Flying to UK for wedding… scared!

[Twisted-Melody]

I’m unsure which forum this is best suited to. I have GAD and social anxiety AND health anxiety (mostly covid related right now). There’s a friend’s wedding at the end of the month and I’d really like to go (my husband is best man), but I’ve been mostly inside since March 2020 since I work at home and am disabled. The thought of flying, going through the airport, staying at hotels, seeing family is scary enough, never mind the wedding! Because UK has opened everything up and says masks aren’t needed, I’m convinced I’ll catch covid. Right now, I’ve had 1 pfizer jab. I’m due my next one 2 weeks before the trip… it’s really close to the wire.

i wish I had more time to adjust. I’m trying to get myself out there now, seeing friends and catching up on doctors appointments, but I don’t feel ready to eat at a restaurant until I’m double jabbed. Not sure how I’m going to cope with a wedding! My anxiety manifests as IBS, and I’m certain my social anxiety will be so bad (since I’m so out of practice) that I’ll get an attack and have to leave the venue to rest.

I’d talk to my therapist about this but she is currently on vacation so I have to make the decision ASAP of whether or not to go :unsure: It came up the last time I spoke to her and it seemed like she really wanted me to go. I want to have fun and forget all these worries, but they’re all at the front of my mind. I’ve worked so hard this last year I could really use a break and getting out of the house… My mind tells me all these things but my heart just doesn’t believe it :weep:


I continue to wear my mask outside of my house, but besides the wedding ceremony, it appears the whole event will be maskless (my friends have expressed annoyance that they have to wear masks during the ceremony). I think a big part of my fear is differences of attitudes between UK and Germany. To me, it seems like the UK is a plague island (sorry). I don’t believe the UK covid numbers right now either as I don’t trust the UK government. Hard to believe the numbers would go down since july 19th. There is also pressure from my husband since he is best man. He was able to be fully vaccinated earlier than me, so he’s feeling more ready to do the trip and go and see people. I don’t want to hold him back anymore but I’ll be scared he’ll catch covid if he goes.

i feel so stuck :weep:

[Pamplemousse]

I'd stay away from the UK if I were you. You're not the only German resident I know of that calls the UK a "plague island".

[.Poppy.]

I don't really have any good advice, but I can totally sympathize. I am currently going through a major covid anxiety scare after seeing friends this past weekend, and I have a friend getting married in a couple of weeks. I am a bridesmaid so there's not really an option to back out and not go, and I'm sure there will be absolutely no masks there. I am vaccinated, but that doesn't seem to help my anxiety at all.

I would say do what makes you comfortable. If you go and spend the entire time miserable and the next few weeks afraid of having gotten sick, that's no way to be - trust me.

[Catkins]

Where abouts are you coming to? There are quite different infection levels around the country. Also where I am you still see more people with masks than without inside.

Also regarding the travel. My brother and sister-in-law lived in Germany a long time and my sister-in-law had serious issues with flying so they would often drive over. This would greatly reduce the risk of picking it up on the plane or public transport.

Plus you'll have had both jabs by the time you come over.

Honestly, I don't work for the tourist board! And I do completely understand your opinion of the British government.

[Pamplemousse]

Also regarding the travel. My brother and sister-in-law lived in Germany a long time and my sister-in-law had serious issues with flying so they would often drive over. This would greatly reduce the risk of picking it up on the plane or public transport.

I certainly wouldn't do it now, but a little over 20 years ago I drove from Munich to East Anglia in a day, and avoided Stuttgart on my friend's recommendation!

[Catkins]

I certainly wouldn't do it now, but a little over 20 years ago I drove from Munich to East Anglia in a day, and avoided Stuttgart on my friend's recommendation!

It's definitely a long journey personally I would find it tough in one stretch - I would definitely break it up. They found it not too bad though.

[pulisa]

Personally I would stay put and let your husband go. It's just not worth it and we ARE a plague island.

[Twisted-Melody]

Good advice. I know if I don’t go, I’ll also be pretty miserable. Really can’t decide which is the lesser of the evils.

[Twisted-Melody]

I’m going to NW UK which I hear is pretty bad. As for driving, we’ve done that in the past but we have to stop overnight as it’s too much to do in a day. But the bigger issue is requiring a covid test in france by a french doctor. The UK only last week recognised vaccinations from EU and US so before that we had to quarantine 10days on arrival, which was longer than our trip. I’m unsure if there’s testing at the Euro tunnel... but my biggest fear is the wedding tbh :(

[pulisa]

Do you actually want to go to the wedding because if you really do then you will prioritise that over any covid risk?

If you didn't go how long do you think you would be miserable for? Tbh I don't think you would be criticised for not going because it's certainly not easy travelling to a different country now. Is your husband putting pressure on you?

[meltedchic]

How about attending the wedding via online thru skype maybe? Let the couples know ahead of time that you couldn't attend their wedding because of COVID so they would have enough time to replace your husband as best man.

[elizabethalice]

Honestly? I wouldn't recommend it. I have 3 friends who have recently caught covid from weddings in the UK. I'm currently isolating after being in contact with one of them! It's still spreading like wildfire here. Can you go to it online instead?

[Twisted-Melody]

Honestly? I wouldn't recommend it. I have 3 friends who have recently caught covid from weddings in the UK. I'm currently isolating after being in contact with one of them! It's still spreading like wildfire here. Can you go to it online instead?

Oh dear, were they big weddings? This one has 20 people so it’s quite small, but a sit down meal inside and then a house party afterwards (with no regulations). I think I just don’t trust that a lot of people in UK are still taking this seriously. I can’t imagine sitting close to someone as I haven’t done it since March 2020 :( I wish I wasn’t so scared.

My husband isn’t exactly pressuring ME to go, but he wants to go and leave me behind. I don’t mind this, it seems like the best solution, but I’m worried for him and long covid - it isn’t clear yet if vaccinated people get long covid, but as I am disabled, I really don’t want either of us to have another condition we could have avoided. It’s tough because I feel like I’ve caged him long enough. He’s been anxious about covid too and been very safe, but I think he’s fed up on it now and wants to take the plunge. I just don’t think I can follow yet.

[Catkins]

I think you've got to do it when you feel the time is right. Locally here we have an organisation that is running a course to help people start living more normal lives - so many people have found it hard with the restrictions lifted. There might be something similar over there?

I will say that the majority of people who were maskless when I went to the supermarket yesterday were holiday makers. Maybe Covid can spot someone who's on holiday and avoid them?

[Lencoboy]

Why are you so scared? Vaccinated people have significantly better coronavirus resistance, so even if you caught covid, it's not a big deal. If you aren't vaccinated - you should be afraid of your home city as well. Attending the wedding online thru skype even sounds lame.

We all have reason to be more cautious right now with the recent discovery of the Omicron variant that has originated from South Africa, even if it doesn't eventually pan out to be quite as bad as currently feared.

Though of course, it's the proverbial 'fear of the unknown', so completely justified in the meantime until further notice.

But compared to August when this thread was first created, the UK is no longer the worst-hit in Europe, as far as Germany in particular is concerned they're pretty much Even Stephens with us right now.