View Full Version : Anxiety when someone goes away.
LittleLionMan
11-12-21, 08:28
Does anyone else get an increase in anxiety when someone goes away? It’s worse when they are further away, or when they are away for a long time?
In this instance it’s the only person in the house I find any comfort in? What do you do about it?
LittleLionMan
08-02-22, 13:28
This situation has reared it’s head again, with the people going away now for 3 days. I don’t know how to get over it. The 3 days of constant anxiety I have in store set me back every time, and I don’t know what to do about it.
So what feelings are going through your head when you are on your own in the house? Feelings which you only have when you are alone?
LittleLionMan
08-02-22, 14:40
It’s really strange, it’s like I feel exposed. I’m constantly aware of how far away they are, and the fact they aren’t here. If they were 20 minutes down the road, it wouldn’t bother me being on my own, I spend an awful lot of time on my own.
It’s not even like I’ve ever avoided this situation, I sit and tolerate it every time, but it’s still continues to be a huge issue. Constant anxiety, I can’t sleep, and struggle to eat, every time they are far away.
Do you worry in case something untoward might happen to them during their time away, or do you worry that something untoward might happen to you whilst you're home alone, or both?
LittleLionMan
08-02-22, 16:56
Do you worry in case something untoward might happen to them during their time away, or do you worry that something untoward might happen to you whilst you're home alone, or both?
I have absolutely no idea. The thoughts aren’t that clear, its just ‘oh sh1t, they are away’, accompanied by enormous amounts of anxiety. I honestly don’t get it.
Anxiety focusing on what though? A general feeling of being unsafe/"untethered"? No on site reassurance should you need it/ "just in case"?
It’s really strange, it’s like I feel exposed. I’m constantly aware of how far away they are, and the fact they aren’t here. If they were 20 minutes down the road, it wouldn’t bother me being on my own, I spend an awful lot of time on my own.
It’s not even like I’ve ever avoided this situation, I sit and tolerate it every time, but it’s still continues to be a huge issue. Constant anxiety, I can’t sleep, and struggle to eat, every time they are far away.
"Tolerate", "Huge", "Constant", "Struggle"...All very emotive, negative words. You are almost setting yourself up for "disaster". What would "disaster" mean to you? What is your worst case scenario?
LittleLionMan
08-02-22, 20:13
Anxiety focusing on what though? A general feeling of being unsafe/"untethered"? No on site reassurance should you need it/ "just in case"?
I honestly don’t know, it just flares up every time.
The longevity of it always sets me back too.
LittleLionMan
08-02-22, 20:15
"Tolerate", "Huge", "Constant", "Struggle"...All very emotive, negative words. You are almost setting yourself up for "disaster". What would "disaster" mean to you? What is your worst case scenario?
I don’t know really, it’s not like I get any comfort from them or that they even help me when I’m struggling.
Well yeah, because I’m describing what it’s like… I’m trying to be a lot lighter than that with myself.
I suppose it's just the knowing that someone is there actually in the same space as you? Maybe you could re evaluate mentally the significance of them being there? It sounds as though they aren't there for you emotionally so what purpose do they serve in terms of managing your anxiety?
LittleLionMan
09-02-22, 08:12
I think so. There must be an element of me feeling safer when they are around, a bit of backup I suppose. It’s rough going though.
You don't get any emotional backup though?
Do you feel more susceptible to intrusive thoughts if there's no one around..Just you and your thoughts? No distractions?
Have you made a plan for what you are going to do today?
LittleLionMan
09-02-22, 08:47
No, I’m saying that I know it logically doesn’t make sense.
Not really, I just get an increase in anxiety symptoms. I’m anxious all the time anyway, so it could just be something (anything) else for it to land on I suppose.
Kind of, I have work to do, but I’m struggling to focus on that, I have to do my horse racing bets and enter my tipping competition, and then Villa are live on tele tonight, so that might prove helpful.
That's a bonus. There's another Boris party pic doing the rounds so if you need some entertainment this afternoon....
I know how hard it is to focus on anything. Where have they gone this time?
LittleLionMan
09-02-22, 14:14
Yeah, Dominic Cummings has just tweeted that there are far worse doing the rounds that will come out, so that might be interesting.
I have a horrible project in front of me too, so it’s particularly hard to get my head in to. I’ve just eaten though, so that’s something. They have gone to Cardiff to watch the Rocky Horror Show.
I haven't seen that in years. Was always such a tremendously good time, though - I last went for my 22nd birthday in Newcastle, I thought I didn't have any friends at uni and then a bunch of people showed up and giftbombed me outside the classroom that morning.
...Nearly 23 years ago. Blargh.
LittleLionMan
09-02-22, 15:10
I was in the engineering department, so my uni was basically a boys club… There were only 2 ladies across the entire department. That must have been a bit of a surprise then! Did you enjoy uni? I’ve heard the show is a bit mad isn’t it? I’ve never seen it!
Honestly, it's incredibly vanilla and only really sheltered people think it's in the least bit transgressive. I was a very sheltered kid, though, so it felt naughty at the time and I still have very fond memories of it.
LittleLionMan
09-02-22, 16:04
Ah right, be interesting to see what they will make of it then!
Is this the Frank N Furter show? I've never seen it but it seems to have run for ages throughout the decades. I hope your family enjoy the show, Phil.
I'm glad Kurt Zouma is getting a kicking. May it be prolonged, far reaching and hit him where it really hurts.
LittleLionMan
09-02-22, 18:17
I have no idea what it is to be fair, I’ve just seen the fliers with men in stockings and suspenders and stuff. Haha!
Yeah, throw the book at him!
I can’t believe they played him last night!
I'm glad Kurt Zouma is getting a kicking. May it be prolonged, far reaching and hit him where it really hurts.My thoughts entirely Pulisa. And I can't believe David Moyes saw fit to ignore it and still play him.
PHR, I can understand your being alone affects you negatively. My wife is so often asleep in bed that effectively I'm single. I think in those situations our anxiety can have a free rein because it fills those voids. I attempt to counter it by nipping out to local stores and just buying anything, or doing my YouTube workout. I think I read a while ago that you exercise?
I reckon PHR is enjoying his Villa match at the moment!! He's not like us supporting teams scrabbling around the Prem basement!:D
I reckon PHR is enjoying his Villa match at the moment!! He's not like us supporting teams scrabbling around the Prem basement!:DIf we're in the basement Pulisa, you're at least at the top of the steps. We're down amongst the coal dust and the woodlice :lac:
You've worried about this before. As suggested then and again now, finding distractions to help you occupy and pass the time would be beneficial ;)
FMP
LittleLionMan
10-02-22, 00:55
You've worried about this before. As suggested then and again now, finding distractions to help you occupy and pass the time would be beneficial ;)
FMP
Which is exactly what I’ve tried to do.
LittleLionMan
10-02-22, 01:01
I’ve handled it OK really, until now.
Can’t sleep, panic attacks, not fun.
I’ve handled it OK really, until now.
Can’t sleep, panic attacks, not fun.
The same advice still applies. Its what you have to do to overcome the anxiety associated with it :shrug:
FMP
Were people going for Zouma? I really hope so.
Adidas have withdrawn their sponsorship, he's been vilified by everyone including his own fans. The cats thankfully have been taken away by the RSPCA. Goodness knows what abuse they have already suffered. Hopefully he'll be prosecuted for animal cruelty.
Cats Lives Matter..certainly more than his pitiful existence.
LittleLionMan
10-02-22, 08:14
Were people going for Zouma? I really hope so.
He got clattered at one point, and whilst he was down injured, the crowd were singing “that’s how your cat feels!”. He is a total scumbag.
I’ve handled it OK really, until now.
Can’t sleep, panic attacks, not fun.
Panic attacks won't harm you no matter how often or how many of them you have. I'm sure the adrenaline from tonight's football will have contributed to how you felt in the night? It's tricky "processing" positive adrenaline with an anxiety disorder. Hopefully sleep will have kicked in anyway.
I try and think of panic attacks as a tedious manifestation of too much needless stress. A wake up call to myself to sort myself out by whatever means. You've probably got a far more extensive range of "means" than me though! When is your new car coming?
Adidas have withdrawn their sponsorship, he's been vilified by everyone including his own fans. The cats thankfully have been taken away by the RSPCA. Goodness knows what abuse they have already suffered. Hopefully he'll be prosecuted for animal cruelty.
Cats Lives Matter..certainly more than his pitiful existence.
I wonder if a 'real' Cats' Lives Matter movement will spring up following this atrocity, especially as people like to bandwagon-jump these days?
Wow, that's a spiteful thing to say.
LittleLionMan
10-02-22, 08:53
Yeah, I think all that happened is I had a huge kebab too late, the football was insane and I won £250 on a crazy bet.
I then went to bed too late, and I do this thing where I realise I need to go to sleep so I almost try and rush myself to sleep if that makes sense, which obviously backfires.
The new car comes end of March / start of April.
LittleLionMan
10-02-22, 08:56
I wonder if a 'real' Cats' Lives Matter movement will spring up following this atrocity, especially as people like to bandwagon-jump these days?
That’s a strange take! Have you seen the video?
He’s literally drop kicking it around his kitchen, and getting his son to put it on the table so he can smack it back off.
LittleLionMan
11-02-22, 16:54
They all came back last night, and I’ve been worse today than I have been at any point they were away. Trying to crack on with work, but I’ve had that kind of tired crashing feeling, gradually getting worse all day. Very odd. Guessing I’ve just exhausted myself.
LittleLionMan
11-02-22, 16:55
They didn’t think much to the show either, though it was boring, but loved Cardiff.
They all came back last night, and I’ve been worse today than I have been at any point they were away. Trying to crack on with work, but I’ve had that kind of tired crashing feeling, gradually getting worse all day. Very odd. Guessing I’ve just exhausted myself.
So maybe this is evidence that you don't need them to be around you all the time? I regularly have that tired crashing feeling but don't feel it's odd or significant. It just happens.
LittleLionMan
11-02-22, 22:54
I’ve kind of shaken it off now, it’s probably just from a few ‘high anxiety’ days. I can’t function well enough to concentrate on my work when I’m like it, so I can’t really act like it’s not significant. I’m OK though.
