View Full Version : Major Struggles
Sorry for posting again, I am just struggling so hard. I hope this is in the right forum. I am starting to take meds again hoping they help but probably have increased anxiety because of staring too, I don’t know. I’m currently struggling with the following symptoms:
Scratchy throat/slight cough
Tense/painful jaw that pops when I open my mouth
Tense muscles in my arms and when I tighten them (like putting them above my head) there are some throbs/twitches in my muscles
Occasionally feel like it’s hard to talk/enunciate words properly
I am afraid of covid, my last test was negative but I have a wedding this weekend that is sure to make me spiral again. I am also currently afraid of rabies, especially with my arms and jaw (lockjaw). I am afraid I caught it months ago and it’s been dormant and now I’m getting sick.
I am doing my best to not Google because I know that won’t help but I’m also thinking if I could find information that convinced me that I don't have something bad like rabies I will be calmer.
My jaw is feeling a bit better today, is that a good sign? I know I grind my teeth but I’ve done so for years and have never had this pain before.
It’s hard because I feel like if I don’t go running to the doctor I am going to die, but I also know they are going to think I am crazy. I don’t know what to do. I had been doing so well, I can’t believe I am in this headspace again.
It could well be TMJ, Poppy? Painful but completely benign.
Health anxiety is horrible isn't it? No need to apologise for posting.
Easier said than done, however you should try and relax and see if this improves your symptoms. Try to find logical arguments for common, non serious reasons for your symptoms.
Remember if you are worried, then why not call a doctor? If possible try and visit the same doctor each time so that they get to know you.
Pulisa, I’ve never had TMJ like this, but it’s certainly possible as often as I grind my teeth.
I had an awesome doctor who knew me well but unfortunately he retired. I am getting started with a new doc, and honestly should go back to a psychiatrist sometime soon. I was doing so well, I hate that I’m back in this rut again.
You're terrified of Covid and have had to go through a lot of challenges recently. It's not surprising that you're having a blip, Poppy. I think you should give yourself credit for all the pressure that you're under, not hate yourself for being quite naturally very anxious. You've got all the responsibilities and fears of being a bridesmaid coming up...It's going to take its toll on your mental health.
I am doing my best to not Google because I know that won’t help but I’m also thinking if I could find information that convinced me that I don't have something bad like rabies I will be calmer.
HA doesn't work that way. Your HA mind will home in on what it wants to feed on - totally bypassing what you need to see. What you have to try and do is to understand health anxiety as a disorder and the fight or flight response as the physical response to what's real and also what's imagined.
Anxiety creates very real symptoms which feed into our imagined diseases and anxious people tense certain parts of their bodies. The jaw is one of my areas and it's a very common one. Nothing you've said makes me think anything but anxiety. Even the scratchy throat - because our mouths/throats can get very dry with the fight or flight response...
You're not crazy.
Sounds like symptoms of Mild Stroke. Its good you didn't google about it since it will distort your peace of mind but, better consult a Doctor for proper medication. Remember, prevention at the early stage is better than cure.
I'm sure you mean well,Solarbind but this advice won't help Poppy deal with her anxiety.
Sounds like symptoms of Mild Stroke. Its good you didn't google about it since it will distort your peace of mind but, better consult a Doctor for proper medication. Remember, prevention at the early stage is better than cure.
What!? Which symptom in particular; stroke didn't even cross my mind? Especially as it's been days of this?
My anxiety definitely isn't great; I'm afraid of the most random things and I have this wedding coming up which I really want to be excited for but is just another stressor. I also have work stress - I need to go into a different career but am not sure which direction to take; I am also the sole member of my office that is expected to go back in September 5 days a week, everyone else has remote work options.
I'm trying to relax a bit; I also had some money on a gift card so treated myself to a new pair of shoes and watch band - a bit of retail therapy I guess :). I just really need to move through this and figure things out, preferably without dying of something in the meantime.
Ignore the stroke reference, Poppy? You know the score deep down. Too many stressors all add up to physical symptoms of anxiety.
Glad you managed to treat yourself though..You need to do more stuff just for yourself and not to please others..
What!? Which symptom in particular; stroke didn't even cross my mind? Especially as it's been days of this?
