PLEASE RESPOND- Going back on prozac again for the fourth time and I'm scared

[Chrysmar09]

I started posting in this forum back in 2017 when I went through a hard time with my father being sick and living back with my parents with my daughter. I went through hell for months and thought I wouldn't make it but I did somehow and ended up taking Prozac again for three years. I've taken prozac back when it was sarafem in high school then 20mg when I was going through a horrible divorce, then again when I moved out of state, then back on it in 2017. The only reason Ive ever stopped taking it was because my insurance would lapse and I couldn't go see a Dr.

Last time I took it was Dec 2020 while I had covid and again my insurance lapsed and I couldn't get the Dr to prescribe it to me.

Fast forward to now and my anxiety is back and in full force. After a series of stressful events that involved my daughter getting sick, me thinking I had covid again, a friendship gone wrong, and depression I now have GERD and all I do is worry about having esophagus cancer or stomach cancer. I worry and cry in my room. Last night I had another major panic attack. I can't live like this anymore.


I went to a mental health clinic and the psychiatrist gave me 10mg prozac per my request and vistaril since they don't give out benzos....but now I'm wondering if I made a big mistake by taking the prozac today. My right eye is burning, my right ear is hurting, and the acid reflux is in full swing. I'm scared it's not going to work and I've done too much damage to my brain. Please help.

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your issue.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

Please also read this post:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=213239

[panic_down_under]

I started posting in this forum back in 2017

:welcome: back,


I went to a mental health clinic and the psychiatrist gave me 10mg prozac per my request and vistaril since they don't give out benzos....but now I'm wondering if I made a big mistake by taking the prozac today.

It does seem true that ADs tend to become less effective each time they are stopped and restarted, but that doesn't necessarily mean fluoxetine won't work for you this time. However, the side-effects may be different this time and you may need to take a higher dose to get the same results.


My right eye is burning, my right ear is hurting, and the acid reflux is in full swing. I'm scared it's not going to work and I've done too much damage to my brain. Please help.

Burning eyes and painful ears are not typical SSRI side-effects, however, an increase in anxiety at the beginning can be and maybe these symptoms owe more to this. What damage do you think has been done to your brain?

[Chrysmar09]

First off thanks for responding. I'm afraid that the ADs are causing me to become dependent on them. I'm scared that I'm going to have a psychotic break on them or it lead me into becoming mentally unstable. I don't understand why can't I come off of them.

Like even now I'm ready to quit and this is just my first day. I'm anxious and jittery. I have vistaril 25mg but they make me fe groggy and drunk once I wake up from them. Then add on the fact that I'm dealing with Gerd and I'm spiraling. This is too much

[panic_down_under]

First off thanks for responding. I'm afraid that the ADs are causing me to become dependent on them. I'm scared that I'm going to have a psychotic break on them or it lead me into becoming mentally unstable.

Did you have a psychotic episode, or become mentally unstable the other times you took fluoxetine? If not, why do you think you will this time?


I don't understand why can't I come off of them.

If this is your fourth time on fluoxetine you must have stopped taking it three times which suggests you can come off it. Whether you should is another matter. What you've posted here makes a strong case for staying on fluoxetine, or another AD permanently if possible.


Like even now I'm ready to quit and this is just my first day. I'm anxious and jittery. I have vistaril 25mg but they make me fe groggy and drunk once I wake up from them. Then add on the fact that I'm dealing with Gerd and I'm spiraling. This is too much

That's the anxiety talking. Was your life better with, or without medication? If 'with', then focus on that and not the side-effects which while unpleasant are not a sign of harm.

[Chrysmar09]

No I havent had a psychotic break but that's my biggest fears. And no my life wasn't great at all... I think I'm scared of change even when that change may be good. I am in therapy now and I'm trying to improve my life. But it seems like I'm not getting anywhere. I'm going to start really doing cbt and mindfulness

[panic_down_under]

No I havent had a psychotic break but that's my biggest fears.

How many of your fears actually come to pass? I'm guessing none, or very, very few. Plus the 'funny' thing with us anxious people is that when bad things really do happen we usually cope a lot better than most. It is the anticipatory fear of things which hardly ever happen that brings us undone, not the realities.


I am in therapy now and I'm trying to improve my life. But it seems like I'm not getting anywhere. I'm going to start really doing cbt and mindfulness

That's great. Are you going to continue with the fluoxetine too?

[Chrysmar09]

It's day two today and honestly I really don't want to take it but I'm afraid that I already started it so I have to continue.

