13 yr old daughter in pain for few months

[BrokenGirl]

Hi all, just looking for a bit of advice. My daughter (13) told me a few days ago that she's been having pain for the past 2 months or so. The best way I can describe it is it's in her bum cheeks, left and right. It's kind of like the bone in there. It gets worse when she sits down and she said it was extremely uncomfortable in school as they have hard seats there.
It got very uncomfortable yesterday, even when she was standing. She gets relief from it if she lies down on heat.
I'm not sure what this could be and I'm trying to stay calm. Could it be a growing issue, she is very thin even though she eats a lot. Or possibly dehydration as she doesn't drink much and I'm trying to get her to change that now?
I know I can't get a diagnosis here but wondering if anyone has any thoughts, or if it happened to anyone here what caused it.
I think I'll have to ring the doctor about it at this stage but I can't do it until the end of the week as we're going away today for a few days.

[Catkins]

I'm not an expert on these things, but I would say make sure she drinks plenty. There's an awful lot going on in bodies at that age so definitely worth checking with the GP, could be growing pains, could be hormonal changes, it could be lack of fatty padding in her rear end?

[Mrsriley79]

Is she stressed or emotionally inclined? It sounds like a tension issue. As in dog tuck it’s tail under it’s bottom when it’s upset! Us humans do it when we clench or tighten out bum cheeks. I get it quite a lot as I’m stressed and tense a lot xx

[MrLurcher]

Does the pain run down to her legs at all? It could be a bit of sciatica, does she do sports? Or does she sit down on a hard surface a lot during the day?

I once had a pain in my bottom/upper hamstring area, which turned out to be some form of nerve/sciatic pain. One of my legs felt achey and odd for a few weeks too.

[BrokenGirl]

Thanks for your replies.

Update: I took her to the doctor this morning and she's sending her for a scan. Won't get it done until Monday. In the meantime she's giving her anti inflammatorys. The doctor did say, even though she doesn't know what's causing it, she doesn't think it's anything serious. I was glad to hear that. But coming home in the car my daughter said the pain is now only in her right side and she's not sure if it's always just been the right side. She said maybe she should have said that to the doctor and I said yes, she should. I asked her several times over the past week or so if it was on both sides and she always said yes. Now she's thinking maybe it's not as she has the pain on one side now.
This is worrying me. I wish she had said that to the doctor. It might change what the doctor said to us. One sided pain always worries me because with HA your mind goes to awful places.

I wasn't too bad leaving the doctors but now I'm worried sick again. What kind of things do x-rays even pick up?

[BrokenGirl]

I'm jumping to worst case scenarios and I can't stop it. I'm looking through my cbt, trying to apply it but it's not working. The fear feels stronger this time, more realistic, which is making it all worse.
I feel like I'm failing cause I can't rationalise this one. Don't know what to do.

[BrokenGirl]

I'm really having a bad day. The worrying about my daughter isn't easing. Loads of little things have gone wrong for me here today - I know they're small things but when you're having a bad day they add up.
Then my son (20) just said he needs to change his bedsheets because he was sweating a lot last night. He didn't feel too hot, like there were too many blankets on him, but was drenched with sweat. Got up in the middle of the night to wipe himself.
Now that's ringing alarm bells in my head. I'm feeling at a loss at this stage, don't know what to do any more.

[Catkins]

He could have been having a dream then woke up, not remembering the dream. That would have made him sweaty.

The scan will show if anything needs exploring. Trust what your doctor said, whether it's one side or both.

You're spiralling. Did you find going through the CBT helpful? Is there anything else you can do to distract yourself?

[BrokenGirl]

I know I'm in a spiral but it's so difficult to get out of. It's as if I'm falling and falling and can't stop for a minute just to catch my breath and think about climbing back up. I'm just doing the CBT worksheets in the sticky posts here. They've helped me to a certain degree but not for this. There's been some minor issues over the past few weeks where the CBT has helped me and I've worked through it, issues that would have turned into huge worries a couple of months ago.

For my son I'll just have to see how it goes. Other than the sweating he seems fine, apart from a bit of hay fever.

My daughter's scan is tomorrow and I'm so nervous about it. I even saw a mark on the top of her chest last night and am panicking about skin cancer. It didn't look like a normal spot you'd get. I know that sounds ridiculous and if I was reading this after somebody else wrote it I'd be thinking too they are in a bad spiral. It's so easy to spot someone else's HA taking control of them but so hard to shake it off when it's happening to me.

