View Full Version : I really need help, I cannot cope
Hi all. I have severe anxiety and depression & currently on the waiting list for CBT. I have had a lot of stressful things happening in my life in the past few months & on top of this I found out on Tuesday that my husband has been in contact with a woman again that he had an affair with 2 years ago. I found out by her making a Facebook status public taking the p**s out of a message I had sent my husband a few weeks ago. He claimed there was nothing going on but I did not want to listen and told him we were over. He lashed out at me and started punching himself. I told my daughter to call the police and they came really quickly. I explained to them what happened and they asked if I wanted him arrested which I said yes. So he spent the night in the cell and the police called me the next day to say he had been released on bail on the condition he can't contact me or come near the house until 22nd March which O absolutely feel I cannot do as we have not had a day in 18 years where we haven't spoken and he is there to help with my mental illness. I called the police last night as I was concerned about his wellbeing as he had said on Tuesday night he wanted to kill himself & obviously he cannot contact me. They called him and called me back saying that he was ok & staying at a house in the town where I live. I had a feeling it was her house so when I checked her profile she had put a status up saying 'f**k off you silly b*tch' not long after the police had called to check he was ok. I absolutely cannot cope with his at all. Since I was told about his bail conditions I haven't eaten at all, every time I try to swallow food I gag and have to spit it out. I cannot sleep, and if I do I only drop off for a few minutes then I'm jolted awake again. I am having panic attacks are coming and going constantly. I went to the doctors today & she's put me on Sertraline 50mg & given me 5 tablets of Diazepam 2mg. I've been drinking chamomile tea but not sure if you can drink that with Sertraline and Diazepam, the chemist said yes but I have also read people saying their chemist said no. I really cannot cope and desperately need some coping tips to just help calm me. Walking is not helping, I cannot concentrate on anything & I can't sit still enough to watch TV or read as I'm up pacing around the house. Please, are there any techniques or anything that will relieve this as I feel like I'm in a living hell.
Hi all. I have severe anxiety and depression & currently on the waiting list for CBT. I have had a lot of stressful things happening in my life in the past few months & on top of this I found out on Tuesday that my husband has been in contact with a woman again that he had an affair with 2 years ago. I found out by her making a Facebook status public taking the p**s out of a message I had sent my husband a few weeks ago. He claimed there was nothing going on but I did not want to listen and told him we were over. He lashed out at me and started punching himself. I told my daughter to call the police and they came really quickly. I explained to them what happened and they asked if I wanted him arrested which I said yes. So he spent the night in the cell and the police called me the next day to say he had been released on bail on the condition he can't contact me or come near the house until 22nd March which O absolutely feel I cannot do as we have not had a day in 18 years where we haven't spoken and he is there to help with my mental illness. I called the police last night as I was concerned about his wellbeing as he had said on Tuesday night he wanted to kill himself & obviously he cannot contact me. They called him and called me back saying that he was ok & staying at a house in the town where I live. I had a feeling it was her house so when I checked her profile she had put a status up saying 'f**k off you silly b*tch' not long after the police had called to check he was ok. I absolutely cannot cope with his at all. Since I was told about his bail conditions I haven't eaten at all, every time I try to swallow food I gag and have to spit it out. I cannot sleep, and if I do I only drop off for a few minutes then I'm jolted awake again. I am having panic attacks are coming and going constantly. I went to the doctors today & she's put me on Sertraline 50mg & given me 5 tablets of Diazepam 2mg. I've been drinking chamomile tea but not sure if you can drink that with Sertraline and Diazepam, the chemist said yes but I have also read people saying their chemist said no. I really cannot cope and desperately need some coping tips to just help calm me. Walking is not helping, I cannot concentrate on anything & I can't sit still enough to watch TV or read as I'm up pacing around the house. Please, are there any techniques or anything that will relieve this as I feel like I'm in a living hell.
Sounds like your husband has a bit of a screw loose.
I personally have never been able to fathom what a lot of men get out of womanising (and vice versa).
The woman whom he has been having affairs with sounds like a bit of a charmer herself, especially addressing you with such profanity!
