sophb
17-01-22, 14:01
I semi impulsively decided to go on my first big solo trip. The idea was brought up and all of a sudden everything was booked and I feel like I never had the opportunity to process that it was actually happening. My anxiety got considerably worse throughout the pandemic and I lost a lot of friends resulting in my support system being mostly made up of my family. I am on day two of my 4 month trip and feel so anxious and just the anticipation of being alone for so long is freaking me out. I am so angry at myself because I feel like I would've been able to do this before the pandemic. I feel like I would've had so much less anxiety, been so much more outgoing, and just overall happier. I feel so bad telling my parents about how I am feeling because I don't want them to worry about me and they also are so optimistic about me doing this that I don't want to let them down. I have always loved traveling with others and previously thought it was something I was really good at, but now seeing how much my mental health has impacted my passions is a horrible realization. I don't want to look back on this trip and regret either going home early or not doing everything I want to because of anxiety. I just don't know what to do and how to overcome this. I feel like I really messed up by isolating myself, as this time it is my fault I'm alone.
I guess I just wanted to know if anyone had advice or have been in a similar situation.
I guess I just wanted to know if anyone had advice or have been in a similar situation.