View Full Version : Not doing very well….
Hi guys. So I’m currently doing my therapy, I’m only one session in but work in progress.
I had my hand on my throat and thought what I felt was a lump, it wasn’t, it was my normal neck. But I actually got that panic fear, I had to rush to the toilet it was that bad.
Now I’m shaking and feeling awful, and I keep poking my neck to make sure.
I had a sickness bug over the weekend which has shot my anxiety up.
I thought I was feeling okay, my breathing thing had totally gone away apart from the odd moment.
Now I’m obsessed with my neck
I think it is normal for people to feel a little worse when they start therapy as you are challenging your fears.
This is easier said than done, however you need to look at this logically.
You have said that it isn't a lump. So now you need to relax and resist the urge to keep checking.
Even if you found a lump, it isn't forced to be anything sinister. You just go to the doctors and get it checked. Why worry until you need to?
I know it is early days in your therapy but try and apply the strategies you have learnt so far. Write down your experience and go over it with your therapist.
When you are panicking take a moment to take some deep breaths and calm down.
I hope you feel better soon.
Hi guys. So I’m currently doing my therapy, I’m only one session in but work in progress.
I had my hand on my throat and thought what I felt was a lump, it wasn’t, it was my normal neck. But I actually got that panic fear, I had to rush to the toilet it was that bad.
You're only one session in. It's not an instant fix..
Now I’m shaking and feeling awful, and I keep poking my neck to make sure.
Not a good idea. Prodding and poking at ourselves equals soreness (obviously) which equals an increase in HA thoughts and anxiety symptoms of the throat (and everywhere else) - and these feed directly into your throat fear because HA is all about making connections which aren't there..
I had a sickness bug over the weekend which has shot my anxiety up.
This is to be expected. This happens to me and I'm in control of my HA. Illness/pain increases my anxiety but I don't add fear/irrationality to the mix - and that's the difference between controlling HA and not.
I thought I was feeling okay, my breathing thing had totally gone away apart from the odd moment.
Keep reminding yourself of this. ^^^^^
Now I’m obsessed with my neck
Discuss this with your therapist next time. You can work out how you could handles this differently. So try and see this as an opportunity to learn?
sheena1946
26-09-21, 18:15
Hi Chlobo
all of us on here fear the big c,including me,however after decades of worry what happens?i Out of the blue i have a stroke,it just goes to show life can throw a huge curve ball,so all the checking in the World did not prepare me for stroke.
Hi Chlobo
all of us on here fear the big c,including me,however after decades of worry what happens?i Out of the blue i have a stroke,it just goes to show life can throw a huge curve ball,so all the checking in the World did not prepare me for stroke.
Hi Sheena, I'm sorry to hear about your health issue, and I hope you're doing Ok? But you might want to consider that this is an anxiety forum and that the OP has severe health anxiety? I've no doubt that your intention was good but maybe you can you see how your comment could be triggering - not only to the OP - but to other HA sufferers on here?
sheena1946
27-09-21, 11:41
Hi Nora,
i fully understand that this is an anxiety site,i have suffered debilitating h/a for more than 40years.I take some of your point on board and i am sorry if the post has caused upset.My point was that we are all in the same boat on here and that poking and prodding our bodies only heightens our fears and keeps worry in the forefront of our minds.
However i am doing ok thank you for asking Nora.
Hi Nora,
i fully understand that this is an anxiety site,i have suffered debilitating h/a for more than 40years.I take some of your point on board and i am sorry if the post has caused upset.My point was that we are all in the same boat on here and that poking and prodding our bodies only heightens our fears and keeps worry in the forefront of our minds.
However i am doing ok thank you for asking Nora.
I didn't think it was a trigger. You're right. You could be the most hyper-vigilant person in the world but shit happens. Heck, you could be lost in your mind thinking about this pain or ache or whatever while crossing the street and get hit by a car for goodness sakes! The constant self-examination just keeps you in the cycle of worry. Take a look at the OP's post history and you'll see this has been an ongoing issue for many years. Add to that some personal life issues she's facing and here you are. It still comes down to taking personal responsibility and actions. No amount of advice/words on a screen can do that. Glad to hear you're doing well.
FMP
Thanks for the replies to my post.
Strokes do worry me, sometimes I get tingles and I feel like my facial muscles are weak or not as reactive. But it is a feeling.
Last night I was lying on my side with my phone in my hand, I’m thinking it was a rather awkward position for my hand to be in, I was holding my wrist and had sort of tense while I was using my thumb to look through social media.
Well my hand just suddenly gave way and dropped. I panicked and lifted my hand and arm to make sure I could move them and I can. Just my arm feels a bit weak. I’m really worried about what happened
I wonder could it of been a nerve? My wrist just sort of gave out. I’m very sensitive to any thought of neurological issues. Fishman could you help with this one?
Fishman could you help with this one?
Sorry....I'm not going to feed your dragon Chlobo. You're really in a rabbit hole and words on a screen won't get you out. It has to come from within you. You've managed to do it for three years before. Go back and start practicing the things you did then.
FMP
sheena1946
30-09-21, 17:29
Thanks FMP,
i wrote what i did to try and stop people checking.Probably 40 years of worry brought on the stroke.As you say sxxt happens i simply did not expect a stroke,
if you had a stroke you would know about it.You are doing what we all do on here jumping from one thing to another you must learn not to do it,no good will come from it.Things will ALLWAYS HAPPEN in life that we do not expect,that is what life is.We cannot see into the future,if we could i would have won the lottery years ago,lol
All the best to you Chlobo.
I feel so so bad. I can’t cope with this anymore. I’m SO scared of cancer and that I’m going to contract it. I keep feeling my body and wondering if what I’m feeling is normal. It’s torture.
How can this ever get better
It's only going to get better if you accept the irrationality of your fears and work on accepting the fundamental uncertainty of life.
It's only going to get better if you accept the irrationality of your fears and work on accepting the fundamental uncertainty of life.
Spinning your wheels here BI :(
FMP
It's only going to get better if you accept the irrationality of your fears and work on accepting the fundamental uncertainty of life.
I don’t feel like it is irrational, I mean so many people get cancer, it’s everywhere and I just feel like I’m waiting for it to catch up with me, and I’ll have a terminal diagnosis which I wouldn’t be able to cope with. I just don’t feel like I can cope with being alive, I’m obsessed with how I’ll die, I go over and over it in my head and it’s going to happen and I can’t escape it. Part of me wishes I had never been born so I didn’t need to fear all of this and experience death. Like everything I love, everything I’ve built and worked for will just become dust, a memory in someone else, and then eventually the memory will die out completely and what then? Just nothing.
I cannot get my mind round it. I keep getting surges of panic and thoughts that say ‘one day you’re gonna die and you can’t escape it’ ‘your body is going to rot away. I’m going to feel that last breath and know that’s it, I just can’t cope
Fair enough. Stay in your hole if that's where you feel most comfortable.
I've been there, and come out and found a better way of living. What would I know, though?
I don’t feel like it is irrational,
You're totally bypassing the fact that not everybody dies from cancer. My mother had cancer and she died several years later cancer free. My BIL has just been successfully treated for bowel cancer and my aunty had BC when she was in her 40s and she died aged 90. That's three human beings who I am related to who had cancer and lived!
and I’ll have a terminal diagnosis which I wouldn’t be able to cope with.
You say that but a lot of people find that they cope better with fact than fiction. With a cancer diagnosis comes a plan and also the opportunity to choose our attitude.
I just don’t feel like I can cope with being alive, I’m obsessed with how I’ll die, I go over and over it in my head and it’s going to happen and I can’t escape it. Part of me wishes I had never been born so I didn’t need to fear all of this and experience death. Like everything I love, everything I’ve built and worked for will just become dust, a memory in someone else, and then eventually the memory will die out completely and what then? Just nothing.
