My Dog Was Just Diagnosed With Cancer and I don't Know How To Cope...

[mischamoonlight]

I've been a long sufferer of health anxiety and depression and the last couple months have been rough to say the least. I know to some, animals are not something to get upset about, or deeply affected by, but I'm a huge animal lover and they are family to me. 1st November, we lost one of our cats, who had been fighting a rare blood disorder, and kept losing weight until he couldn't eat anymore, and then we had to have him put to sleep. That was really hard, as it had been about 4 years since my last animal had died. I have 3 dogs and 4 cats now, and my Samoyed Husky/Golden Retriever cross was just diagnosed with cancer.

Back in October, I noticed his glands under his neck were swollen, like 2 golf balls. So, he was booked in for a biopsy, and one in his groin too. Stress of waiting for that, then finding out it was inconclusive. Then the stress of him having to have another one (just his neck this time), and coming back yesterday as having cancer.

The vet said about Chemotherapy but it would be stressful him having to come in for bloods, and other things maybe up to twice a week. And he hates the vets, he gets stressed, upset and it disrupts his routine which he likes a lot. So the vet said if it were her dog, she would do palliative, which is what we chose, and he is on Prednicortone for pain relief and to reduce the lumps a little.

Their was no cancer found in the groin lumps, and she said they had shrunk by half which surprised her. So I don't know what to make of that, especially with how large the lumps on his neck are. I'm in a lot of shock at the moment, and I'm bursting out crying at random times, and I'm trying not too so he doesn't sense my distress or that something is wrong.

He doesn't like to be moddle coddled, he is very much a alpha dog, likes doing his own thing, doesn't like fussing, hates anything out of the ordinary, loves walking and meeting new dogs and running, Running and running and eating. He loves his food.

I don't know what I'm trying to ask, or if I'm asking at all. Maybe if anyone has had experience with this, or what may help him. The vet said the chemo would only give him maybe 6 months, but because how much it stressed him out going to the vets, how much it takes to just get him inside a vets as well, was too stressful for him and it may only give him 6 months, but it would be 6 months of constant chemo and coming in every week or twice. On palliative, they said hopefully get him over the Christmas, but that they will give us supplements and probiotics and any other injections he needs without him having to come in often just to help when the medication isn't enough and it comes to that time.

I'm feeling really overwhelmed after just losing our cat a month ago, and now this. I'm trying my best to looks up things to help, like Milk Thistle, low carb/no sugar high protein and omega fatty acid food for him to eat. Bringing him for a different walk everyday, letting him enjoy long walks at the sea, forest, parks, etc. I just feel like I should be doing more.

Sorry, I just wanted to write this out somewhere as I really have no one to speak to about this except my mum really. My dad doesn't care, he's not an animal man, he's very cold and cut off from these types of things. It doesn't effect him basically, so its non-existent trying to get comfort or advise from him.

I just want more time with my dog, him to have more time at least, that even with palliative, he may get longer than the vet said...I'm just trying to cling on desparately for him. He's only 8 years old.

[Pamplemousse]

It won't help doggy :( but have a big virtual hug from me.:hugs:

[Scass]

Sorry Mischa, I have no advice but just wanted to send a virtual hug. [emoji3590]


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[mischamoonlight]

It's okay, and thank you! :hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

I know, it's okay, and thanks Scass! It's probably just my brain trying to process the situation :hugs:

[pulisa]

It's horrible news, Mischa but I think you are doing the right thing. Give him quality of life over quantity any day. Chemo would be aggressive and would ultimately make his life miserable and highly stressful. Focus on what he loves and you will know when he has had enough.

