How can I work again?

[Claire is scared]

I had to quit my last job over a year ago because of my anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia.

I have been in therapy and on various meds. I have tried everything you can try, read tons of books, you name it I've tried it.

I'm better off than where I was a year ago, but I'm still no where near being able to go to work. I still can't drive very far alone or go anywhere alone. Most of my days my physical symptoms are so bad I have a hard time leaving the house. The meds I am on make me feel so tired I can't do much but sleep, how could I work a job? (I've changed meds a lot for this reason).

It seems like nothing is working. The problem is I have been out of money for over 8 months. My parents are helping me, but they cannot continue to do so. I get $300 a month from the state and am waiting to hear on my social security claim (which will most likely be denied, and even if it wasn't, I wouldn't get more than $500 a month due to my age).

I have to be able to work again - I don't have a choice. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has been in this position and what they have done. I can hardly wake up in the morning and even doing small errands exhausts me. I really don't think I'm physically capable of working, let alone mentally.

Please help, thank you so much :)

(I'm in the US btw)

[angiebaby]

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I have been off work now for 5 1/2 months and the thought of going back absolutely terrifies me. I know i shouldn't think like this but i really don't think that i will manage at all. I see the doctor later this week and i know that he will sign me off again for another month, no problem, but i don't think i can stay off any longer as i do not get any money. So i feel that i do not have a choice either, but to go back, but i just imagine that i will walk through the door, my legs will go and i will have to come back out again.
I know this doesn't help you at all, i am in the UK, but i just wanted you to know that i know what you are going through here.x

[MissChampers]

Just to let you know i'm in the same situation as you both. I left work because of PA's and anxiety almost 6 months ago and I don't know if i'll ever be able to work again. Every day I look for jobs but as soon as I go to pick up the phone and dial the number I bottle out. I really want to go back to work and this is the longest i've not worked in 20 years since I was 16 but the anxiety is too much for me to handle.

[eeyorelover]

I was in the same boat as you are not long ago.
What I did was I forced myself to get a part time job close to home.
Even though I don't make alot of money it's a step in the right direction for me.
I work 4 hours a day.
I don't have to be there till 9am cuz it's hard for me to get up real early.
Some days I have to boot myself out of bed to get motivated to go but I know that I HAVE TO do it so I just do.

I know it's hard believe me I do.
But for me the routine of getting up, getting ready, and doing that pittly 4 hours is breaking the hold the anxiety/panic has on me.
I feel like the more I do - the less scary it is so I do push myself a little.

I'm not to the point where I can work a full time job but for now this is what I CAN do so it's a step even tho it's a small one :)

[angiebaby]

I think it does make it harder, perhaps just the way we feel, when we have worked all of our lives and been busy and kept going. Then when you stop it is harder still. I have also worked all my life, only stopped to have three children and gone straight back after my maternity leave. I have been working since i was 14 in one way or another and now this is the longest i have been off too.
My job is very demanding and stressful and i am always looking for another job with less hours too, and i have been to interviews.
I did love my job so very much until i got ill and i would like to try and go back just to see if i could do it, even though i know it would be much to much for me yet anyway. I have thought about asking my boss if i could drop my hours but i don't think i would be able to do it to be honest. But i suppose it is an option. I have this on my mind so much at the moment as i should see the gp and should go back next week, but i am so scared too. Maybe i should bite the bullet, knowing that it will make me more ill, and ring him and say that i cannot come back doing the same hours i was doing even though it was only 23 1/2. And could i please reduce my hours for the time being.
Perhaps that is an option for us all, what do you think?

[clickaway]

Hi Claire,

I'm another one who has worked all my life - I was with the same firm from leaving school at 16 to being pensioned off aged 50.

I did do a spell of voluntary work but had to stop that after a year. I have thought about doing some different voluntary work but everytime I think about going to the volunteer bureau I get all stressed out and can't get there.

I was wondering if you can do some part time work from home and that way you would not have to travel out every day. Also, assuming it was part time, maybe you could do the work at a time of day that would suit you better.

:hugs:

[honeybee3939]

Hi Claire

The thing that helped me get back into paid work was doing voluntary work a few hours a week to start with as i hadnt worked myself for a good few years. The voluntary work did build up my confidence and because it was voluntary i didnt realy have any responsibilities which would stress me out.
I think i would have found it hard to go straight back into paid work after so long been at home.

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[lost1]

...."am waiting to hear on my social security claim (which will most likely be denied, and even if it wasn't, I wouldn't get more than $500 a month due to my age"


I endend up taking my ssi in my late 20's ---about 10 years ago.

Even if you social security is about 500, it will be suplemed, to about 760 mothly. it is not much but alows me some flxabilty as i live with my mum now helping her a bit.

ALso, about be denied benits....the main thing you need is a doctorthat is adenment in your propsal. Often that is about the time you really are beddining to need it emotionallly. panic disorder with or withouut agoraphobia is most definetly a reason to be awarded SSI/SSD funds.

[Claire is scared]

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I have been off work now for 5 1/2 months and the thought of going back absolutely terrifies me. I know i shouldn't think like this but i really don't think that i will manage at all. I see the doctor later this week and i know that he will sign me off again for another month, no problem, but i don't think i can stay off any longer as i do not get any money. Of course our mortgage still needs paying and at this rate we will not be able to get our children any xmas presents. So i feel that i do not have a choice either, but to go back, but i just imagine that i will walk through the door, my legs will go and i will have to come back out again.
I know this doesn't help you at all, i am in the UK, but i just wanted you to know that i know what you are going through here.x

Hi there,
Thanks for your post. I'm sorry to hear you unable to work as well. I can't imagine either. Are you getting any therapy or on any meds? I hope there is something that is helping you- it's so hard.

Best wishes
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/misc/progress.gif http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/buttons/edit.gif (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/editpost.php?do=editpost&p=279242)

[Claire is scared]

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I have been off work now for 5 1/2 months and the thought of going back absolutely terrifies me. I know i shouldn't think like this but i really don't think that i will manage at all. I see the doctor later this week and i know that he will sign me off again for another month, no problem, but i don't think i can stay off any longer as i do not get any money. Of course our mortgage still needs paying and at this rate we will not be able to get our children any xmas presents. So i feel that i do not have a choice either, but to go back, but i just imagine that i will walk through the door, my legs will go and i will have to come back out again.
I know this doesn't help you at all, i am in the UK, but i just wanted you to know that i know what you are going through here.x


Just to let you know i'm in the same situation as you both. I left work because of PA's and anxiety almost 6 months ago and I don't know if i'll ever be able to work again. Every day I look for jobs but as soon as I go to pick up the phone and dial the number I bottle out. I really want to go back to work and this is the longest i've not worked in 20 years since I was 16 but the anxiety is too much for me to handle.

I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. I feel for you. I wish we didn't have to worry about work because I think it makes the anxiety so much worse. Thanks for your post, I hope you are feeling better!

[Claire is scared]

Hi Claire,

I'm another one who has worked all my life - I was with the same firm from leaving school at 16 to being pensioned off aged 50.

I did do a spell of voluntary work but had to stop that after a year. I have thought about doing some different voluntary work but everytime I think about going to the volunteer bureau I get all stressed out and can't get there.

I was wondering if you can do some part time work from home and that way you would not have to travel out every day. Also, assuming it was part time, maybe you could do the work at a time of day that would suit you better.

:hugs:

Hi there,

Thanks for your suggestion. I've looked into working from home, but can't find anything. I'm also concerned because I feel like it would kinda prevent me from getting better by not allowing me to get out and have to stay at home. I keep trying though to find something cause I need money faast.

Hope you are well and thanks for your thoughts.

[Claire is scared]

Hi Claire

The thing that helped me get back into paid work was doing voluntary work a few hours a week to start with as i hadnt worked myself for a good few years. The voluntary work did build up my confidence and because it was voluntary i didnt realy have any responsibilities which would stress me out.
I think i would have found it hard to go straight back into paid work after so long been at home.

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

Hi Andrea,

I've heard that volunter work is a great way to transistion back to working. At this point I can't drive or be anywhere alone, so I can't do that yet- although I hope to someday.

Thanks again for your help!

[Claire is scared]

I was in the same boat as you are not long ago.
What I did was I forced myself to get a part time job close to home.
Even though I don't make alot of money it's a step in the right direction for me.
I work 4 hours a day.
I don't have to be there till 9am cuz it's hard for me to get up real early.
Some days I have to boot myself out of bed to get motivated to go but I know that I HAVE TO do it so I just do.

I know it's hard believe me I do.
But for me the routine of getting up, getting ready, and doing that pittly 4 hours is breaking the hold the anxiety/panic has on me.
I feel like the more I do - the less scary it is so I do push myself a little.

I'm not to the point where I can work a full time job but for now this is what I CAN do so it's a step even tho it's a small one :)

Congrats! I think it's a BIG step! That's so awesome. I really hope to be able to do the same one day. It must be so hard. Do you take any meds or therapy? How did you get to the point where you could leave the house to work?

Thanks so much

[Claire is scared]

I think it does make it harder, perhaps just the way we feel, when we have worked all of our lives and been busy and kept going. Then when you stop it is harder still. I have also worked all my life, only stopped to have three children and gone straight back after my maternity leave. I have been working since i was 14 in one way or another and now this is the longest i have been off too.
My job is very demanding and stressful and i am always looking for another job with less hours too, and i have been to interviews.
I did love my job so very much until i got ill and i would like to try and go back just to see if i could do it, even though i know it would be much to much for me yet anyway. I have thought about asking my boss if i could drop my hours but i don't think i would be able to do it to be honest. But i suppose it is an option. I have this on my mind so much at the moment as i should see the gp and should go back next week, but i am so scared too. Maybe i should bite the bullet, knowing that it will make me more ill, and ring him and say that i cannot come back doing the same hours i was doing even though it was only 23 1/2. And could i please reduce my hours for the time being.
Perhaps that is an option for us all, what do you think?

Hi,

I think you should definately reduce your hours. It will help with the stress which will help with the anxiety.

Best of luck to you!

[decca]

Yep I'm the same, Been off sick for 3 months now. Problem is that my anxiety is work place related,it's not the work just the place basically because that's where my panic attacks began and gradually got worse until I cracked and ran for the door.
My employers ( Local council) have arranged for me to see the Occupational health Doctor and a meeting with a stress councilor but I'm even anxious over that because I feel they'll just tell me to get back to work to save the council money. I'm sure that If I do and I'm ill at work again, I'll never go back again.
I wish I could win the lottery.

[angiebaby]

Ohhhh, a lottery win would be wonderful indeed!!
I got my signing off note from gp yesterday and i go back to work on Friday 30th November. Oh boy!! Scared doesn't even touch it at all.
I rang my boss and he is letting me go back doing just morning's - for now! So i will be doing 9.15 - 1.15 Mon, Tue, Thur and Fri. This is 16 hours and although it doesn't sound a lot, when i think of going there four days a week, blah! I suppose we shall see. If i can stay and do it, then i will. If i can't then i won't and i will try not to beat myself up over it and just go back on the sick!x

[decca]

Yea, that's the way Angie ,
I'm begining to feel the same way now, I'll make every effort I can to get back but if I still can't hack it I'll claim my Council pension early and have it topped up with pension credit from the government,the same as Income support for over 60's - hah !!! so much for the golden pension everyone says us council workers get.
I've been doing this job for 18 years without a blip 'til now, then because of thrift they put me in a volnerable situation as a taem co-ordinator but without any extra pay or supervisory capacity and I basically took all the flack for the teams problems,people like us don't like to show we are not coping and the employer just abuses it.
Hope all goes well for you ,take care.
Decca

[angiebaby]

I will let you know Decca. Thanks.
It is very difficult. I know that i am going back for the wrong reasons, i feel i have no choice really even though work haven't pushed me, i feel guilty i suppose. But something will have to be done at some stage and i suppose i should find out sooner rather than later if i can cope anymore or not even though i really am dreading it so much. I am still struggling to cope with just getting up in the mornings let alone anything else. I still feel very fragile and ill all the time and my counsellor does not want me to go back yet, but what can i do.
Yes, council workers are KNOWN to be well off! LOL.:D
It is a great pity that we have to go through what we do and for me, if i cannot cope and go back, then i will feel like i have lost my whole career of 20 years. I am sure you would feel the same too. You do so much to get somewhere in this world and do well and before you know it - it could be gone just like that through no fault of our own. I would be sad to end my career but if it comes to that then so be it. I, of course, have the added problem of losing my dad the way i did and working in a nursing capacity. This is going to be very hard for me anyway without anything else like that on top too. But like i said, i would just like to try once more to see if i could manage, but i think i know the answer really deep down - NO! At least then i can say i have tried and not just given up without one last shot at it. Let me know how you are going on.x

[decca]

Angie,
I'm sure we all will be thinking of you and willing you along on Friday as for career well I came into the Benefit service to help people financially that couldn't help themselves but I gave that ideal up when this government came to power and started hacking away at our benefit system making our job frustrating to say the least.
Anyway enough of the political stuff and best wishes for Friday.
Decca

[knightbabe]

I lost my job at the beginning of the year. I was soon offered a new one. However it took 6 months for my police check to come through and I was given a start date of Oct 1st. I started with PAs in July. I started work 2 weeks later than planned. The job is just around the corner from where I live. I work 5 hours a day 5 days a week. I don't think I'm ready for full time at the moment. Since starting work I have had 1 PA and that wasn't at work. On occasion I have felt that I might have a PA but I haven't gone on to have one. I take each day as it comes. I have pushed myself to go to work. In preparation for starting work I started driving my car round the block as this is where my PAs started. Each time I made the block bigger.

[decca]

Hi angie,
Been thinking of you today , how did it go ?