Is this terrified version of yourself how you want to be remembered Chlobo?
I've been every bit as scared as you are now but I dragged myself out of the shithole I was in and that's what I want people to remember about me. That and my sense of humour and great taste in music! :shades:
I cannot get my mind round it. I keep getting surges of panic and thoughts that say ‘one day you’re gonna die and you can’t escape it’ ‘your body is going to rot away. I’m going to feel that last breath and know that’s it, I just can’t cope
You ARE going to die one day. We all are. You, me, everybody. Because death is natural and also necessary for the survival of our species and planet. We're only meant to be here for a short time (in the greater picture) but listen up mate - we fought to be born. Our spermy selves swam like buggery and won the chance to be born and live a life and 'life' means hardship, joy, loss, love, sadness, hate, guilt, happiness, indifference, pleasure and pain. It's all part of the experience. It also means that from the moment we plunge ourselves into our mother's egg we are on a journey and the final destination is death. In-between birth and death is life and while we can't control what happens to us (or when we will die) we do get to control of how we respond to every bit of shit that life throws our way! And at the moment, you're choosing fear..
Try and re-frame your thoughts about death. See the positives because they're there. Learn about how other countries celebrate death?
There are good deaths and most deaths are peaceful and as far as I'm concerned when I die it will be a matter of leaving my knackered body behind but those are just body parts. That's not the sum of 'me'. I believe what's 'me' will go somewhere else because we are energy (as everything on this planet is energy) and energy cannot be destroyed. I believe that I will see my mum, dad, grandparents, aunties and uncles, the two lads from school who showed me kindness, and the soul who never made it past the first trimester of my pregnancy. This comforts me and it makes sense to me. I will be so sad to leave those I love behind but life, to me, is about preparing my kids for life without me and leaving them with some good memories of me but I would be lying if I said that the idea of seeing my parents again didn't soften the blow of death for me.
Death can be sudden or it's a gradual process. I've seen the latter. I've seen someone breathe their last breath but they had slipped into unconsciousness and it was peaceful for them and us. My father-in-law spent two days snoring his head off and he passed away gently as my husband snoozed in the chair beside his hospital bed. What happens afterwards is for our benefit because the soul who has passed has no more use of the body he/she has inhabited for their lifetime. I haven't feared death since I was 12 and got a visit from a grandmother who'd been dead for seven years and even if this is not your belief, you can learn to find comfort in a peaceful ending because you imagine death is going to hurt? But the reality is that death is painless. It's the bit before that can hurt sometimes but even then, we have really great drugs these days!
Death isn't the villain we make it out to be. You can thank television and the movies for 'dramatic' deaths and even when deaths appear to be dramatic to the onlooker, that doesn't mean that the person who is dying is in pain or suffering because our brain's protect us. You imagine that you are going to experience that last breath? But the reality is that you would be unconscious before that happens so you would actually be unaware? I've been unconscious and there was literally no comprehension of anything that was happening to me or around me..
Something I found incredibly helpful (and cathartic) was to plan my own funeral. It's always been a fear that people will give me a funeral that misrepresents who I am (or was) - choosing hymns that I don't like and having some random human being who didn't know me talk about me as if they did? Nah. So I've planned the entire thing. Three tracks (no hymns) no flowers, a wicker casket, and my sons to read excerpts from Matt Haig's 'The Human's. I've chosen the photograph I want to be on display and the quote on the service pamphlet will read, 'And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.' Paul McCartney. And there is a playlist of a trillion tracks which mean something to me for the wake because my funeral will be my goodbye to my family. It has to come from me, and once done it was a weight off my mind and I recommend that people do this..
Chlobo, we're all part of something really quite marvellous. Sure, at times life is a b'stard and nothing seems fair but suffering is transitory and happiness can be found even in the darkest of times. Oh wait, that's Dumbledore? But the wizardly dude knew what he was on about. It's true. My dad was terminally ill but we made some really special memories during those 6 months. My friend took her family around the world when she got her cancer diagnosis. Yes people get cancer, and yes some people die from the disease but that's only part of what's true and it certainly doesn't mean that you will develop cancer!
People get cancer and all kind of illnesses but they survive and even when people do get cancer (or other life threatening diseases) say that their 'cancer diagnosis' or (whatever) gave them the kick up the @rse that they needed in order to START living and some folk pack a lifetime of living into a few months or years. This isn't about longevity or time; this is about making the most of the time we do have - which is this moment. We have this moment and the choice in how we live it is up to us.
Go have a coffee in a lovely cafe. Choose an uplifting book. Walk in nature. Absolutely do that because nature connects us to this planet at soul level. It's good for us. The colour green is calming so it figures that nature will calm us. It's autumn now and when you are seeing nature's awesome colour display, know that what you're seeing is 'death'. Those leaves are dying, right?
I can recommend Matt Haig's books. Mitch Albom. Ruth Hogan. And books about NDE's because it's there that you will learn that death can be so nice that people have to be encouraged to climb back into their broken bodies to come back to Earth.
Reframe death so that it comforts you, rather than scares you..
Accept death as part of life and start to live my friend. Those things that scare the shit out of us need to be faced and it's then that we discover that they're not as scary as our minds had us believe..
sheena1946
07-10-21, 13:59
Chlobo,
read all these posts you will see that you are not alone type in.
no more panic health anxiety suffers.
Sorry I know I’m posting again. My anxiety is really bad at the moment…
I got some food stuck in the roof of my mouth last night and while I was getting it out I noticed that there is an almost hard bone like area in the middle. Is that normal anatomy?
You're totally bypassing the fact that not everybody dies from cancer. My mother had cancer and she died several years later cancer free. My BIL has just been successfully treated for bowel cancer and my aunty had BC when she was in her 40s and she died aged 90. That's three human beings who I am related to who had cancer and lived!
You say that but a lot of people find that they cope better with fact than fiction. With a cancer diagnosis comes a plan and also the opportunity to choose our attitude.
Is this terrified version of yourself how you want to be remembered Chlobo?
I've been every bit as scared as you are now but I dragged myself out of the shithole I was in and that's what I want people to remember about me. That and my sense of humour and great taste in music! :shades:
You ARE going to die one day. We all are. You, me, everybody. Because death is natural and also necessary for the survival of our species and planet. We're only meant to be here for a short time (in the greater picture) but listen up mate - we fought to be born. Our spermy selves swam like buggery and won the chance to be born and live a life and 'life' means hardship, joy, loss, love, sadness, hate, guilt, happiness, indifference, pleasure and pain. It's all part of the experience. It also means that from the moment we plunge ourselves into our mother's egg we are on a journey and the final destination is death. In-between birth and death is life and while we can't control what happens to us (or when we will die) we do get to control of how we respond to every bit of shit that life throws our way! And at the moment, you're choosing fear..
Try and re-frame your thoughts about death. See the positives because they're there. Learn about how other countries celebrate death?
There are good deaths and most deaths are peaceful and as far as I'm concerned when I die it will be a matter of leaving my knackered body behind but those are just body parts. That's not the sum of 'me'. I believe what's 'me' will go somewhere else because we are energy (as everything on this planet is energy) and energy cannot be destroyed. I believe that I will see my mum, dad, grandparents, aunties and uncles, the two lads from school who showed me kindness, and the soul who never made it past the first trimester of my pregnancy. This comforts me and it makes sense to me. I will be so sad to leave those I love behind but life, to me, is about preparing my kids for life without me and leaving them with some good memories of me but I would be lying if I said that the idea of seeing my parents again didn't soften the blow of death for me.