You sound like a wonderfully loving owner who only has his best interests at heart. Your vet sounds caring and decent too. You do what keeps him happy and comfortable and this will involve the vet's recommendations too re pain relief. Your main aim will be to keep him out of pain and able to do what he loves best.:hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

Thanks Pulisa. I'm just hoping to give him enough time to enjoy his life, and be pain free above all else. Keeping to his routine, nothing too stressful and good food and comfort. He only started the Prednicortone today, so it will take a couple days to kick in, and has just finished antiobiotics for an infection, so he's a little stressed at the moment. Thankfully, our vet is 5 mins away for anything, and if we need to change pain relief. She's also giving us supplements and dietery ideas to help as well. She said the medicine should reduce the lumps a little, to allow at least a little more comfort. As I said, its just my brain trying to process the information I've been given. Thanks again Pulisa :hugs:

[pulisa]

The steroids will certainly help but you will know if he is struggling so it's reassuring that your vet is close at hand and keen to help in any way she can.

I'm so sorry, Mischa. It's a horrible shock for you to process but I know you'll give looking after him your all:hugs:

[.Poppy.]

I am so sorry.

Having health anxiety and a dog who has had his share of health problems (and very poor, inbred genes) I fear this one day - but I decided long ago that if it ever happened I wouldn't do chemo either. My boy is also very nervous at the vets - he hates strangers and has high anxiety anyway - and putting him in that stressful position for a few more months wouldn't be kind. You are making the right choice, even if it is incredibly painful.

Now, just live it up. Lots of treats and yummy dinners and walks and playtime. They are never with us long enough, but I'm sure your boy knows you love him very much.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yeah, I agree with the others. Part of doing your best, what is best for him, is weighing up time vs quality of life. It's natural to want both and for him to be with you for many years to come. Sadly you've got a choice to confront and I would be thinking the same. I wouldn't want to see my dog suffering. That moment might come when they look at you for help to stop their suffering. But pain relief can make such a difference to them and restore their normal routine.

[mischamoonlight]

@Pulisa Yeah, I'll probably process it better after a few days, shock is harder to deal with so suddenly. Definitely give him all he needs :hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

@.Poppy. Thank you. My boy really gets stressed going the vets, so much that is upsets him for a couple days afterwards, so the less I can do it the better, and my vet is kind enough to offer pain relief while he sits in the car rather than bring him inside if need be, so that helps. He can also get aggressive if forced, and I don't like doing that to him, so palliative and pain relief, and giving him the best we can with that and supplements and lots of healthy food. This morning he had sausages, and for his dinner he's had boiled chicken, rice and broccoli, and little treats as well. Tomorrow he's going the park again (when he's too tired I'll just let him rest at home, as I know he'll get tired too, and we have a really large garden for him to relax in too.

I hold up hope that he will pick up with the pain relief, and they may cause the lumps to go down a little, and he can fight this for however long he can. That's probably the selfish part of me, as I'm still deeply in denial at the moment from shock but I'll only ever do the right thing by him. And the only comfort is that he has no awareness of what he has, and only wants any pain to stop so he can return to being the alpha of the pack (and seeing me as the runt again lol!) Thank you though, and best thing is good diet, healthy weight, exercise, and love (which your dog obviously has) :hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

@MyNameIsTerry Thank you. Yeah, we made the decision as a family, and our vet too, who says they'll be there for us whenever we need them and offer all the support and pain relief (even going as far as to offer the pain relief in the car so he doesn't get distressed coming into the clinic, as with the pandemic, no one is allowed in, which makes my dogs lash out and act aggressive. So, that isn't an option). Anyway, keeping him to a good, normal routine, he loves meeting dogs on his walks, he loves running, though a little less now as he's gotten older too, and he's on a good healthy diet and he's got an insatiable appetite and eats really well.

It's my selfish part that wants to keep him around for as long as possible, and I have to work on accepting what is ahead of me. It's just taking a bit of time right now. I'll do the right thing though, I always have with all of them, it's just rough and painful. Thanks again though, all the messages are helping me rationalize my anxiety and shock too. :hugs:

[BlueIris]

Nothing I can say, so I'm just sending good wishes. Give your boy a fuss from me?

