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View Full Version : HELP! Got a wedding next wk?



samtheman
10-11-07, 17:51
I've got to go to a wedding next week and am really really dreading it. Its on my wifes side of the family and I am seen as the odd ball at these types of things, The last one I went to last year I was left sitting in the corner by myself for 90% of the night, my wife went around all her cousins etc she hasn't seen and there was me sitting in the corner by myself watching match of the day:blush: . I felt so so low, almost like I could cry, infact I would go as far as suicidal, I've never felt that way before and never want to go back to that place. I can remember that night looking around me and thinking "I wonder if I did die would anyone here actually miss me?, Sure my wife would but she'll get over it and meet someone else" Imagine thinking that? But thats how low I felt,

Its not that I don't want to talk to these people I do but my mind just goes totally blank, even on the rare occasion when they do talk to me I get tongue tied and only give one word answers.

Now I admit at that last wedding I was at my lowest point with anxiety etc and since then I have cured my generalised anxiety but social anxiety still remains, add to that I have given up alcohol since and this will be very tempting.

I am just really at a loss as to what to do because as my other post in here explains I get really depressed from social anxiety and its only social anxiety that makes me depressed nothing else, what can I or should I do at this wedding, I can't cope with being johnny no mates again?

domino
10-11-07, 18:19
Oooooh i,m sorry to hear that you are feeling this way, all i can offer you is a massive:bighug:i would still go to the wedding, have a chat with your wife about how you are feeling and that it would be a great help to you if she involved you when miggling with the other guests. try and enjoy it but i do know what it,s like to be left in the corner, wishing that the floor would open up and shallow me up .xx

muxxcy
17-11-07, 14:36
I think a lot of people should know is that social anxiety is your enemy, and whatever it has you thinking in the moment, your best bet is to think the opposite. lol

How you view the event of the future wedding to be now, is not actually you who thinks that, its the anxiety comprising you.

You know who you are, and you know how you are, and you know at the moment of the event you'll be a different person. Don't give in, challenge it.

Try to tell yourself. I'm not going to worry. I'm going to have fun, it is not a funeral, it a wedding. I know my anxiety is against me, and sure it will come. But who cares? I expect it.

Don't look at everything like "oh i don't want to talk to people, but if i don't i'll be on my own, so i have to"

instead try to have an actual interest in talking with people, stay relaxed and enjoy it.:)

samtheman
18-11-07, 00:31
Well I went, it turned into a total nightmare, I lasted the grand total of 2 hours before I had to leave, but not before the wife started crying and caused a sceen, I just wish I could of died there and then, I mean what will people not be thinking of me, but they just don't understand, I looked around me and there was all these people having a great time on a happy occasion and there was me hating every min, I mean what is wrong with me? And why can't my wife understand what I am going through

sagey
18-11-07, 00:35
Sam, Ireally feel for you. Try and get some sleep and look at it again tomorrow. Well done for actually going to it. Congratulate yourself for that.