Dimdim101
13-12-21, 07:48
Hi Everyone,
I haven't posted in a little bit. I have been dealing with bad health anxiety ever since the covid vaccine. About a month ago, I developed what I think to be emotional numbness as a result of all of my intense worrying. I can feel emotions/feelings in my body, but i don't "feel" the chemical rush in my head at all - it is like a feeling of being flat/brain dead which is really scaring me. I can't feel endorphins, and I don't feel the rush of adrenaline either, even when something makes me anxious (it's as if that adrenaline is there 24/7 and never leaves, meaning I can never feel relaxed either) :(
I couldn't shake the fact that I have a brain tumour, so after a month of trying my best to keep calm, I caved and got a brain MRI. Everything returned normal EXCEPT 1 focussed area of FLAIR hyperintensity - i know these seem to be common with migraine sufferers, which I am (and I get auras too), or even an incidental finding just in the general population. However, everywhere I read it says that migraine sufferers usually get these lesions in the deep white matter, but mine is touching one of my ventricles (periventricular area), which it says is much less common. I'm scared it could be something sinister beginning, like MS (which I read is often seen in this area) - I know usually this presents with more symptoms (e.g. more lesions etc) but now I'm worried this is the beginning of MS. I wasn't even thinking about MS before the MRI!!!
I don't think the lesion is related to the emotional numbness so hoping that can go in time as I settle my anxiety (I have started seeing a psychologist also).
Just wondering if anyone else has had these before and it is nothing sinister - I only have 1 (my sister actually has one too, but hers was described as 'tiny' and in a different area). I guess my fears stem moreso from the area its located than anything else, as I know they can be common, but I thought usually not in that area. The doctor said I could get a follow up scan in 6 months for reassurance but I'm not sure I can handle the wait...I want to find a way to just let go and move on as the last few weeks have been terrible worrying:weep: I'm only 25 and really just want to live my life.
Edit: to clarify, my lesion was described as 'abutting the left ventricle' which is what comes up when you search for location of MS lesions :(
I haven't posted in a little bit. I have been dealing with bad health anxiety ever since the covid vaccine. About a month ago, I developed what I think to be emotional numbness as a result of all of my intense worrying. I can feel emotions/feelings in my body, but i don't "feel" the chemical rush in my head at all - it is like a feeling of being flat/brain dead which is really scaring me. I can't feel endorphins, and I don't feel the rush of adrenaline either, even when something makes me anxious (it's as if that adrenaline is there 24/7 and never leaves, meaning I can never feel relaxed either) :(
I couldn't shake the fact that I have a brain tumour, so after a month of trying my best to keep calm, I caved and got a brain MRI. Everything returned normal EXCEPT 1 focussed area of FLAIR hyperintensity - i know these seem to be common with migraine sufferers, which I am (and I get auras too), or even an incidental finding just in the general population. However, everywhere I read it says that migraine sufferers usually get these lesions in the deep white matter, but mine is touching one of my ventricles (periventricular area), which it says is much less common. I'm scared it could be something sinister beginning, like MS (which I read is often seen in this area) - I know usually this presents with more symptoms (e.g. more lesions etc) but now I'm worried this is the beginning of MS. I wasn't even thinking about MS before the MRI!!!
I don't think the lesion is related to the emotional numbness so hoping that can go in time as I settle my anxiety (I have started seeing a psychologist also).
Just wondering if anyone else has had these before and it is nothing sinister - I only have 1 (my sister actually has one too, but hers was described as 'tiny' and in a different area). I guess my fears stem moreso from the area its located than anything else, as I know they can be common, but I thought usually not in that area. The doctor said I could get a follow up scan in 6 months for reassurance but I'm not sure I can handle the wait...I want to find a way to just let go and move on as the last few weeks have been terrible worrying:weep: I'm only 25 and really just want to live my life.
Edit: to clarify, my lesion was described as 'abutting the left ventricle' which is what comes up when you search for location of MS lesions :(