PUGLETMUM
19-11-07, 16:50
:D hi all,
this is for everyone but i think it is most relevant to anybody who is agoraphobic, or who is becoming that way. im going to try and keep it as short as possible?!?!mainly im writing to inspire anyone who thinks they will never get to a better place - i dont say get back to where you were, because i think if youve been agorophobic you will never be who you were - you will be better than you were!!!!:yesyes:
today, after 7 years depending on my husband,and sometimes on my mother-in-law, i took the first proper step to my future - i went shopping in my town alone for the first time in 8 years!!!!!i felt yukky most of the time (anxiety and pms and a bit of sinus trouble to boot!),but ive been training myself for this for years and years without realising it!!!:wacko:
ive never been housbound,but i couldnt go into shops alone,for fear of panicking at tills or just panicking full stop, and also the habit to not be alone had become so strong(but still only a habit,and they CAN be broken),but ive slowly weaned myself off this dependance on my husband,because i dont feel i will have a future if i cant be independant(that is personal to me, im not suggesting anyone else feels this way), well i will hae a future but not the one i want.
right so right back in the day when this was starting i would go into shops and feel as though i would fall over all of the time, ive had the rushes at the tills, and ive spent years looking over my shoulder to check where husband was:blush: so ive had all the symptoms everyone else has,but very rarely have i run!!! okay so ive not run, but ive not been on my own, so that was my limit, doing the things i could but never stretching myself to go further. but i realise now that although i wasnt really stretching myself, i was still uncomfortable but doing it anyway.
id had a few little successes over the years but it usually came to nothing:shrug: so my advice is to feel the fear and do it anyway, but only in 45 minute steps and also to do it in steps - not to try to run before you can walk, but you must do it often - everyday:ohmy: yes everyday, because otherwise you slip back into living with agoro,instead of trying to beat it.btw,you cant expect to not feel anxious- you will but my book says that is great because that is the sign your doing the right thing - if your not anxious then its probably something you can do, and so therfore it is no challenge to you, you dont feel anxious so your not moving out of your comfort zone. and when you do feel anxious instead of trying to get rid of it you have to encourage it for a long time, so you can work out the best way to support yourself, for me today that was to remind myself of all of my options and to keep encouraging myself - i could write a list as long as my arm of the situations i will still avoid, but im going to tackle them now one at a time, and eventually i will feel confident that i can live my life AND feel anxious,this is the key as life events will always create stress which can always create anxiety, but i know you can function and feel anxious, it doesnt have to be the end of your life:yesyes:
this is for everyone but i think it is most relevant to anybody who is agoraphobic, or who is becoming that way. im going to try and keep it as short as possible?!?!mainly im writing to inspire anyone who thinks they will never get to a better place - i dont say get back to where you were, because i think if youve been agorophobic you will never be who you were - you will be better than you were!!!!:yesyes:
today, after 7 years depending on my husband,and sometimes on my mother-in-law, i took the first proper step to my future - i went shopping in my town alone for the first time in 8 years!!!!!i felt yukky most of the time (anxiety and pms and a bit of sinus trouble to boot!),but ive been training myself for this for years and years without realising it!!!:wacko:
ive never been housbound,but i couldnt go into shops alone,for fear of panicking at tills or just panicking full stop, and also the habit to not be alone had become so strong(but still only a habit,and they CAN be broken),but ive slowly weaned myself off this dependance on my husband,because i dont feel i will have a future if i cant be independant(that is personal to me, im not suggesting anyone else feels this way), well i will hae a future but not the one i want.
right so right back in the day when this was starting i would go into shops and feel as though i would fall over all of the time, ive had the rushes at the tills, and ive spent years looking over my shoulder to check where husband was:blush: so ive had all the symptoms everyone else has,but very rarely have i run!!! okay so ive not run, but ive not been on my own, so that was my limit, doing the things i could but never stretching myself to go further. but i realise now that although i wasnt really stretching myself, i was still uncomfortable but doing it anyway.
id had a few little successes over the years but it usually came to nothing:shrug: so my advice is to feel the fear and do it anyway, but only in 45 minute steps and also to do it in steps - not to try to run before you can walk, but you must do it often - everyday:ohmy: yes everyday, because otherwise you slip back into living with agoro,instead of trying to beat it.btw,you cant expect to not feel anxious- you will but my book says that is great because that is the sign your doing the right thing - if your not anxious then its probably something you can do, and so therfore it is no challenge to you, you dont feel anxious so your not moving out of your comfort zone. and when you do feel anxious instead of trying to get rid of it you have to encourage it for a long time, so you can work out the best way to support yourself, for me today that was to remind myself of all of my options and to keep encouraging myself - i could write a list as long as my arm of the situations i will still avoid, but im going to tackle them now one at a time, and eventually i will feel confident that i can live my life AND feel anxious,this is the key as life events will always create stress which can always create anxiety, but i know you can function and feel anxious, it doesnt have to be the end of your life:yesyes: