View Full Version : 2nd AZ vaccine - not coping after having it
I had my second dose of AZ vaccine on Sunday, after worrying about it for weeks and missing my previous appointment. I tried to talk to my GP about my concerns, knowing how I was after the first and that it will only be worse now because now the period of concern is extended to 28 days. I wanted to have a different vaccine and I know that is not the policy, but there are exemptions and being forced to take one risk while you are not allowed to accept another one seems totally unreasonable and unfair. I felt like there was no one to really talk to who wants to hear you out, and those you try to talk to seem either misinformed or just think that you will believe whatever they tell you even if it makes no sense. That does nothing for someone with anxiety, just makes things 100 times worse. I wanted to have my vaccine at the hospital thinking that was my best shot at finding someone who would care and try to help and the nurse there actually told me there were no cases of clots after second dose and I am worried over nothing. When I said what do you mean, they reported a number of cases (I don't know the latest numbers and also wonder how they do their calculations when there is a delay period), she said 'Show me the data!' 😳 I am not sure if she thought she would make me feel better saying that, but it really did not have that effect. Then she also tried to explain how the clots happen, which also was not correct. I decided to just take the vaccine and try to get through this as best as I can, as there was really no other choice. Now I have to deal with that!
I am on Day 4 and losing my mind. I have been having a headache all day. It feels a little like a tension headache, but now every headache is a reason to panic. I am not sure what to do, I don't want to rush to A&E right away, but I am terrified. The hardest thing is feeling like there is just no support at all or anyone who wants to listen. This year has been so difficult and this is now the culmination for me, I feel like everything is falling apart. People at work have been talking about organizing a meet up in Barcelona! All I could think of is that I cannot plan anything because something bad may happen 😢😰
I was reading all the posts on this forum before and mostly avoided posting myself, mainly because there is a lot of statistics being thrown around in response to any concerns. I am sure most of us are aware of the numbers. The problem is that most of us with health anxiety worry about the worst case scenario, even if the chances are 0.00001%. Especially when you hear of real people this happened to! That did it for me, just ruined every chance of reasoning with data, realizing they probably did not even think this could happen.
Iwant2bhealthy
23-06-21, 20:39
I am sure most of us are aware of the numbers. The problem is that most of us with health anxiety worry about the worst case scenario, even if the chances are 0.00001%.
What can you do about it now?
Iwant2bhealthy
23-06-21, 20:44
A
I had my second dose of AZ vaccine on Sunday, after worrying about it for weeks and missing my previous appointment. I tried to talk to my GP about my concerns, knowing how I was after the first and that it will only be worse now because now the period of concern is extended to 28 days. I wanted to have a different vaccine and I know that is not the policy, but there are exemptions and being forced to take one risk while you are not allowed to accept another one seems totally unreasonable and unfair. I felt like there was no one to really talk to who wants to hear you out, and those you try to talk to seem either misinformed or just think that you will believe whatever they tell you even if it makes no sense. That does nothing for someone with anxiety, just makes things 100 times worse. I wanted to have my vaccine at the hospital thinking that was my best shot at finding someone who would care and try to help and the nurse there actually told me there were no cases of clots after second dose and I am worried over nothing. When I said what do you mean, they reported a number of cases (I don't know the latest numbers and also wonder how they do their calculations when there is a delay period), she said 'Show me the data!' I am not sure if she thought she would make me feel better saying that, but it really did not have that effect. Then she also tried to explain how the clots happen, which also was not correct. I decided to just take the vaccine and try to get through this as best as I can, as there was really no other choice. Now I have to deal with that!
I am on Day 4 and losing my mind. I have been having a headache all day. It feels a little like a tension headache, but now every headache is a reason to panic. I am not sure what to do, I don't want to rush to A&E right away, but I am terrified. The hardest thing is feeling like there is just no support at all or anyone who wants to listen. This year has been so difficult and this is now the culmination for me, I feel like everything is falling apart. People at work have been talking about organizing a meet up in Barcelona! All I could think of is that I cannot plan anything because something bad may happen
I was reading all the posts on this forum before and mostly avoided posting myself, mainly because there is a lot of statistics being thrown around in response to any concerns. I am sure most of us are aware of the numbers. The problem is that most of us with health anxiety worry about the worst case scenario, even if the chances are 0.00001%. Especially when you hear of real people this happened to! That did it for me, just ruined every chance of reasoning with data, realizing they probably did not even think this could happen.