Concentrating on anything is always a challenge for me but that's how I'm wired so I can't really afford to think too much about it. I try and put things in perspective and slow myself down if I can..but I know it's not easy.
Have you got any horse racing to look forward to today?
LittleLionMan
12-02-22, 08:41
Yeah, it’s one of them, where jobs that would normally take me an hour, take 5 hours, because I’m all detached and just can’t do it. Never mind, hey.
Today, I have one horrible job to finish, then another little project I want to look at, I have a few bets on the horses, the football will be on, my nephew wants to watch the masked singer final, and if I’m feeling up to it, I might get a mate round for a takeaway and the football.
We are hoping to run 2 of my racehorses run on March 5th, so that’s going to be a crazy day… could be a good double bet though!
I actually invited a date to that huge party last weekend, so that was a bit of a big deal for me. It’s been a stressy week (not all for bad reasons), so it’s getting that balance between pushing my boundaries and chilling out I think.
What have you got planned?
I've got a tricky afternoon ahead with my children and tomorrow have got to deal with an awkward situation but hoping that Palace get a point at least this afternoon. My daughter's not very interested in this season's Masked Singer but we may give "Starstruck" a go.
So there may be romance in the air for you?!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
March 5th could be a big Pay Day for you! And something to distract you in a positive way?!
Wow, that's a spiteful thing to say.
I didn't intend to be spiteful.
Please accept my apologies.
Pulisa, Starstruck is lovely - really sweet.
I think that there are 2 "Starstruck" shows ...This one's the new "Stars In Their Eyes" talent show.
I was talking about the Rose Matafeo sitcom, oops.
LittleLionMan
12-02-22, 17:56
I've got a tricky afternoon ahead with my children and tomorrow have got to deal with an awkward situation but hoping that Palace get a point at least this afternoon. My daughter's not very interested in this season's Masked Singer but we may give "Starstruck" a go.
So there may be romance in the air for you?!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
March 5th could be a big Pay Day for you! And something to distract you in a positive way?!
I hope today has gone OK.
Palace got a decent point. Brentford not an easy place to go.
Yeah, I imagine that Starstruck will be right up Freddie’s street, so I will be giving that a go!
I’m not sure really, I’m trying to keep the pressure off it, but she’s pretty perfect for me to be honest. We get on brilliantly, and she’s genuinely just kind, which isn’t something I have a lot of around me here (it actually feels odd!).
I’ll let you know which of the horses should win, I’m expecting a decent price from both of them.
You can't beat kindness for a "quality"..So....any plans for Monday?:winks:
LittleLionMan
12-02-22, 20:36
You can't beat kindness for a "quality"..So....any plans for Monday?:winks:
Haha, no… not yet anyway.
"Not yet"...:winks: 24 hours of planning for you tomorrow then!
LittleLionMan
12-03-22, 13:05
People away again, panic through the roof again.
I really wish this would stop happening, it’s terrifying. My head just goes off on one.
LittleLionMan
01-04-22, 08:51
I have been pushing really hard this week, and achieved plenty, but the simple issue of people going away has sent me spiralling again. It’s really starting to get to me. I don’t understand why it’s an issue! I sit with, and deal with this scenario regularly, and spend lots of time on my own, it just seems as though when they are out of reach or too far away, anxiety comes.
I’m so frustrated because I’ve been trying so hard, and been doing so much better lately, that I really don’t need the setback that 3 days of panic attacks will bring. I’m so frustrated and scared.
LittleLionMan
01-04-22, 11:02
There have been no point to all my efforts lately, no point whatsoever when I can just be knocked off my perch like this.
It all counts. Sometimes these things take a while to work, and sometimes we have setbacks.
LittleLionMan
01-04-22, 11:18
It all counts. Sometimes these things take a while to work, and sometimes we have setbacks.
Thank you mate. I know, I’m just really frustrated.
I’ve made so many changes over the last couple of weeks, I’ve completely changed how I do things, and it seems to have really paid off, but then my reaction to them going away is worse than ever.
With how my anxiety is now, I’m dreading the next few days. I really don’t want this set back.
Hope you are OK?
Mostly? Got some of my old obsessions coming back and they're getting on my nerves. Have been learning lots of new stuff, though, and the anxiety is currently under control.
Believe me, I get angry with myself for needing to check my phone battery every 3 minutes when I know the only reason it didn't charge is a dodgy charger.
LittleLionMan
01-04-22, 11:36
Really? Do they pop up more when you are anxious, or just randomly?
I’m trying to play a video game to distract myself, but can’t even concentrate on that. Don’t know what to do really, the anxiety is getting bad, and they haven’t been gone that long.
Honestly, it feels random to me but there's probably just something I haven't picked up on.
I know it's tough, but try to accept the anxiety? Plus you know you can message me any time you want.
LittleLionMan
01-04-22, 11:57
It’s odd the things that get you isn’t it. I think I have an idea where my reaction to them going away stems from, but it was no major thing.
Yeah, I’m trying to just carry on as normal, but it’s not really happening. I’m hoping that after these initial panic attacks things settle down.
I will do thanks. I’ll drop you a message later.
LittleLionMan
01-04-22, 12:33
On a positive note, I properly chilled out last night. Did nothing really, just dossed about, lazy as hell, and it was really nice to be able to do that. I haven’t done that in ages. I also slept really well, so it was good to be in that place for a bit… calm before the storm. Haha!
One thing I've learned is to enjoy those times while they're there. They'll come again soon.
How are the horses?
LittleLionMan
01-04-22, 13:25
First time in months I’ve been like that. I almost saw it as a reward for all the effort I’ve been putting in, that I was able to let myself off like that.
Horses are good thanks. One ran the other day, but he was just getting fit. There will be one racing most weeks soon, which will be nice.
I’ve got a huge gamble on tonight, so hoping that wins!
Crossing everything for you!
I had a migraine aura a week or so back, so now I'm sort of driving myself nuts waiting for the next one. I've cut right back on the caffeine, though, so fingers crossed it was just a blip.
LittleLionMan
01-04-22, 13:45
Thanks.
I’ve been really throwing all my safely behaviours out in the last couple of weeks. Have been smashing my work, and doing a few things that I would have been hesitant to before. I think that’s why this has hit me so hard, I almost feel ‘exposed’ to it all.
What’s a ‘migraine aura’?
Very specific visual disturbances that can be but aren't always the precursor to a migraine headache - look up scintillating scotoma if you're interested.
I used to get them very regularly, but up until the other week I hadn't had one in a few years. I'm fairly confident about what my triggers are - overdoing caffeine makes them more likely to happen, but what actually triggers them tends to be strong emotion, sudden loud noise or, most often, bright light such as the glare from something shiny.
So glad your work's going well.
LittleLionMan
01-04-22, 14:12
I’ll have a look. Apart from the usual tension headaches, they aren’t something I struggle with luckily. The worst ones I had were when I had Covid.
Work has been amazing. Part of my ‘living better’ drive was to be up, dressed, and sat at my desk working by 7:30 every day. Then to actually concentrate on my work, hoping it would give me my evenings back with a slightly satisfied feeling that I’ve had a productive day, and it had helped me. I also ate at the same time every day. I’ve basically been pushing through my anxiety to get a proper routine in place. It hasn’t been easy at all, but it had started to make a difference.
I’ve text you my bets tonight… that will be adrenaline if that wins! Haha!
I'll look forward to it - I've got zero work motivation today.
LittleLionMan
01-04-22, 15:09
Has it not come through?
Unfortunately not, it'll probably come through once I'm outside work. Insta and Discord both act up horribly when I'm in the college.
LittleLionMan
09-04-22, 23:12
Panic through the roof tonight, the worst I have been in a very long time, and I couldn’t figure out why, until it dawned on me that everyone goes away tomorrow for a few days. This is becoming such a problem for me, and I don’t know what to do about it.
Maybe just accept it and remember that you always get through these few days of being on your own? Anticipating them brings on panic. I'm surprised that you had to think about why you had high anxiety last night though?
LittleLionMan
10-04-22, 09:03
It just hadn’t really occurred to me. I wasn’t consciously worrying about it, if that makes sense, so it caught me off guard when all the panic started. The last time they went away, I had a night where I was probably better than I had been in a long time, so I think I kinda thought I had got over it.
I do keep reminding myself of that, but it’s almost like it won’t go in. Haha! I’ve got plenty of evidence to show that there is no reason for it to be an issue. Last night and this morning have been the worst I’ve been in a long time though, this week has been dreadful after last weekend, and it’s ended all the progress I had been making. It’s so frustrating.
This has happened several times now and just think you have a 100% success rate in getting through their absences. 100%!!!!
You have never faltered once. Yes you may feel rubbish but you ALWAYS get through, each and every time.
LittleLionMan
10-04-22, 12:50
Thanks. That’s what I keep telling myself… it just won’t seem to go in! Haha.
I think that’s what is frustrating me. When we talk about exposure, I do this for a few days at least, every couple of weeks. I’m almost amazed it’s still a problem. I don’t tell my family I’m struggling, I just stay silent and let them go on with their business, so it’s not like I’m deploying safety behaviours specifically around it either. It’s a frustrating one.
It just hadn’t really occurred to me. I wasn’t consciously worrying about it, if that makes sense, so it caught me off guard when all the panic started. The last time they went away, I had a night where I was probably better than I had been in a long time, so I think I kinda thought I had got over it.
I do keep reminding myself of that, but it’s almost like it won’t go in. Haha! I’ve got plenty of evidence to show that there is no reason for it to be an issue. Last night and this morning have been the worst I’ve been in a long time though, this week has been dreadful after last weekend, and it’s ended all the progress I had been making. It’s so frustrating.
"It's ended all the progress I had been making"? Only if you want it to and that's purely your take on it. Why not rethink what you have said and say "I've had a bit of a blip this week but so what? It won't ruin my life and i'll get over it....as I always do".
Even Villa can have a crap run..but it doesn't mean relegation is on the cards:D
LittleLionMan
10-04-22, 14:00
I mean, the 3 days of panic like last weekend pushes me backwards, the same as this is doing. I’m trying to not let it, but it’s disheartening.
I will try and see it as a blip.