[pulisa]

@MyNameIsTerry Thank you. Yeah, we made the decision as a family, and our vet too, who says they'll be there for us whenever we need them and offer all the support and pain relief (even going as far as to offer the pain relief in the car so he doesn't get distressed coming into the clinic, as with the pandemic, no one is allowed in, which makes my dogs lash out and act aggressive. So, that isn't an option). Anyway, keeping him to a good, normal routine, he loves meeting dogs on his walks, he loves running, though a little less now as he's gotten older too, and he's on a good healthy diet and he's got an insatiable appetite and eats really well.

It's my selfish part that wants to keep him around for as long as possible, and I have to work on accepting what is ahead of me. It's just taking a bit of time right now. I'll do the right thing though, I always have with all of them, it's just rough and painful. Thanks again though, all the messages are helping me rationalize my anxiety and shock too. :hugs:

Doing the right thing for your much loved dog and not for your benefit makes you a wonderful pet owner, Mischa. He is lucky to have you to care for him at such an important time in his life.

[mischamoonlight]

@BlueIris I know, thank you though. I will do Blue, he's feeling a little better today, so hopefully medicine is helping. :hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

@Pulisa That means a lot, and yeah, and whatever he needs, I'll do my best to give him, thanks again, helps a lot :hugs:

[Sunshine93]

Sending a virtual hug :hugs:!

[mischamoonlight]

@Sunshine93 Thank you! :hugs:

[Catkins]

I'm so very sorry to hear this, I know I'll be devastated if anything happened to my dog. Keep him comfortable and keep him happy. Take care of yourself too.

[Buster70]

Hi ,so sorry you are going through this it is heartbreaking
, I went through a similar situation with our dog who was very much like yours an alpha dog who was comfortable in his own company, it’s a running joke with us that some dogs think they’re human but ours thought he was better than that .
It started with a limp that turned out to be a tumour in his leg , we went to what turned out to be the worst money grabbing vets ever ,they convinced us to have his leg removed and a follow up of chemotherapy which would give him 6 months minimum, like you we couldn’t bear to lose him and went ahead , they let an inexperienced surgeon operate and didn’t keep us informed , ten hours later they rang and said pick him up , the bill had trebled but we still thought it was the right thing to do , his leg was healing after a week and he was running on three legs but he soon went down hill , in my heart I knew the dog I’d looked after for 11 years wasn’t right we slept down stairs with him , back and forth to the vets they kept saying different things , kennel cough etc , after 20 days he went down hill very quickly , we couldn’t get the vets to answer our calls and booked him in an emergency vets in the city , but I laid with him and knew he was dying so I stayed with him and he died with me and my daughter stroking him ( I’m still tearing up writing this after five years ) .We got the Royal college of vets involved and found out the surgeon knew the cancer had spread but didn’t tell us ,they also lied and changed documents to cover their tracks .
with hindsight we would never have put him through the operation, we were never offered the option of palliative care and then being put to sleep when the time came but this is what we should have been advised to do which it seems your vet has , you know your dog better than anyone and I’m sure even though you would love to have him around for much longer you would not want him to suffer in any way , I’m sure you’ve given him a good life and you will know when he’s had enough , we have another dog who grew up with him and she’s now 15 so we know she won’t be around for ever , she has lumps and bumps all over the place but nothing that’s bothering her , she’s happy ish she still goes out and likes fuss but there won’t be any operations or messing with her now she doesn’t like the vets either so why upset her , it won’t be easy but we will lose her one day but this time it will be done right not trying to hang on to her for ourselves .
ps our old dogs ashes are still in our living room because none of my family would let me scatter him because they didn’t want him being alone .
Bloody pets they break your heart .

