rodney76
19-11-07, 18:11
Hello all, my name is Steve. i'm a 31 year old fun loving geordie with a bad habit of over analysing my own mind. I have had a number of episodes of extreme prolonged anxiety one of which has just struck recently and left me feeling the sort of despair I wouldnt wish on my worst enemy.
I guess I've always been quite a nervous person but my worst anxiety/panic is triggered by relationships where I constantly find myself analysing my partner to the point where I feel like i'm going totally mad. I'm constantly asking myself "is she right for me?" or "do i think the girl over there is prettier/funnier/sexier etc". I know everyone has these thoughts but in my mind they become catastrophic and totally blind me to the lovely, intelligent beautiful person that my girlfriend is/was. I start thinking that if she was right i wouldnt be having these thoughts and eventually i end up making myself ill with all the doubts and over analysis. This leads me to think that i'll never be able to cope with relationships and therefore will never be able to have a family etc etc which just leads into a downward spiral of despair and depression.
I recently finished with a girlfriend of 3 months for precisely the above reasons though i have since explained my reasons and i'm hopeful that we can turn things around if only i can keep the crazy thought loop at bay.
I suppose i'm here to find kindred spirits and messages of hope cos sometimes i hate myself and my utterly beserk thoughts so much i just want to give up completely.
So there's a cheery intro eh?! And there was me saying I was fun loving!!! ha ha!
Big love to all of you out there who are going through the hell that anxiety and panic can bring cos there really isnt a lonelier place in the world than being trapped in the cycle.
I guess I've always been quite a nervous person but my worst anxiety/panic is triggered by relationships where I constantly find myself analysing my partner to the point where I feel like i'm going totally mad. I'm constantly asking myself "is she right for me?" or "do i think the girl over there is prettier/funnier/sexier etc". I know everyone has these thoughts but in my mind they become catastrophic and totally blind me to the lovely, intelligent beautiful person that my girlfriend is/was. I start thinking that if she was right i wouldnt be having these thoughts and eventually i end up making myself ill with all the doubts and over analysis. This leads me to think that i'll never be able to cope with relationships and therefore will never be able to have a family etc etc which just leads into a downward spiral of despair and depression.
I recently finished with a girlfriend of 3 months for precisely the above reasons though i have since explained my reasons and i'm hopeful that we can turn things around if only i can keep the crazy thought loop at bay.
I suppose i'm here to find kindred spirits and messages of hope cos sometimes i hate myself and my utterly beserk thoughts so much i just want to give up completely.
So there's a cheery intro eh?! And there was me saying I was fun loving!!! ha ha!
Big love to all of you out there who are going through the hell that anxiety and panic can bring cos there really isnt a lonelier place in the world than being trapped in the cycle.