What happened to this place?

[always scared]

When I joined back in 2008 there was so many people on here. So helpful. I can't count how many times I felt welcomed and comforted
I feel so lost and scared now . Not even my medication is helping anymore. No one is on here anymore and the ones that are don't like me much.:weep: I know I can be difficult at times but I don't mean to come across rude as they say. I'm not sure what I'm doing is rude. I'm just so scared and not thinking right . When I get into a health panic I can't think straight and I come here to get snapped out of it and get some reassuring words of comfort. I would love to hear from people who have or had the same symptoms as me and had happy endings.

I am at the very bottom of my rabbit hole and see no light at the top anymore.


Thanks for listening
Mary

Please no more rolling your eyes or laughing at me. I don't think I can take it anymore :weep:

[BlueIris]

I'm so sorry you're hurting. Have you asked your doctor about switching medications? Are you able to access therapy?

Ultimately, no matter how much it might feel like it your symptoms aren't the problem - that's your faulty thought patterns. I always found that kind of comforting, but your mileage may vary, obviously.

Hostility and threats to leave can rub people up the wrong way - we're all mentally ill here, after all. Anxiety makes us act in ways we normally wouldn't, though, so it's understandable and I really doubt anybody's judging you.

In the end, the best way to deal with HA is to take charge, but that can be so hard. I'm not good at offering reassurance because I think it only reinforces unhelpful thought patterns, but I promise I'm rooting for you.

[kyllikki]

My view is that it is the pandemic - everyone is exhausted, burnt out, and not willing to help others because they are barely afloat, themselves.

But I too have lurked for about 8 years now and am sad to see the decline you note. It's odd to me, because nobody here is obligated to visit this forum and read people's posts or reply!
So why stop to judge or critique someone's coping technique? Better to say nothing if you have no energy for good wishes, yeah?

I also see a (dare I say, very American) "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" dogma appears to be in favor at the moment, and while obviously everyone here does need to really want to improve their anxiety...

a) motivation / bootstrapping may look different for different people
b) progress is very rarely linear and/or continuous
c) ...it's difficult, exhausting work!!

Anyway, my approach to unhelpful people is an inner eyebrow raise + scrolling right on by
They might need to do better, yes, but it's not my place to critique or teach.
If only they felt the same.... :)

True best wishes to you, Mary, may your new year be brighter!

[Carys]

I've not seen any responses that you are referring to always scared, so I can't comment about individual threads or posts. However, I will say that everybody is here because they have their own reasons to be here (I agree with all that Blue wrote above)- regulars who try hard to be supportive, just like everybody else right now, are exhausted with the last 2 years. Its incredibly draining replying over and over and sometimes - yes - people get frustrated (just as they do IRL). Also, to remember, this is a public forum where you will get the views of a massive variety of people, whom have a massive variety of differences of opinion to you. Sometimes it might not be what you personally want to hear, and I know it can feel tough when you are vulnerable emotionally, but it just needs to be accepted that not all replies will be what you feel are appropriate for you.

I think there are also many people who come here and 'give' nothing back (I don't know if you are one of those, as I don't know what threads of others you have replied on - so this isn't a personal comment at all). If everybody coming here gave something to others, and made replies on different threads, it would certainly make it a very different place. Of course there is no requirement to do that but I still find it sad to see so many unanswered posts. I guess what I'm saying is - if people are unhappy with the 'atmosphere' then its time to try and make a little difference to it.


I would love to hear from people who have or had the same symptoms as me and had happy endings.

Do you mean who have had HA and a 'happy ending' ?I don't have HA as a major problem any longer, whereas in younger life it consumed me.

[BlueIris]

I like that a lot, Carys - be the change you want to see in the world.

I wouldn't say I've recovered from HA but I'm certainly in remission.

[MrLurcher]

I think a lot of people on here are probably exhausted after offering such kindness over the years. Looking back through the forum, there's definitely been an increase in people suffering from HA, and there's only so much people can help/offer advice.

I don't get that many replies these days, but that doesn't surprise me because I've probably annoyed a lot of people with constant reassurance seeking.

[nomorepanic]

Some people give and some take.

It would be nice to see that those that take post on other people's threads and not just their own.

This is a FREE resource and I am sure they are loads of other anxiety websites to post on if you feel NMP isn't serving you well.

Sorry you feel this way but we can't all reply to everyone all the time when we can't relate to things.

[kyllikki]

I do feel like I need to thank you and the other mods, Nic, a dozen times over for keeping this place up and running. I really hope my post partially agreeing with always scared (Mary) didn't read as ingratitude, as I certainly didn't mean it that way!!
Just strikes me the pandemic has really, really ground people down, and... it's noticeable in a lot of posts. Which is an awful shame.

I think Carys makes my point better than I do, actually -- it'd be really nice if everyone tried to help, and from a place of genuine generosity, too. And count me in for that -- at least, I'll do my best despite being a bit shy of public internetting.

Best wishes all around though, and real thanks too :bighug1:

[AnxietySufferer]

Health anxiety is the absolute worst. I feel for you a lot. I have also been around on here for a long time. I tend to be here when my anxiety is at its worse, because helping others makes me rationalise my own worries a little bit more. Its almost like I can see it more from an outsiders perspective. But, I also find it can be overwhelming and some of the posts can be triggering. So, I think when people are looking for reassurance and its not going in, that is probably when i would choose not to comment. Also agree with others that people are wrapped up in their own lives and struggling themselves offline so maybe need time to get better themselves.

I hope you start feeling better soon!

[Cptdebbie]

Dear Always Scared,

I have commented on at least one of your posts. In that comment, I suggested a tactic that had helped me. I was only trying to help.

Im so sorry, though, if I nevertheless hurt you or made things worse. I only have compassion for anyone who deals with this illness.

I pray for at least a few moments peace for all of us this holiday weekend.

Sincerely,
Debbie

[always scared]

Thank you all for your replies

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas! I hope your day was full of love and laughter with your loved ones :hugs:

Merry Christmas https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/t7/1/16/1f384.png