Pay no attention to Solarbind. It was an idiotic comment to be making to someone who clearly has health anxiety!
Sorry for posting again, I am just struggling so hard. I hope this is in the right forum. I am starting to take meds again hoping they help but probably have increased anxiety because of staring too, I don’t know. I’m currently struggling with the following symptoms:
Scratchy throat/slight cough
Tense/painful jaw that pops when I open my mouth
Tense muscles in my arms and when I tighten them (like putting them above my head) there are some throbs/twitches in my muscles
Occasionally feel like it’s hard to talk/enunciate words properly
I am afraid of covid, my last test was negative but I have a wedding this weekend that is sure to make me spiral again. I am also currently afraid of rabies, especially with my arms and jaw (lockjaw). I am afraid I caught it months ago and it’s been dormant and now I’m getting sick.
I am doing my best to not Google because I know that won’t help but I’m also thinking if I could find information that convinced me that I don't have something bad like rabies I will be calmer.
My jaw is feeling a bit better today, is that a good sign? I know I grind my teeth but I’ve done so for years and have never had this pain before.
It’s hard because I feel like if I don’t go running to the doctor I am going to die, but I also know they are going to think I am crazy. I don’t know what to do. I had been doing so well, I can’t believe I am in this headspace again.
I sympathise because catching rabies is my No 1 health fear as well. Nevertheless, it's extremely unlikely that you've got it unless you live in a part of the world where it's endemic, such as the Philippines, and have been bitten by a rabid dog.
[I see you're in the US. I've just googled for "Rabies in the US" and there are typically three cases a year or fewer, and that is out of a population of 320 million. So I think the chances of your having the disease are so low that you can safely dismiss them.]
Sounds like symptoms of Mild Stroke. Its good you didn't google about it since it will distort your peace of mind but, better consult a Doctor for proper medication. Remember, prevention at the early stage is better than cure.
You’re an idiot.
It sounds like muscle tension to me. I have had all of those symptoms numerous times. At least I can now identify when I am clenching my jaw or tensing other muscles in my body and make myself relax them.
Thank you, all of you. I’m doing a bit better, telling myself if it were super serious it wouldn’t have continued for over a week without getting much worse.
My jaw is definitely uncomfortable, I can’t put my back teeth together at all. I am overdue for a teeth cleaning, so maybe I can make an appointment and ask my dentist. Would that be the right person to ask? I have a mouth guard and have started wearing that at night but I can’t grind my teeth anyway as they won’t go together, lol. I just need to find a way to move through this stressful season.
I'd certainly get your dentist to do a TMJ assessment and I think swajj is right with the general muscle tension pain suggestion. You've certainly been under the cosh recently and now your muscles are complaining!
Yes, I've definitely messed my jaw up. As much as I grind my teeth it was really a matter of time, but hopefully the dentist can provide some insight.
I'm having a rough day today as I had a migraine last night (common for me, but hard to not worry about sinister reasons) and I have pain in my chest/back today. I know, logically, it is costocondritis as I've had this many times before and when I press on my ribs they are painful. I'm just trying to not let my head go to a laundry list of bad reasons.
Stick to the logical reasons, Poppy? Your HA will be looking for the worst case scenario as you know!
MyNameIsTerry
13-08-21, 06:03
Poppy, have a read of this thread. My dentist spotted my night grinding from seeing my back teeth and feeling my jaw muscles:
https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?166483-clenching-jaw-so-much
The exercise (in that thread) he gave did help. Your muscles will be enlarged, hence being unable to clamp your teeth properly, so the stretching does help. Ultimately bringing down anxiety is the most important since that's the real cause, as can be ramp up side effects from meds (I never had grinding until I started a med that had me bouncing off the walls), but you can ease it.
Do you find it hard to fully open your mouth too? I did.
Like pulisa says look to the most obvious. You've had a rough time lately, restarted meds and along comes new or increased symptoms. That's just anxiety doing it's thing, as horrible as it is. Your anxiety is just alerting you to possible danger and you are sensitive to health related triggers. You have programmed things into your subconscious to see this and cause more panic. But it's not in charge, you are. The executive brain makes the decisions and dismisses the nonsense. It's horrible and hard but you can brings things back down and stop the inner ape throwing it's poo at the bars.