[mischamoonlight]

@Catkins Thank you. Yeah, I can understand, and I'm having a hard time coming to terms with it at the moment, but I know I have to keep from crumbling because I don't want to stress him out. :hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

@Buster70 Thank you for sharing that, and I am sorry you also had to go through all that, but glad your dog had you there when they needed you. Yeah, I think I'm just desperately in denial at the moment, and I extremely sensitive to things like this anyway, and I become withdrawn and very depressed. I'm working on that, as he is a very sturdy, robust kind of male dog. He doesn't like fuss, he doesn't like to be cuddled too much, though he enjoys us being around, he is very much his own boss and our two female dogs are his pack (though the little one thinks she's the boss). I think to him, he is more just irritated by not being able to do what he use to, like running etc as much. His lumps are in his neck, their quite swollen and hard so he is snoring when asleep, and I think that annoys him because when I try to comfort him he growls (he's always done this, he doesn't like mothering of any kind). I use to say to my mum ''he should have been born as a wolf in the wild'' because I think he honestly doesn't like being a ''pet'', though he is more family than a pet.

He's going the vet tomorrow for a check up, to see if the Prednicortone is helping (day 3 today), as he is excessively panting which is a side effect. His appetite is great, he's eating organic wild salmon, mackerel, organ meat, mainly liver. And lean meats like chicken with rice and vegetables (broccoli and carrots mainly). Hopefully the vet will have the supplements for us as well. And if he isn't in much pain, he'll go for a walk in the forest tomorrow too, followed by an afternoon of napping and quiet time.

My mum is being the rational one with this. I'm just hoping he gets more time than is estimated so he can enjoy some form of life, but that is me again being selfish (I know), but at the same time, I know I won't prolong any suffering if/when it comes to it. Not with the type of dog he is, who I know is very alpha like I said (reminds me of those tough old dogs in western movies). And when I'm going through a particularly emotional time, I try and think of this quote:



“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.”

― D.H. Lawrence, The Complete Poems of D.H. Lawrence (https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/32283)


Don't know why, but that has always stuck with me. And when it comes to my dog, it seems to fit him perfectly.
Thanks again :hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

Update: My dog went the vets this evening. She was very overrun, and a little short today, so I'm going to make a phone consultation during to discuss more things I wanted to talk about. Anyway, he was weighed and he hasn't lost any weight, his throat is still clear, as is his lungs. Heart is good. The lumps have no gotten any bigger, which is a positive for now. He is still on his medication, and we are doing the high protein low carb diet, so tonight he is having boiled chicken with rice and vegetables. He had fresh mackerel for lunch and tomorrow he will have some liver for snacks.

The panting is due to the medication but also because he is a highly stressed dog, and gets excited easily. So far, he is doing well, but any changes we will bring him in for anything he needs. I'm still super stressed but working hard for him.

[pulisa]

You're a wonderful owner, Mischa..Look after your own health too though?:hugs:

[Buster70]

You dog eats and gets looked after better than me , and they say it’s a dogs life like that’s a bad thing , he’s a lucky pooch , many a time with my old and current dogs I will end up sitting on the floor rather than disturb the dogs laying in my seat , years ago when I had a breakdown my dog was the only reason I got up and started going out again , I’ve always felt like he saved me and we saved him because like all of ours they were rescues that where having a shite life .
Last night our alcoholic neighbour came round drunk and crying , she asked to borrow money because her dog was very poorly and the local vet that let us down wouldn’t see her dog with upfront payment , an hour later she was back and he’d been out to sleep ,me and my partner were in tears as we’d looked after him when she’s been locked up or in hospital, I’ve taken him home so many times when I’ve found him wondering the streets , he’d always get excited to see me because we’d take him out , he’d even jump in my van if the door were open , I’ve taken him to the vets in lockdown and only yesterday I was fussing him in the street , he was a Staffie and they have such a high pain threshold so you don’t know they are ill until they stop eating and there tail stops wagging , I feel that his owner will soon follow him she’s only 35 but in the last stages of alcoholism the dog was all she had left her partner is in prison and she lost her kids years ago , apart from the booze the dog was all she cared about and the only one that stayed loyal to her , dogs are incredible creatures I can’t imagine my life without them .
If your dog is still eating , drinking and wants to go out then he’s still okay , you only have to look in their eyes to know when it’s time but hopefully that won’t be for a while and you can spoil him rotten , don’t write him off just yet we’ve done that earlier this year with our old dog and she’s okay again now being a stubborn pain in the arse that she’s always been .
Like Pulisa said make sure you don’t neglect yourself while Looking after him .

