Anyone ever feel like this?

[Faraway98]

I’ve been scared of death for as long as I can remember, but it’s never been this bad. I’ve been to therapy for health anxiety which really helped me in the past but is starting to make an appearance again. I’ve had 3 panic attacks in the past 2 weeks after avoiding them for over a year. The other night I was laying in bed when I started to think about how death is inevitable, morbid I know. I started panicking, my partner was trying to calm me down but at this point I was near inconsolably crying and verbally shouting to try and get these thoughts out of my head. It took me a good while to calm down and go to sleep. Last night I started to panic again because I felt like I was having a heart attack. I really felt hopeless, I can’t go through this again, I controlled it for so long and I feel like I’ve failed. Anyway let me get to the point of the post. It sounds stupid but last night, I felt dead. I felt like the possibility of me dying on my way home in the car was very possible and I was dead and living in some sort of dream. It felt like everything was happening in my head and the real world was somewhere else, my real partner was somewhere else and everything happening, wasn’t really happening. I kept touching my partner to make sure he was there and I put Netflix on to help me get to sleep. I feel a little better this morning but I can’t shake the off feeling. I just want to know if anyone else has ever felt this. I feel like I’m going crazy and it’s embarrassing to tell my partner. I’ve booked a therapy appointment for a couple weeks time to get me back on track but in the meantime, how can I cope? Sorry for the long post, I don’t know where else to turn right now..

[AnxietySufferer]

I’ve been scared of death for as long as I can remember, but it’s never been this bad. I’ve been to therapy for health anxiety which really helped me in the past but is starting to make an appearance again. I’ve had 3 panic attacks in the past 2 weeks after avoiding them for over a year. The other night I was laying in bed when I started to think about how death is inevitable, morbid I know. I started panicking, my partner was trying to calm me down but at this point I was near inconsolably crying and verbally shouting to try and get these thoughts out of my head. It took me a good while to calm down and go to sleep. Last night I started to panic again because I felt like I was having a heart attack. I really felt hopeless, I can’t go through this again, I controlled it for so long and I feel like I’ve failed. Anyway let me get to the point of the post. It sounds stupid but last night, I felt dead. I felt like the possibility of me dying on my way home in the car was very possible and I was dead and living in some sort of dream. It felt like everything was happening in my head and the real world was somewhere else, my real partner was somewhere else and everything happening, wasn’t really happening. I kept touching my partner to make sure he was there and I put Netflix on to help me get to sleep. I feel a little better this morning but I can’t shake the off feeling. I just want to know if anyone else has ever felt this. I feel like I’m going crazy and it’s embarrassing to tell my partner. I’ve booked a therapy appointment for a couple weeks time to get me back on track but in the meantime, how can I cope? Sorry for the long post, I don’t know where else to turn right now..

This is classic depersonalisation and it’s one of my most hated anxiety symptoms. Please try to distract yourself and hopefully you will feel like your old self soon. It will pass. The more you focus on this one the more you’ll feel it I’m afraid.

Therapy sounds like a really good idea.

[Flapj]

Sounds like classic panic. I've been there. A lot of us have. The good news is that it is not permanent and there are ways to help. Therapy is a good start. I have a prescription for benzos (klonopin) for emergency use if it gets bad. I do not recommend taking them regularly. You will be fine I promise you just need to talk to a medical provider.

[BlueIris]

I've been there. It's awful, but it passes. As others have said, therapy is a really good idea.