View Full Version : elderly father has hip fracture worried stick about him and in a state myself
Sorry NMPers but I'm freaking out here and worried sick about my elderly father who has just been taken to hospital with suspected hip fracture.
He's 89 years and had a fall in the garden - paramedics took him into A&E and he's been admitted - we're just awaiting the surgeon consult. Due to age and his heart condition (he has a stent), the medics are talking about possible surgery risks and the dreaded DNR notice... my mum is in bits as am I and I don't know which way to turn. Stupidly I looked up prognosis on hip fractures in elderly and uncovered all the usual doom-scenarios about risks and mortality and wish I hadn't now.
Has anyone been through this with an elderly parent or with themselves. Any words of calm and advice would be welcome.
Haven't been through it myself but work with a lot of elderly people and a hip fracture is quite common.
All the people that I've know who have had this have made good recoveries and lead full lifes.
Thanks for replying Catkins. That's good to know and I know that this sort of things is very common.
Got freaked out more with the prospect of the surgery and post-surgery prognosis - there's so much negative data out there about survival rates and post-surgery complications. My dad is a tough old bird, but with his age and the heart condition we are worried about him getting through the surgery following what the hospital staff have said following the first assessment. Awaiting the surgeon's consult but fearing the worst.
Try not to google.
They will do everything they can to help him.
How’s he getting on? This happened to my mother in law abe also my neighbour a few years ago, both recovered from the op pretty quickly. It’s quite standard these days, and also standard for them to mention his age and the possibilities.
Hope you’re doing ok.
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Dad came through the surgery and the surgeon advised that all had gone OK. Had a frantic dash up to see him (I live 100 miles away), and support my mum ... hospital allowed me 2 minutes on the ward due to all pandemic restrictions! Now they just have to start getting him onto his feet and arrange post-op rehabilitation. He would do much better if they would allow my mum to be around daily but hospital has forbidden visits today - not sure about rest of the week.
As for me, just coming down from the two days of sheer anxiety and feeling a bit wretched, but your support and calming words were very much appreciated.
Glad the surgery went well and he's on the mend.
That’s great news, thank you for sharing. It’s so hard when you don’t live close by.
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Well dad came through the op OK, but my mum has just received a call from the doctor on the ward which has quite upset her. Before dad went down to surgery the surgeon outlined all the worst case scenarios of the operation and the 'in the event of' etc. He got through the op and they got him up and about yesterday to start rehabilitation which seemed to go OK. Now two days on they are telling my um that they are not calling to say there is anything in particular to be alarmed at, but if it were the case that he suddenly goes downhill, that THEY will take the decision not to resuscitate him and we can do nothing about it.
They won't even let us in to see him - he would do much better if my mum was there with him - and I am quite concerned with all this. Is this normal acceptable practice for hospital doctors to ring up and alarm people or are we over-reacting?
I think with Covid a lot of normal practice has gone out of the window.
I would say that they would probably have to discuss with every patient now whether they want a do not resuscitate put on their file. I would imagine that they will have talked to your dad about it, but would have to inform you that it's been discussed.
Has your dad got a mobile or a tablet? Our local hospitals still have a no visitors policy due to Covid and I wouldn't say that is going to be lifted any time soon. I'm sure I heard somewhere that some hospital wards were going to have tablets available for patients to facetime families - might be worth checking. If they haven't you could drop a phone/tablet at reception to go up to him. It will be nice for him to be able to chat with you both.
It's absolutely awful having someone in hospital at the moment, I really do feel for you.
Catkins - after my mum had called me I thought I would get to the bottom of it and managed to get through to the doctor in charge of my dad.
He was most distressed to learn of the effect that his call had had on my mum and full explained to me that that wasn't his intention. Just standard procedure to have a discussion about possible outcome scenarios. He explained that because my dad is a 'vulnerable' patient (on account of his cardiac situation), that they had to consider all possible outcomes. However, for the present my dad is progressing and all the post-op tests are positive so far.
Best of all, an hour after my call, he got back to me to say that due to no prevalence of the virus in the ward, he would relieve some of the restrictions so that my mum can go in and visit daily. That will benefit my dad (and the hospital staff) as her presence will definitely reassure and encourage his recovery. He then called my mum to give her the good news. Unfortunately, my dad is not mobile phone or tech savvy (he struggles with the TV remote and is the original BT phone dad) and we did try the tablet Facetime option but it confused him even more. Still dealing with a little post-op delirium. My mum's physical presence will do him more good.
Establishing a report with the doctor has definitely improved the situation and he was very sweet and considerate.
That's excellent news! Well done you for getting it sorted out.
Always a good idea to find out and speak to the doc in charge of your dad's care...if you can, that is! They are an elusive lot usually! You then get factual and up to date information as opposed to differing accounts from random individuals who just happen to pick up the ward phone.
Very glad that your mum now has daily access to him. That will make everyone feel better and more reassured as to his obvious progress.
I hope you will now be able to sleep a little better.
Just lucky for once to find a responsive doctor at the hospital. He has promised to keep me in the loop.
Right now I am trying to come down from 4 days of stress ... trapped wind, upset guts, buzzing feeling in my innards and fighting off a bit of nausea. Think a paracetamol or a glass of warm brandy is in order.
Thanks to all of you for your support and wise words.
Mom spent a couple of hours with him this evening and said he was looking a lot better, has ordered tomorrow's menu and is rather perturbed that he might have to be in there for a couple of weeks!
We are taking it one step at a time. My guts have finally calmed down.
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