Lenco, I don't think this is likely to help Chica in the way she's asking.
Chica, I'm sorry you're having such an awful time. I can tell you about how it will get easier, but I appreciate that doesn't help for now. Breathing exercises can help if you stick with them, but they can take a long while.
My personal go-to when I'm having consistent panic attacks is burning incense - scents or physical sensations are a harder distraction to ignore than visual or audio stimuli.
Remember, there's a bunch of us here who have your back, so feel free to post and ask for support.
Lenco, I don't think this is likely to help Chica in the way she's asking.
Chica, I'm sorry you're having such an awful time. I can tell you about how it will get easier, but I appreciate that doesn't help for now. Breathing exercises can help if you stick with them, but they can take a long while.
My personal go-to when I'm having consistent panic attacks is burning incense - scents or physical sensations are a harder distraction to ignore than visual or audio stimuli.
Remember, there's a bunch of us here who have your back, so feel free to post and ask for support.
It did cross my mind that I may not have quite worded it appropriately, but no offence intended to anyone.
Chica what techniques have helped you with anxiety in the past? Try revisiting them and as BI says breathing slowly and deeply does help.
Personally I would take some diazepam although your GP has been restrictive with the prescription. It may help you slow down enough to be able to concentrate on some self-help.
You don't need him to support you if he's betrayed your trust and been violent. Use this time to think about what you really want and what you are/aren't prepared to forgive and forget?
glassgirlw
03-03-22, 23:47
Chica I think you’ve been hit with a bit of a double whammy here. First being the cheating husband, and second being that he’s your main support person for your anxiety. Those are both huge losses to have it you at once - it’s perfectly understandable that you’re feeling the way you are right now. I wish I had a magic cure for you - I love BI’s suggestion of incense or candles - certain scents really can help reduce anxiety levels. Hot baths with lavender salts can help relax you for sleeping. Chamomile is great, I can’t answer your questions about using that alongside your meds - but your chemist should be able to. Exercise is also a good way to get out all that adrenaline - so pacing isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it is a bad thing if all you’re doing while pacing is thinking about your current situation. Do you like music at all? Belt out some songs at the top of your lungs while you pace.
Im thinking of you and hope you find some peace soon for your anxiety. Always feel free to come here and chat too. Some great people on here.
My ex had several affairs and I was very much like yourself in terms of my anxiety, I also used Facebook to look at her profile and his profile and the only thing it helped was the anxiety, by making it worse! Firstly stop checking it if you haven't already. In fact if you can come off FB for a bit thats better as in your state anything can trigger a panic attack or bad feelings.
Concentrate on daily tasks, the basics of your day to day life, regardless of how boring washing clothes is etc. keep grinding away at it. I found making a list of things to do helped as it helped my mind to stop wondering as much.
Keep in contact with friends and family and talk it over. Hell, I even talked to myself and that was like an outlet for the jumbled emotions! Maybe I'm just a bit mad though 😂👍
Not sure how old your daughter is but keep her supported as well, if she's a young'un try keeping the emotions dialled down around her and maybe spend more time doing stuff with her. I also found putting extra energy into playing with my son helped not only keep my mind of stuff but it created a better relationship.
I understand your husband was your support, but don't get in the mindset of him being the only support you have as you've got your GP, you'll have your therapy, you've got this forum and hopefully friends and family.
As crap as the situation is for you, I can 100% say you'll look back and realise it makes you way more stronger and confident. Just don't fall into the "I need him as he's the only one that can help" trap as little niggling thoughts will always be at the back of your mind hindering your recovery.
P.s. if you're unsure in taking X with Y just call your GP.
Thank you all for your lovely replies. I'm in a lot of pain right now, it feels like this feeling will never go away. I feel like I'm being buried alive & I'm desperate to make it stop. Luckily my daughter has quite a collection of incense so I borrowed some of her frankincense as I read that's calming. I haven't looked at this woman's profile since that last status she put up, I realised I cannot keep doing that to myself. I'm really concerned about my appetite, I still haven't managed to eat anything. I got a yogurt out of the fridge but can't face eating it. I didn't take my diazepam last night as I was so scared to, I've never taken it before so I had all sorts of thoughts like I would have a bad reaction to it or it will make me feel drugged. I really do want to take it though if it will relieve this feeling. As my depression & anxiety has been really bad over the last few months I've lost enjoyment in everything, which I really need to get back right now.
