Anthony888
07-08-21, 03:26
I will preface this by saying I have been dealing with health anxiety for probably about 7-8 years or so. I have been to countless doctors for various issues, undergone multiple tests constantly seeking reassurance, etc…it has been one thing after the other and it is exhausting as most here know. I have tried cognitive behavioral therapy for about 8 sessions and it helped a bit. My skin has always been an area of concern (obviously because I can see it), and also because I am very fair skinned and stupidly used tanning beds now and then in my early 20’s (I am now 33). I go to the dermatologist several times a year, always worried about a new mole or this or that, but everything has always checked out ok. Recently, I have been getting random tiny red flat bruises (not cherry angiomas, I have a bunch of those). But these red marks will pop up in random places, mostly my back, underside of forearms, sometimes chest, thighs, but usually only one to two or three at a time and then fade after a bit. When I’ve had one or two and been at the derm he says “oh it’s a vascular thing, just blood leaking under the skin”. After googling my panic set in and I was convinced I had a blood disorder, leukemia, etc….the worst things possible. I immediately made an appointment for a full blood workup with my immunologist who tested for everything, CBC, liver function, ANA, ESR, amongst other things (he is very thorough). Waiting for the results was one of the worst weeks of my life. I was in a major depression, constant intrusive thoughts, fear of leaving behind my pregnant wife and two year old son. It pushed me to seeking a psychiatrist and starting on medication for the first time in my life dealing with this. Everything came back perfectly fine. It was obviously a relief. I’m currently on week 3 of fluvoxamine. I have felt no different so far…still feel worried about things just in general and am hoping the medication helps soon; however I am still getting these petechiae spots popping up randomly. My mind runs away with itself. I jump to the worst. What if I got the blood done too soon (it was literally 3 weeks ago), what if I need it done again, what if they’re missing something, etc. Maybe it is worth noting I just received the second dose of COVID vaccine and had a high fever, was very hot and achy and then woke up the following day with some petichae (I know I’m late to the party but that was something else making me very very anxious for quite some time and a whole nother convo lol) The rational part of me tells me to leave it alone and move on with my life and continue treatment for my anxiety. The anxious person that I am unfortunately all to familiar with, wants to seek more reassurance about these darn red spots…but I just don’t know what to do. My wife is at her wits end with me. She has been dealing with me in a constant state of worry, testing, doctors, etc. for so long. I’m hitting rock bottom here. Just looking for some input. I appreciate you all. Thank you.