Death can be sudden or it's a gradual process. I've seen the latter. I've seen someone breathe their last breath but they had slipped into unconsciousness and it was peaceful for them and us. My father-in-law spent two days snoring his head off and he passed away gently as my husband snoozed in the chair beside his hospital bed. What happens afterwards is for our benefit because the soul who has passed has no more use of the body he/she has inhabited for their lifetime. I haven't feared death since I was 12 and got a visit from a grandmother who'd been dead for seven years and even if this is not your belief, you can learn to find comfort in a peaceful ending because you imagine death is going to hurt? But the reality is that death is painless. It's the bit before that can hurt sometimes but even then, we have really great drugs these days!
Death isn't the villain we make it out to be. You can thank television and the movies for 'dramatic' deaths and even when deaths appear to be dramatic to the onlooker, that doesn't mean that the person who is dying is in pain or suffering because our brain's protect us. You imagine that you are going to experience that last breath? But the reality is that you would be unconscious before that happens so you would actually be unaware? I've been unconscious and there was literally no comprehension of anything that was happening to me or around me..
Something I found incredibly helpful (and cathartic) was to plan my own funeral. It's always been a fear that people will give me a funeral that misrepresents who I am (or was) - choosing hymns that I don't like and having some random human being who didn't know me talk about me as if they did? Nah. So I've planned the entire thing. Three tracks (no hymns) no flowers, a wicker casket, and my sons to read excerpts from Matt Haig's 'The Human's. I've chosen the photograph I want to be on display and the quote on the service pamphlet will read, 'And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.' Paul McCartney. And there is a playlist of a trillion tracks which mean something to me for the wake because my funeral will be my goodbye to my family. It has to come from me, and once done it was a weight off my mind and I recommend that people do this..
Chlobo, we're all part of something really quite marvellous. Sure, at times life is a b'stard and nothing seems fair but suffering is transitory and happiness can be found even in the darkest of times. Oh wait, that's Dumbledore? But the wizardly dude knew what he was on about. It's true. My dad was terminally ill but we made some really special memories during those 6 months. My friend took her family around the world when she got her cancer diagnosis. Yes people get cancer, and yes some people die from the disease but that's only part of what's true and it certainly doesn't mean that you will develop cancer!
People get cancer and all kind of illnesses but they survive and even when people do get cancer (or other life threatening diseases) say that their 'cancer diagnosis' or (whatever) gave them the kick up the @rse that they needed in order to START living and some folk pack a lifetime of living into a few months or years. This isn't about longevity or time; this is about making the most of the time we do have - which is this moment. We have this moment and the choice in how we live it is up to us.
Go have a coffee in a lovely cafe. Choose an uplifting book. Walk in nature. Absolutely do that because nature connects us to this planet at soul level. It's good for us. The colour green is calming so it figures that nature will calm us. It's autumn now and when you are seeing nature's awesome colour display, know that what you're seeing is 'death'. Those leaves are dying, right?
I can recommend Matt Haig's books. Mitch Albom. Ruth Hogan. And books about NDE's because it's there that you will learn that death can be so nice that people have to be encouraged to climb back into their broken bodies to come back to Earth.
Reframe death so that it comforts you, rather than scares you..
Accept death as part of life and start to live my friend. Those things that scare the shit out of us need to be faced and it's then that we discover that they're not as scary as our minds had us believe..
Thank you. I have read this every day so far.
glassgirlw
09-10-21, 13:00
Yep.
Mine sort of protrudes out a bit in the middle? Is that normal? It isn’t something I can see when I look and shine a light up there.
Maybe go read Nora's post again :whistles:
FMP
nomorepanic
09-10-21, 16:30
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
Thank you. I have read this every day so far.
And it's obviously made no difference at all..
I got some food stuck in the roof of my mouth last night and while I was getting it out I noticed that there is an almost hard bone like area in the middle. Is that normal anatomy?
When we have health anxiety, we notice things. We become hyper-aware of what's going on in our bodies. What you're describing is the perfectly normal palate which is there to separate your mouth from your nasal cavities. It's always been there and up until now hasn't given you any cause for concern, but you have health anxiety and this is all it takes to become obsessed with yet another body part and yet another non-starter illness, disease - or affliction.
This will keep on happening until you learn to challenge those irrational thoughts Chlobo. You just have to be prepared to put the work in and how long this takes will be up to you and how determined you are to be mentally well again.
Readings posts and understanding them are two different things. My post wasn't designed to comfort you; it was intended to encourage you to think differently about death because health anxiety - at the root - is the fear of death or dying. That's why our minds generally go with the diseases that 'could' kill us. The fear is about us 'not being here' or us not being here for those we love. It's about mortality and our own society has helped to nurture these fears by dramatising death and that's because good & peaceful deaths don't make good news stories. It's drama that sells..
Back in the days before internet we only had the news on TV, radio, and papers that you bought from a shop or had delivered by a moody looking paperboy (or girl). These days we have the internet as well - which means that we are constantly bombarded with drama, fake news and general bullshit because this is what catches people's attention and makes them click on those links! And even if you don't click on the link, you've already seen the fearmongering advertisement, right?
Magazines like CHAT? They claim to be 'outrageous' and 'inspirational'? but I fail to see how stories like, 'Why I put Fifi in the freezer', 'STABBED AT KAROKE (had I sang my last song?)' (well obviously not or you wouldn't be writing about it, ya muffin) or, wait for it...'Every parent's nightmare SNATCHED FROM HER BED! Jessica was taken with her teddy bear and never seen again!'. All front page and all aside a smiling model. I mean, wtf? :shrug:
They've nailed the 'outrageous' part for sure, but I'm struggling to see the inspirational? :unsure:
My point is that shit like this sells. It's there for a reason. It grabs people's attention and that's why it's there. If you want to read lots of inspirational stories about death - check out websites like IANDS because those folk did die (for a bit) and came back with lovely stories and no fear of death. Or go and spend an hour or two in a hospice so you can experience that sense of warmth and peacefulness (like I did - which totally obliterated my ideas about hospices being gloomy and sad). The evidence for 'good death' is all around you but your mind is drawn only to what it fears, and that's why you have to work on your thoughts but also your daily choices. You get to choose what you ingest whether that's body or brain. So make good choices?
The other way to work with this is to distract your mind so hobbies or going for walks in nature are all good. Or go out with your friends? Just don't sit in front of a computer or phone screen Googling symptoms or posting on here for constant reassurance. As you can see by your own history - any comfort and reassurance you may achieve from us is temporary. Nothing any of us can say will make any difference to you if you don't make that mental shift to change your situation. Until then, they're just words. You have to decide that you've had enough of HA and you are going to do whatever it takes to gain control back over your own mind. No 'if's' and no 'buts'. No excuses..
I was very mentally unwell with my last bout of HA (2017) and it was when I was at my worst that I experienced the mental shift I'm talking about. I wanted to hear from (and read about) people who were every bit as ill as me but who'd got better. I wanted to know how they dragged themselves out of what seemed to be a never-ending void of fear? This is what I'm doing on this forum now - passing on what I learned during my journey to recovery and If I had to simplify the whole thing into what I believe is the key to recovery from HA - it would be: 'understanding the stress response' 'acceptance' and 'determination'.
Question is, do you want to get better? And how hard are you willing to work for it? Because the easiest thing to do is what you're doing now. It's effortless. It's horrible, but effortless. You just allow those catastrophic thoughts to take over and post on here for reassurance. Effort is when you begin to challenge those thoughts. It's incredibly hard work and it's always going to require effort because beating HA isn't about not ever having those 'what if' thoughts again - it's about how we respond when they do come.
What are you going to do to help yourself today? You can choose to stay as you are (and obsess about your perfectly normal) body parts or you can choose to be proactive. :shrug:
Every time you Google a symptom or read a fearmongering article, you are firing up your stress response (fight or flight) and this creates real symptoms which your HA mind mistakes for diseases. So do something today which will be beneficial to you. Something which will trigger the opposite to the stress response (rest & digest).