I'll see how tomorrow goes but we won't get the results for a couple of days anyway

[BrokenGirl]

I haven't been this scared in a long time, hardly slept last night. Can't get the thoughts of bone cancer of something serious like it out of my head. This is such a horrible feeling. My daughter also told me over the weekend that the bottom of her back is bruised, where her spine is. I know her spine sticks out a bit and i did see that bruising a few years ago but put it down to the hard chair she had in school.
I hate this, feel so helpless

[NoraB]

Hi all, just looking for a bit of advice. My daughter (13) told me a few days ago that she's been having pain for the past 2 months or so. The best way I can describe it is it's in her bum cheeks, left and right. It's kind of like the bone in there. It gets worse when she sits down and she said it was extremely uncomfortable in school as they have hard seats there.
It got very uncomfortable yesterday, even when she was standing. She gets relief from it if she lies down on heat.
I'm not sure what this could be and I'm trying to stay calm. Could it be a growing issue, she is very thin even though she eats a lot. Or possibly dehydration as she doesn't drink much and I'm trying to get her to change that now?
I know I can't get a diagnosis here but wondering if anyone has any thoughts, or if it happened to anyone here what caused it.
I think I'll have to ring the doctor about it at this stage but I can't do it until the end of the week as we're going away today for a few days.

I'd say that it sounds like a musculoskeletal issue given that your daughter is sitting down a lot on hard chairs and doesn't have much 'natural cushioning' on her bottom. It's a good sign that the discomfort is eased when lying down. She could also have injured herself during sports but hasn't made the connection?

On a practical level - give her a cushion to use at school. Use a proper orthopaedic type one.

I'd definitely run this past your GP. Lots of minor (and more likely) causes for this than what will be in your mind but pain is pain and needs sorting out, so they need to understand what the issue is to treat it effectively.

If it helps you, I had a problem which lasted for 6 months. Pain in my bottom. I couldn't walk without a stick at one point and the only time I got any kind of relief was when I was lying down. It turned out to be inflammation due to the time I spend sitting because I have fibromyalgia.. I was given exercises and with those and heat treatment - it went away, but I still use the ortho cushion..

[BrokenGirl]

I'd say that it sounds like a musculoskeletal issue given that your daughter is sitting down a lot on hard chairs and doesn't have much 'natural cushioning' on her bottom. It's a good sign that the discomfort is eased when lying down. She could also have injured herself during sports but hasn't made the connection?

On a practical level - give her a cushion to use at school. Use a proper orthopaedic type one.

I'd definitely run this past your GP. Lots of minor (and more likely) causes for this than what will be in your mind but pain is pain and needs sorting out, so they need to understand what the issue is to treat it effectively.

If it helps you, I had a problem which lasted for 6 months. Pain in my bottom. I couldn't walk without a stick at one point and the only time I got any kind of relief was when I was lying down. It turned out to be inflammation due to the time I spend sitting because I have fibromyalgia.. I was given exercises and with those and heat treatment - it went away, but I still use the ortho cushion..
I took her to the GP last Friday. She wasn't sure what was causing it so arranged for her to have an xray on her pelvic area, which she had today.
It will be Wednesday or Thursday before we get the result of that.
But I'm also worried that since we were at the doctor my daughter said to me it's only on her right side the pain is and she thinks it might always have just been the right side. I'm not sure if that would have changed what the doctor said had she known it.

She doesn't play any sports so it's not an injury from that. And she hasn't been in school for a month now so can't blame the hard seats for it.

I'm in a spiral at the moment so there's all sorts going through my head. If nothing shows up on the xray what then? Is that a good or a bad sign? Will she need more tests, mri maybe? I hate having these questions in my head but they never stop.

[NoraB]

She doesn't play any sports so it's not an injury from that. And she hasn't been in school for a month now so can't blame the hard seats for it.

She doesn't do PE at school? I thought all children had to do it?

You don't need to be doing sports to get an injury. Kids are always pushing and shoving one another at school. There could well have been a very minor incident - so minor that she doesn't even remember it - but which has caused some minor inflammation that will take a few months to heal. I had an MRI on my pelvis. An X Ray won't show that kind of thing so one may be necessary.

It could also be down to posture. If your daughter has any issues with her feet (fallen arches etc) then it could affect the pelvic region because it's the pelvis that takes the weight of the body and could cause a one-sided issue if we carry our weight more on one side than the other. I have pronation in my feet and my left side is affected most because I naturally put more weight on that side..