I’m going to start training again tomorrow, as I’ve managed to put about a stone and a half back on whilst I’ve been doing better, and exercise is something I know I can add in to help me.
Haha, I’m not sold on Gerrard at all… bloody useless! Your boys are going well though!
Stevie G is untouchable though! The next Liverpool manager in the making....Maybe:D
Beating Arsenal was amazing..Probably lose today though!
LittleLionMan
10-04-22, 14:58
Have you been reading my Twitter feed? Haha.
I catch pelters the second I criticise him.
I thought you would win today, Leicester haven’t been great lately.
Inevitable to get the comedown after Monday night, I suppose.
I can imagine that criticism of the Great Stevie G would be outlawed by the Villa Faithful but he hasn't really proved himself at all in the Prem. He's a bit like Lampard only a bit more arrogant.
LittleLionMan
10-04-22, 18:05
Yep, he’s done nothing, gets everything wrong, and then just says the players aren’t good enough. It’s baffling.
Yep, he’s done nothing, gets everything wrong, and then just says the players aren’t good enough. It’s baffling.
Not really. He takes the fans for mugs and lives off his reputation as Liverpool's "finest" captain and leader. He's a protected species.
LittleLionMan
11-04-22, 12:17
Yep. Blokes an idiot.
Think I’ve sussed out what ‘went wrong’ on Saturday. This bug has turned nasty (I was putting it down to anxiety). My family who have gone away are all coming back, as they are all ill. Even my dad is off work, first time in about 10 years.
I had a nasty bug last week (not covid) and am finding it very hard to cope with constant agitation now. I hope you and your family are soon feeling better. At least you will have them back very soon. Take care, Phil. Don't go out for runs until you feel stronger?
Phil, Pulisa, feel better? There's a lot of really nasty stuff going around; I'm still wiped and coughing from a cold that hit a few weeks back.
Sending positive vibes in both your directions.
Thanks, Blue. We're probably all suffering from the backlash of no "other" bugs doing the rounds over the past 2 years?
I think so, Pulisa I've had more colds since September than I've had in about the past five years.
LittleLionMan
12-04-22, 10:51
I had a nasty bug last week (not covid) and am finding it very hard to cope with constant agitation now. I hope you and your family are soon feeling better. At least you will have them back very soon. Take care, Phil. Don't go out for runs until you feel stronger?
I’m in a similar place, the tiredness and feeling worn out. I’m OK for a bit, and then crash a bit when anxiety comes. How are you feeling now?
I had to take diazepam yesterday afternoon which helped me slow down and be able to concentrate. Very tired today but I prefer this to the 24/7 wired feeling which I find unbearable. I don't "lose" anxiety ever really..Just manage it.
LittleLionMan
12-04-22, 19:30
I quite like being exhausted, sometimes I can be so exhausted that it almost feels like my mind and body can’t be bothered to kick off as much.
I’m either anxious or derealised 24/7. I can count on one hand the amount of times I haven’t felt one or the other in the last 12 months or so.
I’m properly trying to dismiss the derealised feeling as a tired mind at the moment. See it for what it is instead of the scary stories that come with it.
Sorry you are struggling like that, anything in particular knocking you about?
Responsibility and too much of it, I suppose.
LittleLionMan
13-04-22, 07:53
Were you an anxious person before life dealt you all this responsibility?
Is there any way of offloading any of it on to anyone else?
I've always been anxious, even as a young child. No..I don't have a support system. Not all carers do despite all the hype.
LittleLionMan
13-04-22, 19:19
I can imagine it’s a lot to constantly wrestle with, and difficult to make time to look after yourself I bet.
I've always been anxious, even as a young child. No..I don't have a support system. Not all carers do despite all the hype.Ain't that the truth Pulisa.
We struggle through as best we can I think folks. I get those DR feelings now and again PHR, they tend to go in phases. Strangely when 'anxiety proper' kicks in I find they vanish.
LittleLionMan
13-04-22, 21:08
Yep, same here fish. The only time I’m not derealised is when I’m really anxious… partly why I find it so difficult to see it purely as an anxiety symptom, without thinking there is something seriously wrong with me. It makes me think such weird things, questioning and confused by everything.
I've always been anxious, even as a young child. No..I don't have a support system. Not all carers do despite all the hype.
Ain’t this the truth. My sister is my mothers carer and she has to fight for every damn thing :mad:
LittleLionMan
14-04-22, 11:22
Basically my anxiety raises when I am alone, I feel much more better when I am with someone, I can't sleep if there is no one in my house, so when everyone leaves from home, I am almost in panic and praying for somebody to came home
Same here! My sleep suffers drastically when I’m on my own too. It’s tough isn’t it. The trouble then is if I’m on my own for say a weekend, it’s basically 3 days of panic which takes ages to recover from, by which time they all inevitably go away again.
It’s like I never get chance to recover.
LittleLionMan
29-04-22, 08:20
Same again this weekend. I’m sure they do it on purpose. Think there has been 1 weekend in the last 10 or so where people have been about.
They are entitled to do what they want, Phil and maybe they need to get away? You aren't being forced to go with them and they always come back.
What are you going to do with yourself over the weekend?
LittleLionMan
29-04-22, 09:07
Yeah, I know. It’s just wearing me out, and it’s brought an end to all the progress I was making, with some big backwards steps lately.
It’s every weekend with one thing or another, and for some reason my anxiety response just isn’t adapting to it. Think it might be the contrast from restrictions, and me being so used to having everyone constantly around for so long. If that makes sense.
I have a few things planned, but I know what’s actually coming, so it’s just daunting. I know I’ll get through it, but the relentlessness of it feels like it’s seriously damaging me.
There is a decent weekend of football, and I have loads of work to do, so there is plenty to keep busy with.
How are you?
They are entitled to do what they want, Phil and maybe they need to get away? You aren't being forced to go with them and they always come back.
What are you going to do with yourself over the weekend?
Exactly Pulisa.
They have been cooped up for the best part of the past 2 years owing to the pandemic and its attendant restrictions and are no doubt desperate to start living life again.
I am the very same (suffering from post-pandemic blues ATM), but as you know there's another great restriction in my family; my mom who has dementia.
But on the other hand I often feel a bit on edge myself when out and about of late, feeling compelled to have my wits about me at all times, hypervigilant towards certain 'hazards', fear witnessing confrontations, etc, especially with many people who may feel the urge to release their pent-up rage over the past 2 years, though thankfully I don't visit any particularly high-risk locations ATM where I'm most likely to encounter such things.
LittleLionMan
29-04-22, 11:06
I know they are entitled to do what they like, that’s why I never ever mention to them the effect it has on me. I don’t want to burden them with my issues.
It’s more about me wishing, or finding a way to make myself stop reacting like I do.
I do this every weekend in one form or another, and would like to think my reaction to it would have lessened a little by now.
Maybe it's because you're getting yourself keyed up in advance for panic?
LittleLionMan
29-04-22, 11:19
Maybe it's because you're getting yourself keyed up in advance for panic?
I think this is it. I think I’ve had a couple of very bad experiences, and it’s just become ‘a thing’.
I’ve surprised myself a couple of times, where I’ve done well, so I keep trying to remind myself of that, to at least throw some doubt into the expected doom and gloom.
What is it that you actually fear if you are on your own?
LittleLionMan
29-04-22, 14:53
What is it that you actually fear if you are on your own?
I honestly don’t know, I just have panic attack after panic attack. Having one now.
LittleLionMan
06-05-22, 13:28
Ended up handling it brilliantly last weekend. Same scenario this weekend, and panic is ripping through me again. I honestly don’t get it!
It’s awfully illogical isn’t it.
For what it's worth, my husband was working late last night and had to stay longer than he thought he would. I definitely slipped into a 1am panic when I woke up and I'd expected him back an hour ago.
LittleLionMan
06-05-22, 13:44
Ah really. You feeling OK today?
I’m having a panic attack now.
I really thought after last weekend, that this weekend wouldn’t be a big deal, so didn’t really acknowledge or prepare for it, and it’s really caught me out.
Basically okay, but still pretty tired.
I know it feels unending, but I promise it'll get better.
Ended up handling it brilliantly last weekend. Same scenario this weekend, and panic is ripping through me again. I honestly don’t get it!
It’s awfully illogical isn’t it.
No it's just what you do and are used to doing before they go away. It's a pattern of behaviour and very predictable. What are you going to do over the weekend? It's really great that you didn't need them around last weekend. Have faith in yourself and your ability to cope on your own?
LittleLionMan
06-05-22, 13:52
Basically okay, but still pretty tired.
I know it feels unending, but I promise it'll get better.
I have put together a bit of a day plan to try and get me in a routine. I’ll send you it later, you can see if you think it’s a good idea or not! Haha!
LittleLionMan
06-05-22, 14:05
No it's just what you do and are used to doing before they go away. It's a pattern of behaviour and very predictable. What are you going to do over the weekend? It's really great that you didn't need them around last weekend. Have faith in yourself and your ability to cope on your own?
I thought I had done it a bit differently because I honestly wasn’t worrying about it, until the situation was here.
My weekend will consist of working, gaming with my mates, catching up on the tele I’ve missed, watching the football, and I might try and invite the girl round i was saying about, if things ease off.
One of my horses runs on Sunday too!
I didn’t just cope last weekend, I was pushing myself whilst I was alone, that’s why I thought things might have change a touch.
Does it matter though? You sound as though you have a pretty good weekend lined up so why not downplay the anticipatory anxiety as just a predictable annoyance and nothing else?
LittleLionMan
06-05-22, 15:07
Does it matter though? You sound as though you have a pretty good weekend lined up so why not downplay the anticipatory anxiety as just a predictable annoyance and nothing else?
Yeah, it could be a good weekend, and after last weekend, I’m just trying to acknowledge that I don’t know how I will feel to try and stop me predicting it negatively.
My horse should win on Sunday, so that could be a highlight. It’s live on ITV too.
What is your horse called? How exciting! Would you go if circumstance were easier for you?
LittleLionMan
06-05-22, 20:14
What is your horse called? How exciting! Would you go if circumstance were easier for you?
I had been a bit better earlier, but I’m in a bad way again now. Going to pop something on tele and try and wind down.