Thank you Terry, I will try those exercises.
I slept with a heating pad on my chest last night but had to move it to my neck mid-night as I could feel my neck being sore. This is something that happens to me occasionally when I sleep funny or on a bad pillow, the bummer is it usually turns into a headache. So stress + jaw issues + bad sleep means I have a headache today, which really sucks as I have a rehearsal dinner tonight. I'm off work soon so I think I may try and nap quickly and see if it helps.
Chest pain is definitely on my right side more today and is painful to touch, which really just proves that its costo. Unfortunate, but thankfully not scary.
I went to the rehearsal dinner and honestly? I had fun while I was there. I got to see friends I don’t see very often and it was a pleasant time. But of course upon leaving I was like “what if I got Covid?” And I know I’m going to have the same thoughts tomorrow. It’s hard too because I’m even afraid of things that aren’t Covid - like what if my immune system is so bad now that I get sick with something else, like the flu or meningitis.
I am repeating to myself that this is anxiety, and constantly telling myself that each symptom is something I’ve had before and it was anxiety. But I honestly think I will be happier when I can go back and hide from Covid when this is over, which is so sad to me.
Sorry to keep posting, but it’s kind of cathartic to me.
We had the getting ready, the wedding, and now it’s time for the reception. I feel like I have to stay relatively late but I don’t know how late I actually will - I am tired, throat is scratchy, and I am just over the top afraid of catching something. I guess at this point I’ve been exposed so it might not matter but I keep thinking how this is surely a super spreader event and that I and my parents are all going to get sick.
glassgirlw
14-08-21, 22:47
So I’ve been like you thru much of this pandemic - extremely cautious of avoiding any events or places where I might contract covid. I’ve finally realized that I have taken all the precautions I can (double vaxxed, mask in crowds, etc) and at some point we all have to get back to our lives. It’s up to each of us to find the level of risk we are comfortable with and then go from there! I totally get your concern though.
Yeah, I think my real issue is that I’m not comfortable at all and don’t really have much of an option. If there were less people or it were outside or people were wearing masks it might be different. I may even feel better if I could wear a mask. It also don’t help that my mouth hurts so much that eating gave me a migraine.
glassgirlw
15-08-21, 02:46
I absolutely would be nervous at a large wedding - with or without masks. I 100% get where you’re coming from so you for sure have my sympathies there. Shoot, I was at a family gathering tonight ( I have a huge family, there were at least 30 people there lol) but we were mostly outside, and all vaccinated. So I just have to hope for the best I guess. I hope you can get some rest and try to destress later!
I think you have done incredibly well to get through the wedding and even taken on the responsibility of being a bridesmaid despite your fears. That's true courage and you should give yourself huge credit, Poppy. You could have opted out but didn't. ....You've faced up to your fears.
I'm sure you will be exhausted post-wedding and will be focusing on any potential symptoms in the coming days but you can't change anything and just have to carry on as normal if you can? It's easy for me to say this but for the sake of your mental health it's best to stick to your normal routine and try and limit your body scanning by keeping occupied.
You have done so well and I do so hope that in a few days you will be able to relax properly.
Thank you, both of you. It’s sad because aside from my headache and major fear of getting sick, it was a really fun time. If I could have removed both of those things it would have been perfect.
I have a bit of a sore throat today and am super tired, but that’s not surprising. I’m trying to relax and get plenty of sleep. I’m going to go ahead and get tested at my campus on either Tuesday or Wednesday, because it’s free and would be good for peace of mind. Until then I’m sure I’ll be symptom scanning but hopefully can get through without too much trouble.
EDIT: I’ve realized too that it’s a new feeling for me to be afraid of this kind of illness - mostly with my HA I’ve feared things like MS or cancer and welcomed being sick in a way that was super tangible - instead of trying to describe feeling weird or shaky to a doc, a fever and sore throat kind of speak for themselves and are easy to diagnose and usually easy to treat. Also easy to talk about with friends/family. So to be afraid of those things is new and conflicting to me.
