BlueIris
14-12-21, 13:13
So, to get the basics out of the way:
Yes, of course I want it, I've wanted this particular one for around three years now.
Yes, I have two others, I know roughly what to expect.
No, I'm not afraid of needles.
Yes, I'm definitely looking forward to it.
However, after a brief scare when I thought the appointment was going to be cancelled, crap just got real and the nausea and shakes have kicked in. My last tattoo experience was a bit of a nightmare; the artist was yelling at me and making threats about what would happen if I didn't relax muscles I hadn't even known I was tensing. I landed up with a beautiful piece of artwork and some seriously traumatic memories.
This time round I've found a lovely female artist, and today she gave me a preview of what she drew up from the references I gave her. It's beautiful, it makes my heart sing and I'm struggling not to show it to everyone I know.
Anxiety always finds a way, though, and I've convinced myself I'll manage to screw it up somehow and/or make myself even uglier. Annoyingly, I'm at work with a lot to be doing today and my focus isn't really the greatest.
Not particularly seeking advice or reassurance, just wanted to put it out there - even writing about how scared I'm feeling still leaves me feeling excited about it. I haven't wanted anything this much in a while, which is possibly why the fear's spiking.
Yes, of course I want it, I've wanted this particular one for around three years now.
Yes, I have two others, I know roughly what to expect.
No, I'm not afraid of needles.
Yes, I'm definitely looking forward to it.
However, after a brief scare when I thought the appointment was going to be cancelled, crap just got real and the nausea and shakes have kicked in. My last tattoo experience was a bit of a nightmare; the artist was yelling at me and making threats about what would happen if I didn't relax muscles I hadn't even known I was tensing. I landed up with a beautiful piece of artwork and some seriously traumatic memories.
This time round I've found a lovely female artist, and today she gave me a preview of what she drew up from the references I gave her. It's beautiful, it makes my heart sing and I'm struggling not to show it to everyone I know.
Anxiety always finds a way, though, and I've convinced myself I'll manage to screw it up somehow and/or make myself even uglier. Annoyingly, I'm at work with a lot to be doing today and my focus isn't really the greatest.
Not particularly seeking advice or reassurance, just wanted to put it out there - even writing about how scared I'm feeling still leaves me feeling excited about it. I haven't wanted anything this much in a while, which is possibly why the fear's spiking.