Yeah, I would definitely go if I could.
I don't think I've ever heard of people having weekend breaks away nearly every weekend?
But then again, what do I know?
LittleLionMan
07-05-22, 09:42
I don't think I've ever heard of people having weekend breaks away nearly every weekend?
But then again, what do I know?
Not a lot really - what a strange thing to accuse someone of lying about.
We have a holiday home and a corporate box at the theatre, which they just use one or the other most weekends. Mamma Mia was this weekends offering.
Not a lot really - what a strange thing to accuse someone of lying about.
We have a holiday home and a corporate box at the theatre, which they just use one or the other most weekends. Mamma Mia was this weekends offering.
Oh I understand now.
BTW, there was no malicious intent in my comment above.
Like I already said upthread, at least they're having a bit of a life now after being heavily restricted during the best part of the past 2 years.
LittleLionMan
07-05-22, 11:57
Oh I understand now.
BTW, there was no malicious intent in my comment above.
Like I already said upthread, at least they're having a bit of a life now after being heavily restricted during the best part of the past 2 years.
Yeah, definitely.
Don’t blame them, just wish my anxiety response would learn that it’s not an issue.
LittleLionMan
14-05-22, 12:39
Same scenario again, but worse.
No one within an hour of me, full blown panic attack.
Can’t cope.
But you can and do..Every time.
What is the worst thing that can happen to you? Collapse and no one to come to your aid?
LittleLionMan
20-05-22, 10:55
Hi, I did get through it. Very tough though, and knocked me around for a few days after.
Talked it through with a therapist mid week, which raised a few good points for me to take forward.
How are you?
LittleLionMan
03-06-22, 08:44
Is anyone else really struggling over this long weekend? I’ve been dreadful for a few days now, and don’t really know why.
I’m not sure if it’s because it’s warmed up and I’m feeling a bit flustered or what, but it’s been some huge backward steps when I was having some very good spells.
"Huge backward steps" suggests something very dramatic though? I'm sorry that you're not feeling as good as you have been. There doesn't have to be a reason. It just happens.
LittleLionMan
03-06-22, 08:54
Morning! It’s just been days of high anxiety, that doesn’t settle.
I haven’t let it stop me. Seen friends, saw the girl in kind of seeing yesterday and am facing it, but it’s tough going.
Also felt an earthquake on Monday, which was very weird!
We can have days on end when we feel rubbish, but it will pass as it all does. Well done on not letting it stop you though
i felt the earthquake too. I thought my OH was banging around upstairs and didn’t realise until I saw the news. I also felt one in the 80s.Weird experience as you say.
LittleLionMan
03-06-22, 11:55
We can have days on end when we feel rubbish, but it will pass as it all does. Well done on not letting it stop you though
i felt the earthquake too. I thought my OH was banging around upstairs and didn’t realise until I saw the news. I also felt one in the 80s.Weird experience as you say.
Yeah, I do keep reminding myself it will pass, I just find it difficult when I can’t see or find any rhyme or reason for it.
The earthquake was really strange. I live about 2 miles away from the epi-centre. Whenever I’ve thought about an earthquake, I always thought about everything shaking around me… didn’t consider that it would be me shaking as well! Haha!
You're doing really well, Phil. Don't keep looking for those reasons though? The fact that you're not letting anxiety stop you from doing things you want to do is great progress.
I didn't know about the earthquake...Must have been a very weird experience!
LittleLionMan
03-06-22, 15:45
I find it so hard not to. I can stop myself if it’s just fleeting anxiety, that’s something I’ve got a lot better at, but when it’s being in a tangle for days at a time, it’s hard to wonder what’s going on. It could just be that I’m tired and run down to be honest that’s weakened my guard, it’s been a long week for me.
It was a very strange experience, I was just getting up out of my office chair as it hit, and it felt like someone had just pulled the carpet from under me, very odd.
LittleLionMan
15-07-22, 07:22
I’ve got this situation again again this weekend, but a worse scenario, and I’ve been doing so much better lately, that it’s worrying me this will be a setback that I just don’t need.
Try not to set yourself up for "failure", Phil..."Worry"/"setback"/ "worse scenario" are all things which haven't happened....Only in your anxious mind.
You've been doing so much better lately...Hang on to this not the same old negative "predictions"?
LittleLionMan
15-07-22, 08:12
It’s just so frustrating.
I would be hopeful, but I’ve already had 2 pretty bad days in anticipation, and they haven’t even left yet.
I’ve honestly been doing so much better, but my head has gone with this one.
If you say so...You know anticipatory anxiety is the worst bit.
LittleLionMan
15-07-22, 08:30
It’s just a difficult one for me that I’ve got to try and get through, and then hope I can continue my progress I think. I have plenty of ‘distractions’ for the weekend, so hopefully I get lost in one of them for at least a short spell to give myself a break.
* they have just left, and the first panic is in full swing, long weekend ahead. 🤦*♂️
Hey! I'm sorry to hear you struggle with anxiety. It's an interesting question because I went through this just a week ago.
My husband never goes away but he went to a work-related award ceremony for the night. I thought I was fine (and actually looking forward to the break) yet I found myself an anxious wreck for the 2 days prior.
I busied myself by staying at my Moms for the night and a friend came over too - it was actually really lovely!
My advice would be, if you know that they're going away for a short period, make a few small plans to catch up with people, delve into a great book, cook and eat some lovely food, binge on some great Netflix etc. Honestly, you can really turn it into something quite lush if you allow yourself the time to step back from your thoughts. Remember, they are JUST thoughts!
I've found that one of they key threads with anxiety is that we become all engrossed in our emotions. Sometimes, it's really useful to have an unemotional response. You might think that's impossible. It actually isn't, but requires a bit of training.
One morning, say to yourself that you're not going to respond emotionally to things that you hear. Obviously, if its something major that occurs (ill relative or animal etc), then it isn't possible. But in terms of everything else, hear the words being said to you as just that, words! Don't allow yourself to digest the words beyond merely hearing them - I sometimes say to myself - I am a robot! Yep, sounds mad but it works for me!
Once you fine tune this, you're less affected over time by the actions of others. It also allows you to get to know YOU a little better.
Self-reflect a bit. What do YOU enjoy doing? What would YOU like to spend a couple of days doing?
Shift focus from the person leaving to what YOU might want to do with some lovely free time :)
I hope that helps a little. x
LittleLionMan
15-07-22, 19:55
That’s a really lovely response, thank you.
I’ve been trying to do lots of this lately, and my anxiety has improved as a result. It’s been very difficult, but I tried to design how I wanted my life to be and I’ve just taken steps towards it, regardless of how I feel - almost disconnecting from the anxiety.
I got a new car and got back out driving for the first time in over a year.
I moved things forward with a girl that I had been putting off because of anxiety, and she’s a big part of my life now.
I stopped doing things to make my days ‘easier’ and just put up with anything that came my way.
I restricted how much I work, because I often use it as a distraction, so that forced me to fill the time with things I like.
I’ve made some serious changes, and I think that’s why this bothered me so much that I’ve such a bad few days, I felt like I was beyond this, and am scared it’s going to be a setback.
I will take all that into account. Thanks.
Well I am delighted that you've made such significant progress, Phil! That's fantastic! You're not going to "lose" this progress even if you've had some difficult days! Life doesn't go smoothly all the time but it doesn't mean "disaster". I believe in taking the "unemotional" approach like Munki. Going onto autopilot. Dealing with what you've got to deal with clinically not emotionally.
Don't let things not going to plan for a couple of days put a spanner in the works. You're being a perfectionist. Just make the most of the new opportunities you have made for yourself. You've made them through your hard work. Now you have to enjoy your new found liberation and quieten those voices of doubt which are weakening as each day goes by.
LittleLionMan
15-07-22, 22:21
It’s obviously me just being scared my hard work is going to be undone, I’ve just got to regroup as soon as I can.
The biggest thing for me as well has been eating. Today is the first day in about 3 months where I haven’t eaten 3 square meals at least. Even if I don’t feel hungry, I make myself eat.
I’m back up to 13st again now, which was my target weight when I was skin and bone.
That’s been a huge boost.
Just got to accept this anxiety, and put it behind me ASAP.
Thanks.
LondonRain
17-07-22, 15:53
I know what you mean I feel it too. When you are surrounded by those you love everyday its hard when all of a sudden you're alone.
LittleLionMan
19-07-22, 13:02
That’s pretty much it.
The rest of my family are all big drinkers and aren’t reliable really, so I think it makes me miss the more reliable ones far more.
They have gone away today again for 3 days and I am struggling like hell in this heat. I feel awful.
When you say "reliable" what does this mean for you?
LittleLionMan
19-07-22, 20:32
Just sensible opinion and conversation really.
Can’t be doing with drunk people.
This heat has knocked me about something awful today. It’s mad isn’t it!
It'll be much better tomorrow. I've felt really agitated today. Can't concentrate on anything. This is nothing new for me but today has been a real struggle so you're not alone in feeling this way.
I've finally lost my cool today, too, in all senses of the word. Scorched my face, and exploded at my boss about incompetent team members.
Hang in there, all!
I've finally lost my cool today, too, in all senses of the word. Scorched my face, and exploded at my boss about incompetent team members.
Hang in there, all!
I hope you felt better after telling a few home truths about them..Good for you!
LittleLionMan
19-07-22, 21:19
Maybe not a bad thing If you’ve given your colleagues a bit back, Blue?
I’ve been dreadful all day, it’s been a real struggle to be honest.
An attempt at a good nights sleep and try again tomorrow I think is the best solution.
Write this one off as a shocker all round.
Maybe best not to see it as a "shocker"..More of a challenging day?
LittleLionMan
20-07-22, 12:43
I use shocker pretty light heartedly.
Mostly when Watkins misses a chance! Ha.
I’m pretty worn out still today, so trying to take it easy. How are you?
I feel less agitated today thanks. Much easier to get through the day.
LittleLionMan
20-07-22, 15:02
Yeah, I’m just worn out and ‘floaty’, tend to get it after a few high anxiety days.
Going to order a takeaway tonight and watch the England womens game.
