Does anyone else feel this way?

[Kittyslippers]

I'm so glad this forum exists so I can talk to people who experience the same things I do. I wish none of us had health anxiety because it is a terrible, horrible thing, but here we all are....

I feel like my memory has been crap. I'm 30 so I shouldn't be experiencing any of that and yet I feel like I am. No one had said anything about it but I always feel like im repeating myself. Does that make sense? Like I'll think all these thoughts inside my head and then I will question myself if I said anything I was thinking. It makes me nervous just to engage in conversation at this point. How silly is that? That is no way for someone to live, to constantly question every single interaction panicking if you had said something or not. Is this just anxiety, or what is this? Of course my mind immediately goes to a brain tumor or something ugh.

Has anyone experienced this? I feel like im losing my mind..... I hate that I can't just relax for one day without being obsessive about this.

Anyway... any input would be appreciated. I'm having a rough time and just wanna curl up in a ball and cry. :(

[sEiZuRe!]

Short term memory or memory in general?

If it's short term memory it's likely you're anxious about something and your mind is drifting to that instead of living in the Now.

Highly unlikely you have a brain tumour without neurological issues.

Just breathe slowly, keep your posture up, remind yourself the panic is only temporary. And see a therapist because people that have HA are indeed ill (includes me!) but it's anxiety and that needs to be addressed.

[Carys]

No one had said anything about it but I always feel like im repeating myself.

I totally recognise the post you made, its not a brain tumour, and you aren't 'losing your mind', but in my 20s I believed it was a brain tumour or psychosis causing it (I'm now in my 50s and still brain tumour and psychosis free lol). Its something I could and would have said way back then, I also couldn't understand how and why others couldn't see it or hear the errors I was making - well, they couldn't because the problem was inside my head and consisted of intrusive thoughts. Had I said this or that or thought it ? What had I said, when did I say it etc etc ? The reason for it happening is probably very simple, that you are thinking and focusing way too hard on your thoughts and speech, obsessive detail of every minor thought and word. Your brain can't cope with analysing, thinking and talking this way - communication should be far more natural and 'unthought' about. The level of focus you are applying to communication is meaning that you scaring yourself, then fearful during the next interaction and not concentrating on it fully as there is a background of anxiety, and the spiral goes on and on. I'm not sure that I'm explaining myself that well.......but to add.....there have been many on here who have talked of exactly your manifestation of anxiety.

[AshleyBrown22]

Try to learn to not give a ****. Your memory issues are your own, you wouldn't blame someone if they had that condition. Everyone feels some type of inadequacy and remind yourself of this when you start to feel it. You have to battle those subconscious thoughts. They aren't facts. They are old beliefs. I am 30 as well with the same disorder. I've asked the same question years ago. If you build up your beliefs you'll start to believe them. It's coping skills and it takes time and practice. Go easy on yourself. Sending love from Canada.

[Kittyslippers]

You're all wonderful people. Thank you so much for taking the time to send me your kind and thoughtful messages, it really made me feel better. I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I really do need to find a better way to cope, or I will always be stuck in this downwards spiral...

Seriously though, thanks again for your kindness. :) I would give you all hugs if I could.