Can you still drink ok? I was thinking of some Complan or something like that. My mother takes it for extra calories.
Can you still drink ok? I was thinking of some Complan or something like that. My mother takes it for extra calories.
Yes my sister in law gave me some, I've had a glass today so I'm pleased I'm getting some vitamins.
When I get bad with anxiety I really have to force myself to eat something. I always just get a few things that I really like in and have a little when I feel I can manage it. But as said before keep your fluid levels up and complan is good stuff.
2 mg diazepam is a really tiny dose but I appreciate your fear about taking it. It will just make you feel a bit more "human" and able to gather your thoughts together.
It's horrible to find out about betrayal for someone you trusted but you need to get some control back along with your self esteem. You'll feel even more wretched if your blood sugar is low so the complan is an excellent option. Lack of sleep also won't be doing you any favours so do consider even just 1x2mg diazepam just to relax you? You have been prescribed these for a reason.
When I get bad with anxiety I really have to force myself to eat something. I always just get a few things that I really like in and have a little when I feel I can manage it. But as said before keep your fluid levels up and complan is good stuff.
My daughter popped to Tesco earlier & asked if I needed anything so I asked her to get me some cup a soup. I've just made a chicken noodle one so hopefully I'll be able to manage it.
Regarding the diazepan, I had the 2mg one once and tbh it didn't do a huge amount, it certainly made me a little more relaxed but nothing to write home about.
The CBD I used to vape is a different story. That was an almost instant warm, tingly, fluffy feeling that made me feel really clear headed and really, really calm and got rid of the headaches too. Also great if you want a nice sleep 👍
So I went to take a Diazepam last night, opened the box & realised they had given me 5mg instead of 2mg! Had to call the pharmacy first thing this morning to get them changed. She was very apologetic but this has not helped my mental state. I'm going to take one now as I'm not coping too well.
So I went to take a Diazepam last night, opened the box & realised they had given me 5mg instead of 2mg! Had to call the pharmacy first thing this morning to get them changed. She was very apologetic but this has not helped my mental state. I'm going to take one now as I'm not coping too well.
Why not just split them in half with a pill cutter? I've been prescribed two heart medications and a gout med that my doctor cut in half last year. We kept the prescriptions the same and I now get twice as much for the same cost ;)
FMP
Why not just split them in half with a pill cutter? I've been prescribed two heart medications and a gout med that my doctor cut in half last year. We kept the prescriptions the same and I now get twice as much for the same cost ;)
FMP
I never even thought of doing that ��*♀️ I wish I had though as the 2mg one I took didn't seem to have any effect at all. I was really praying it would give me some relief ��
I would have thought that 5mg would be far more helpful and effective anyway but maybe your GP was reluctant to prescribe them?
I would have thought that 5mg would be far more helpful and effective anyway but maybe your GP was reluctant to prescribe them?
I think so probably because they're addictive or maybe she wanted to see how I'd get on with the just 2mg. I had so much hope that these would help me just to give me a break from anxiety.
More stress added tonight when my son was out & I couldn't get hold of him as he had turned his phone off to save battery. I spoke to him 15 mins before & he said he was waiting for the bus. I immediately had a massive anxiety attack as I couldn't get hold of him, he had no money & his bus ticket is a digital one on his phone. I phoned my brother in a state to ask if he could drive but he had been smoking weed so couldn't & didn't seem bothered at all. So I called my mum & she just said, 'oh for God sake he'll be fine'. Their attitudes have really made me feel incredibly scared, lonely & that I'm unable to turn to anyone for help. It's awful when no one understands just how frightening anxiety can be, & how I'm made to feel I'm overreacting to everything. Maybe I did, but I didn't choose to be like this. I'm trying to get better.
I think it’s normal to worry about your child’s safety, but I suppose you could stop & try and think rationally about his options.
Hope you have a more peaceful weekend
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