[KayMK]

Hi. I've been on and off a few times and I have the same fears as you, that it won't work this time around. I'm 10 weeks in, I think it's the 4th time and I'm starting to improve. Around 8 weeks I noticed better moments and now I'm feeling like the worst is over.
Im on 40mg. I started straight on 40 which was rough. I have to be honest the side effects are hard. It's not an easy journey at all.
What helped me was just telling myself it was the side effects, that it's not forever and taking it literally hour by hour, then day by day. Not thinking too far in advance. I know that's easier said than done sometimes but you have to battle those negative thoughts.
I also just let myself do exactly what I felt like I needed to do. No guilt if I needed to stay in bed, I just treated it exactly like I was recovering from a physical illness. Which you are really because anxiety is so physical and takes its toll on your body.
Good luck. I hope it works for you. X

[Chrysmar09]

I took it again today. Going to take it easy for a few days. Im staying in bed for a few days and hopefully I can override the heightened anxiety. I took it at 9 this morning and I'm anticipating anxiety. I don't have any benzos but I do have vistaril. It knocks me out but if I gotta sleep this off I guess I'm sleeping it off lol I just hate this right now

[panic_down_under]

Sounds like a good plan. Try not to dwell on the anxiety as an anxious brain can run rampant if given the chance. Diversion helps.

[Chrysmar09]

Day 2 was terrible. I took the vistaril on day one to help me sleep which it did, but the next day I felt depressed and groggy. Still felt a good amount of anxiety. Just wanted to lay around. Realized the vistaril made me really depressed. I wonder if it's too sedating. I'm still regretting taking the prozac. We have medical marijuana in my state but I'm not sure which strain will make me more anxious and make things worse. I'm starting to eat a little more. Still having weird racing thoughts in the morning. Hearing ringing and high pitches at times. I'm really tired. I feel defeated. If the prozac doesn't work I'm scared to take anything else. Again I think the meds have messed me up to where I'll never be normal or my old self.


I took it this morning today. It's day 3. Pray that I don't quit or have a mental breakdown

[panic_down_under]

Still felt a good amount of anxiety. Just wanted to lay around. Realized the vistaril made me really depressed. I wonder if it's too sedating.

Sedation can feel like being depressed. I suggest you talk to your doctor about this and perhaps try a half dose.


I'm still regretting taking the prozac. We have medical marijuana in my state but I'm not sure which strain will make me more anxious and make things worse

All of them. See below. However, cannabidiol may help.


Again I think the meds have messed me up to where I'll never be normal or my old self.

ADs work by reversing the brain damage caused by high stress hormone levels which kill brain cells (https://dx.doi.org/10.1073%2Fpnas.231475998) in the hippocampal regions of the brain and prevent the growth of new ones. ADs reverse this by stimulating the growth of new cells (neurogenesis). It is these new cells that create the therapeutic outcome, not the ADs directly. Therapy works (https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2013.05.017) the same way.

One of the main cannabinoids found in marijuana, delta-9, tetrahydrocannabinol (d9-THC), causes DNA fragmentation and then neuron cell deaths within, and subsequent atrophy of, the hippocampus (Ameri A (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10368032), 1999; Chan GC, 1998 abstract (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9651215) | full text (pdf (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9651215)); Yucel M (http://archpsyc.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=482744), 2008; Lorenzetti V, 2016 (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25431432)). This is similar to the hippocampal damage caused by stress hormones referred to above.

Alcohol also causes hippocampi to atrophy. Even moderate drinking can reduce (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4568748/) hippocampus neurogenesis by nearly half (see also: Morris SA (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2861155/), 2010; Crews FT (https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh27-2/197-204.htm), 2003)


I took it this morning today. It's day 3. Pray that I don't quit or have a mental breakdown

You need to stop ruminating about 'mental breakdowns' lest it become a self-fulfilling prophesy. An anxious mind can wreak havoc if given the chance. You didn't have a mental breakdown before so there is no reason why you would now. Try and keep busy when awake so you don't have time to dwell on such thoughts.

[Chrysmar09]

You need to stop ruminating about 'mental breakdowns' lest it become a self-fulfilling prophesy. An anxious mind can wreak havoc if given the chance. You didn't have a mental breakdown before so there is no reason why you would now. Try and keep busy when awake so you don't have time to dwell on such thoughts.[/QUOTE]

I'm not trying to have that happen but my anxiety gets the best of me especially in the morning with the random words, sayings, and mind chatter when I wake up. I get scared. I do want to be ok. I don't want to think myself into going crazy.

