elliesun
19-02-22, 16:05
Hi guys,
To cut a long story short. I've posted before but I am still struggling.
In 2020, one of my family members was unwell. It was lockdown. I wasn't sleeping great. I went to pee at 4am when I was still up and still felt I had to go. I immediaitely had a panic attack as I struggle with any type of body sensations. I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up began hyperfocusing on my bladder. I tried to ignore it but my anxiety over this was sky high. No pain, just a feeling of needing to pee. I ended up going to the GP that day and they gave me antibiotics for a UTI. Turns out I didn't have one! I ended up googling and finding the name of interstitial cystitis and became convinced I had this.
2 weeks passed where I spent every day focused on my bladder, checking if I needed to go etc. I ended up going into hospital because I got myself into such a frenzy. I would spend days having panic attacks, reading about interstitial cystitis horror stories and accepting my life was over. I have awful health anxiety so I had been here before. When in hospital, I had a bladder scan. It was healthy looking. I also noticed that in hospital the anxiety dissipated becuase I knew I was safe and the frequent urge to urinate disappeared. I returned home and slowly went back to normal. It was still on my mind but no where near where it was. I would still monitor how often I needed to go. I read online that you're meant to be peeing only every 3-4 hours so I would force myself to wait that amount of time etc. I had burning only after I urinated and sometimes I felt spasms, but found out I had both BV and yeast infections causing vulvar irritation! I stopped drinking soda, alcohol and everything convincing myself this would help.
In 2021, I eventually began to feel normal. I returned to my old diet. I actually remember thinking in August that I never thought peeing would feel automatic again and non-anxiety inducing. I went on road trips, went out with friends and lived a normal 25 year olds life!
However, a bout of time off from work meant that I was home a lot in December. I lost my routine - was sleeping at 5am and waking at 3pm. One night, I let my mind drift back to the peeing anxiety and I can't get rid of it again. There have been days where I have to pee every 2 hours and there is a fair amount of urine to come out. I'm not drinking anything different.
HOWEVER, this only seems to happen at the weekends when I am off work. The rest of the time at work, I feel fine. I'm at the point where being at work is the only time I feel normal. The anxiety of my bladder - which again isn't painful or anything - is too much at home.
Today, I am at rock bottom again. I peed when I woke up at 8:30, then at 10:30, then I had to go again at 12:30, then 2:30 now I really need to go again! On a working day, I usually go 8am, 1pm, 5pm, 7pm-ish and then 11pm before bed. The increase in how often I am going today has caused horrific anxiety - I am convinced this will never go away and my life will be over and it'll progress into IC if it isn't already.
I'm so upset because 2021 for the most part allowed me to return to normal slowly, and losing my routine in December 2021 seemed to bring it all back.
I am just looking for reassurance for the last time - does this sound like IC? My doctor said this is 100% anxiety and hyperfixation on my bladder causing the issue but I just can't trust them. I am desperate and just really need to be reassured either way. :(
Sorry for the long message, I am just desperate to feel normal. I am losing everyone around me because I can't cope with the extreme anxiety around this issue.
To cut a long story short. I've posted before but I am still struggling.
In 2020, one of my family members was unwell. It was lockdown. I wasn't sleeping great. I went to pee at 4am when I was still up and still felt I had to go. I immediaitely had a panic attack as I struggle with any type of body sensations. I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up began hyperfocusing on my bladder. I tried to ignore it but my anxiety over this was sky high. No pain, just a feeling of needing to pee. I ended up going to the GP that day and they gave me antibiotics for a UTI. Turns out I didn't have one! I ended up googling and finding the name of interstitial cystitis and became convinced I had this.
2 weeks passed where I spent every day focused on my bladder, checking if I needed to go etc. I ended up going into hospital because I got myself into such a frenzy. I would spend days having panic attacks, reading about interstitial cystitis horror stories and accepting my life was over. I have awful health anxiety so I had been here before. When in hospital, I had a bladder scan. It was healthy looking. I also noticed that in hospital the anxiety dissipated becuase I knew I was safe and the frequent urge to urinate disappeared. I returned home and slowly went back to normal. It was still on my mind but no where near where it was. I would still monitor how often I needed to go. I read online that you're meant to be peeing only every 3-4 hours so I would force myself to wait that amount of time etc. I had burning only after I urinated and sometimes I felt spasms, but found out I had both BV and yeast infections causing vulvar irritation! I stopped drinking soda, alcohol and everything convincing myself this would help.
In 2021, I eventually began to feel normal. I returned to my old diet. I actually remember thinking in August that I never thought peeing would feel automatic again and non-anxiety inducing. I went on road trips, went out with friends and lived a normal 25 year olds life!
However, a bout of time off from work meant that I was home a lot in December. I lost my routine - was sleeping at 5am and waking at 3pm. One night, I let my mind drift back to the peeing anxiety and I can't get rid of it again. There have been days where I have to pee every 2 hours and there is a fair amount of urine to come out. I'm not drinking anything different.
HOWEVER, this only seems to happen at the weekends when I am off work. The rest of the time at work, I feel fine. I'm at the point where being at work is the only time I feel normal. The anxiety of my bladder - which again isn't painful or anything - is too much at home.
Today, I am at rock bottom again. I peed when I woke up at 8:30, then at 10:30, then I had to go again at 12:30, then 2:30 now I really need to go again! On a working day, I usually go 8am, 1pm, 5pm, 7pm-ish and then 11pm before bed. The increase in how often I am going today has caused horrific anxiety - I am convinced this will never go away and my life will be over and it'll progress into IC if it isn't already.
I'm so upset because 2021 for the most part allowed me to return to normal slowly, and losing my routine in December 2021 seemed to bring it all back.
I am just looking for reassurance for the last time - does this sound like IC? My doctor said this is 100% anxiety and hyperfixation on my bladder causing the issue but I just can't trust them. I am desperate and just really need to be reassured either way. :(
Sorry for the long message, I am just desperate to feel normal. I am losing everyone around me because I can't cope with the extreme anxiety around this issue.