View Full Version : Crappy Christmas one and all
We’ll it’s that time of year again where we all live the life of an M&S advert , laughing and pulling crackers round the Christmas dinner table then outside to sing carols in the fresh snow , needle scratches across the record and reality takes over , a lot of Christmas’s are more like The Pogues Fairytale of New York video .
Dont get me wrong my idea of a perfect Christmas is having all my family round eating and drinking too much and watching a cheesy Christmas film together , the reality very rarely goes this way , people who are ill will still be ill over Christmas , baby Jesus doesn’t wave his magic wand and everyone is okay for a while , mental illness doesn’t take a holiday.
I desperately want to have a good Christmas and most of all give my friends and family a good Christmas after all it is more about giving than receiving, but that little bug in my head wants to ruin it before it’s started , a little worry about loved ones being poorly or falling out will soon snowball into a Christmas horror .
Take today , we put our tree up and decorated it , an hour later one leg broke on a brand new tree and it went crashing to the floor breaking glass baubles everywhere, we tidied up and a short while later my partner rushed to the toilet and returned to say she was passing blood again , it didn’t fill me with Christmas spirit .
Its been a tough 18 months for most of us , some have had it worse than others , my depression would love to take over and my anxiety is itching to ruin Christmas but for now I still have breath in my body so I’m not quite giving up on the concept of a happy Christmas.
If it’s shite there is always this place so we won’t be alone in our misery , it does love company apparently.
Tomorrow I’ll be taking that freakin’ tree back for another and if they argue they’ll be on top of the next one like a fairy with a tree up the jacksie .
Happy Christmas :hugs:
Personally I'm trying not to expect too much. It's my first Christmas without my mum, my sister isn't speaking to my husband and my stepdad is having Christmas dinner with them, so seeing them on Christmas day is a no no.
The good news is our son is coming home for Christmas (and his birthday) and I'm just going to try and make the most of it. Yes I probably won't feel great, yes a lot of emotions will get churned up. But I'm trying to prepare myself for it, so I'm feeling hopeful it won't be too much of an emotional disaster.
As much as these days I don't buy into a lot of the relentless hype surrounding Christmas, and while I don't get the same kicks from it as I did when I was younger, I just have a 'take it as it comes' attitude in anticipation of each festive season.
Some people just happen to be more unlucky than others, and often simply by chance, which is a fact of life. Plus bad luck can occur pretty much any time of the year, not just Christmas.
MyNameIsTerry
30-11-21, 08:55
You can join our crimbo table if you want but...no pulling your cracker :blush:
Christmas Day has changed a lot for me since my mum and dad passed. I'd always be 'Driving home for Christmas' to the tune of Chris Rea. Mum would be in her element decorating the table and making far too many puds and desserts. We'd exchange presents and adorn those paper hats that always split down the side reading jokes that made you go "Urr" and scrutinising our miniature cracker contents. Then we'd crash on the sofa for about 6 hours of festive tv and films.
Now, I shamefully don't even bother with a table and have skipped the turkey feast and opted for steak on a tray in front of the tv, which actually worked out cheaper. I stopped buying crackers and left the hassle of cooking Christmas pud in the past. The relations don't bother with contacting me anymore and Christmas cards no longer arrive through the letterbox. I've moved 3 times since mum passed so not familiar with the neighbours to get invites. Plus where we live, not much happens, unlike London where you can do just about anything day or night. We don't have a cinema and restaurants close at 9pm and traditional pubs have been replaced with fast food microwave dinners. So being just the two of us we have what you call a glorified Sunday. Luxury dinner, film fest, a walk if we can manage it and reflect on past years. Although this year I have ordered turkey, mainly because it gives out that Christmassy feeling. Plus the cat likes it. :D
I think it's best not to expect too much. It's just a day of festivities and I'm more inclined now to thank my lucky stars I'm still alive and kicking and made it through another year.
Christmas Day has changed a lot for me since my mum and dad passed. I'd always be 'Driving home for Christmas' to the tune of Chris Rea. Mum would be in her element decorating the table and making far too many puds and desserts. We'd exchange presents and adorn those paper hats that always split down the side reading jokes that made you go "Urr" and scrutinising our miniature cracker contents. Then we'd crash on the sofa for about 6 hours of festive tv and films.