Hi Mila, I have health anxiety so I understand the worry over things that realistically won’t happen. You will be ok, by getting that second dose you’ve protected yourself really well against catching COVID. You aren’t alone in worrying like this but you will be alright.
I was reading all the posts on this forum before and mostly avoided posting myself, mainly because there is a lot of statistics being thrown around in response to any concerns. I am sure most of us are aware of the numbers. The problem is that most of us with health anxiety worry about the worst case scenario, even if the chances are 0.00001%
Yes indeed, but stats and thinking about probabilities is a very strong way of challenging your thinking about this life event (the second vaccine) as opposed to any other life event. Even if many are aware of the 'numbers' there is often a lack of real application of those statistics and using them to positive effect. The risks associated with this vaccine as opposed to covid itself are weeny, more risky is crossing the road, eating an icecream, falling down the stairs, etc and so forth. Living, and anything involved in that state of being, carries some risk. You have to weigh up which is the least 'risky' scenario for you and go with that. In this case, you have gone with the second vaccine. Yes, you could be that 0.000001, but its far less likely than being that 0.1 that ends up in hospital with covid. Being able to rationalise and see that your concerns are out of proportion with the risk attached are important skills. If you add in other positive reenforcement facts - medics are now highly aware of the rare clotting issue, medics are fully versed in treating the rare clotting issue and your level of awareness is high of something being wrong - and chances of anything 'finishing you off' is reduced to negligible.
Accepting that some level of risk in everything we do daily is something that is important. Taking a paracetamol, cutting the hedge, using cleaning products, the list is endless throughout our lives. We don't however have huge numbers of media articles focusing on cutting hedges though do we, or people who have awful reactions to common painkillers. However, we have about this rare side effect. Those people who had the rare clotting problems probably, you are right, didn't think it would be them - but it was a chance they took, just as you take a chance in crossing the road or driving your car. What I'm saying is that the only way around this is to use your own positive reenforcement and rationalise that your concerns are out of proportion with the likelihood by a country mile.
Do you go to A and E for what you believe is a tension headache (lets be honest, you ARE incredibly tense and thinking about headaches all the time at the moment!) ? No, you don't. If you have any of the following -
a new, severe headache which is not helped by usual painkillers or is getting worse
a headache which seems worse when lying down or bending over
an unusual headache that may be accompanied by:
blurred vision, nausea and vomiting
difficulty with your speech
weakness, drowsiness or seizures
new, unexplained pinprick bruising or bleeding
shortness of breath, chest pain, leg swelling or persistent abdominal pain
then yes you do need to seek medical help.
I do think a number of people have tried, in the only ways they know how and are possible, to reassure. Ultimately though, its your choice and everyone has to accept the risks in order to be protected. I think you made the right choice.
What do you want people to say, Mila? You don't accept data or a nurse's attempts to help you make sense of the blood clot issue. Of course with HA you automatically go to worst case scenario as have so many people on here before you.
If you took yourself to A&E and described your headache would you accept the assessment? What would actually help you now except fast forwarding the next 28 days and emerging safe and well?
Looking back at some of your past posts I see that you have written "my curse is that I know too much about medicine" in a thread asking whether doctors lie to you..
I am not sure what kind of support I could expect outside of this forum when this is the responses I get for posting how I feel on here.
@Pulisa I was hoping for some understanding from fellow health anxiety sufferers who can relate. Maybe someone who had a headache after their vaccine. If you can't understand how I feel, I am not sure it is very helpful for you to reply. It actually makes people who are in a very vulnerable state feel much worse then they already do. It can push people over the edge.
I do accept assessments. They are facts. I work in clinical trials, so I know very well about the side effects of different drugs people are using without thinking twice, I understand statistics very well and know that clots are so much more likely from a variety of different drugs or activities. I can rationalise everything, I just always see the best and worst case scenario, and have difficulty letting go of the worst one. Being in a situation where you are basically told to watch out for a list of symptoms over a period of time puts me in a state of constant anxiety, no matter how unlikely that is. But not taking the vaccine was not an option either. I just need some help getting through this now and I was hoping that this was a safe place to open up, as I felt so hopeless, but I was wrong and the effect was certainly opposite of what I was hoping for.
I am not sure what kind of support I could expect outside of this forum when this is the responses I get for posting how I feel on here.
I just need some help getting through this now and I was hoping that this was a safe place to open up, as I felt so hopeless, but I was wrong and the effect was certainly opposite of what I was hoping for.
Mila, thats unfair. I can only speak for myself, but I did put considerable time into trying to assist you. As you've been a member on here for 16 years, though not a frequent poster in the last few, I thought maybe considering your thought processes about risk might be a helpful way to go on it, to really consider your 'thinking behaviour'. Its not nice that you are feeling this way, of course, and I'm sure there are many who have felt the same, but you can only get through the next 28 days without falling apart by applying some things yourself. Sometimes in life, infact many times, there are no magic answers from somebody else and its your own behaviours that can make the difference. In all honesty, Pulisa is right, what else could really make a difference to you ? Tea and sympathy, quoting things that you can find faults with won't make any difference, as it hasn't, you admit, with the previous people you have spoken to.
It is a safe place to open up, but you mustn’t just expect everyone to reassure you because that just fuels your/our need for further reassurance about our anxieties.
You’ve been given good answers but you’re ignoring the sense and just craving people who feel exactly the same as you do.
Think about what you would say to a friend or colleague if they were having the same thoughts. What would you recommend?
I had a headache on and off for a couple of days - I had my 2nd jab 10 days ago. It doesn’t feel like a different kind of headache than I’ve had before. Does yours? If so, ring 111 don’t just go straight to a&e.
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Mila, thats unfair. I can only speak for myself, but I put considerable time into trying to assist you. As you've been a member on here for 16 years, though not a frequent poster in the last few, I thought maybe considering your thought processes about risk might be a helpful way to go on it, to really consider your 'thinking behaviour'. Its not nice that you are feeling this way, of course, and I'm sure there are many who have felt the same, but you can only get through the next 28 days without falling apart by applying some things yourself.
Carys, I have responded the way I did in response to Pulisa's post, not yours. I appreciate the effort you have put in to reply. It was not what I was looking for, nor I expect someone to be able to diagnose me, but I am still grateful. And I certainly do not want to go to A&E. What is so wrong in looking to talk to people who feel the same way? That is how some people deal with it, while others need to rationalise.
Hi Mila, I have health anxiety so I understand the worry over things that realistically won’t happen. You will be ok, by getting that second dose you’ve protected yourself really well against catching COVID. You aren’t alone in worrying like this but you will be alright.
Hi green_tea, Thank you so much for reading and replying to my post. Sometimes we just need to share and hear some kind words to pick ourselves up.
What is so wrong in looking to talk to people who feel the same way? That is how some people deal with it, while others need to rationalise.
Well, ok, I suppose that just sharing fear is one way to go, but does it actually make you feel any better over the next 28 days ? People experiencing the same feelings as you are numerous, the threads on here are testament to that, the number of people turning up to A and E departments thinking they have the rare disorder are many (the media even commented on it). How far does knowing people feel the same way help you though ? Does it make your terror go ? Can it make you able to stop falling apart and crumbling ? Just talking about how much you are scared will reenforce those feelings and give them validity. Its not nice feeling as you do, so making it stop is better than just reiterating how bad it is ?
I had my second one on 31st May. 2 days later I had a headache. Tension headache as it happens, but at the time I wondered...... I didn't want to fall apart and feel dreadful for the remaining weeks, it would have been absolutely awful, so worked on counteracting my thinking.
It is a safe place to open up, but you mustn’t just expect everyone to reassure you because that just fuels your/our need for further reassurance about our anxieties.
You’ve been given good answers but you’re ignoring the sense and just craving people who feel exactly the same as you do.
Think about what you would say to a friend or colleague if they were having the same thoughts. What would you recommend?
