Hello again and - sorry - can I whinge?

[claireypoo]

Hi everyone!

I haven't been here for a while but for those of you that remember me I had some anxiety issues (mainly health - though I would worry about everything!!!) it got worse when I lost a friend of mine suddenly due to a brain hem last December :(

My worries stemmed mostly from stress - my gorgeous little daughter (6) has significant disabilities following being starved of oxygen at birth, and was very poorly last year - which meant I didn't get a lot of sleep which added to it quite a lot!!!

Anyway, I had a course of REBT back in January and read every book about anx I could get my hands on and felt better than I have done in ages! I came off my anti depressants... I even ran a mini marathon... And I gave up smoking! I couldn't believe how easy it was!!!

All great!

Then.... my mother in law got breast cancer in June, my father (59) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in July, my grandma died in September and my husband's nan passed away last week.

I didn't have recurrence of the kind of anxiety I'd had previously, all through this (even though I thought I would) I became my father's power of attorney and sorted out his finances, carried on with our medical negligence court case and carried on with our legal fight with the local authority regarding my daughter's school transport (they suddenly decided to stop giving the children any medication/ oxygen on the mini-buses)

Two days ago I had my first cigarette since quitting - now i'm smoking 5 a day. :( well....

I have been ok anx-wise right up until lunchtime today...

I heard the news on radio 1 and it was about liver problems and BANG i started freaking about my liver (i have had waist/ flank pains recently and my lower rib cage hurts) then I worried about my heart, my brain... you name it and I've been really anxy since - wobbly legs, throbby heart, cold clammy hands, chest discomfort, feelings of terror (well, you all know what anx is like!).:frown:

Thanks to the CBT - I know what it is - what it's from and that it will pass if I let it... but I just want to say POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!(sorry)

Phew thats better.

Sorry for this long, whiny and self-indulgent whine-fest!!!!!! Just had to vent a bit!!! (lot)

Anyway I hope you are all feeling ok :)

Claireypoo

[bottleblond]

Hiya Claire

it's absolutely no wonder you are feeling pretty crap at the moment. That's a hell of a lot to deal with in such a short space of time. You don't seem to have been able to recover from one situation but WHAM you have been right back in another. I kow things must be pretty hectic for you and your family at the moment, but just remember to take time out for YOU!! look after yourself gal.


Love Lisa
xxxx :flowers:

[claireypoo]

Thanks :) It has been pretty hectic! As Claire Weekes would prob say I'm depleted and tired - (i've been awake now for 41 hours - my daughter is on a lively one at the mo!) and that's why the anx symptoms are back... I'm going to have a nice bath and re-read "The Worry Cure" (which is a fantastic book btw! I had hours of fun establishing my personal worry profile!!!) and then try to sleep and re-charge my batteries a bit!
Thanks for your reply - it's so nice to vent to people who "get" what anx is like!
Claireypoo x

[AmandaG]

Hi Claire,
Sorry to hear your family has had such a bad time recently. You've done so well to come through so much on top of looking after your daughter without being hit by anxiety sooner :hugs:
I hope you can get some quality sleep, it can make huge difference!
Take care x
Amanda

[Lilith1980]

One of the things I read in a CBT book is that just because you may have a minor relapse, it doesn't mean that the whole process has been wasted and you have to start again. You just need to get back on the saddle and continue with your self-help.

That's not to say you have to "get on with it" because after the recent events in your life its no wonder the wind has been taken out of your sails. Just try not to be too hard on yourself for relapsing, you have recognised the signs and the triggers of the anxiety, you know it will pass, so you just have to try and ride it out without it causing you too much discomfort.

I know I have said "just get back on the saddle.." and "just try and ride it out" because I know its never that straightforward but I hope you get what I am trying to say ;)

Make sure you take care of yourself as well as those around you :) xx

[Granny Primark]

Hi claire,
My goodness youve had a lot cope with recently.
Make certain you take some time out for you so that you can recharge your batteries.
Hope things start improving for you very soon.

Lots of love
LYNN xx