What can you do that will make you feel happy today?
And it's obviously made no difference at all..
When we have health anxiety, we notice things. We become hyper-aware of what's going on in our bodies. What you're describing is the perfectly normal palate which is there to separate your mouth from your nasal cavities. It's always been there and up until now hasn't given you any cause for concern, but you have health anxiety and this is all it takes to become obsessed with yet another body part and yet another non-starter illness, disease - or affliction.
This will keep on happening until you learn to challenge those irrational thoughts Chlobo. You just have to be prepared to put the work in and how long this takes will be up to you and how determined you are to be mentally well again.
Readings posts and understanding them are two different things. My post wasn't designed to comfort you; it was intended to encourage you to think differently about death because health anxiety - at the root - is the fear of death or dying. That's why our minds generally go with the diseases that 'could' kill us. The fear is about us 'not being here' or us not being here for those we love. It's about mortality and our own society has helped to nurture these fears by dramatising death and that's because good & peaceful deaths don't make good news stories. It's drama that sells..
Back in the days before internet we only had the news on TV, radio, and papers that you bought from a shop or had delivered by a moody looking paperboy (or girl). These days we have the internet as well - which means that we are constantly bombarded with drama, fake news and general bullshit because this is what catches people's attention and makes them click on those links! And even if you don't click on the link, you've already seen the fearmongering advertisement, right?
Magazines like CHAT? They claim to be 'outrageous' and 'inspirational'? but I fail to see how stories like, 'Why I put Fifi in the freezer', 'STABBED AT KAROKE (had I sang my last song?)' (well obviously not or you wouldn't be writing about it, ya muffin) or, wait for it...'Every parent's nightmare SNATCHED FROM HER BED! Jessica was taken with her teddy bear and never seen again!'. All front page and all aside a smiling model. I mean, wtf? :shrug:
They've nailed the 'outrageous' part for sure, but I'm struggling to see the inspirational? :unsure:
My point is that shit like this sells. It's there for a reason. It grabs people's attention and that's why it's there. If you want to read lots of inspirational stories about death - check out websites like IANDS because those folk did die (for a bit) and came back with lovely stories and no fear of death. Or go and spend an hour or two in a hospice so you can experience that sense of warmth and peacefulness (like I did - which totally obliterated my ideas about hospices being gloomy and sad). The evidence for 'good death' is all around you but your mind is drawn only to what it fears, and that's why you have to work on your thoughts but also your daily choices. You get to choose what you ingest whether that's body or brain. So make good choices?
The other way to work with this is to distract your mind so hobbies or going for walks in nature are all good. Or go out with your friends? Just don't sit in front of a computer or phone screen Googling symptoms or posting on here for constant reassurance. As you can see by your own history - any comfort and reassurance you may achieve from us is temporary. Nothing any of us can say will make any difference to you if you don't make that mental shift to change your situation. Until then, they're just words. You have to decide that you've had enough of HA and you are going to do whatever it takes to gain control back over your own mind. No 'if's' and no 'buts'. No excuses..
I was very mentally unwell with my last bout of HA (2017) and it was when I was at my worst that I experienced the mental shift I'm talking about. I wanted to hear from (and read about) people who were every bit as ill as me but who'd got better. I wanted to know how they dragged themselves out of what seemed to be a never-ending void of fear? This is what I'm doing on this forum now - passing on what I learned during my journey to recovery and If I had to simplify the whole thing into what I believe is the key to recovery from HA - it would be: 'understanding the stress response' 'acceptance' and 'determination'.
Question is, do you want to get better? And how hard are you willing to work for it? Because the easiest thing to do is what you're doing now. It's effortless. It's horrible, but effortless. You just allow those catastrophic thoughts to take over and post on here for reassurance. Effort is when you begin to challenge those thoughts. It's incredibly hard work and it's always going to require effort because beating HA isn't about not ever having those 'what if' thoughts again - it's about how we respond when they do come.
What are you going to do to help yourself today? You can choose to stay as you are (and obsess about your perfectly normal) body parts or you can choose to be proactive. :shrug:
Every time you Google a symptom or read a fearmongering article, you are firing up your stress response (fight or flight) and this creates real symptoms which your HA mind mistakes for diseases. So do something today which will be beneficial to you. Something which will trigger the opposite to the stress response (rest & digest).
What can you do that will make you feel happy today?
I’ve really been trying to stay away from articles and anything triggering, but I just seem to get these random symptoms that send me down a hole regardless. I’ve moved on from my mouth now because I’ve got this numb feeling on a patch above my eyebrow, it’s really odd. I get like a pulling feeling when I move my eyebrow too, it just feels numb and weird. I had my eyebrows waxed on Tuesday and it came on soon after that so I don’t know if it’s related.
I feel completely exhausted as well.
I’ve stopped taking my Citalopram because In the mornings I’m waking up with huge pupils and it scares me. I’m not sure I can cope with that as a side affect.
Today I’ve tried to use distraction but my brain just keeps going in the background, I’ve put some washing away, and tidied up but I can’t help the thoughts of panic sneaking in. It’s everyday at the moment, the uncertainty of everything is just making me worry constantly.
On Sunday I went to a pumpkin patch with my son and we did have a nice day, I tried my hardest to forget the roof of my mouth but now this eyebrow feeling has come on I’ve sort of moved over to worrying about that.
I’ve got some PTSD relating to brain issues as my brother had a brain tumour when I was in my early 20’s. He’s all good now but it was traumatising at the time, and I had the health anxiety anyway so it made it worse. I just want to feel normal, I don’t want my body to keep throwing these weird sensations at me that make me panic, I just want to feel normal. I’m just a constant state of anxiety and worry.
And it's obviously made no difference at all..
When we have health anxiety, we notice things. We become hyper-aware of what's going on in our bodies. What you're describing is the perfectly normal palate which is there to separate your mouth from your nasal cavities. It's always been there and up until now hasn't given you any cause for concern, but you have health anxiety and this is all it takes to become obsessed with yet another body part and yet another non-starter illness, disease - or affliction.
This will keep on happening until you learn to challenge those irrational thoughts Chlobo. You just have to be prepared to put the work in and how long this takes will be up to you and how determined you are to be mentally well again.
Readings posts and understanding them are two different things. My post wasn't designed to comfort you; it was intended to encourage you to think differently about death because health anxiety - at the root - is the fear of death or dying. That's why our minds generally go with the diseases that 'could' kill us. The fear is about us 'not being here' or us not being here for those we love. It's about mortality and our own society has helped to nurture these fears by dramatising death and that's because good & peaceful deaths don't make good news stories. It's drama that sells..
Back in the days before internet we only had the news on TV, radio, and papers that you bought from a shop or had delivered by a moody looking paperboy (or girl). These days we have the internet as well - which means that we are constantly bombarded with drama, fake news and general bullshit because this is what catches people's attention and makes them click on those links! And even if you don't click on the link, you've already seen the fearmongering advertisement, right?
Magazines like CHAT? They claim to be 'outrageous' and 'inspirational'? but I fail to see how stories like, 'Why I put Fifi in the freezer', 'STABBED AT KAROKE (had I sang my last song?)' (well obviously not or you wouldn't be writing about it, ya muffin) or, wait for it...'Every parent's nightmare SNATCHED FROM HER BED! Jessica was taken with her teddy bear and never seen again!'. All front page and all aside a smiling model. I mean, wtf? :shrug:
They've nailed the 'outrageous' part for sure, but I'm struggling to see the inspirational? :unsure:
My point is that shit like this sells. It's there for a reason. It grabs people's attention and that's why it's there. If you want to read lots of inspirational stories about death - check out websites like IANDS because those folk did die (for a bit) and came back with lovely stories and no fear of death. Or go and spend an hour or two in a hospice so you can experience that sense of warmth and peacefulness (like I did - which totally obliterated my ideas about hospices being gloomy and sad). The evidence for 'good death' is all around you but your mind is drawn only to what it fears, and that's why you have to work on your thoughts but also your daily choices. You get to choose what you ingest whether that's body or brain. So make good choices?
