Vision Issues, Feeling Spacey, Anxiety?

[.Poppy.]

Hi all, I am welcoming 2022 with a fresh wave of anxiety, which is awesome. I have a few non-health stressors on my plate, which likely isn't helping matters.

My eyes have been bothering me as of late. They have a pretty drastic difference in prescription - one -1.25 the other -4.00. For that reason, I struggle with eyestrain on computers/my phone and scrolling seems to make it worse because even though I wear contacts it takes just an extra second to refocus - I'm not sure how much of that people with normal vision have when scrolling through their phone or on webpages?

Recently, though, I've had a lot of trouble with eye strain - it's like my eyes are focused fine, but mentally I'm wondering if they are truly focused, so I'll do a lot of like focusing and unfocusing to try to see where my eyes are most comfortable. But when I unfocus, and then bring whatever I'm looking at back into focus, it's like my eye feels strained doing so. Part of me is saying "that's normal, you're just falling for an anxiety trap!" and the other part is totally freaked out. I had a vision test in November and everything was perfectly fine, which I guess is a small comfort?

Sometimes too when I'm reading it's like I can see the whole sentence, but it's hard for me to focus on each individual word. But I've noticed only certain monitors bring this out, so it's likely an eyestrain thing?

I've also struggled with dizziness - like if I move my eyes too quickly it takes me a minute to restabilize.

I've also just kind of struggled with feeling spaced out. I've noticed sometimes I'll go to say something and I can't quite recall a specific word that I'm looking for in my sentence.

I'm sure much of this is anxiety, it's just hard because I feel like I have 100 things to do and not enough time to get them all done, especially when I'm struggling besides.

[kyllikki]

I could have written every single word of this myself (including the eye prescription imbalance, isn't it awful?!) and I really 100% think it's from screens + stress

mine is better after taking a few days off from computers.... rare luxury, though, in these times

All the best, good luck to you...

[.Poppy.]

Thanks. It's probably a combo of that, but it's been difficult.

I succumbed to Googling but it didn't matter because I didn't really turn anything up anyway.

I don't want to go to the eye doctor again as it seems overkill, I don't want to waste the copay, and I don't really know what to say anyway since it's really hard for me to articulate exactly what's wrong. I'm sure he'd think I'm crazy.

It's just like I'm trying harder to focus, and constantly thinking "is that in focus, or is it blurry?". I've noticed focusing on computer screens is extra hard, I have to really concentrate my eyes to try and read clearly. Some of that I think is that light seems to be bothering me - if there is a contrast between light and dark the light kind of "wins" making it harder to make out dark. So if I'm in a lighted hallway looking into a darker (not totally dark) room, I can't make out what's in there as well. And when I look at black text on a white page, it's harder to see the black text.

I also noticed today that when I look at something lighter and then immediately at a dark surface, there is a bit of an afterimage- not an exact one, just like a flash of light. I was looking at my hex tile in my bathroom, for example, and looking at the floor to the dark wood cabinet I would get a quick flash and then I'd see for just a second like a light hex pattern. No idea if this is normal.

I was also looking at myself in the mirror, and I have a window so a lot of light was coming in. It was almost like I felt I couldn't see myself very well with the light coming in from the side.

Of course all of this is just making me freaked out and frustrated, and making it hard to concentrate. It's also been giving me a headache and slowing down my work. It could all be anxiety, and I hope it is, and that in a week or so it will have passed but I don't know.

I previously had an issue where if there was a contrast, so like a white paper above a darker floor, and I wasn't focusing on the item and the item moved, I would see a faint trail of light. I don't see it when focused, just when not. I actively ignore it now and it's been years and no doctor seems concerned so it must not be concerning, but I have no idea if that happens to other people or not, and it makes me afraid that I'm just going to have to start living with this too.

[.Poppy.]

Definitely struggling more today. I had really bad eye strain yesterday, so I stayed home today with a headache. Woke up in the middle of the night in a panic because I thought I could hear my ears ringing, whatever that means. Had a panic attack yesterday because I looked in the mirror and swore I saw my eye twitch. Just had a panic this morning because I thought I was doing better and just had a sudden wave of dizziness.

I will see where I’m at next week and go from there I guess. Not even sure what I’m afraid of but a bunch of what ifs have crossed my mind and fed my fear. I can’t tell if my vision is cloudy or grainy or unfocused or jumping, or if it’s just me being foolish.

[Chlobo]

Heya, I've read through your thread and just wanted to comment.
My vision has been feeling 'off' the last week or so.
I have always had after images, so if I look at something on the TV and I then look at the white wall next to it I can see the outline of what I was looking at. I have had this for years but the last week I feel like maybe I'm noticing it more? Or maybe it's happening more who knows. My eyes seem to feel worse when I'm it's dark and I have the main lights on. It's almost like the darkness and the artificial light makes things look sort of fuzzed and weird?
I've also been messing up words as of late, stuttering a little the odd time.
I went to the optician yesterday because I've been so worried, he did my eye check and said everything seemed okay apart from a small amount of short sight in one eye, so he gave me a small glasses prescription.
I'm trying to ignore my vision, and not focus as much on it but it's very hard.

[.Poppy.]

I'm sorry you're going through this as well. It's not fun at all - there are just so many weird things with my vision right now I can't decide if it means it's just anxiety or that something is really wrong. I took yesterday off and just rested, which was nice and did help me feel a bit better.