I had a headache on and off for a couple of days - I had my 2nd jab 10 days ago. It doesn’t feel like a different kind of headache than I’ve had before. Does yours? If so, ring 111 don’t just go straight to a&e.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I would listen to my friend and try to understand what they need from me to feel better. Exactly what I would hope for as well. Just because people open up it doesn't mean they need you to fix them or that you have to have a solution. They just want a friendly ear. To open up to someone who is not going to think they are bonkers or being ridiculous.
I do try to appreciate all the replies, and I am happy for you that you were able to be so rational about your headache. I am sure you have something that you find hard to deal with since you are on this forum. This is something I find hard. We are all different.
It actually helps me just to talk about how I’m feeling and have a sympathetic ear from people who understand. Perhaps it’s unusual but it’s incredibly helpful for me.
Well, ok, I suppose that just sharing fear is one way to go, but does it actually make you feel any better over the next 28 days ? People experiencing the same feelings as you are numerous, the threads on here are testament to that, the number of people turning up to A and E departments thinking they have the rare disorder are many (the media even commented on it). How far does knowing people feel the same way help you though ? Does it make your terror go ? Can it make you able to stop falling apart and crumbling ? Just talking about how much you are scared will reenforce those feelings and give them validity. Its not nice feeling as you do, so making it stop is better than just reiterating how bad it is ?
I had my second one on 31st May. 2 days later I had a headache. Tension headache as it happens, but at the time I wondered...... I didn't want to fall apart and feel dreadful for the remaining weeks, it would have been absolutely awful, so worked on counteracting my thinking.
Hi Carys, it actually really helps me. Voicing it out helps me, because I can see it differently. It is not just something I am fighting in my head. Hearing what you wrote about your headache also helps. More than any numbers. I know that eventually I will get tired of being afraid, way before 28 days. I never went to A&E after the first one even though, as you said, others flocked. In fact I have not visited A&E in years. But putting faces to people who died of this had a big impact and I was very anxious about getting the vaccine before I even got it, hence I am in this state right now.
I was very anxious about getting the vaccine before I even got it, hence I am in this state right now.
I can empathise, I was in the biggest state since I heard they were even working on creating vaccines. I have a medicine phobia, a very severe one. In the weeks running up to my first vaccine I was at times paralysed with fear, lost weight, couldn't sleep...and so on.....oh and I was a nightmare to live with too LOL I tried so so hard to use any mental skill I could find during this time to rationalise and reassure, but, it was all I could do to drag myself into that vacc room sweating, pale and shaking, certain I would seccumb to some awful outcome. Irrational isn't it, as here I am 3 weeks after the second one having wasted a *^&%& load of emotional energy on something that wasn't worth it. The second one I was determined I wouldn't let myself be that way.
A headache after the vaccine is the most common side effect, from tension or your immune system working away, but then you know this. Do a search on here for vaccine and headache, I should think you will come across many people who have experienced similar fears. You will be ok, and rest assured that so so many others feel the same, but I still recommend working on your thought processes ;)
I am not sure what kind of support I could expect outside of this forum when this is the responses I get for posting how I feel on here.
@Pulisa I was hoping for some understanding from fellow health anxiety sufferers who can relate. Maybe someone who had a headache after their vaccine. If you can't understand how I feel, I am not sure it is very helpful for you to reply. It actually makes people who are in a very vulnerable state feel much worse then they already do. It can push people over the edge.
I do accept assessments. They are facts. I work in clinical trials, so I know very well about the side effects of different drugs people are using without thinking twice, I understand statistics very well and know that clots are so much more likely from a variety of different drugs or activities. I can rationalise everything, I just always see the best and worst case scenario, and have difficulty letting go of the worst one. Being in a situation where you are basically told to watch out for a list of symptoms over a period of time puts me in a state of constant anxiety, no matter how unlikely that is. But not taking the vaccine was not an option either. I just need some help getting through this now and I was hoping that this was a safe place to open up, as I felt so hopeless, but I was wrong and the effect was certainly opposite of what I was hoping for.
I'm sorry if what I posted had the potential to push you over the edge. It was intended to challenge your thoughts. Working in clinical trials must be a poisoned chalice when it comes to vaccines and too much knowledge can be unhelpful with HA..as you know. Of course I understand your fears but you know that so many others feel the same and you are looking for some relief in your anxiety and challenging your thoughts could well be more helpful than sympathy and empathy alone? You have to do something practical as well from my experience of managing my own HA.