The other way to work with this is to distract your mind so hobbies or going for walks in nature are all good. Or go out with your friends? Just don't sit in front of a computer or phone screen Googling symptoms or posting on here for constant reassurance. As you can see by your own history - any comfort and reassurance you may achieve from us is temporary. Nothing any of us can say will make any difference to you if you don't make that mental shift to change your situation. Until then, they're just words. You have to decide that you've had enough of HA and you are going to do whatever it takes to gain control back over your own mind. No 'if's' and no 'buts'. No excuses..
I was very mentally unwell with my last bout of HA (2017) and it was when I was at my worst that I experienced the mental shift I'm talking about. I wanted to hear from (and read about) people who were every bit as ill as me but who'd got better. I wanted to know how they dragged themselves out of what seemed to be a never-ending void of fear? This is what I'm doing on this forum now - passing on what I learned during my journey to recovery and If I had to simplify the whole thing into what I believe is the key to recovery from HA - it would be: 'understanding the stress response' 'acceptance' and 'determination'.
Question is, do you want to get better? And how hard are you willing to work for it? Because the easiest thing to do is what you're doing now. It's effortless. It's horrible, but effortless. You just allow those catastrophic thoughts to take over and post on here for reassurance. Effort is when you begin to challenge those thoughts. It's incredibly hard work and it's always going to require effort because beating HA isn't about not ever having those 'what if' thoughts again - it's about how we respond when they do come.
What are you going to do to help yourself today? You can choose to stay as you are (and obsess about your perfectly normal) body parts or you can choose to be proactive. :shrug:
Every time you Google a symptom or read a fearmongering article, you are firing up your stress response (fight or flight) and this creates real symptoms which your HA mind mistakes for diseases. So do something today which will be beneficial to you. Something which will trigger the opposite to the stress response (rest & digest).
What can you do that will make you feel happy today?
Thank you for taking the time to write such in-depth posts, I know I don’t always reply instantly but I read them and I do try to take on what you’re saying.
It does help, one of my friends has actually said hypnotherapy might help.
What helped you Nora? Did you have to go on anti depressants or did you just do CBT?
My friend has said to keep taking my meds but to distract myself from my pupils, it’s just hard when I’m getting ready and all I can see is my saucer eyes. It triggers that panic.
What's wrong with having large pupils, though? This is something you need to ask yourself.
From experience, you have to learn not to surrender to every fleeting anxious thought, just let them pass by.
What's wrong with having large pupils, though? This is something you need to ask yourself.
From experience, you have to learn not to surrender to every fleeting anxious thought, just let them pass by.
They’re unusually large, really dilated and it takes a couple of hours for them to go back to normal. It’s only when I wake up as I get up about 6/6.30am
But it scares me
Just because it feels scary, it doesn't mean that there's anything to be scared of.
The whole point of health anxiety is that it makes us fear harmless things - I say that as somebody who once went to a GP because my irregular pupils were freaking me out so badly.
Just keep on reminding yourself that it's a harmless side-effect and sooner or later the self-talk will stick.
They’re unusually large, really dilated and it takes a couple of hours for them to go back to normal. It’s only when I wake up as I get up about 6/6.30am
But it scares me
But I was told it’s due to SSRI’s. I take mine at night. But it’s made me too scared to take them. I worry my eyes won’t go back to normal, and I panic about them reacting to light and I can’t stop shining lights in them.
Still nothing to be scared of. Chlobo, you need to start acknowledging your thoughts as irrational or you really will be stuck like this.
Acknowledge, and move on.
Still nothing to be scared of. Chlobo, you need to start acknowledging your thoughts as irrational or you really will be stuck like this.
Acknowledge, and move on.
That’s the hardest part, to acknowledge and move on would be a dream. I just don’t know how people do it.
This feeling in my eyebrow is really worrying me tonight. It’s one thing after another and it’s constant, it’s one thing one day and another the next
Guys I feel awful.
My forehead feels so weird, like above my eyebrows where I had them waxed.
They feel alien, like my skin is sort of bulging. It feels numb. And I keep getting a hot face. I keep having thoughts where I’m going to have to go to A&E. my forehead feels really tight as well like a band is round it. I’m scared
Is anyone available to chat?
I’m worried about this eye brow feeling. It’s been like this for about 3 days now. Just feels numb patch and odd when I move it. I told my mum and she said stop focusing on it and forget it. But I’m really struggling
What good do you think chatting will do? I'd be happy to make conversation as a distraction, but I don't know whether that's what you want.
What good do you think chatting will do? I'd be happy to make conversation as a distraction, but I don't know whether that's what you want.
I don’t know, I guess when I say chat I mean reassurance :(
I don’t know, I guess when I say chat I mean reassurance :(
Appreciate the honesty. Hope you feel better soon.
FMP
I'm with FMP; hope you can get past this. Unfortunately, the only reassurance that sticks is the sort that comes from within.
I’ve really been trying to stay away from articles and anything triggering, but I just seem to get these random symptoms that send me down a hole regardless. I’ve moved on from my mouth now because I’ve got this numb feeling on a patch above my eyebrow, it’s really odd. I get like a pulling feeling when I move my eyebrow too, it just feels numb and weird. I had my eyebrows waxed on Tuesday and it came on soon after that so I don’t know if it’s related.
So this sensation came on AFTER you'd had your eyebrows waxed (which I presume involves a 'pulling sensation as the wax comes off) and you 'don't know if it's related'? Of course you don't. You have health anxiety!
I feel completely exhausted as well.
Anxiety creates & uses up a LOT of energy..
I’ve stopped taking my Citalopram because In the mornings I’m waking up with huge pupils and it scares me. I’m not sure I can cope with that as a side affect.
Dilated pupils is a side effect with some people. I recall I had that as a side effect when I was taking them years ago..
Also, it's not a good idea to stop taking meds without your GP's guidance..
Today I’ve tried to use distraction but my brain just keeps going in the background, I’ve put some washing away, and tidied up but I can’t help the thoughts of panic sneaking in. It’s everyday at the moment, the uncertainty of everything is just making me worry constantly.
Those thoughts are going to keep kicking your @rse until you learn to challenge them but moving about sure as hell beats sitting (or lying) around because at least you are discharging some of the stress hormones which are responsible for so many of those unpleasant symptoms..
I’ve got some PTSD relating to brain issues as my brother had a brain tumour when I was in my early 20’s. He’s all good now but it was traumatising at the time,
Try and remember this the next time you think that illness = death..
I don’t want my body to keep throwing these weird sensations at me that make me panic, I just want to feel normal. I’m just a constant state of anxiety and worry.
I'll re-write this for you..
I'm in a constant state of anxiety and worry so my body is throwing out weird sensations at me that make me panic.
The latter half of what you've written (as in your thoughts) is actually the cause of all those weird (and normal) sensations and symptoms. Your thoughts are triggering your fight or flight response (normal) and releasing stress hormones including adrenalin & cortisol (these are STIMULATING hormones) Now imagine adding these stimulating hormones to an already over-stimulated system? You're going to feel like shit, right?
Even if you start to put the work in now, it will be a long time before you feel anything like 'normal' Chlobo. It's taken me 4 years to recover from mental breakdown and that's involved working my @rse off on a daily basis - especially on my shittest days. I'm still not back to how I was before I broke down and maybe I never will be? But I'm no longer controlled by health anxiety, and that was the goal..
What helped you Nora? Did you have to go on anti depressants or did you just do CBT?
