Is there hope?

[BlueEeyes]

So I've been really going through it with my HA, over the past week I have really spiralled from one thing to another. My last bout was a year ago, sometimes it can be a year sometimes longer but anytime either myself or a loved one becomes unwell it starts again. Also since the pandemic I've become more worried about the world and where it's going ect as well as climate change all sorts of things that could possibly negatively effect mine or my families lives. I've also noticed that my general mood/depression has become a lot worse over the past couple of years to the point that I was just existing not living, I have no real enjoyment in anything anymore and have zero motivation, I've pilled on weight and have no interest in anything really. I have managed to take care of my children and force myself to go out once a week to meet my mum and sister but other than school runs that's it. Now my HA has hit and I'm terrified that this is my life now, that my future is full of fear and pain. I'm 37 so not "old" but getting older and the only person that truly understands me and who i am most close to is my mum she is 67 now and I live in fear of her getting ill and or passing I don't feel I could go on without her. Then there's the fact that as I age I'm likely to get more illnesses too which also terrifies me. So is there any hope? What can i do? Are there ways of learning to cope with these thoughts and feelings? I've done CBT in the past but the issue i had was once that bout had passed i was too afraid to carry on because it reminded me of my fears and what i had just been through, like i want to just try to forget about in case i set it off again. I want to live again I want to feel enjoyment and happiness again, I want to have hope . I want to give my children a fun life 😢

[nomorepanic]

Have a read of the sticky threads in the HA forum or try these:

https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?211324-9-FREE-CBT-ebooks-for-Health-Anxiety


https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/healthanxiety


http://cbt4panic.org/

[ErinKC]

Have you spoken to your doctor about medication? If therapy hasn't been effective I might be a good start. I know so many people who have had success.

[BlueEeyes]

Thank you nomorepanic I will take a look at those.

Thank you Erin, yes I am on medication, Venlafaxine , propranolol and a tiny dose of clonazepam, which pooped out years ago so have been very slowly tapering, I take half of a 0.5mg tablet, have been on that dose for over a year though. I will talk to my GP about changing my AD I pray that it will get better

[lior]

There is always hope. You got through this before and you will again. Look at your track record :)

I haven't had health anxiety, but I live with chronic illness that stops me from being able to work. It affects my life a lot. It's rare to get this illness. The reality when people get it is to grieve then accept it. Life changes but it continues. Death of others is similar - it's painful and sad, it changes life, but over time we learn to accept reality.

Everyone has the capacity to adapt. You have greater power than you know. In the unlikely eventuality that you did get ill, you would find a way to cope.

The bad things that have happened in my life are not the things that I was worried about. I did think once, wow, ME would be a really awful illness to get, and then I got it... even though that fear did come true, I have truly made the best of my life as it is. The worst can happen and you have the power to survive. You may not feel your power right now but you have it within you.

Can you look at your life and see how well you have adapted to adverse circumstances?

[BlueEeyes]

Thank you for your reply Lior, your words do give me hope, I know that I am stronger than I give myself credit for because of everything I have endured and overcome. I guess whilst I'm going through this its hard to feel/remember. I just need to find a way to ignore the negative thoughts and listen to the rational positive one's. My weight is a huge concern for me and I feel that if I were able to get that under control then a huge part of my worries would subside. Plus it would obviously be a lot more healthier for me. I just feel like I'm in a total rut right now, I'm at that point where I worry about something finally manage to rationalise then something else comes up, I've been like this for a week now and it's exhausting! Praying that things will start to lift soon especially with Christmas around the corner 😔