My son had a lot of pain and struggled to do PE until he saw an ortho specialist and was fitted with insoles..


I'm in a spiral at the moment so there's all sorts going through my head. If nothing shows up on the xray what then? Is that a good or a bad sign? Will she need more tests, mri maybe? I hate having these questions in my head but they never stop.

The best thing you can do is to try and keep your health anxiety under control because you don't want your daughter to develop HA. There are many minor (and more likely) causes than where your mind will be taking you...

My son is autistic and required a brain scan when he was about 8 years old. It coincided with my battle with HA so I understand you. But, I knew I had to use whatever strength I had to keep my fears from him, and somehow I managed it. All that was found was some enlarged adenoids - common in young people - and which also accounts for his night-time snorting. He used to sleep in with me and I thought I had Peppa Pig in with me. :ohmy: I was thinking brain tumour - obviously - because I had a raging case of health anxiety, but it turned out to be a very minor issue, and I'm sure that this is a minor issue with your daughter too, so try to hang in there lovely - because you will potentially have to deal with the aftermath of this spiralling long after this issue has resolved for your daughter...

[pulisa]

Thanks for your replies.

Update: I took her to the doctor this morning and she's sending her for a scan. Won't get it done until Monday. In the meantime she's giving her anti inflammatorys. The doctor did say, even though she doesn't know what's causing it, she doesn't think it's anything serious. I was glad to hear that. But coming home in the car my daughter said the pain is now only in her right side and she's not sure if it's always just been the right side. She said maybe she should have said that to the doctor and I said yes, she should. I asked her several times over the past week or so if it was on both sides and she always said yes. Now she's thinking maybe it's not as she has the pain on one side now.
This is worrying me. I wish she had said that to the doctor. It might change what the doctor said to us. One sided pain always worries me because with HA your mind goes to awful places.

I wasn't too bad leaving the doctors but now I'm worried sick again. What kind of things do x-rays even pick up?


It's strange that your daughter can't pinpoint exactly where the pain is if she has had it for a few weeks though. I presume that she's aware of your HA? She's been off school for a month now so how is she filling her time? has she ever talked to you about being anxious herself?

[Chlobo]

I had the strangest leg/groin pain for 4 months!
it started out of the blue and I couldn’t pin point an injury at all.
I was worried sick and went back and forth to the doctors who said he didn’t think it was anything to worry about, just an injury.
I ended up having an entire pelvic X-ray and blood tests done, all came back normal.
one day the pain just disappeared.

[pulisa]

https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?208448-Very-worried-about-daughter-again-PLEASE-READ!

It may be worth re-reading this thread again, BG. There are some very helpful comments on it including one from yourself which is very positive and insightful.

[BrokenGirl]

Thanks for all the replies above. I did take everything on board that you said but I really need advice here.

I rang the doctor this morning to see if the xray results were back and they were. Everything was normal. It was the secretary told me this and she thought that was the end of it. I said I need to speak with the doctor now because I don't know where to go from here. She didn't want to put me through to the doctor and asked me had we talked about an MRI next. I said we hadn't talked about anything after the xray. She said she'd talk to the doctor for me and would ring me back in the afternoon.
When she rang me back, all the doctor told her was that the xray results were normal and that was it. The secretary asked the doctor about an MRI and all she said was that if I wanted one I could get it and if I didn't then not to bother. I was then asked what I want to do.
I couldn't believe this. What I want is to talk to the doctor about it and see what I should do. Get her advice. How do we find out what's causing this pain? I also wanted to ask her about the medication she gave my daughter. She put her on ibuprofen and it has helped. But there's a good chance that once she stops taking the meds the pain will come back. And she can't keep taking them for very long anyway. They are only pain killers, masking the pain.
So I have to make a decision whether she gets an MRI or not. The secretary didn't really know what to say to me, was nearly advising against having the MRI, and the doctor just wouldn't speak to me. I don't know what to do here. I shouldn't have to make this decision without the doctors advice. We have to find out what's causing the pain so it can be treated and the doctor couldn't care less if she has an MRI or not.


I'd really appreciate any advice on this. What would other people do?

[pulisa]

Accept that the X ray was normal and not allow my HA to affect my daughter's own stress levels. Your doctor hopefully sees a pattern now and is acting in the best interests of your daughter.