Don't worry.."Proper" footie will be back in a few weeks:D
Sorry...Just can't feel any enthusiasm for women's football even though I used to love dream of being being female footballer many moons ago!
LittleLionMan
20-07-22, 17:06
It’s OK if you take it for what it is, and don’t try and compare it to the mens game.
I watched Villa against Brisbane Roar in a friendly this morning to get my fix!
Gone terribly rough again now. Not sure why.
LittleLionMan
20-08-22, 11:15
Most of my family have been away all week.
I woke up feeling OK this morning, looking forward to them coming back this morning, I saw my gf last night, and everything was OK.
Spoke to my Mum about 9am, and joked "are you looking forward to the peace and quiet ending?" She said, "well no, because they aren't coming back now, I'm going there to see them instead, leaving in 10 minutes".
It’s like it’s caught mr out, and I'm in a real mess, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm so sick of it, and it seems to stop any progress I make.
I've drawn a little list up of things I can do today, but what else can I do when it affects me this bad, and they care so little to even consider it?
I never even mention anxiety to them anymore, I hide how bad everything is, and never stop them doing anything, I just face it, but all I want is half a chance.
I hear you, we bite back so much of what we are feeling. Family interest wanes in our issues, so what can we do. I won’t ask when they are back because I think you should focus on your way of coping without them rather than clock watching.
But you’re right to do a list, it means you can focus as best you can on other stuff.
What matches are on the TV today if you like football.
Im on Monday I think…..laughing at the useless buggers now. It’s either that or cry.
LittleLionMan
20-08-22, 13:30
I’m not sure when they are back now to honest. I purposely hide how I’m feeling because it’s not fair on them to think they have caused me to feel so bad and I want them to enjoy whatever they are doing. I’ve been doing better with it though to be fair, but I think today caught me out because I wasn’t expecting it, I almost hadn’t got my head around it, and instead of getting my niece and nephew back (who are a big positive for me), they all went and I’m just rattling around here panicking on my own. I haven’t been this bad in a long time.
Yeah, I’ll watch the football, Villa play at 3 so I’ll watch that (I have a brilliant IPTV that gets every game), but I doubt them numpties will cheer me up. We are playing that Palace shite though, good side, but all their supporters are a bit dodgy! 😉
Hang on a minute...I was going to offer some comforting words but now I won't!!:D
I think your mum's sudden departure has thrown you off kilter because it's changed all your expectations of the weekend and you had no forewarning. She didn't prepare you so you feel left high and dry?
You'll ditch the football in disgust after 10 mins when Palace are 3 up so will need some contingency plans:winks: Did you say that you are now driving again in your new car and going outside your grounds? Can your gf come round again? Can you plan a welcome home treat for your nephew and niece?
3 up in 10 minutes! Come on Pulisa, they’re not playing Utd :roflmao:
I see Andersen has been having death threats on Insta after that red card on Nunez. No excuse for that at all but he was constantly needling him throughout the game.
LittleLionMan
20-08-22, 14:11
Haha, I’m under no illusions about how bad Villa are!
I think that’s what it is. I’ve had a tough work week, and was knackered and worn out before I saw my gf last night, and I cracked on knowing that today was a chilled day, everyone back, football, horse racing, boxing, and I was looking forward to it, and woke up in a good mood ready for it, and that was quickly taken away and replaced with something that always makes me anxious.
My gf knows I get anxious obviously, and gets enough of it herself to understand, but she’s never seen me like this, and I’m not sure it’s a good idea to show her yet. I might do something for them, but am struggling to do anything at the moment to be honest, and I wouldn’t feel safe driving the car on the road.
He did go down as if he had been poleaxed...Auditioning for EastEnders?:D
Haha, I’m under no illusions about how bad Villa are!
I think that’s what it is. I’ve had a tough work week, and was knackered and worn out before I saw my gf last night, and I cracked on knowing that today was a chilled day, everyone back, football, horse racing, boxing, and I was looking forward to it, and woke up in a good mood ready for it, and that was quickly taken away and replaced with something that always makes me anxious.
My gf knows I get anxious obviously, and gets enough of it herself to understand, but she’s never seen me like this, and I’m not sure it’s a good idea to show her yet. I might do something for them, but am struggling to do anything at the moment to be honest, and I wouldn’t feel safe driving the car on the road.
Fair enough..Can you concentrate on the football?
LittleLionMan
20-08-22, 14:26
Fair enough..Can you concentrate on the football?
That’s the plan, we will see.
I’m watching Better Call Saul at the minute, but not really taking that in… whilst rolling cigarettes, keeping my hands busy!
I have watched the whole of Better Call Saul. The last one was on Tuesday.
I loved the cameos from Walt and jessie
LittleLionMan
20-08-22, 14:43
I have watched the whole of Better Call Saul. The last one was on Tuesday.
I loved the cameos from Walt and jessie
I’m on the 2nd last one now.
Yeah, didn’t expect to see them pair.
Was funny seeing an older Aaron Paul acting like a young Jesse.
LittleLionMan
20-08-22, 15:32
Fair enough..Can you concentrate on the football?
This game is mental.
Yes it was weird. Still, we have a young Jessie stuck in our heads while in reality Aaron is getting older.
Reckon I’m going to watch Breaking Bad again now…just to follow it on.
Did you ever watch El Camino?
what about Ozarks? Watch that? Very similar line to BB, just as good.
LittleLionMan
20-08-22, 15:42
Yeah, that’s it.
I watched El Camino, was OK.
I’ve watched Ozark, but feel it went out with a whimper. Earlier series were better. Loads of programmes seems to end poorly at the minute.
Yes we said exactly the same, a bit lame.
crying shame they killed Ruth Langmore off, I thought she was brilliant. Glad that Darlene met her end, creepy woman.
What's the score? I was listening in the car and Zaha had equalised but can't tune in at the moment..
I really envy you both being able to watch stuff...Can't concentrate on anything for more than about 10 mins!:D
3-1 to palace
Late equaliser for Everton so Fishman will be pleased.
Is there a football thread on here?
I started a Talksport one ages ago...in Misc. Am trying to resurrect some enthusiasm for football again which has been lost recently
Thanks for the update.I tuned in at 440pm and was pleasantly pleased
LittleLionMan
20-08-22, 18:34
We were dreadful as expected.
The Villa fans are rightfully calling for Gerrard’s head.
LittleLionMan
20-08-22, 18:36
Yes we said exactly the same, a bit lame.
crying shame they killed Ruth Langmore off, I thought she was brilliant. Glad that Darlene met her end, creepy woman.
Yeah, she was a good character, I just think the whole thing trickled out to be honest.
Going to try and watch the last episode of Saul in a bit, then the fight, then TRY and get some sleep as I’ve been awake since 6am and have had what is up there in my top 10 worst days ever.
Yeah, she was a good character, I just think the whole thing trickled out to be honest.
Going to try and watch the last episode of Saul in a bit, then the fight, then TRY and get some sleep as I’ve been awake since 6am and have had what is up there in my top 10 worst days ever.
well I hope we’ve helped a little. Hopefully you’ll get some sleep tonight.
I started a Talksport one ages ago...in Misc. Am trying to resurrect some enthusiasm for football again which has been lost recently
Thanks for the update.I tuned in at 440pm and was pleasantly pleased
Cant remember that one. Maybe start another. Just about football. I know Fishman will come on. PHR and me certainly….just to give you guys a laugh at my expense. There maybe other closet footie fans on here.
Just no talk about womens football. Purleeese :lac:
LittleLionMan
20-08-22, 19:04
well I hope we’ve helped a little. Hopefully you’ll get some sleep tonight.
You have, thanks.
I’ve needed all the distractions I can get today, from the football as well as the anxiety! Ha.
Cant remember that one. Maybe start another. Just about football. I know Fishman will come on. PHR and me certainly….just to give you guys a laugh at my expense. There maybe other closet footie fans on here.
Just no talk about womens football. Purleeese :lac:
Oh I agree....It's a man's game anyway..Good for Souness for saying it! Thank god the proper football is back..
We were dreadful as expected.
The Villa fans are rightfully calling for Gerrard’s head.
It's far too big to handle..
LittleLionMan
21-08-22, 14:17
It's far too big to handle..
Yep, he’s far too inexperienced.
Did you sleep last night PHR?
Btw…Pulisa has a footie thread started in Misc if you want to hop over:yesyes:
LittleLionMan
21-08-22, 17:14
It took me a while to get off, kept having panic attacks as I settled down.
Been just worn out, and keep crashing today, with the odd panic. Hopefully another nights sleep will put me somewhere near.
I’ve been doing so much better lately that I just don’t want it to turn into too much of a setback.
Haha, I’ll take a look!
Do join us, Phil? But don't slag off Stevie G otherwise NoraB will be on the warpath..You Have Been Warned!!:D
LittleLionMan
21-08-22, 18:52
Do join us, Phil? But don't slag off Stevie G otherwise NoraB will be on the warpath..You Have Been Warned!!:D
Haha, I’m not sure it will be the place for me then!! Haha!
LittleLionMan
26-08-22, 12:18
I haven’t had a calm second all week after last Saturday, it has proved to be the setback I didn’t want. I’ve been ignoring it and cracking on, work, parties, everything, but the anxiety continues to be extreme. Any idea how to move on what I’m viewing as and anxiety hangover?
I don’t think there’s any short cuts unfortunately.
You have to view the setback differently. Remember to be in a setback you must have moved forwards at some point. I read somewhere about viewing them like little islands which your boat,(which is sailing to the land of recovery)has washed up on. They are just stopping points on your journey.
Dont push yourself too hard but yes, keep living your life. In time it will recede, it always does and your boat will push off again.
I think time and acceptance of what you are temporarily feeling will see you through.
I know words are easy but you can’t go round, the only way is through.
LittleLionMan
26-08-22, 13:57
Thanks for that.
I’m definitely beating myself up, and am almost angry at myself for letting it derail my progress so badly. I think I‘ve fallen back into ‘figure it out’ mode instead of just doing mode I was in.
I will try and see it as a bump instead of a roadblock! I think days like that just remind me how bad it can get.
How are you doing anyway?
Well you know, good days and bad, like everyone here I suppose.
The humid weather hasn’t been helping me at all. So I’m glad we’ve got it a bit cooler round here (I live quite close to you I believe)
PHR, try and think of it as a bump in the road. I went through a bad patch a few weeks ago and it's taken me a while to start feeling my 'normal' again, good days and bad days as Darksky says.
You don't need to analyse the hell out of a blip, Phil. And it was a blip if you can carry on as you have done. It's not "extreme" anxiety. Thankfully you have no concept of what extreme anxiety can do to you.
LittleLionMan
26-08-22, 22:06
I’ve just carried on best I can through the panic, it’s just twisted me up all week. Can tell how anxiety distorts things, as my brother goes abroad on a stag party tomorrow, and I’m seeing that with dread and panicking about it, even though I’ve never once cared where he goes before, and everyone else will all be here. It’s amazing how it twists things isn’t it, how it makes things into a trigger.
LittleLionMan
27-08-22, 14:00
Well you know, good days and bad, like everyone here I suppose.
The humid weather hasn’t been helping me at all. So I’m glad we’ve got it a bit cooler round here (I live quite close to you I believe)
The weather was / is weird at the minute, even when it cools off it feels humid still!
LittleLionMan
27-08-22, 14:01
PHR, try and think of it as a bump in the road. I went through a bad patch a few weeks ago and it's taken me a while to start feeling my 'normal' again, good days and bad days as Darksky says.
Thanks Catkins, sure it will clear up in my head as soon as it starts to clear, it’s just very weird just how badly it’s kicked me. Feel like I was taking the place I got to for granted now it’s gone.
No it hasn't gone. Try not to overreact, Phil.
LittleLionMan
27-08-22, 14:14
No it hasn't gone. Try not to overreact, Phil.
No, you know what I mean though, a week ago I was deciding how far to push myself taking the car out, and now I’ve had a week of struggling to get out of bed.
I’m watching the documentary on John McAfee, the antivirus software guy! Bloke’s insane.
LittleLionMan
09-09-22, 09:23
Morning all,
After some advice if anyone can help?
I’ve had a rough week. I had a cold earlier in the week, so it’s involved sleepless nights, constantly feeling drained, and just generally feeling horrible, and anxiety has taken over now, and I just can’t settle.
My usual go to would be get my head into my work, and whatever else I can, but I can’t focus on anything, and am just anxious constantly. I can feel the adrenaline running through me, but am not well enough to get physical and get moving to release it. I’ve tried my usual idea of just leaving it alone and accepting that I’m just not feeling great at the minute, but it’s just getting worse, and I don’t know what to do.
When I’m feeling anxious I have found only certain things help. People say gardening or something physical but I find if it leaves your brain unoccupied it rarely works, for me at least. For me I have to find something that will totally occupy my brain.
With me, it’s reading, artwork, even a jigsaw, daft as it sounds. Even posting on here occupies the mind.
Sleepless nights can and do ramp up anxiety. I think that’s common with everyone so you’re not alone. Plus being ill….perfect storm really, but don’t dwell. There’s your reason so let it go now, don’t worry away at it. You know it will settle eventually, it always does.
You think it’s getting worse because you’re feeding it, a wave of terror brings more adrenaline. More adrenaline brings more waves. Vicious circle. Try to find something, anything, that occupies your mind. Then when it’s settled somewhat, you can use physical stuff that will get rid of residual adrenaline.
LittleLionMan
10-09-22, 08:28
Morning, that’s it, it’s being able to do the things I know help. Cheers for that.
For how limited my life is with going out, I actually normally have pretty full days, but I haven’t felt up to doing the things that normally fill them. When people are ill they normally ‘take it easy’, which is when my anxiety gets worse so I’m a bit trapped until I feel better.
I’ve slept better for a couple of nights now, so hopefully that pays off soon.
It’s being able to let yourself off isn’t it.
* really struggling with it all today to be fair. I’m not sure if I’m still ill or this is purely anxiety now.
LittleLionMan
24-09-22, 11:13
Hi all,
I hope you are doing OK.
Just looking for some advice really.
In line with me pushing myself at the minute, I had a really busy, anxious day yesterday, which was annoying because it could have been a nice day and I didn’t expect it to be too anxiety provoking, then because I’ve been getting to bed earlier, a party meant I got to bed later, and the anxiety of the day instantly turned to panic when I did that wonderful thing I do where I force myself to sleep, and then panic when the opposite inevitably happens (really fun game I wish I could stop playing!). A few hours of panic later, I finally got to sleep, and today feel like I’ve been hit by a bus, and my head is all over the place.
Does anyone have any advice of how to almost gauge how far to push yourself without it backfiring, and how would you deal with the residual anxiety after a night like last night (as I’m in a bit of a mess today)?
LittleLionMan
28-09-22, 08:30
This situation is arising again today, for 3 days on the back of a few awful anxiety days. Desperately struggling to hang in there.
Something I really need to get over somehow.
I've just read all of this thread and I'm glad its not just me that feels this way. However I believe my heightened anxiety and panic is down to me coming off my meds 4 months ago and thinking I was ready to face the big bad world!
That and the change of weather and recent stresses have all added up and now my wife has gone on a holiday with her mum.
This isn't the first time I've been left alone (technically I'm not alone as both my kids and dogs are here) but I've stressed myself silly with her being away thinking something bad will happen to me or her during this time.
I'm going to start back on my Escitilopram but I know that won't really kick in for a bit but these past week weeks and her going away have hammered home I don't cope well even with a lose dose of chemical help.
LittleLionMan
06-10-22, 07:40
Hi Colin,
No, definitely not your own with that one.
It’s odd the things that catch us out isn’t it.
I can’t even explain it because I don’t turn to them for help. It’s not like they are a huge comfort to me when they are here, so I really don’t get it, I’m assuming it’s just a change from the norm that I can’t control and ut throws me.
I have been doing it about every other weekend for ages now though, and nothing ever happens (obviously), and when they are here, the anxiety just lands on something else, so I’m guessing it’s just something else to worry about, no more or less important than all the other worries.
How are you holding up?
I think you're right in that this is a change from your norm, your "equilibrium" has been thrown and you're out of your comfort zone. You're used to feeling anxious about something..and probably feel you need to worry about something because not feeling anxious wouldn't feel right?
Colin, do you feel that having sole responsibility for your children and for the dogs whilst your wife is away just adds to your anxiety? What do you think could happen to you in the next few days? Maybe it would be helpful to just write these fears down on here? Worst case scenarios..
I have this irrational fear that my wife is never coming back and thats its a total loss for us all. Having the kids and dogs is probably the only thing stopping me from taking a diazepam to help ease my mind before I start back on Escitilopram.
Fear of waking up in the night having a panic attack and waking up one of the kids to help me. That's a fear as I want them to have a strong father figure.
Fear of me dying, losing my mind this week and they kids being left alone. Another fear.
Its so much worse during the day but seems to have calmed later at night. Probably because I've wore myself down with silly worry.
Wanting this week to go as fast as possible so she's back with me.
It really is mental, most guys would welcome a weeks break from thier other half but not me.
Scared to tell my Mrs how I'm really feeling this week as I don't want her to worry when she really deserves this break with her mum.
LittleLionMan
06-10-22, 11:10
That’s a heavy load to carry just because someone has stepped out mate.
I saw a thing the other week that almost mocked ‘what ifs’, and I’ve been trying to use it. A ‘what if’ is merely ‘let’s worry about something that isn’t happening’, it doesn’t need reassurance or fixing, it doesn’t even require your attention. Your wife WILL return, your fears won’t be realised, and you know that’s the case. It’s would be a 1 in a million chance that it isn’t the case, and it’s really not a concern that you even need to bother about, and worrying about it won’t make it more or less likely anyway.
I know how hard it is to get the rational bit in, I have a nutty one of my own at the minute, but the worrying is just unnecessary.
Fear of waking up in the night having a panic attack and waking up one of the kids to help me. That's a fear as I want them to have a strong father figure.
It takes a lot of effort to hang onto the edge of that cliff when we're mentally unwell, and for this we need strength. Don't bring your kids up to think that mental illness is a weakness, Colin. (That's part of the problem why people don't feel they can talk about it)
Fear of me dying, losing my mind this week and they kids being left alone. Another fear.
Technically, that's three fears. (You're not going to lose your mind and you're not likely to die either)
Wanting this week to go as fast as possible so she's back with me.
Colin, you have to learn how to feel safe, on your own, with your anxiety.
It really is mental, most guys would welcome a weeks break from thier other half but not me.
Supporting someone who is highly anxious is emotionally exhausting. (Your Mrs probably needs this break)
Scared to tell my Mrs how I'm really feeling this week as I don't want her to worry when she really deserves this break with her mum.
As I said, you need to be able to feel safe on your own, but is there anyone else who can support you aside your wife?
Hi Nora, I've got a friend at work thats kept me sain this week and gave me good advise. Also just left the doctors and had a good chat with the mental health person. I also spoke to my boss and said I'm having waves of panic again and got some good advise. My mum is also in the end of a phone-in but lives 3 hours from me.
I have generally been a worrier my whole life. I do have low moments, moments of sheer panic but the medication was a help. I think I need to realize that maybe I need this help. I start back on it tonight.
I don't want my kids to see me panic however I talk to them loads about how they feel, when they are nervous about things, how to cope with school and friends, preparing them for the world when they are older, giving them money advise etc. All the stuff no one bothered to teach me. I have no qualms about telling them about mental health but I've also had the real disappointment of telling friends/family about my situation and having those people treat me differently or dissappear from my life.
My wife really doesn't understand my illness so even when she is here she isn't that much of a help which is odd. She does however snap me out of the irrational thoughts. I haven't been that much of a burden in her so its seems even more off I feel completely as seas this week without her.
Starting back on 5mg Escitilopram tonight for 1 week then up to 10mg thereafter. That kept me grounded before. I've also got 2mg of diazepam to help take the edge off should I need it.
This forum is always a big help when I hit a low point.
Have a diazepam, Colin...When you feel at your worst? 2mg is not going to lead you down the path of addiction and it can really help you feel more human again and more able to function. Don't wait until you are crawling up the walls. Much better to be able to feel the benefit of it and realise that you aren't going mad..It's just panic and anxiety. You'll be able to process self help skills much better as well.