I can very much understand that, Poppy. Who would have thought that common cold symptoms could provoke such fear before this pandemic? You certainly won't be alone in fearing Covid though and I'm sure demand for therapy will be huge. Not that this is any consolation for you of course.
Get your test when you think it's the most appropriate day and rest as much as you can today? At least the wedding is over now and not hanging over you. I'm glad you were able to have some enjoyment whilst there..Life can still be fun and should be when you're young like you!
Yeah, it's the worst. I called and got an appointment for tomorrow morning which I hope isn't too soon, but I definitely have a sore throat and a little cough so if those are b/c of covid then the test will say that, otherwise they are something else and I can relax a bit. At least that's what I'm telling myself. Now the anxiety of getting the test and the results, but hopefully negative like last time.
I relaxed a lot yesterday; have some work to do today but hopefully can relax a bit when done. I feel a bit cruddy aside from my throat but that could very well be anxiety too.
You're on the lookout for suspicious symptoms so anxiety could well be part of this if not all. The test should be definitive though and you've not got long to wait now.
MyNameIsTerry
17-08-21, 06:45
Didn't you have throat problems after the trip and tested negative? So did that go? And maybe these are just reoccurring anxiety symptoms?
I did, but just kind of irritation. It’s definitely sore now. I just got swabbed and the doctor said that my throat is red and my lymph nodes up a bit, but all of my other vitals look good so if it’s not covid it’s definitely a cold. And it’s totally possible I picked up a cold there. I’m just (VERY nervously) waiting for my results.
EDIT: my test was negative. Doc said it was probably a cold or some other virus but then of course as I was leaving said that I should just watch my symptoms because he has known others who test negative, start feeling poorly, and then test positive.
Of course that doesn’t make me feel better! But I’m trying to tell myself that I already feel kind of crummy so if it was because of covid surely it would have been positive?
MyNameIsTerry
18-08-21, 06:12
The doctor is just trying to be careful and do the best for you but HA is going to see that as a possibility to exploit. Try not to pay those thoughts attention.
Lymph nodes are just doing their usual thing and other than doctors it's probably only HAers that notice them.
It's chicken soup time! :yesyes:
Thanks Terry. It’s funny, I’m not worried about the nodes - I’m definitely sick with something so no surprise they’d be up a bit. I more zeroed in on the idea that I could still have covid even with a negative test. I’m feeling a bit more crummy today - a lot more drainage. But I shall try to take it easy and keep telling myself I had these symptoms yesterday, if they were covid it would have showed that; so it’s just a cold. Now though I need to get myself to stop smelling everything and trying to decide if it smells right or as strongly as it should :wacko:
Trouble is that there's no such thing as "just a cold" now when you have covid anxiety..
Are you going to get tested again, Poppy? I'm not suggesting you should unless you have to go to work?
I am trying to be somewhat logical in that there are still other viruses out there and I absolutely could just have one of those. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely something playing on my mind
I don’t know, I honestly am not sure how often I need to get tested in order to feel more secure in the results. There is a drive up site that is open tomorrow that I could go to, and as my symptoms are a little more intense today that might be a good indicator? But if I had them yesterday too surely if they were covid related it would have been positive?
I don’t physically have to go back to work until the 30th and will hopefully be better then. I am going to call out sick today and hopefully will get to rest and feel better tomorrow.
I'm sure I read somewhere that because we've all spent so much time away from others and masked up when we're with others, now that we are seeing more people there is a chance we might pick up more snuffles/colds/viruses that aren't Covid. I've been sneezing today which was quite a surprise as I can't remember doing it for ages.
Catkins, I think you're right. I was feeling a bit better today, but have awful pain around my eyes/cheekbones so definitely have something in my sinuses. I have to refill a script today so will probably try to get some sort of OTC sinus pain relief and see if that helps, but I can still taste and smell, no fever, less of a cough and sore throat so I really think this is not covid and is something else entirely, which does make me feel a bit better. Well, it would if my face pain would go away :roflmao:
MyNameIsTerry
20-08-21, 07:02
I read that too, Catkins. By hiding away our immune systems haven't been exposed to the normal everyday nasties that float around.
