GingerFish
10-03-22, 18:28
My anxiety has been sky high lately after losing my dad suddenly five months ago but surprisingly, my HA had been ok-ish. For a while it was more like "stuff it, if I've got something, I've got something" but then I developed a neck hump/buffalo hump and went to the doc who thinks it could just be my posture (which is bloody awful, I slouch and tense constantly) but she has to rule out Cushing's Disease because I use steroid creams for my psoriasis. Only other symptoms of Cushing's I have are irregular periods but I am on cerazette and have always had irregular bleeding on that from day one and weight gain and stretch marks but the stretch marks are tiny and are fading and they only came up a month ago and I've gained a stone within the last 2 years and lost half so far. I'm due to get full blood work tomorrow including cortisol, diabetes and thyroid testing. I'm always nervous before any blood test but I'm especially nervous for this one. I'm ok getting blood work done, it's the results and waiting for them that worry me.
I'm going through old HA anxiety thoughts I haven't had in years or at least not this bad. All I can think is I have Cushing's and it'll be the cancerous kind or I have some other serious thing they will find in my blood. I then go into the illogical mode of thinking I should just cancel the blood test and live in ignorance even though logically I know it'll most likely all be ok and if not, it's best to know so I can deal with it and have the best shot at living which I wouldn't have if I lived in ignorance and there was actually something wrong. It's a lot of flip flopping in my head that I've not felt for a long time and it's draining.
I'll definitely go for the tests tomorrow. I've told my husband to drag me there if he has to. I'm just so nervous, worried and tired. Just looking for a friendly shoulder tbh. None of my family understand anxiety disorders and especially HA.
Hope you've all been keeping well :hugs:
I'm going through old HA anxiety thoughts I haven't had in years or at least not this bad. All I can think is I have Cushing's and it'll be the cancerous kind or I have some other serious thing they will find in my blood. I then go into the illogical mode of thinking I should just cancel the blood test and live in ignorance even though logically I know it'll most likely all be ok and if not, it's best to know so I can deal with it and have the best shot at living which I wouldn't have if I lived in ignorance and there was actually something wrong. It's a lot of flip flopping in my head that I've not felt for a long time and it's draining.
I'll definitely go for the tests tomorrow. I've told my husband to drag me there if he has to. I'm just so nervous, worried and tired. Just looking for a friendly shoulder tbh. None of my family understand anxiety disorders and especially HA.
Hope you've all been keeping well :hugs: