fleurdelis
18-08-21, 19:34
So, full disclosure, I do have OCD and generally consider my health anxiety a subset of that. However, it didn't really start until after I had a series of collapsed lungs when I was 20. I had surgery to prevent my lung from collapsing again and, barring some relatively minor gynecological issues, was basically okay physically until last week, when I had to have an emergency appendectomy.
At the time I was just relieved it wasn't something worse, but I have been really struggling emotionally in the aftermath. I realize a lot of people go through much worse ordeals with their health, but I also don't personally know anyone else my age (I'm now 32) who has already had surgery for two separate medical emergencies. What really gets me, though, is the fact that literally my only symptom both times was pain. And not even the worst pain I can imagine--maybe like a 7 in both cases, at its very worst. I seriously have had bruised nails from running that rivaled the pain in severity. I had no shortness of breath with my collapsed lungs, and my oxygen levels were always normal. Likewise, with my appendix, I had no fever, nausea, or vomiting. I suppose I knew in both cases that something about the pain was unusual, which was why I ultimately went to the hospital, but I feel like I can't trust my instincts or the advice you always hear about it being obvious when something is really wrong. I literally said "it's not appendicitis" en route to the hospital because I thought I'd be much sicker if it were.
TL;DR How do you learn to trust yourself and trust your body after it's done weird things?
At the time I was just relieved it wasn't something worse, but I have been really struggling emotionally in the aftermath. I realize a lot of people go through much worse ordeals with their health, but I also don't personally know anyone else my age (I'm now 32) who has already had surgery for two separate medical emergencies. What really gets me, though, is the fact that literally my only symptom both times was pain. And not even the worst pain I can imagine--maybe like a 7 in both cases, at its very worst. I seriously have had bruised nails from running that rivaled the pain in severity. I had no shortness of breath with my collapsed lungs, and my oxygen levels were always normal. Likewise, with my appendix, I had no fever, nausea, or vomiting. I suppose I knew in both cases that something about the pain was unusual, which was why I ultimately went to the hospital, but I feel like I can't trust my instincts or the advice you always hear about it being obvious when something is really wrong. I literally said "it's not appendicitis" en route to the hospital because I thought I'd be much sicker if it were.
TL;DR How do you learn to trust yourself and trust your body after it's done weird things?