I developed multiple chemical sensitivity a few years ago so I was taken off every anxiety medication they tried me on - including Citalopram - which I'd taken years ago with no issues. So therapy and cutting out all stimulants (body & mind) were my only options. The first lot of CBT didn't work. I'm a visual learner and this was done over the phone (which I have issues with). Plus, this therapist had a strong accent and I spent most of my time asking her to repeat stuff. I misheard stuff and didn't understand so it was pointless. The next therapist took on board that I'm a visual learner & struggle with verbal instruction and he wrote every session down on laminated sheets which I could take home. One of the most important things that he helped me to see was that I've already faced potential death and I coped - and with no fear - even though I knew things were serious. But there was a plan. My brain had something real to work with - not just my irrational imaginings - and it's often the case that we cope a lot better with what's real than what we fearfully imagine..
My friend has said to keep taking my meds but to distract myself from my pupils, it’s just hard when I’m getting ready and all I can see is my saucer eyes. It triggers that panic.
It's just a side-effect and if this is the only side-effect, then you're not doing too badly. This is one that's going to be impossible to ignore if you care about your appearance so I'd suggest that you 'befriend' the side-effect. Look at yourself as often as you can to familiarise and say to yourself, 'This is a just a side-effect. It's not harmful and I look a bit cute mate'. That's what I would do. This way, you are acknowledging it (no point pretending it doesn't exist) but you're not adding fear to the equation. Do you see? Keep looking at your eyes until you're bored - until you can look and not feel that 'jump' in your chest or whatever your primary fight or flight symptom is..
I developed multiple chemical sensitivity a few years ago so I was taken off every anxiety medication they tried me on - including Citalopram - which I'd taken years ago with no issues. So therapy and cutting out all stimulants (body & mind) were my only options. The first lot of CBT didn't work. I'm a visual learner and this was done over the phone (which I have issues with). Plus, this therapist had a strong accent and I spent most of my time asking her to repeat stuff. I misheard stuff and didn't understand so it was pointless. The next therapist took on board that I'm a visual learner & struggle with verbal instruction and he wrote every session down on laminated sheets which I could take home. One of the most important things that he helped me to see was that I've already faced potential death and I coped - and with no fear - even though I knew things were serious. But there was a plan. My brain had something real to work with - not just my irrational imaginings - and it's often the case that we cope a lot better with what's real than what we fearfully imagine..
It's just a side-effect and if this is the only side-effect, then you're not doing too badly. This is one that's going to be impossible to ignore if you care about your appearance so I'd suggest that you 'befriend' the side-effect. Look at yourself as often as you can to familiarise and say to yourself, 'This is a just a side-effect. It's not harmful and I look a bit cute mate'. That's what I would do. This way, you are acknowledging it (no point pretending it doesn't exist) but you're not adding fear to the equation. Do you see? Keep looking at your eyes until you're bored - until you can look and not feel that 'jump' in your chest or whatever your primary fight or flight symptom is..
My CBT therapist isn’t that great, she cancels a lot. She’s cancelled today because she’s lost her voice and won’t be able to talk on the phone. I really feel like I need face to face support with this.
My friend has said to go to the doctors and she’s happy to come with me to try and get someone else who can give me regular sessions and face to face.
The eyebrow thing is plain weird, it did start after having them waxed and tinted, but I had it done about 3 months prior and I didn’t have any of those symptoms afterwards. I’m trying it ignore it but it feels really really weird. I keep getting panic attacks about it. I’ve started to take the meds again because coming off them will just give me withdrawal effects which won’t be fun.
And yes I’m going to do that, I’m going to try and ignore my eyes as much as possible and just continue to do my hair and face as normal.
I’m so focused on my eyebrow at the moment I’m not as flapping about my eyes. I just want it to go away, I keep thinking god if it’s still there next week it might signal something serious or the week after that I might have to see the doctor and I’m panicking about it. I’m not sure if she irritated a nerve above my brow or if it could be neurological related, like tumours. My mum said why would that signal a tumour? A sensation in your eyebrow? And she was confused but she doesn’t understand neurological symptoms really.
I just want this to end. In the last few weeks I’ve panicked about all sorts of illness, and it’s just one after the other
So this sensation came on AFTER you'd had your eyebrows waxed (which I presume involves a 'pulling sensation as the wax comes off) and you 'don't know if it's related'? Of course you don't. You have health anxiety!
Anxiety creates & uses up a LOT of energy..
Dilated pupils is a side effect with some people. I recall I had that as a side effect when I was taking them years ago..
Also, it's not a good idea to stop taking meds without your GP's guidance..
Those thoughts are going to keep kicking your @rse until you learn to challenge them but moving about sure as hell beats sitting (or lying) around because at least you are discharging some of the stress hormones which are responsible for so many of those unpleasant symptoms..
Try and remember this the next time you think that illness = death..
I'll re-write this for you..
I'm in a constant state of anxiety and worry so my body is throwing out weird sensations at me that make me panic.
The latter half of what you've written (as in your thoughts) is actually the cause of all those weird (and normal) sensations and symptoms. Your thoughts are triggering your fight or flight response (normal) and releasing stress hormones including adrenalin & cortisol (these are STIMULATING hormones) Now imagine adding these stimulating hormones to an already over-stimulated system? You're going to feel like shit, right?
Even if you start to put the work in now, it will be a long time before you feel anything like 'normal' Chlobo. It's taken me 4 years to recover from mental breakdown and that's involved working my @rse off on a daily basis - especially on my shittest days. I'm still not back to how I was before I broke down and maybe I never will be? But I'm no longer controlled by health anxiety, and that was the goal..
I almost feel if I challenge my thoughts I’m jinxing myself. Like, if I tell myself this is okay it won’t be okay, because I’m not prepared and I’ve told myself to ignore something. It’s a cruel circle. I just want this to stop. I want to stop being afraid but ‘ignoring symptoms just doesn’t seem to work, even if I tell myself not to panic I’m already panicked. I can feel my heart instantly race and my stomach goes into knots and I need to run to the toilet. It happens before I even have time to think
My mum said why would that signal a tumour? A sensation in your eyebrow? And she was confused but she doesn’t understand neurological symptoms really.
More like she doesn't understand the HA mind but she's 100% spot on. Take up your friend's offer and see if you can get face to face help.
FMP
More like she doesn't understand the HA mind but she's 100% spot on. Take up your friend's offer and see if you can get face to face help.
FMP
But it feels numb and weird, i keep feeling this pulling sensation that’s a tugging over my eyebrow like the skin is pulling together. My nose also aches on that side and I’ve got a slight headache in my eyebrow too. I’m so worried
But it feels numb and weird, i keep feeling this pulling sensation that’s a tugging over my eyebrow like the skin is pulling together. My nose also aches on that side and I’ve got a slight headache in my eyebrow too. I’m so worried
It’s been three days now. I keep testing to see if I can use the muscles by frowning and raising them up. I’m in torment
Do YOU understand neurological symptoms?
Do YOU understand neurological symptoms?
Enough to know this isn’t good :(
In other words, you don't. You read a bunch of random internet information but don't have the medical background that would give it context.
In other words, you don't. You read a bunch of random internet information but don't have the medical background that would give it context.
This is true but surely this could be classed as a brain issue? It’s been going on for a few days now and doesn’t seem to be letting up :(
I’m honestly sick of this but I have no way out. It’s constant.
You do have a way out, it just takes hard work and determination.
But I don’t know how to stop this it’s over powering me
nomorepanic
18-10-21, 19:41
why not work through the self-help stuff we post about on here?
But what if this isn’t anxiety and it’s a real thing? I’d be working on anxiety for nothing when it’s physical :( I get really afraid of thinking it’s anxiety and it isn’t
This is because you're anxious. Besides, even if it is something (spoiler: it's not) wouldn't it be better to approach it without an anxiety problem?