Now, I shamefully don't even bother with a table and have skipped the turkey feast and opted for steak on a tray in front of the tv, which actually worked out cheaper. I stopped buying crackers and left the hassle of cooking Christmas pud in the past. The relations don't bother with contacting me anymore and Christmas cards no longer arrive through the letterbox. I've moved 3 times since mum passed so not familiar with the neighbours to get invites. Plus where we live, not much happens, unlike London where you can do just about anything day or night. We don't have a cinema and restaurants close at 9pm and traditional pubs have been replaced with fast food microwave dinners. So being just the two of us we have what you call a glorified Sunday. Luxury dinner, film fest, a walk if we can manage it and reflect on past years. Although this year I have ordered turkey, mainly because it gives out that Christmassy feeling. Plus the cat likes it. :D
I think it's best not to expect too much. It's just a day of festivities and I'm more inclined now to thank my lucky stars I'm still alive and kicking and made it through another year.
You're right Carnation, it's best not to expect too much and take every Christmas season as it comes.
Ditto for holidays (as in vacations).
After all, it's what we personally make of such events that's most important, so I will never be a killjoy and write off all things Christmas.
As for the Chris Rea song, I don't personally mind it and give me that any time over that dreaded Slade song which makes me want to have epic meltdowns every time my eardrums are assaulted by it, which ironically was one of the advantages of lockdown last Christmas, as I didn't have to hear it out in public!
Probably because 'DHFC' is one of the 'newer' Christmas hits (post-1985) that's still less overplayed than almost all of those that came before, especially those from the 70s. It's only been over more recent years that said song has become more appreciated and has actually entered the UK Top 20 for the first time ever, unlike back in 1988 upon its original release it charted quite lowly as a single in its own right.
It's less in your face Lencoboy. It can be playing in background without even noticing its Christmas rant.
I think the worst thing about the chart Christmas songs is starting the so early, but worse than that is hearing them when you are not part of a party full of joy and happiness and actually feeling quite low and depressed. It's like rubbing salt in the wound with a cherry on top.
It's less in your face Lencoboy. It can be playing in background without even noticing its Christmas rant.
I think the worst thing about the chart Christmas songs is starting the so early, but worse than that is hearing them when you are not part of a party full of joy and happiness and actually feeling quite low and depressed. It's like rubbing salt in the wound with a cherry on top.
I agree with you Carnation.
The radio stations, shops, pubs, etc that start playing them too early will probably just lazily assume it's because it's what most people want, just like the overkill on TV with endless on-screen captions and unnecessary din of background music that often detracts from the actual subject matter of the programmes concerned.
But by the same token, those doing all the moaning and groaning about such things often end up being accused of being killjoys, spoilsports and told to 'get a life'!
Also, there's plenty of non-Christmas songs of which I would derive great pleasure from grabbing their vinyl records and/or CDs and tossing them into hell, but I won't elaborate on them in this thread.
I think there is so much about Christmas that makes us feel what we 'should' be doing. As Buster alluded to with M&S, you have TV adverts that show huge family gatherings where every member, right down to the family cat, is in a state of sublime bliss. No arguments, no awkward silences, no burnt turkey with smoke alarms going off, just a state of nirvana where everything goes perfectly.
While we can be objective upon viewing these adverts and other similar prompts, over time and if repeated enough, they sink in on a deeper level so that we end up with a sense of failure and/or unhappiness.
Past Christmases have a tendency to become refreshed in our minds too. Some we remember as genuinely happy times, a few from my early childhood and mid to late teens are fond memories for me. But some were not so pleasant, Christmas 1985 was the worst I can recall and thankfully is frozen in time.
I was happy we got to see my aunt and uncle over Thanksgiving, as we didn't get to see them at all last year. Also got to have my brother, his wife, and my 2 year old nephew, which was both exhausting and fun. They go to my sister-in-law's for Christmas, so we did presents over Thanksgiving.
Christmas we usually go to my other aunt's house, but my cousins will likely be there and they are antivax, and my aunt hangs out with other antivaxers as well....so we probably won't be going. My aunt that was here for Thanksgiving isn't really comfortable going either.
So, looks like Christmas will be just me and my parents, but I get the week from Christmas to New Year's off, so I will be doing a lot of hiking with my dog, no matter the weather. That's something to look forward to, even if I do wish I could go to the bar district for New Year's!
I'm so glad I'm not the only one apprehensive about xmas. I'm sick myself and that's not going to change for xmas. I'm sorry about your partner passing blood Buster, that's unpleasant and a bit scary.
I'm trying to stop seeing it as one day and start seeing it as a whole season. Maybe it's ok if I don't eat turkey on xmas day if I eat a turkey sandwich in December. I love traditions but I can be a bit inflexible with them and it's sometimes impossible to make it all happen. I want to scale back and make it simpler for myself. I don't want to spend an age trying to get xmas food on my online grocery order where the turkey keeps selling out last minute and I have to work out what else to get. I want to have fun and relax... while leaving room to allow myself to rest, to look after this sick body.