Hi Nora, I've got a friend at work thats kept me sain this week and gave me good advise. Also just left the doctors and had a good chat with the mental health person. I also spoke to my boss and said I'm having waves of panic again and got some good advise. My mum is also in the end of a phone-in but lives 3 hours from me.
You have some good support there.
I don't want my kids to see me panic however I talk to them loads about how they feel, when they are nervous about things, how to cope with school and friends, preparing them for the world when they are older, giving them money advise etc. All the stuff no one bothered to teach me. I have no qualms about telling them about mental health but I've also had the real disappointment of telling friends/family about my situation and having those people treat me differently or dissappear from my life.
It's really good to hear that you talk to your children about how you feel. Regarding those people who disappear from your life, all I can say is that you're better off without them. Those who stay with you when you are at your most low and vulnerable are keepers.
My wife really doesn't understand my illness so even when she is here she isn't that much of a help which is odd. She does however snap me out of the irrational thoughts. I haven't been that much of a burden in her so its seems even more off I feel completely as seas this week without her.
When I had my breakdown, I couldn't be left on my own - which is weird for me because I do need my space from people normally, but I was too scared to be by myself. My husband had to work from home, but one day he told me he had to go to London as his job depended on it. I had a meltdown. I shook, cried, and begged him not to go. I'll never forget the look on his face as he said to me, 'If I don't go, I'll lose my job'. I was placing him in an impossible situation. I snapped at him to 'Just bloody well go', and I sat down in my chair watching the seconds tick by, certain that I wouldn't cope. I did have to text somebody for support, but the day came and went, and I got through it. I coped. (It was actually the best thing my husband could have done)
Starting back on 5mg Escitilopram tonight for 1 week then up to 10mg thereafter. That kept me grounded before. I've also got 2mg of diazepam to help take the edge off should I need it.
Good to hear that the meds help; however, they only deal with symptoms of anxiety, not the cause. For that you need to do therapy and learn how to challenge your thoughts and face your fears.
This forum is always a big help when I hit a low point.
It's a really great forum. :yesyes:
Have a diazepam, Colin...When you feel at your worst? 2mg is not going to lead you down the path of addiction and it can really help you feel more human again and more able to function. Don't wait until you are crawling up the walls. Much better to be able to feel the benefit of it and realise that you aren't going mad..It's just panic and anxiety. You'll be able to process self help skills much better as well.
I just feel scared to take meds even though I took it before for flying but they done nothing for me as I was too wired.
You have some good support there.
It's really good to hear that you talk to your children about how you feel. Regarding those people who disappear from your life, all I can say is that you're better off without them. Those who stay with you when you are at your most low and vulnerable are keepers.
When I had my breakdown, I couldn't be left on my own - which is weird for me because I do need my space from people normally, but I was too scared to be by myself. My husband had to work from home, but one day he told me he had to go to London as his job depended on it. I had a meltdown. I shook, cried, and begged him not to go. I'll never forget the look on his face as he said to me, 'If I don't go, I'll lose my job'. I was placing him in an impossible situation. I snapped at him to 'Just bloody well go', and I sat down in my chair watching the seconds tick by, certain that I wouldn't cope. I did have to text somebody for support, but the day came and went, and I got through it. I coped. (It was actually the best thing my husband could have done)
Good to hear that the meds help; however, they only deal with symptoms of anxiety, not the cause. For that you need to do therapy and learn how to challenge your thoughts and face your fears.
It's a really great forum. :yesyes:
With regards to the root cause, I've had many sessions and it seems to come up with no real defining moment or issues as to why I am this way. A few doctors have said I have a chemical imbalance that is making me a little more negative and low mood than normal. Whatever normal is?
Whatever normal is?
Don't ask me, I'm autistic. :yesyes:
I'm referring to the anxiety more than the depression, Colin.
Do you have a fear of death?
I just feel scared to take meds even though I took it before for flying but they done nothing for me as I was too wired.
Precisely. You waited too long to take them.
With regards to the root cause, I've had many sessions and it seems to come up with no real defining moment or issues as to why I am this way. A few doctors have said I have a chemical imbalance that is making me a little more negative and low mood than normal. Whatever normal is?
Were these GPs or psychiatrists? This seems to me like quite a feeble analysis of your issues. Once you are established on the escitalopram again it may be a good idea to try therapy again to challenge some of your irrational thoughts? But only when you are feeling more able to actually benefit from it. At the moment your anxiety is too high.
LittleLionMan
06-10-22, 18:03
Won’t we all have that imbalance on here, simply because the prolonged anxiety itself causes it?
I should probably take one or two over the weekend to calm me down while my meds kick in again.
I think this would be a very good idea. They have been prescribed for you to help you. 2 mg is a very small dose to help counteract the start up side effects of escitalopram again.
I just have this irrational fear of everything when I let my anxiety get this bad.
In my opinion your anxiety is not as severe as you think. I won't say anything more but from what I am reading you are able to function, go to work and look after your children and that is a good thing in terms of severity. You are fearful of "losing control" and letting people see how terrified you are of just being alive and "on show"? You are overwhelmed by panicky thoughts and fears. Fears are not facts. Fears are conjured up by anxiety and you do have the power to accept the anxious thoughts but also you have the power to let them pass without causing any harm to you or to others..
My advice would be to try to lessen your reliance on your wife. You can cope without her being at home. You've proved it. The weekend yawns ahead for you, I presume? Make a plan to keep busy? Can you meet up with other families? What would your children choose to do?
I know what you might be thinking, I'm maybe here seeking attention as I've managed to work, look after my kids etc but trust me I've been struggling for a couple of weeks.
And yes, at times my anxiety has been crippling to the point of not leaving the house and it impacting work in the past.
I've got plans for the weekend to help fill the time and keep me busy, I only ever post here when I need reassurance and this forum has always been a good help in my wobbly times.
No I certainly don't think you're attention-seeking. I think you have felt terrified and panicky round the clock for a short period of time. It will seem like ages for you of course. I do think that the diazepam will help you. I do know what constant agitation feels like and I have had 2 spells in hospital (NHS). I'm a mum to 2 adult autistics who both have complex MH issues so am constantly under pressure to "perform" as they both rely on me and live at home. I have a lot of issues myself anxiety-wise..but I've survived and so will you.
This is "just" a wobbly time for you, Colin.I'm on escitalopram too and tolerate it well. Just 5mg though as I have a low bodyweight. Get yourself back on it and then consider having some therapy? You'll be fine over the weekend..although anticipating it will be worse than the actuality once it's here. You may surprise yourself with how well you do..but do take diazepam if you feel you are struggling?
No I certainly don't think you're attention-seeking. I think you have felt terrified and panicky round the clock for a short period of time. It will seem like ages for you of course. I do think that the diazepam will help you. I do know what constant agitation feels like and I have had 2 spells in hospital (NHS). I'm a mum to 2 adult autistics who both have complex MH issues so am constantly under pressure to "perform" as they both rely on me and live at home. I have a lot of issues myself anxiety-wise..but I've survived and so will you.
This is "just" a wobbly time for you, Colin.I'm on escitalopram too and tolerate it well. Just 5mg though as I have a low bodyweight. Get yourself back on it and then consider having some therapy? You'll be fine over the weekend..although anticipating it will be worse than the actuality once it's here. You may surprise yourself with how well you do..but do take diazepam if you feel you are struggling?
Sorry to hear about your situation. That must be pretty tough and here's me bleating on like an idiot.
I keep telling myself I'm stupid and there are people in much worse situations but when I let myself slide so bad I forget all the ways to cope.
Sorry PHR, I've hi-jacked your thread but it was just too close to my situation right now as I've came back on the forum.
LittleLionMan
07-10-22, 12:28
Sorry PHR, I've hi-jacked your thread but it was just too close to my situation right now as I've came back on the forum.
Absolutely no worries.
That’s what it’s here for mate.
Sorry to hear about your situation. That must be pretty tough and here's me bleating on like an idiot.
I keep telling myself I'm stupid and there are people in much worse situations but when I let myself slide so bad I forget all the ways to cope.
No you're certainly NOT stupid and everything's relative in term of mental suffering. I just didn't want you to think that I hadn't got a clue about how distressing agitation around the clock can be. You've had a blip so you need to take a bit of control back and use some of your strategies to feel on top of things again. You are not "sinking fast". You are taking steps to gain power and confidence again. You can do this but you can't keep feeding yourself negative thoughts?
I have my sister in law coming over later, she is an NHS nurse and is going to sit with me for a while so I can take a diazepam. I have exhausted myself trying to just get on with it but I need some physical and mental rest.
2mg diazepam is not massively tranquilising but having someone else there will give you some security and comfort. You need the diazepam. I find it helps me the next day as well. We all need extra support sometimes and it's not a sin. Benzos when used appropriately can be very helpful. You are not going to become an addict overnight.
Yes. But don't we all?
No.
I did have a fear of death itself but that went when I was 12.
When I had children, the HA started up again, this time because I feared leaving them. The worst episode was when my youngest son was diagnosed autistic at 4 years. I was in my forties and I had developed fibromyalgia (not that I knew it then) and it blew my mind (literally). However, I did the work on myself and now I no longer have that fear either..
I'll need to address that fear and work on it. It tends to go away when my mind is more sound. I can't even consider looking in to it just now, I don't have any religion or faith in my life to fall back on. Its something I've probably never thought to fix as its an inevitability.
I took a diazepam and it worked last night so I'll be taking another shortly as during the day seems worse for some reason.
LittleLionMan
08-10-22, 11:53
To balance it, I had my girlfriend over last night, my racehorse ran a top race to grab 3rd, I won £700 at the bookies, everything is going well this morning, everyone is here, I slept well, and I’m anxious as a kitten, and have no idea why.
If no one was here, I would attribute these panic attacks to being on my own, but in reality it’s just how I am at the minute.
I'll need to address that fear and work on it. It tends to go away when my mind is more sound. I can't even consider looking in to it just now, I don't have any religion or faith in my life to fall back on. Its something I've probably never thought to fix as its an inevitability.