This is because you're anxious. Besides, even if it is something (spoiler: it's not) wouldn't it be better to approach it without an anxiety problem?
I just feel so helpless. It rules my life. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I’m so afraid all the time
nomorepanic
18-10-21, 20:42
So what harm will it do trying the self-help stuff? What have you got to lose? You have to do something surely
What parts should I try? I don’t think I have actually seen the self help articles
nomorepanic
18-10-21, 22:26
Look at the sticky threads at the top of the HA forum
My CBT therapist isn’t that great, she cancels a lot. She’s cancelled today because she’s lost her voice and won’t be able to talk on the phone. I really feel like I need face to face support with this.
My friend has said to go to the doctors and she’s happy to come with me to try and get someone else who can give me regular sessions and face to face.
The therapist losing her voice can't be helped but if cancelling is a regular thing then, yes, I'd definitely ask to see another therapist and tell them that the constant cancellations is ramping up your anxiety..
The eyebrow thing is plain weird, it did start after having them waxed and tinted, but I had it done about 3 months prior and I didn’t have any of those symptoms afterwards.
It's not at all weird to me! Did you use a different person? You might have actually had these (or similar) sensations and not noticed because you were so busy obsessing about something else at the time?
And yes I’m going to do that, I’m going to try and ignore my eyes as much as possible and just continue to do my hair and face as normal.
You won't be able to ignore your eyes. You need to be able to look at them and not be bothered by the pupil side-effect..
I’m not sure if she irritated a nerve above my brow or if it could be neurological related, like tumours. My mum said why would that signal a tumour? A sensation in your eyebrow? And she was confused but she doesn’t understand neurological symptoms really.
I don't think you do either..
There is a nerve which affects the eyebrow (supraorbital) and knowing how just sitting irritated a nerve in my pelvis - I have no problems in thinking that something as traumatic to the eyebrow as having hair stripped off it via waxing could cause your issue. You have a distinct 'cause & effect' going on here Chlobo - but you have severe health anxiety and so you can't accept the lesser (and most likely) cause..
I just want this to end. In the last few weeks I’ve panicked about all sorts of illness, and it’s just one after the other
If you want it to end, then you will have to put the work in and not just keep posting on here about how fed up you are. You've had some really good advice on here and your other threads but if simply reading was a cure for HA then you wouldn't still be here with the same old same old (albeit different symptoms)
I almost feel if I challenge my thoughts I’m jinxing myself. Like, if I tell myself this is okay it won’t be okay, because I’m not prepared and I’ve told myself to ignore something.
Overcoming health anxiety isn't about ignoring symptoms. It's about challenging our HA thinking so that we stop catastrophising and it's about understanding bodily sensations - especially those hundreds of stress response symptoms. There will be times when a trip to the doctor is necessary but that doesn't equal 'life-threatening'. It's our HA minds that lead us to believe that...
It’s a cruel circle. I just want this to stop. I want to stop being afraid but ‘ignoring symptoms just doesn’t seem to work, even if I tell myself not to panic I’m already panicked. I can feel my heart instantly race and my stomach goes into knots and I need to run to the toilet. It happens before I even have time to think
Again, this isn't about ignoring these symptoms - it's about understanding them.
Fight or flight is a physical response. If you have fearful thoughts, you will trigger this response (and those stress hormones). I can sit here now and trigger my stress response simply by thinking of something. Difference is that I won't panic when my heart starts to race because I know what's happening and I know what I have to do to stop it. People who don't understand the stress response add fear and panic to this normal bodily response, then they catastrophise about the other symptoms - like having to run to the toilet. They don't understand that fight or flight is about priming the body to fight the axe murderer or run like hell and for those actions to be maximised numerous actions have to take place in the body - one of them being purging (urine, poo, undigested food). This is normal for fight or flight but people with HA will think that running to the toilet to be sick, have a shit or a massive wee is sign of something sinister and this is all part of the never-ending cycle of health anxiety.
Fight or flight feels very unpleasant but it's not meant to feel nice. It's there to help to keep our bodies primed for action, our brains sharp, and us alive.
Chlobo, my sympathy & empathy are a given but you need to get proactive with your HA and there be less of the self-pity on here. Your HA mind feeds on shit like that, believe me!
The only person who can get you out of this hole is you, and that's the bottom line.
Incredibly eloquent and truthful response, Nora.
Overcoming health anxiety isn't about ignoring symptoms. It's about challenging our HA thinking so that we stop catastrophising and it's about understanding bodily sensations - especially those hundreds of stress response symptoms. There will be times when a trip to the doctor is necessary but that doesn't equal 'life-threatening'. It's our HA minds that lead us to believe that...
Again, this isn't about ignoring these symptoms - it's about understanding them.
Fight or flight is a physical response. If you have fearful thoughts, you will trigger this response (and those stress hormones). I can sit here now and trigger my stress response simply by thinking of something. Difference is that I won't panic when my heart starts to race because I know what's happening and I know what I have to do to stop it. People who don't understand the stress response add fear and panic to this normal bodily response, then they catastrophise about the other symptoms - like having to run to the toilet. They don't understand that fight or flight is about priming the body to fight the axe murderer or run like hell and for those actions to be maximised numerous actions have to take place in the body - one of them being purging (urine, poo, undigested food). This is normal for fight or flight but people with HA will think that running to the toilet to be sick, have a shit or a massive wee is sign of something sinister and this is all part of the never-ending cycle of health anxiety.
Fight or flight feels very unpleasant but it's not meant to feel nice. It's there to help to keep our bodies primed for action, our brains sharp, and us alive.
Chlobo, my sympathy & empathy are a given but you need to get proactive with your HA and there be less of the self-pity on here. Your HA mind feeds on shit like that, believe me!
The only person who can get you out of this hole is you, and that's the bottom line.
I think I feel fight or flight all the time, I’m always uneasy, waiting for something and listening to what’s going on in my body.
My hearing went in my ear yesterday and it started to ring and it made me physically jump, even though I shouldn’t panic over something like that. I paced around for a bit until it went and then tried to just carry on with what I was doing.
And yes I can trigger it with thoughts too, it’s just horrible. It’s always my stomach that goes when I get it, it’s awful. Im suffering with really awful intrusive thoughts about illness at the moment as well, visions of hospital and me poorly really sharp in my mind, or calling an ambulance, or running to my neighbors house because I have stroke symptoms and I’m trying to get help. I feel vulnerable and afraid all the time.
I really don’t want sympathy, I just want to know that I’m okay and that Im not going to leave my kids behind when they’re little, but no one can guarantee that so here I am always afraid
Im going to read through some of the articles on here. Im just sat on the sofa cuddling my dog trying to shut everything out while my kids are at school, .so I can put on my super mum face when I go pick them up again.
It’s exhausting.
And it isn’t just the eyebrow sensation now it’s others too. Like the back of my head suddenly feels cold and my cheeks, or I have a drip feeling on my scalp, or little hot poker feelings under my eyes.
Urgh just go away
Oh Chlobo,
It is exhausting!!! You know what I read in your posts though? I read about a woman who is struggling with some really difficult challenges but is still taking care of her children. I think you are stronger than you realize. You are trying every day. You haven’t given up. You want to live and be there for your children.
I think that strength that is inside of you will get more powerful as you continue with therapy and keep trying to be the best mom that you can.
Keep on trying. You are going to get through this. I wish I could hug you. I can’t, but I will be praying for you tonight.
Be well,
Debbie
https://www.home-start.org.uk/
Do you feel overwhelming responsibility for your young children as you don't have any back up or family support? It's very hard being under the cosh on a 24/7 basis. Something will give..Would you consider looking into what this charity could offer? I'm sure there will be a waiting list but it may give you something to think about?
