Worried about atrophy

[niknakx]

As I’m sure a few of you can tell, I have been hardcore going down the rabbit hole recently. I have bounced from one symptom to another, focusing on about 5 different ones this week.
My current worry is giving me lots of questions and I was wondering if someone could help me out because I can’t go visit a doctor currently.
So I have been obsessing over my feet and if there is possible atrophy by my left ankle. The skin on my left foot collapses in quite significantly and leaves a kind of crater on the top left of my foot. It’s quite hard to explain. But when comparing it to my right foot it is fairly significantly more sunken in. I’m trying to be logical and tell myself that it is the very spot where i has surgery on my foot over two years ago and had a large vein removed from there, so that is a possibility as to why it is sunken in more.
My question is, if I did have viable atrophy on my foot, do you think I would have some form of muscle weakness now, because I haven’t noticed any weakness in that area *touch wood*. I spoke to my mum last night and she told me I was being ridiculous and it was just wear my surgery was. I hate being like this.

[Fishmanpa]

I'm sorry to see you so deep in the rabbit hole. The unusual self checking behaviors and mental gymnastics are quite evident. Perhaps contacting mental health services is more appropriate at this point?

FMP

[niknakx]

Unfortunately I am currently living 6000 miles away from home in a country that doesn’t speak English so it’s quite challenging for me to find help right now. I feel like I’m going crazy, I’m searching like crazy for any photos that might have my feet in from the last two years to compare how it looks. I just want to be out of this loop again, it’s ruining me. I thought I had broken the cycle the other day but then I noticed my feet. Even though I KNOW they have looked like this for months at this point if not years. This is exhausting.