Workplaces everywhere will be braced for the volume of sick days due to man flu :winks:
I’m still struggling a bit today. I took otc sinus medication and it seemed to help, but was coughing a lot more yesterday and still this morning, mainly when I move. It’s not a productive cough. I’m not worried about covid anymore, but yesterday I was worried about ending up with bronchitis or pneumonia; today I somehow got the thought in my head that it’s my heart.
But, the doctor checked me out on Tuesday and my heart/lungs sounded good and all my vitals were normal. Surely if there were a heart issue it would have been apparent? If I’m still coughing next week I may go to my regular doc for a check just to be sure all still sounds good but I’m trying not to worry in the meantime. I woke up this morning and everything hurt, I think I must have slept with my muscles tight all night long.
So, I totally hate covid. I called my regular doctor in hopes that I could get in; I know I don't have covid but I can't shake this cough and I just wanted to make sure it wasn't bronchitis and just mention my rib pain. Well, because I have a cough and covid is a problem I can't actually go in until after I do a telehealth appointment, and I'm not sure if I'll go in at all; last year I had similar symptoms and he just prescribed an antibiotic over the phone. Which is okay, I just really would have preferred an in-person look, if that makes sense? I guess I'll just see how it goes.
EDIT: So doc said it sounds like a summer cold or bronchitis. I mentioned that my ribs were painful but he didn't seem alarmed. He prescribed me some cough medicine for both the daytime and some to take a night. He did say that I could come in and he could have a listen but I didn't want to jump to that (maybe stupid of me?) so I said that I'd leave that on the table for later this week if I was still having problems.
My cough is still present, but it’s not at all a productive cough which concerns me. My ribs still hurt, sometimes they are tender when I press on them but other times not. Sometimes my chest hurts when I take a breath but that could be the ribs.
Part of me thinks I’d feel better if I went in and had him listen to my lungs and heart and let me know it’s all okay, that it’s just costo so that I could deal with that instead of the what if. But the other part of me is concerned - partially that it’s just a cold and he thinks I’m crazy for going in or else that it is something serious and he thinks I’m crazy for waiting.
If that’s what will reassure you then go and let the doctor listen to your heart and lungs. From my own experience you are going to keep wishing you did that anyway.
You realise the chest/rib pain is probably a side effect of the coughing? When I have a persistent cough I usually get various aches pains as a side effect - a real pain in the backside (not literally).
Yeah, it could be a byproduct of the cough. Stress likely doesn’t help either as there is tension with that too. But the cough medicine he gave me doesn’t seem to be working and if I need something else that would be nice to have. And peace of mind of knowing that my lungs are clear and the pain is absolutely muscular would be nice too.
Just wanted to update, I didn’t end up going to the doc. I had a couple of rough days where I swore I’d need to go in but I’m doing better right now (knock on wood!). I’ve been taking Aleve PM at night and a prescription strength Naproxen during the day that my doc originally prescribed for migraines but it seems to be helping the costo a lot.
I will reevaluate at the end of the week, I wish my cough would go but I otherwise feel fine. I feel less anxious too which is nice. Today is my first day back in the office and there is a ton of anxiety with that - worry about covid as well as worry about my dog who is home alone (lots of guilt there too) but so far I’m handling it well.
glassgirlw
31-08-21, 01:50
I don’t know if your cough is productive yet or not but I swear by Mucinex when I have chest congestion. Really helps to loosen it all up and clear it out of there. That and steam tents - boiling water in a pot, towel over your head and inhale the steam I also add a little eucalyptus oil to the pot of water too. Helps loads.
I find topical voltarol helps with costo pain. Avoids the stomach irritation which naproxen may cause.
Glad you are feeling less anxious and that the return to work goes better than you expect.
Thank you, both of you! I'll have to try both. My cough still isn't productive but it's less and with less rib pain I'm less concerned about it.
Return to work has been a mixed bag; I'm usually the only one here or the only one of a couple of people here, which frankly I prefer as one guy is coughing a lot and I hate that. I wear my mask when I can but I can't when I'm on the computer because I get terrible eye strain and have to wear blue light glasses to help with that, which fog up with my mask. Even with the glass I'm still struggling with eye strain stuff. Also dealing with the anxiety of leaving my dog behind, which my neighbor isn't making easy. But I am coping.
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