I think you need practical help as well as psychological help?
I think I feel fight or flight all the time, I’m always uneasy, waiting for something and listening to what’s going on in my body.
Fight or flight puts the body into 'high alert'. At my worst with HA a change in tempo in a song would trigger a panic attack. Or a gust of wind. Or the sun going in or coming out. My system was so incredibly sensitised that I became like one of those overly-sensitive car alarms that go off when someone farts in the next street, you get me? I was either having a panic attack or I was leading up to one - even at night!
My hearing went in my ear yesterday and it started to ring and it made me physically jump, even though I shouldn’t panic over something like that. I paced around for a bit until it went and then tried to just carry on with what I was doing.
I have hearing loss in both ears but predominantly my left with tinnitus in both. My ear regularly feels bunged up but I'm wondering if you washed your hair or had a shower yesterday? Or the day before? Because water in the ear is the most common cause for this. The problem is that you have this irrational stroke fear so any symptom that affects your head is going to ramp up your anxiety..
Im suffering with really awful intrusive thoughts about illness at the moment as well, visions of hospital and me poorly really sharp in my mind, or calling an ambulance, or running to my neighbors house because I have stroke symptoms and I’m trying to get help. I feel vulnerable and afraid all the time.
And you have to re-write the script..
What actual experience do you have of strokes? Or is your dramatic scenario straight out of 'Casualty'?
I really don’t want sympathy,
Why not? It's human to crave sympathy when our world is going to shit! The issue is when we are relying solely on sympathy and reassurance without actually doing anything proactive to help ourselves get out of hole we're in..
I just want to know that I’m okay and that Im not going to leave my kids behind when they’re little, but no one can guarantee that so here I am always afraid
You're absolutely right - nobody can guarantee you that and life isn't fair is it? But when I get down about my life, fairness, and how much of a struggle it is, I think of the little boy's funeral I attended. He was four years old. His time here was so brief but he smiled through every moment of it - and despite some major health issues. He never got to fall in love and marry somebody or have children of his own. He never lived old enough to get pissed and make an @rse of himself. He had four Christmases. I've had fifty. If I die tomorrow I've done all those things and a lot more! I've also achieved what we're programmed to do - which is to reproduce and keep the species going. Now my kids have their own kids. I have so much to be thankful for, and so do you - it's just that anxiety obliterates everything that's good in our lives and we struggle to see anything beyond our own imagined fearful future..
If it helps, I totally understand your fear. My youngest son is autistic. He's 12. I don't know yet if he will be independent and some nights this keeps me awake (even now) but I remind myself that I can't control when (or how) I'm going to die. All I can do is to love & teach him as best I can while I am here and trust that others will step up to support him. I keep myself as well as I can and a major part of that is to work hard on my stress levels..
Physically, you're ok now. This is a mental issue with you. And now is all any of us really have..
At the moment you are totally giving into your HA thoughts. You're not challenging them. The script in your head? You're the one who is choosing it. Your body is responding to what it thinks is a real threat to you. It's working so hard for you - you just don't understand it - and this is why you fear the response as well as everything else..
It’s exhausting.
Anxiety uses up a lot of energy. When I had my breakdown four years ago I just sat in a chair all day and it was INCREDIBLY EXHAUSTING!
The chances of you having a stroke are incredibly low. The people who I know who had strokes had them as a consequence of other serious health conditions and aside my nan (who was 77) they're still very much here and enjoying life.
You don't have to be 'supermum' lovely. Having a mental health disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. Nor is asking for help. And I wish I could give you an awkward hug (I always go the wrong damn way) because I know how shit this is for you. I also know that there's a way out and that it starts with a mental shift. We can say, 'I'M SO TIRED OF THIS', 'I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!' until we're blue in the face but until we flick that mental switch in our heads where we absolutely KNOW we will do whatever it takes to get better - nothing will ever change and nothing any of us say on here will make any lasting difference. My 'switch' was flicked when I realised what my HA was doing to my son. That was it for me. I knew then that I would do whatever I had to do to get well - even if that meant rolling around naked in fox shit on a full moon for the rest of my life!
I can also tell you how very strong you are to be enduring this MH disorder and this is why I know you have it in you to work your way out of the hole you're in..
Thank you Nora and Pctdebbie. Honestly I would love a hug right now, and thanks for saying I’m strong. I don’t feel it most of the time. I’m just on robot mode with the kids sometimes because I don’t want them to pick up on my anxieties and I don’t think they really have. They just see me as happy mummy that has friends and smiles and laughs, which is all I want them to see. I dread them getting older and understanding more, I do feel a sense of shame I think, I’m trying to be the best mum I can be and this takes that away, as most days my thoughts are on my body or a sensation, staring and scrolling through my phone looking for reassurance or peace from a symptom I’m frightened of.
When my brother had cancer I didn’t seem him ever lose control, he got sad yes but mainly due to feeling unwell through chemo. He was so brave throughout that stage in his life and I look at him in awe everyday because of that. I just wish I could be calm, and at peace with life and death and illness.
I’m lucky to have a good friend who I can talk too and she’s very understanding of mental health. I actually spoke to her about my eyebrow and she told me in no uncertain terms that if I were to go to the doctor I’d be wasting resources for someone that needed that appointment, she told me to look her in the eye and told me that she promised it will go away but I have to stop worrying and focusing on it.
It actually has gone away now, I sucked it up for a week but during that week I’ve been frightened and focused on it so much I’ve given myself panic attacks. In those moments I feel so lost in worry it’s like I become someone else and i can’t focus, then when I come out of them I look back and think why did that take so much out of me, so much of my time and joy. I want to get better I just feel like I have a severe reaction to bodily symptoms and I just feel like has this gone on too long?
I was about 8 years old when I had my first experiences with health anxiety and I’m now 31 and still dealing with it. I don’t want to waste my life on fear but I feel so completely stuck.
https://www.home-start.org.uk/
Do you feel overwhelming responsibility for your young children as you don't have any back up or family support? It's very hard being under the cosh on a 24/7 basis. Something will give..Would you consider looking into what this charity could offer? I'm sure there will be a waiting list but it may give you something to think about?
I think you need practical help as well as psychological help?
I do very much so, I don’t have a huge ton of support and the people who my children would be left behind with if anything happened to me worries me. My son especially as he doesn’t know or see his dad (not my choice) he only has my mum as a nanny and she isn’t well herself mentally. I get so frightened about where he would end up, I have images of him going into social care and it scares me to death. I have never heard of this charity but I will take a look. Thank you
I do very much so, I don’t have a huge ton of support and the people who my children would be left behind with if anything happened to me worries me. My son especially as he doesn’t know or see his dad (not my choice) he only has my mum as a nanny and she isn’t well herself mentally. I get so frightened about where he would end up, I have images of him going into social care and it scares me to death. I have never heard of this charity but I will take a look. Thank you
It's a terrible strain when you have so much responsibility and no back up support so you feel that you just can't be ill..Of course this makes you fear every single "strange" body sensation because what would happen to your children if you were carted off to hospital etc etc etc.
I hope that link is helpful even if it just gives you some ideas?
I’m really spiralling again…
I started having cold symptoms today. Blocked up nose, feeling warm and headache with facial pressure, that sort of head cold feeling.
Tonight I feel awful, the back of my head hurts and I feel ‘hot’ I can’t take my temperature as my thermometer is lost. I’ve tried to sleep but I can’t sleep properly and I keep waking up. I feel really warm. I’m worried this could be meningitis. My neck is also stiff. I’m absolutely panicked. And to top it off my daughter is isolating at her dads due to having corona virus and I’m scared it could be that too! And I’m having a really bad reaction too it.
Try not to worry? There are some really nasty colds going around right now.
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