Possible new mole

[Matthew1233]

Hello all

I saw this mole on my face (looks normal, colour, shape etc.) like an oval think its smaller than pencil eraser but hard to tell due to angle. I think I have noticed it before but I cannot be sure, there are a few other moles (normal looking) near it also.
I just worry about new moles as they can become cancerous.

I have other worries on my mind atm and I don't really need this tbh.

Thanks

[Fishmanpa]

I don't really need this tbh.

Then why allow it? :shrug:

FMP

[Matthew1233]

Then why allow it? :shrug:

FMP

Because unfortunately for me it is very hard not too get new worries and shift an old one out

[Fishmanpa]

Because unfortunately for me it is very hard not too get new worries and shift an old one out

Or bring an old one (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?246310-Possible-mole-worries) back again?

FMP

[Matthew1233]

Or bring an old one (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?246310-Possible-mole-worries) back again?

FMP

I cannot even remember posting that, but I would like to focus on this one I have

[kyllikki]

Hi, this used to be one of my fears but I conquered it, so perhaps I can invite you to think about a few things?

1. New moles/dark spots/pigmentation as you age is an astonishingly common thing. I have grown MANY, and I already have a lot. Some have appeared in places where the internet tells me they shouldn't - the soles of my feet, for example. I've had three derms look by now and all have said the same: Actually a really common spot; totally harmless; don't check it too often or you'll drive yourself nuts and actually counteract the benefit of checking (which is to look for change over time!)

2. Skin cancer (any type, even moreso melanoma if that's what you are worries about) is far LESS common than harmless new spots. This is even more true if you are under 40.

3. Even melanomas take time to "invade" through the skin -- months to *years*

4. Therefore!! If this is a worry you have had, even once, and you are a worrier, the best thing you can do for yourself is to set up a yearly appointment with your GP or dermatologist for a skin check... and always keep that appointment! Here in the US you can sometimes even get a health insurance coupon for doing so, it's THAT good of an idea! :)

5. Then stop worrying about the mole... It does no good

6. ...And instead focus on managing or beating your HA and anxiety. You mentioned you had a lot else on your mind at the moment.
Can I invite you to consider that maybe you are transferring that anxiety into this mole anxiety because you think it will be easier to manage, or because HA might be more familiar, for you to handle, or somehow more compartmentalized?
For me, this is how my HA often flares. Perhaps it might be the same for you, perhaps not. But it might be something to consider.

All the best. I have been down this exact path and am really happy to say I've put it very firmly behind me. I am sure you can too!!

[Fishmanpa]

I cannot even remember posting that, but I would like to focus on this one I have

Don't you see the pattern here? Its no different than the other threads and worries :shrug: What is the need to focus on this or any of the other unfounded worries and fears?

FMP

[Matthew1233]

Hi, this used to be one of my fears but I conquered it, so perhaps I can invite you to think about a few things?

1. New moles/dark spots/pigmentation as you age is an astonishingly common thing. I have grown MANY, and I already have a lot. Some have appeared in places where the internet tells me they shouldn't - the soles of my feet, for example. I've had three derms look by now and all have said the same: Actually a really common spot; totally harmless; don't check it too often or you'll drive yourself nuts and actually counteract the benefit of checking (which is to look for change over time!)

2. Skin cancer (any type, even moreso melanoma if that's what you are worries about) is far LESS common than harmless new spots. This is even more true if you are under 40.

3. Even melanomas take time to "invade" through the skin -- months to *years*

4. Therefore!! If this is a worry you have had, even once, and you are a worrier, the best thing you can do for yourself is to set up a yearly appointment with your GP or dermatologist for a skin check... and always keep that appointment! Here in the US you can sometimes even get a health insurance coupon for doing so, it's THAT good of an idea! :)

5. Then stop worrying about the mole... It does no good

6. ...And instead focus on managing or beating your HA and anxiety. You mentioned you had a lot else on your mind at the moment.
Can I invite you to consider that maybe you are transferring that anxiety into this mole anxiety because you think it will be easier to manage, or because HA might be more familiar, for you to handle, or somehow more compartmentalized?
For me, this is how my HA often flares. Perhaps it might be the same for you, perhaps not. But it might be something to consider.

All the best. I have been down this exact path and am really happy to say I've put it very firmly behind me. I am sure you can too!!

Thanks for this, and the helpful tips, what worries me more is the fact its on my face making it hard to check so I have to rely on a mirror to check. I also need to stretch my skin to see it, idk if this might make you look bigger?

[kyllikki]

Ah, the "It's on my face" problem... (I'm sorry, but it's classic!)

Here's how I would tackle

1. Do the scheduling thing above
2. Tape a small piece of paper to the side of all mirrors in house that says something cheeky or uplifting... or picture of your favorite thing
3. Whenever encountering mirror and tempted to look at mole, look instead at picture
4. Once a month, allow yourself to check the mole
5. If it gets bigger or becomes irregular or darker or whatnot (assuming it's not any of those things already, but it doesn't sound like it is...) then you can ask for a derm visit


And yes, stretching will *absolutely* change the perceived size
For the one I mentioned on my foot my derm explicitly said, yes, this is tough to deal with because you're essentially contorting the skin just to look at it properly
She gave me some suggestions on how to look at it properly (checking too often really IS counterproductive because your brain stops seeing actual bad changes) and honestly, I found that extremely grounding
Maybe when you have your regularly scheduled annual non-panic visit you can ask for similar advice!

Hope this helps. I also don't mean to give off overly sunny "look at me, I'm so chuffed I am done with this fear!" vibes to you while you're in the throes... but... it can be conquered! I promise!

[Matthew1233]

Ah, the "It's on my face" problem... (I'm sorry, but it's classic!)

Here's how I would tackle

1. Do the scheduling thing above
2. Tape a small piece of paper to the side of all mirrors in house that says something cheeky or uplifting... or picture of your favorite thing
3. Whenever encountering mirror and tempted to look at mole, look instead at picture
4. Once a month, allow yourself to check the mole
5. If it gets bigger or becomes irregular or darker or whatnot (assuming it's not any of those things already, but it doesn't sound like it is...) then you can ask for a derm visit


And yes, stretching will *absolutely* change the perceived size
For the one I mentioned on my foot my derm explicitly said, yes, this is tough to deal with because you're essentially contorting the skin just to look at it properly
She gave me some suggestions on how to look at it properly (checking too often really IS counterproductive because your brain stops seeing actual bad changes) and honestly, I found that extremely grounding
Maybe when you have your regularly scheduled annual non-panic visit you can ask for similar advice!

Hope this helps. I also don't mean to give off overly sunny "look at me, I'm so chuffed I am done with this fear!" vibes to you while you're in the throes... but... it can be conquered! I promise!

No again, thank you, I have actually been considering going to the doctors regarding recent anxiety, but Im afraid if I go ill start asking moles and such

[kyllikki]

Why not do both? "Doc, I worry too much about my health and it's distressing to me. For example, I worry about these moles. Can we come up with a plan to address both my body and mind here, so I can get some relief from this distress and make reasonably sure I stay healthy?" :)
This saves you from pure reassurance seeking -- and is two birds with one stone.