In other countries children are taught about death from a young age, whereas we tend to tip-toe around the subject until it cannot be ignored. Then it's a shitty time trying to find the right words to say to our kids when they ask where Grandma is. Is it any wonder so many people fear death? And you don't need a faith to accept death; plenty of atheists manage it. (Just think of it as going back to the state of non-existence from before your ma and dad got jiggy and created you).
We can break down our fear of death and work with each separate fear, as in, Will it hurt? What will happen to my children? Will my wife/husband cope without me?
There are some good websites to look at, such as this one.
http://www.joincake.com/blog/death-positive/
I can't even consider looking in to it just now
The problem here is that you feel too scared to do it now, but when you feel better, you won't want to broach this 'morbid' subject. You'll be busy making up for lost time on other things. So, the fear remains, albeit in hibernation until the next trigger.
I took a diazepam and it worked last night so I'll be taking another shortly as during the day seems worse for some reason.
The fears are still there when you take the meds, Colin, they just dumb down the symptoms of anxiety. It's not a good idea to rely on meds indefinitely. Only learning to challenge your thoughts and reframing how you see death will help you long-term.
Fear of death is like any other phobia; you have to expose yourself to it as much as you can, not hide from it. (Or try and medicate the fear into hibernation).
Death will happen to us all. To you, me, our kids, their kids - literally every living thing on his planet will eventually die (Even Bruce Forsyth went in the end, and he was 203) :yesyes:
I hope the weekend was manageable, Colin? The main thing was to get through it and to cope with the anxiety symptoms and intrusive thoughts. Short term it's a question of taking it hour by hour. You've explained your situation to your work colleagues so they are aware which takes the pressure off a bit..I hope?
Just take things slowly and steadily. Don't expect too much of yourself?
Hi Nora, I'm in a bit of a trap, I've tried to face a few fears and they end up biting back hard and set me back. I've always been a nervous person even as a kid and self-medicated with alcohol all through my 20s and into my 30s. Not great.
I just want to get back on an even keel with my Escitalopram and maybe in a while, look to remove it again but it a much more controlled manner. My main doctor said to reduce my medication by dropping to 5mg for a month then stop. That's what I did they ended up with mood swings and a complete relapse as all the fears and waves of panic came in floods again. I have also spoken with the mental health person to re-do some coping techniques and see how I go.
I think there is also the low mood that I can't just magic away, I used to run 4/5 times a week getting more exercise than I probably needed and even the runners high and bouts of good chemicals still couldn't keep me from feeling down. Imagine sitting playing with my kids and having floods of tears running down your face - even in such a happy moment I was utterly along and sad. I'm not sure that is something I can just face up to and dream away?
I've only taken 2mg Fri, Sat and Sun to take the edge off my main jitters while the Escitalopram gets going again as it usually kicks my arse for a few days by being unable to eat, sleep, and increased angst. Thankfully it done it's job and I had the best sleep in weeks last night.
Thanks for all the replies, I do think I need to work on this fear but small steps at a time.
I'm glad to hear that you slept well last night and do think that diazepam is a useful drug when the going gets really tough and you need some immediate chemical "help". When the usual self-help techniques don't even touch the constant panic.
Get settled on the escitalopram again and don't think about coming off it whilst you are working on getting back to how you were before this episode?
Hi Nora, I'm in a bit of a trap, I've tried to face a few fears and they end up biting back hard and set me back. I've always been a nervous person even as a kid and self-medicated with alcohol all through my 20s and into my 30s. Not great.
I self-medicated with alcohol until my body would no longer permit it, Colin, so I do understand you. I was in my forties when I developed fibro and with that came chemical sensitivity. I can't drink alcohol anymore and I can't tolerate most medications. I was taken off the anti-anxiety meds because of the severity of the side-effects, so I had no choice but to sort my head out with therapy alone. (And that did me a huge favour)
I just want to get back on an even keel with my Escitalopram and maybe in a while, look to remove it again but it a much more controlled manner. My main doctor said to reduce my medication by dropping to 5mg for a month then stop. That's what I did they ended up with mood swings and a complete relapse as all the fears and waves of panic came in floods again. I have also spoken with the mental health person to re-do some coping techniques and see how I go.
Sounds like a good plan, Colin. (But it is important that you do the therapy too)
I think there is also the low mood that I can't just magic away, I used to run 4/5 times a week getting more exercise than I probably needed and even the runners high and bouts of good chemicals still couldn't keep me from feeling down. Imagine sitting playing with my kids and having floods of tears running down your face - even in such a happy moment I was utterly along and sad.
I don't have to imagine this because I know what that feels like. I had clinical depression which resulted in my first breakdown. Except that I eventually stopped crying; I stopped feeling. (And it was far worse than anything my anxious brain has ever thrown at me)
I'm not sure that is something I can just face up to and dream away?
You can't dream anxiety and depression away. You have to do the work. Medication is often necessary (and can be incredibly helpful) but that's only part of what needs to be done.
Diazepam is a very useful short-term drug, but not a long-term one. Your body will get used to any medication you take, and it will become less effective - meaning you have to take more to get the desired effect. As soon as you start to come off the medication, the chances are that the problems will increase again because only the symptoms have been controlled and not the psychological cause. (For instance, your fear of death). Meds are great (when they work) but they've yet to invent a pill that can remove the fear of death. The physical symptoms from that fear? Absolutely. But not the fear itself. (Only one thing can do that, and that's you facing the fear)
I've only taken 2mg Fri, Sat and Sun to take the edge off my main jitters while the Escitalopram gets going again as it usually kicks my arse for a few days by being unable to eat, sleep, and increased angst. Thankfully it done it's job and I had the best sleep in weeks last night.
Glad to hear you got some zonk. :yesyes:
I do think I need to work on this fear but small steps at a time.
The most important step you will ever take is towards the acceptance of your own mortality, and that you might get ill one day (but that doesn't mean you'll die) and ultimately that every human is designed for survival, and that's what fight or flight and all those unpleasant symptoms are about. The world will not fall apart without you. (You'll be missed, obviously, but life will carry on)
You're here now, Colin. (And this moment is the only guarantee any of us really have)
You can get yourself to a better place, if you are prepared to put the effort in. (And it's not going to happen overnight)
LittleLionMan
22-10-22, 14:17
That little blip I was moaning about was actually Covid, and I’m really struggling to get going again now.
I’ve had an enormous workload over the last week and it’s properly frazzled my brain.
I can’t think clearly, am crazy anxious, and can’t settle down.
working 14 hour days with Covid is obviously the trigger of it, but I’m in a real mess today.
It’s all cognitive symptoms, and I just feel worn out.
Any advice?
You're probably frazzled because of doing too much and having Covid. Cut yourself some slack and do some nice things, play a game, read, anything.
LittleLionMan
22-10-22, 21:44
Yep. I think most people would just acknowledge that they are really bloody exhausted and just take it easy and get a couple of early nights. I just obviously struggle to do that.
I keep reminding myself of what’s logically going on, but it doesn’t seem to help.
I hope you’re OK.
I think that this could be because you're always looking for a "deeper" reason rather than sticking to the obvious?
Have you applied for the Villa job yet?:D
LittleLionMan
23-10-22, 10:27
Yeah, I just feel extremely confused and foggy, and anxiety is really high. I don’t know what to to do to be honest. I’m worried about myself.
I can’t remember ever feeling quite like this, and it always catches me out when it presents differently.
Haha, I couldn’t be any worse than Stevie!
Couldn't you just be tired and recovering from covid? Why do you need to do anything?
LittleLionMan
23-10-22, 16:37
Couldn't you just be tired and recovering from covid? Why do you need to do anything?
This is exactly what I’m screaming at myself to be honest.
You don't need to "scream" this at yourself. Far too dramatic. Just remind yourself calmly?
LittleLionMan
24-10-22, 08:36
Yeah, I mean I keep telling myself that.
I pushed through last night, spent the evening with my girlfriend, couldn’t eat as I felt too sick, couldn’t sleep, and have woken up in a real mess, and everyone goes away today for 3 days. The panic has well and truly set in.
The 4-0 was a highlight of the weekend though! Hope Gerrard was watching!
LittleLionMan
27-10-22, 14:20
Still bloody rough.
Burning up and totally out of it.
Reassurance seeking, I know, but is it normal to still feel this rough a week and a half after having Covid? It’s been a week and a half since me negative test now.
* this isn’t written in a panic by the way, it’s just bloody p*ssing me off now. Fed up of feeling rough.
LittleLionMan
11-11-22, 14:59
Hi all,
Long post, but I’m in a bit of a pickle here, so wanted to write it out to see if it makes sense.
I had Covid a few weeks ago (not vaccinated), and it was really bad. At the same time, I had loads of work on, and we were a man down in the office, so I was basically doing 14 hours days for 3 weeks whilst handling Covid.
Work has quietened down now, lots of free time, at which point I expected to feel relief and thought it would give me a chance to settle down and do lots of things for me. It hasn’t.
I slept well Wednesday night, and woke up really tired, got myself up and worked at my desk and was done with my work by about 11am.
I started trying to get Peter Kay tickets about 10, and was refreshing the app constantly to try and get tickets, and I was like a fireball of nervous energy, almost hyper for hours.
Everyone went out about 1ish, and I was just bouncing around, wired on my own, couldn’t sit still and couldn’t settle. I say this, because I wonder if staring at my phone stressing for hours could be what’s pushed me over (I was getting really frustrated for hours).
Text my gf, and we watched SAS Heroes, me thinking the TV show and the chat might be a helpful distraction, but I couldn’t focus on the show.
We then had people over for the football, so I sat through that, and then when I went to bed about 10:30, I got incredibly anxious eventually getting to sleep about 1.
Today has just been horrible. The anxiety I have been getting over the last few days is like nothing I’ve experienced in a very long time, I just flick into a full blown panic attack out of nowhere, and I can’t handle it.
Burning up (which I never get), heart racing, totally floaty, can’t come back down. They are full blown panic attacks, it’s really really bad, and I don’t know what to do.
I can’t think of anything I’ve necessarily done ‘wrong’, but it’s like ever since I had covid and was working all the hours I did, it’s like something has changed, and I’m terrified of what I’ve done to myself.
Do anyone have any advice?
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