I'm sorry if what I posted had the potential to push you over the edge. It was intended to challenge your thoughts.
Don't sweat it P. I had someone react to me recently for a similar approach. I think this Mila understands, deep down, that you only want to help.
People often react from emotion, (don't I know it) and that's what Mila's done - but if what you've said will cause her to actually challenge her thoughts, then it's job done. Often, it's when we feel pissed off that we motivate ourselves, right?
@Mila - I make no apologies for what I'm about to say..
Sympathy won't make you better. Nor will empathy. Reassurance is a short term fix to a long-term problem. Changing your thoughts will make you better, and that means that you challenge them - just as Pulisa was advising you to do, and just as any therapist worth their salt would advise you to do.
P is trying to hand you the tools to help you long-term - not just to see you through this spiral...
Apologies for chiming in here, but... yes.
Like many others here, I've suffered from evil health anxiety. Sympathy has never helped except on a superficial, short-term level. Yes, it makes things bearable in the moment, but all it really does is reinforce and reward the thought that something could really be wrong.
What actually stops health anxiety is tough love from others and positive action from yourself.
Yep - NoraB, BlueI and Pulisa.....entirely agree. Its called 'no more panic' because the aim to is stop people feeling so stressed and anxious, and give guidance towards potential solutions. (from a personal and non-professional level of course) I said it earlier in a more wordy way - sympathy and empathy can't make you feel better long-term.
Mila........
here we go......
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?245130-Intense-fear-of-2nd-Astra-Zeneca-vaccination-my-anxiety-is-spiralling-out-of-control
I’m honestly appalled at the behaviour by some people here. There’s a difference between helping people confront their fears and belittling them. You say it’s tough love but that’s not how it comes across. It just comes across as dismissive and horrible. I feel stupid enough when I’m having trouble without someone reinforcing it.
You can’t help anyone if you scare them off. Maybe you’ve answered the same questions hundreds of times and you are fed up but maybe take a break rather than what’s happening right now.
Reply to me or not, I wont read it because I genuinely couldn’t cope with how I know some of you will reply to this.
Think about that, in three days you’ve made me afraid to post anything or read replies. Think about how many other people that might have happened to.
Maybe you should report my posts to admin, Green Tea? I deserve a ban if that is my punishment for being dismissive and horrible.
Green_tea, I am so grateful for your comment!! I have certainly thought about deleting the whole post and just never posting again. I get enough tough love from people around me who do not understand that I do not even speak about it anymore. Just put up a brave face, keep going, like nothing is going on and fight my demons in my head. If you have not experienced it, you will never be able to understand. But I thought I can speak here and get a friendly ear and just an outlet so that I stay on top of it. I just need to get through this very challenging time. I have done amazingly well for such a long time and through this incredibly tough year! Tough love does not work for everyone. Sometimes you just need to hear you are not the only one to remind yourself you can do it.
Well, the fact that you feel this way has certainly made me wary of posting genuine attempts at helping. I don't know what 'tone' you are reading these replies with, but certainly none of them intended to give anything other than some thoughts to try and make a difference to the 'terror' you said you were feeling, coming from a place of 'caring'. We are ALL having a challenging year and having tough times, none of knows the lives of each other, and I think that needs to be remembered - we are all on this forum for our own personal reasons. 'Tough love' was not what I read, what I read were genuine ideas to make an impact on your anxiety many of them from people who have been in the depths of despair with anxiety problems, but have found a way out of it. If you just wanted to hear you weren't the only one then that is evidenced throughout the forum on thread after thread about COVID. Your original post sounded very much like a list of people and things you'd tried and you were needing more input of a similar kind to make a difference to you, so I'm not surprised people tried to be more proactive with their approach. I wish you all the best, I'm sure you will be fine and have no issues with the vaccine, but I won't return to this thread again.
Mila, Green_Tea, I'm sorry if you've felt intimidated here. The advice you've been getting is from people who've mostly made it through their health anxiety and out the other side, though - doesn't that alone make it worth at least cursory consideration?
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