[Chrysmar09]

Day 3 started out bad due to lack of sleep but got a little better. I even watched tv with my kiddo and cracked some jokes in the evening time. In the afternoon I went for a walk with my niece and vented and cried. I felt better afterwards. The night time is when things get bad. I used to take benedryl to sleep but since I'm also dealing with GERD issues I stopped. Now I don't sleep and in the morning I'm having racing random thoughts and anxiety. Im trembling and shaking in the am.

Today is day 4 and so far just heightened anxiety and again tiredness from not sleeping. This morning the racing thoughts weren't as bad. The night before I put on some headphones and listened to some anxiety videos. Maybe that helped. I went to the mental health clinic today and they gave me trazadone 100mg which is making me nervous. One thing they talk to me about was coming up with coping skills which right now I don't have.

I'm still plugging along .. wish me well

[panic_down_under]

I don't want to think myself into going crazy.

Try countering those thoughts with the fact that you never did at other tough times, so there is no reason why you would this time. Challenge such negative thoughts every time they pop up.


Now I don't sleep and in the morning I'm having racing random thoughts and anxiety. Im trembling and shaking in the am.

If you can't sleep get out of bed and do something for a while, read a book, watch the anxiety videos if they help, or TV, etc, and then try again. Laying there waiting for sleep gives the mind time to ruminate which not only allows anxious thoughts to take hold, but inhibits sleep.


I went to the mental health clinic today and they gave me trazadone 100mg which is making me nervous.

At high doses, 200mg plus, trazodone is a pretty good antidepressant, but it is mostly prescribed these days for SSRI induced insomnia. Try taking only half, or even a quarter the first night if that makes it easier for you.


One thing they talk to me about was coming up with coping skills which right now I don't have.

Is therapy an option? If it is then CBT, REBT, mindfulness would be worth pursuing.

[Chrysmar09]

Day 16: the depression is bad. The anxiety is bad too. I started having better sleep around day 11 and 12 but these past couple of days I've been feeling so down. Last night I had a bad panic attack over a personal family issue and now Im laying in bed still feeling the effects of it. I want to quit. I won't but I want to. I'm sad as hell and tired too. If I don't sleep the random thoughts get worse. My anxiety is worse too. I'm only on 10mg and I feel bad. I'm scared to go up to 20mg. If feels like it works but then it stops when it's morning time. I take it in the afternoon. Add on my health anxiety is really bad and yeah I'm not doing good. I'm trying to give it time but I thought I'd be better by now 😔

[panic_down_under]

Day 16: the depression is bad. The anxiety is bad too. I started having better sleep around day 11 and 12 but these past couple of days I've been feeling so down. Last night I had a bad panic attack over a personal family issue and now Im laying in bed still feeling the effects of it. I want to quit. I won't but I want to. I'm sad as hell and tired too. If I don't sleep the random thoughts get worse. My anxiety is worse too. I'm only on 10mg and I feel bad. I'm scared to go up to 20mg. If feels like it works but then it stops when it's morning time. I take it in the afternoon. Add on my health anxiety is really bad and yeah I'm not doing good.

Unfortunately, ADs often make anxiety and depression worse at the beginning. There is no way of preventing this, but treating the symptoms helps so please talk to your doctor about what you're experiencing as most side-effects can be eased. Remaining on 10mg for extended periods won't help, either in treating the disorder, or in preventing any increase in side-effects after raising the dose to 20mg.


I'm trying to give it time but I thought I'd be better by now 😔

Unfortunately, it usually takes 4-12 weeks for an AD to kick-in. It typically takes about 7 weeks for new brain cells to grow and reach maturity, though some improvement may begin a few weeks earlier. Because of the long fluoxetine half-life it tends to do so at the upper end of the range, plus 10mg probably won't be high enough to initiate and sustain the neurogenesis process.

[AntsyVee]

How's it going, Chrys?

[Chrysmar09]

I'm on day 23 today. The depression isn't as bad and I'm noticing I'm moving around more and getting up and cleaning but I still have anxious times. It isn't as constant. More like it will pop up and then fades after a few minutes. I do feel like I have more calm moments than anxious but I still feel numb or disconnected or brain fog. It's a slow slow process. I have to remember that it takes time to feel normalcy again. My psychiatrist tells me that it I'm having glimspes of calm and acting like myself then it's starting to work. Let's hope that's true