[Speranza]

Hi, just to send you lots and lots of love. All you can do is enjoy every day. I completely agree with what you're doing. It is dreadful to lose our pets but in my opinion it's not the kindest thing to prolong their lives with interventions they don't understand and probably wouldn't choose.
As far as we know, animals don't sit there worrying about dying one day - death is just what happens. So your dog isn't suffering psychologically (and will know you are hiding tears, just cry them and let him comfort you or he will be worried).

The only other thing I would say is, think ahead NOW so that when the time comes you have made your hard decision. I once read that it is better to take an animal to be put to sleep a week early than a day too late, and I can testify this is true, having done both.

Talk to the vet about whether they will be able to come to the house so that your darling dog never has to make that dreaded trip again. You will be in bits and your dog will be so much more peaceful.

God bless. One day your dog will leap over to meet you and you will run together for ever. XXX

[Scass]

Update: My dog went the vets this evening. She was very overrun, and a little short today, so I'm going to make a phone consultation during to discuss more things I wanted to talk about. Anyway, he was weighed and he hasn't lost any weight, his throat is still clear, as is his lungs. Heart is good. The lumps have no gotten any bigger, which is a positive for now. He is still on his medication, and we are doing the high protein low carb diet, so tonight he is having boiled chicken with rice and vegetables. He had fresh mackerel for lunch and tomorrow he will have some liver for snacks.

The panting is due to the medication but also because he is a highly stressed dog, and gets excited easily. So far, he is doing well, but any changes we will bring him in for anything he needs. I'm still super stressed but working hard for him.

Sounds like you are doing everything right and that he is definitely being pampered. Like Pulisa said though, look after yourself too so that you have the strength to look after him x


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[mischamoonlight]

@Pulisa I'll try, I'm probably a little run down at the moment, but am managing it. Thanks Pulisa :hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

@Buster70 I try too lol! Yeah, many of my animals are because they've been dumped or simply abandoned by people, and left with us. The last time was a neighbour who had a drug problem, and he had left his dog so long, that by the time I got home from work, myself and my mum had to pressure him in us taking him to the vets. Sadly, that dog died in our arms at the vet. I had been paying his dogs medication bills just because I knew he wouldn't, and it was a heart medication for a couple years before this.

My dog is doing okay today, he was really well when out walking today. He was like a wolf today, intensely on the sniff of something. Tired by the end of it, so we got the steps for the car out today. Thanks again, and you are a good owner too, that's very clear from what I've read :hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

@Speranza Hi! Thank you so much! Yeah, I'm already planning in advance just in case. At the moment, he seems okay, but I know that could change, as this is something very unpredictable. But yeah, I'm thinking of every eventuality right now :hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

@Scass Thanks Scass! I will do, taking it day by day right now. Right now, myself and my mum are taking shifts, I'm taking care of him during the day, she's doing the evening, then at night he sleeps in with me (though he likes his own space and not on the bed, even though I bought steps as well :)) Thanks again, I'm taking my couple hours at night to just watch a movie, listen to music. Mainly just to catch up on lost sleep. :hugs:

[mischamoonlight]

Just a little update. He's doing okay today, he hasn't been panting as much (still panting), and eating great. He had a bit of diarrhea last night but hopefully that is just due to the food and medicine, and keeping an eye on it for now. He had swelling under his jaw, or fluid but it seems to be dispersing a little today. I'm ringing the vets tomorrow so I can get a phone consultation to ask a few questions, as the vet I spoke to on Saturday was very dismissive and I want to report that also, especially given the circumstances.

He rested all day today, as he needed it and I didn't want to force him to go for walkies if he was tired. Taking it day by day.