Em08
24-05-21, 19:16
Last year the pandemic really affected my mental health. It triggered both my health anxiety and my OCD.
I had more CBT and I was fortunate that I have a supportive employer who facilitated enabling me to work from home.
I barley saw many people, lost several
friends because I became so distant, and I felt too frightened to leave my house, convinced that I would die from Covid.
In March I had a text from my GP telling me I was eligible for my Covid vaccine (asthmatic) and took up the offer.
ItÂ’s been 10 weeks now and the difference it has made to my life has been incredible.
I voluntarily returned to the office, I see my work colleagues, IÂ’ve had dinner (outside) with the few friends I do have and for the first time in over a year I started to feel good about life again.
That was until 2 weeks ago when the under 40 guidance came into place for the AZ vaccine.
ItÂ’s triggered something awful in me and IÂ’m slipping back to a dark place.
I am not able to rationally process the risk of this vaccine and I donÂ’t want my second dose because of the risk.
in my mind I am convinced i will most certainly be the 1 in (said odds) that will get a blood clot and die.
IÂ’ve been off of work for a week now because I canÂ’t sleep, I canÂ’t eat, I canÂ’t focus.
I donÂ’t want to die. I canÂ’t see a way out of this misery.
I feel like my choices are vaccine = death or Covid = death.
I donÂ’t think I can go through with my second dose but nor so I think I can live with the worry of not being protected from Covid.
I honestly thought after my first dose how incredibly lucky I am. Now I feel like it was all too good to be true because I just canÂ’t go through with a second dose.
I had more CBT and I was fortunate that I have a supportive employer who facilitated enabling me to work from home.
I barley saw many people, lost several
friends because I became so distant, and I felt too frightened to leave my house, convinced that I would die from Covid.
In March I had a text from my GP telling me I was eligible for my Covid vaccine (asthmatic) and took up the offer.
ItÂ’s been 10 weeks now and the difference it has made to my life has been incredible.
I voluntarily returned to the office, I see my work colleagues, IÂ’ve had dinner (outside) with the few friends I do have and for the first time in over a year I started to feel good about life again.
That was until 2 weeks ago when the under 40 guidance came into place for the AZ vaccine.
ItÂ’s triggered something awful in me and IÂ’m slipping back to a dark place.
I am not able to rationally process the risk of this vaccine and I donÂ’t want my second dose because of the risk.
in my mind I am convinced i will most certainly be the 1 in (said odds) that will get a blood clot and die.
IÂ’ve been off of work for a week now because I canÂ’t sleep, I canÂ’t eat, I canÂ’t focus.
I donÂ’t want to die. I canÂ’t see a way out of this misery.
I feel like my choices are vaccine = death or Covid = death.
I donÂ’t think I can go through with my second dose but nor so I think I can live with the worry of not being protected from Covid.
I honestly thought after my first dose how incredibly lucky I am. Now I feel like it was all too good to be true because I just canÂ’t go through with a second dose.