.

Hi AS, sorry to see you're still struggling with HA (I've been away for a bit) big hugs, eh?


Youth is no longer on my side.

Me neither, but there's another way of looking at this and it's that I am fortunate enough to have reached 50. My mate didn't so I count my blessings, you know?

What's happened to those ladies is incredibly sad, but their story is not your story.

Cancer doesn't come and go; that's just not the nature of this particular beast as I'm sure you will have been told numerous times. I know it's easy to say, but be assured that this is simply your mind playing tricks on you - again.

Sometimes you've just got to show fear the door lovely because that's what this is. It's not real. You don't have cancer. You do have a mental health disorder though, and you need to put all your mental effort into that, not into imaginary diseases that might never happen to you.

Can I ask, how did your friend cope with her diagnosis? Reason I ask is that my friend took her cancer diagnosis by the proverbial balls and gave it a run for it's money. She spent many happy days with her family and made some very special memories. Often, it turns out that we're far better at dealing with what's real, than what's not. X

[always scared]

Hi AS, sorry to see you're still struggling with HA (I've been away for a bit) big hugs, eh?

Me neither, but there's another way of looking at this and it's that I am fortunate enough to have reached 50. My mate didn't so I count my blessings, you know?

What's happened to those ladies is incredibly sad, but their story is not your story.

Cancer doesn't come and go; that's just not the nature of this particular beast as I'm sure you will have been told numerous times. I know it's easy to say, but be assured that this is simply your mind playing tricks on you - again.

Sometimes you've just got to show fear the door lovely because that's what this is. It's not real. You don't have cancer. You do have a mental health disorder though, and you need to put all your mental effort into that, not into imaginary diseases that might never happen to you.

Can I ask, how did your friend cope with her diagnosis? Reason I ask is that my friend took her cancer diagnosis by the proverbial balls and gave it a run for it's money. She spent many happy days with her family and made some very special memories. Often, it turns out that we're far better at dealing with what's real, than what's not. X


Sadly she didn't have a lot of time to deal with it. She just found out, went in for surgery and passed away few days later

[NoraB]

Sadly she didn't have a lot of time to deal with it. She just found out, went in for surgery and passed away few days later

For her, it was quick then, and some would say that's a 'blessing' in itself?

Thing is; you're looking at this from your own perspective and that's totally different from the person you're grieving for. I struggled with my friend's cancer, probably because my HA was still very much active. Unsurprisingly, I developed pains in my side (as she had) but those pains were not the pain of cancer but of colon spasms due to an extremely high level of stress. The HA mind will make a connection that's not actually there, and those symptoms that convince us that we have cancer are anxiety symptoms.

I know how convincing anxiety symptoms can be, and that there's a level of health anxiety where it doesn't matter what anybody says because we're 100% convinced of our 'diagnosis'. If we can't accept what the doctors say, what chance do strangers on the internet have? So I know I can't convince you. Nor can anybody else. But I hope it gives you some comfort to know that I've been where you are (and worse) and I got better? You don't feel this scared all the time, so think of those 'lulls' in between the storms where everything feels calmer? Try and understand that it's your own thoughts which are responsible for your symptoms, and just as your brain responds to fear, it will respond to positivity. You can control this; you just need to learn how - and once you do, you can feel the difference in your body - just as a driver can feel how an engine responds when changing gears. How's that for an analogy? And at 6.30 am! :ohmy:

You're not your friend. You're you. You have your own story. And all this shit you're going through takes strength to endure, so try and focus on just how strong you actually are. X

[always scared]

Thank you NoraB Your words were comforting. :hugs:

I am so sorry to hear about your friend

[NoraB]

Thank you NoraB Your words were comforting.

You're welcome lovely. X