Wow I didn’t expect this many replies we are a bunch of Christmas grinches, even though I probably paint a bit of a bleak picture of Christmas I do have genuine fond memories of past Christmas’s , going to my grandmas as a kid when all of my family were alive and well , we’d have a big dinner round the table then I’d be allowed into the “ the best room “ to open my presents , front room at nan’s was never used so all the furniture was brand new , I think she was hoping one day the queen might pop in unexpected, like wearing clean underwear just in case you get run over ,the reality was probably different for the grown ups grandad had been in prison for beating the crap out of nan and his kids but as a kid you don’t see this side , I also had some good Christmas’s with my kids when the were young and unlike my grandad and dad I think I’ve done a better job being a dad .
Catkins it can be awkward when family members don’t get on at this time , if my partners sisters came round I’d have to hide all the sharp implements which would make carving the turkey pretty hard with a spoon , you can’t choose your family so just enjoy the time with the ones that matter most .
Carnation that saddens me that moving around has meant less cards in the post but I think that’s the way things are going ,more digital for future, post your new address on the net and I’ll send you a card , you may also get a few from Nigeria offering gifts of money but you might need to send them cash first to free up a fortune they’ve inherited, don’t think it’s a scam as scammers take Christmas off work .
Terry you are welcome to come for dinner but I’ll warn you I threw all the chairs away last year so unless I find some soon you’ll be standing in the corner where the tree should be with baubles and tinsel hanging on you .
Right now for the positive side , how many of you will wake up on Christmas Day in a cardboard box on the street to the smell of p**s after a night of fear of being kicked around by a drunk reveller ? Or the fear of a partner getting drunk and knocking the stuffing out of you ? Excuse the pun , hopefully none , it’s shite but not that shite , putting up with a cheesy advert or annoying song we can all do standing on our heads and putting up with anxiety is what we do every day so nothing new there .
Ill find something positive to add to this thread , maybe just a small act of kindness to someone to make their day less bleak , I’ll more than likely have a moan as well so you guys are more than welcome to post about how crap your day has been , good or bad it still better to be upright above ground at Christmas eh ?
Christmas favourites ,
song ,Fairytale of New York
Film , Elf
dinner item ,pigs in blankets ( no it’s Yorkshire pudding , no it’s Turkey or good mash or roast potatoes)
quality street ,the orange one
drink ,John smiths bitter , used to be spiced rum but can’t do spirits anymore
Present ,brand new BMX bike 1983 the only new bike I ever had
It’s not all bad .
Are you going to do your random tree in woods decoration service this year, Buster?
Wow I didn’t expect this many replies we are a bunch of Christmas grinches, even though I probably paint a bit of a bleak picture of Christmas I do have genuine fond memories of past Christmas’s , going to my grandmas as a kid when all of my family were alive and well , we’d have a big dinner round the table then I’d be allowed into the “ the best room “ to open my presents , front room at nan’s was never used so all the furniture was brand new , I think she was hoping one day the queen might pop in unexpected, like wearing clean underwear just in case you get run over ,the reality was probably different for the grown ups grandad had been in prison for beating the crap out of nan and his kids but as a kid you don’t see this side , I also had some good Christmas’s with my kids when the were young and unlike my grandad and dad I think I’ve done a better job being a dad .
Catkins it can be awkward when family members don’t get on at this time , if my partners sisters came round I’d have to hide all the sharp implements which would make carving the turkey pretty hard with a spoon , you can’t choose your family so just enjoy the time with the ones that matter most .
Carnation that saddens me that moving around has meant less cards in the post but I think that’s the way things are going ,more digital for future, post your new address on the net and I’ll send you a card , you may also get a few from Nigeria offering gifts of money but you might need to send them cash first to free up a fortune they’ve inherited, don’t think it’s a scam as scammers take Christmas off work .
Terry you are welcome to come for dinner but I’ll warn you I threw all the chairs away last year so unless I find some soon you’ll be standing in the corner where the tree should be with baubles and tinsel hanging on you .
Right now for the positive side , how many of you will wake up on Christmas Day in a cardboard box on the street to the smell of p**s after a night of fear of being kicked around by a drunk reveller ? Or the fear of a partner getting drunk and knocking the stuffing out of you ? Excuse the pun , hopefully none , it’s shite but not that shite , putting up with a cheesy advert or annoying song we can all do standing on our heads and putting up with anxiety is what we do every day so nothing new there .
Ill find something positive to add to this thread , maybe just a small act of kindness to someone to make their day less bleak , I’ll more than likely have a moan as well so you guys are more than welcome to post about how crap your day has been , good or bad it still better to be upright above ground at Christmas eh ?