[Fishmanpa]

You certainly can go for a 2nd opinion but based on your post history it's my belief that your daughter has inherited/learned your HA behaviors. Perhaps it's time to address this for both of you?

FMP

[BrokenGirl]

Pulisa
The xray was normal and that is great. But whether I have HA or not is irrelevant here. My daughter has pain and because the xray is normal we don't know what's causing it. How can my doctor be putting my daughter's best interest at heart by saying lets do no more? Lets not bother finding out what's causing the pain.
I have HA but my daughter doesn't. And she doesn't know I have it. My husband has even told me this - he sees how I can hide it from my children.


Fishman
Kind of what I've said above, and I don't mean any disrespect by it. Are you saying that my daughter doesn't have pain, it's all to do with HA, which she doesn't have?


I know I've asked for advice and of course we don't always get the advice we want to hear, but surely the answer to this cannot be to do nothing else now and let her go on in pain and not know what's causing it?
Again, I'm not having a go at either of you, and I really appreciate you taking the time to reply, but I'm confused as to what I should do. To me it seems irresponsible to blame this on anxiety and do nothing about it.

[pulisa]

But your GP has said to call a halt to it and won't even speak to you. Why do you think this is?

Have you had a look at your post history which details all the many times you have been worried about your daughter's health?

I know you will think I'm being harsh but I have a son who has a whole load of genuine health issues/ anatomical defects. I know what it's like to be at the hospital a lot and it's not ideal for young teens to be exposed to unnecessary scans which could throw up all sorts of incidental findings which are totally benign but which would just be more ammo for your HA.

[Iwant2bhealthy]

When I was a young teen I used to get hip pain all the time. Sometimes on the side and sometimes on the bum side. It's very normal, and it's just growing pains. I have hypermobility of all joints, and its probably why I experienced those pains as more annoying than my friends. I'm sure it's the same for your daughter.

As a word of caution... My HA is probably rooted in my mother's idea to bring me to doctors and check ups even when I was feeling great. My mother's HA probably started when my brother got very sick as a child. It's a vicious circle and while it is lovely that you care about your daughter (really, 100 points for good parenting and taking your child seriously!) it would still be great to break the HA habit in the family. Is there anything you can think of that could help you now?

[Fishmanpa]

Fishman
Kind of what I've said above, and I don't mean any disrespect by it. Are you saying that my daughter doesn't have pain, it's all to do with HA, which she doesn't have?

I'm not saying she isn't experiencing some 'discomfort', but based on scientific and professional medical testing and opinion, they've not determined a physical reason. One look at the forum and you can see thousands of examples of normal physical anomalies that are blown 100% out of proportion. Your history of your personal worries and worries with your daughter is well documented here and it's my personal and unprofessional opinion its affecting her mental health. It also focuses attention from you to her and that speaks volumes. Again, you certainly can seek a 2nd and 3rd opinion but at least to me, the issue is obvious :shrug:

FMP

[NotDeadYet]

The doctor isn’t worried and is assuming standard muscle or growing pains. That’s clearly evident by the ibuprofen working. Ibuprofen doesn’t “mask” pain, it alleviates by reducing inflammation. I know you’ve stated she hasn’t injured herself or done anything to cause the pain but she’s a teenager who is growing!

You are right that HA isn’t causing her pain b your reaction is HA driven. Note how you brought up an MRI, not the doctor. There’s no need for one and thus the doctor is leaving it to you to decide.

[BrokenGirl]

An update on this one, and I know a lot of you don't agree with this. I'm ringing tomorrow to book my daughter in for an mri. She's still taking the ibuprofen but still has the pain.
My husband and both my parents also think she needs to go for an mri. And none of them have HA. This has nothing to do with HA. My daughter is terrified of going back to school in September if this isn't sorted. Sitting down all day is very painful for her. I don't see what else I can do. Her xray was clear, which was good. But something is causing her pain so perhaps the mri will show us. I'm really scared but this needs to be sorted for her sake.

[Iwant2bhealthy]

I hope the results of the MRI will be good, and that you will be able to accept them. Good luck!

[worryingmum]

Hi Broken Girl

Did you ever get an answer to what was causing your daughter's pain? I'm in the same situation with my 14 year old daughter.
Thanks

[Siffi]

Hope the MRI comes back fine. Sounds like a coccyx/glut issue. Try not to worry too much, kids/teens can have all sorts of pains and aches and it is completely benign 99.9% of the time. Look at the way she sits as well, if she slouches she can put extra pressure on that area.