Really having a rough time

[MandaIsAnxious]

Thanks to any and all that take the time to read this and to those who might respond....I just need to get this off my chest somewhere.

This has been the most challenging year of my life, BY FAR!

Covid happened which was obviously challenging in itself and I transitioned to working full time in the office to full time at home with a 3 year old and 6 year at home. Then my 6 year old started kindergarten and my 3 year old went back to daycare.

In September I learned that my husband of 8 years had a child with another woman sometime in the last two years. This was devastating obviously and I have been in "put it off mode" ever since because I just do not want to deal with it and I have this awful guilt that I am going to take away the chance for my children to grow up in a two parent household even though It was not me who ruined the marriage vows.

Then in November my mother ended up in ICU and on a ventilator. Thankfully she is in great health now with no lasting effects.

Then I found out I have to move because my landlord wants to rent to their child....I have lived here for six years and my daughter JUST entered the school system here and I cannot find another place to rent in the area.

For the last month or so I have been in this intense health anxiety spiral about myself and my children...like...intense.

Currently my son has swollen glands on the back of his head and had a fever for two days and I am obviously fearing the worst. I cannot focus on anything and spend my day searching the internet which I know is so unhealthy. I brought him to urgent care last night and they said their gut is that he has something viral.

Can anyone relate to health anxiety returning full force during high stress times? I am at such a loss for what to do because my mind is being pulled in so many directions.

I am on Effexor and I see a therapist weekly but neither are doing much for me at the moment....

I'm just so sad and scared.

[Slug]

Thanks to any and all that take the time to read this and to those who might respond....I just need to get this off my chest somewhere.

This has been the most challenging year of my life, BY FAR!

Covid happened which was obviously challenging in itself and I transitioned to working full time in the office to full time at home with a 3 year old and 6 year at home. Then my 6 year old started kindergarten and my 3 year old went back to daycare.

In September I learned that my husband of 8 years had a child with another woman sometime in the last two years. This was devastating obviously and I have been in "put it off mode" ever since because I just do not want to deal with it and I have this awful guilt that I am going to take away the chance for my children to grow up in a two parent household even though It was not me who ruined the marriage vows.

Then in November my mother ended up in ICU and on a ventilator. Thankfully she is in great health now with no lasting effects.

Then I found out I have to move because my landlord wants to rent to their child....I have lived here for six years and my daughter JUST entered the school system here and I cannot find another place to rent in the area.

For the last month or so I have been in this intense health anxiety spiral about myself and my children...like...intense.

Currently my son has swollen glands on the back of his head and had a fever for two days and I am obviously fearing the worst. I cannot focus on anything and spend my day searching the internet which I know is so unhealthy. I brought him to urgent care last night and they said their gut is that he has something viral.

Can anyone relate to health anxiety returning full force during high stress times? I am at such a loss for what to do because my mind is being pulled in so many directions.

I am on Effexor and I see a therapist weekly but neither are doing much for me at the moment....

I'm just so sad and scared.

That really sounds like an awful year! I'd be more surprised if you didn't have bad anxiety after all that. What a despicable thing for your husband to do.

Can you get your landlord to give you more time to find a place?

The pandemic has also sparked off my HA after a few years if it being relatively under control.

[pav1984]

Sounds like you have had quite a rough time of it. It makes sense that health anxiety is going to be worse when you are stressed because that is your coping mechanism. Some people drink, others smoke, eat, ocd habits etc. What you need to do is find a way of coping with stress.

Google is never a good thing for anxiety sufferers. Tell me a time where Google has put someone mind at ease with health related searches?

You need to look on things in more of a positive way. E.g.

You are working from home but you are still in work and get to see more of your kids.

Your mother was in icu but now she is ok and well.

The doctors reckon your son has a virus, not what you may have feared

Yes you will have to move but who knows what does this may open.

You could argue you have been very fortunate if you look at things in a different light. - still in job, mum well, son nothing serious by the sounds of it.

I'm not belittling your suffering, you have had a tough time, I just wanted to try and get you to look at things more positively and it may help your anxiety.

I hope you get better soon