Christmas favourites ,
song ,Fairytale of New York
Film , Elf
dinner item ,pigs in blankets ( no it’s Yorkshire pudding , no it’s Turkey or good mash or roast potatoes)
quality street ,the orange one
drink ,John smiths bitter , used to be spiced rum but can’t do spirits anymore
Present ,brand new BMX bike 1983 the only new bike I ever had
It’s not all bad .
Nice that you're also reminiscing about better past Christmases, Buster.
I've lived through a mixed bag of festive seasons personally, some good, others not so good.
I think what's at the root of your concerns is the 'fear of failure', and feeling compelled to 'keep up with the Joneses', which is typical of many in contemporary society.
A lot of people probably also feel the same prior to going away on their holidays, fearing the potential of untoward happenings (such as bad weather, being stuck at airports when travelling abroad, terror-related scares, becoming ill or having accidents during the holiday), letdowns, and general disappointments (e.g, poor service in hotels/accommodation), ASB from other holidaymakers, etc.
I've recently browsed old Argos catalogues online dating from the 70s and 80s, and you see photographic images of families in them all looking as happy as Larry, without a care in the world and totally oblivious to a lot of the much-talked about turmoil that typically characterised both of those decades, so just demonstrates how nothing is always what it seems at face value, and that many of us can be fooled by such imagery, even from the past.
But it also demonstrates how the concept of 'keeping up with the Joneses' and bandwagon jumping is far from being an exclusively 21st Century phenomenon.
Are you going to do your random tree in woods decoration service this year, Buster?
It did cross my mind this morning on the dog walk and I have got a few spare baubles , a picked up a bargain tree from a charity shop today so winner winner turkey dinner , did my bit for charity and got a bigger better tree for a fraction of the price , we have two trees now one real one fake .
Ive realised I’m putting too much pressure on myself to be okay by Christmas, I haven’t been doing well for some time , I can function when my anxiety feels like it’s killing me but I think that’s down to stubbornness, trouble is it wears me out and eventually something has to give , there will always be worries and problems so putting a time limit on sorting myself out isn’t helpful.
Got my booster jab tomorrow and some kind soul gave me a run down on how ill it makes you even though I said I don’t want to know ignorance is bliss , still it’s happening so just have to suck it and see , got too much work on and not enough energy or enthusiasm and next week my daughter has her chemotherapy again , so one thing at a time hopefully get through and make a little time to start decorating a random tree in the woods to check the Christmas spirit is still alive .
Oh and I stepped on a drawing pin yesterday which must have been waiting since last year in the box of decorations to fall out for me , probably like the unexploded bomb that’s lay silently in wait in the woods since the war waiting for me to step on it while hanging a bauble on a tree .
Opened my advent calendar today , yay a Malteaser , all going well , fingers crossed hopefully going down the coast between Christmas and new year :yesyes:
Richard1960
02-12-21, 01:15
Yes I tend to eco what has already been said ,lots of happy faces on adverts none of which I can relate real life to.
Giving the message open your Wallets\Purses its Consumerfest time.
Not all of us celebrate Christmas but are surrounded by seemingly perfect people, with not a care in the world singing its praises on TV.
My happiest time was in early to late teens ,as far as Christmas festivities are concerned today it just leaves me cold ,possibly to do with the horrendous over commercialisation of it .
When I was young Christmas did not seem to start mid November as I recall Bah Humbug.
There is far too much emphasis on Christmas - mostly driven by media and advertising on a money agenda - by the time we have gone through October and November let alone December the Christmas spirit has long since dissipated. Such a lot of effort for one day which a lot of people will secretly admit they have had enough of by post-Christmas dinner!!
Christmas is for children, innocents and adults who get off on making false merry ... not for me I'm afraid. Prefer a quiet day myself which the government has obligingly enabled by locking the county down last year and most likely again this year.
So this is Christmas ,,, warning this isn’t happy Christmas, last week my daughter dropped it on us she and the grandkids are not coming for Christmas dinner now which is something she’s done before leaving us with loads food spare , I did my decorating a tree in the woods and when I returned some kind soul had taken it all , today I thought I’d wrap up work which has been too busy for me to keep up and my partner came round with the perfect Christmas news , a text from the hairdresser she when to earlier this week saying she’s tested positive for covid so my partner while not legally obliged to self isolate should , my younger daughter was still coming tomorrow but she’s recently had chemotherapy so is vulnerable.
In all crappy Christmas, I’ve felt so low lately and been trying to fight off the dark thoughts but life really kicks you when you are down .
I still hope others have a nice Christmas.
glassgirlw
24-12-21, 12:48
Buster it’s really piling on for you. I’m so sorry you’re going through such a rough time. I don’t really have many words of comfort or platitudes to offer up but just wanted to say I’m thinking of you, and as unhappy as it seems right now, I hope you can at least have a peaceful and low anxiety day :hugs:
I've always thought that the sayings that 'everything happens for a reason' or 'we are only sent what we can cope with' are a load of b***ocks. Sometimes life just sucks, and Christmas tends to magnify it.
Can you delay the Christmas dinner until your partner is out of isolation? Have a slightly delayed Christmas? Or a bigger New Year celebration?
As for your tree being disrobed of its decorations, some poor soul who didn't have any decorations for their tree might have taken them? You might have inadvertently made someones Christmas?
I've always thought that the sayings that 'everything happens for a reason' or 'we are only sent what we can cope with' are a load of b***ocks. Sometimes life just sucks, and Christmas tends to magnify it.
Can you delay the Christmas dinner until your partner is out of isolation? Have a slightly delayed Christmas? Or a bigger New Year celebration?
As for your tree being disrobed of its decorations, some poor soul who didn't have any decorations for their tree might have taken them? You might have inadvertently made someones Christmas?
Whilst I don't in any way intend to come across as patronising, indignant or a killjoy, life can essentially suck on pretty much every other day of the year, let alone the 25th of December.
Nowadays I just consider that particular date (and the 1st of January) just another day like any other, and try to appreciate and make the best of life as it comes, even if the festive seasons for me personally these days aren't a patch on what they were when I was younger.
But I fully accept that times and circumstances (both personal and general) change, and like it or not, that's a fact of life.
On the whole it wasn’t a bad day , I tend to build up my hopes and have a vision of the perfect family day and when it falls apart I fall hard , I know some may frown upon this but we told our daughters about the text and they were okay to come and see us , we took a test which was negative and I know this doesn’t mean much and not wanting to sound complacent but life goes on , last year my mum died alone in hospital because of covid and I know it’s risky but how long can you hide away sticking to rules when covid isn’t going away anytime soon , so my daughters came round with the kids to open presents then went after a couple of hours , my younger daughter stayed for dinner , it was good to spend time with her since she moved away .
Today could have been better but could have been a lot worse and I’m grateful for what we did have , I hope some of you lot had a great day .
Sometimes the hope absolutely destroys me thinking how good things could be but hope is all I have that next year will be better and that’s what keeps me around when the dark thoughts come .
Ill hang on to that idea catkins that’s maybe someone took the decorations because they had none , Happy Christmas :hugs:
Buster, emotions run high at the best of times, even more so at Christmas.
I'm pleased to hear your potentially bad day turned around.
You do tend to have pessimistic thoughts and that could come from knocks in life, but like you say, when you have nice moments, take them with open arms and cherish them.
If you really think about this as just another day on the calendar, it's not quite as relevant as any other day.
FMP
WiredIncorrectly
26-12-21, 01:19
Christmas has been great. We didn't have to cook and went to a friends, which was perfect. It was fun sitting around the table. But that's all it is for me, one day to enjoy the company of those you love.
It's for the kids really, if I didn't have a kid I wouldn't bother with it as much. I do enjoy that "Christmas feeling", home alone, a glass of alcohol, chocolates.
Wasn't that painful for me either.
In fact, I actually enjoyed Christmas 2021 a bit more than Christmas 2020.
Probably because 2021 as a whole has generally seen a greater semblance of normality compared to 2020, even though the pandemic still seems to be getting worse before it gets better.
I'm still convinced vaccines have been our biggest saviour during these past 12 months, like it or not.
WiredIncorrectly
26-12-21, 16:34
Wasn't that painful for me either.
In fact, I actually enjoyed Christmas 2021 a bit more than Christmas 2020.
Probably because 2021 as a whole has generally seen a greater semblance of normality compared to 2020, even though the pandemic still seems to be getting worse before it gets better.
I'm still convinced vaccines have been our biggest saviour during these past 12 months, like it or not.
Good to hear Lenco. I'm cooking up a turkey and Christmas dinner today as I didn't get to cook yesterday.
Vaccines ... hmmm maybe. January will be the big kicker to decide whether we're moving forward or not. I'm quite fed up of COVID now Lenco.
Good to hear Lenco. I'm cooking up a turkey and Christmas dinner today as I didn't get to cook yesterday.
Vaccines ... hmmm maybe. January will be the big kicker to decide whether we're moving forward or not. I'm quite fed up of COVID now Lenco.
Aren't we all.
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