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Hi just received my appointment for a routine mammogram and it has sent me into a total spiral of worry and anxiety the appointment is not for four weeks and then the two week wait I really don’t know how I’m gonna carry on my normal life for six weeks feeling like this I’m really angry with myself for being like this it’s pathetic but feel powerless to stop the worrying ant advice help would be appreciated
nomorepanic
29-03-22, 13:24
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your issue.
This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.
Please also read this post:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=213239
You need to try and remind yourself that it isn't the mammogram that is actually the risk to you - its NOT having a mammogram that is the risk. Breast cancer is the threat, not the mammogram, breast cancer not diagnosed early and therefore not treated as easily/effectively is the risk. Mammograms are life savers every single day of the year for so many thousands of women.
Hi just received my appointment for a routine mammogram and it has sent me into a total spiral of worry and anxiety the appointment is not for four weeks and then the two week wait I really don’t know how I’m gonna carry on my normal life for six weeks feeling like this I’m really angry with myself for being like this it’s pathetic but feel powerless to stop the worrying ant advice help would be appreciated
How would you feel cancelling the mammogram and then carrying on with your normal life? Would the "what if's" kick in? Would you regret not challenging yourself and putting up with a limited period of anxiety for a routine health screening which has the potential to be life saving?
What Carys has written is very true and she is an expert in this field.
she is an expert in this field.
Woooooh P, I aint that good, toooo kind LOL just a regular mammogram user LOL
The 'head in the sand' approach is tempting, some people take this route, but I wonder how they feel if they end up having a late diagnosis and know that it could have been so much different if they'd have gone to screening. Of course it isn't fun, its hard for many people having the procedure done and then waiting for the results, very hard if you are scared of hearing 'bad news' - so I'm advocating you turn around what 'bad news' would be. Bad news would be finding out in 5 years that you didn't have screening and I can tell you this, I know people who have been diagnosed who have thanked their lucky stars that they went for that mammogram when they did. I've done the 'run away' about thing in my life many times in the past, a past expert to be honest - its sometimes feels easier to make all the anxiety stop by just not engaging with something. Its the same type of response that results in agorophobia and any number of avoidance behaviours, challenge yourself to not avoid this though :)
Thanks everyone there’s no way I would not go for the mammogram I know that would be silly and I know the worry and anxiety would still be there I’m just not coping with the constant worrying and worrying about worrying!!! My mind just goes down the worst scenario route it’s kinda dominating my life right now and the appointment is not for another three weeks I know I’m being pathetic but I just can’t seem to stop I’m currently have some c b t but finding it very difficult to put the techniques into practise
Been making myself so I’ll so rang the unit today as couldn’t wait another two weeks like this then another two waiting for results I’ve had it done today so at least only two weeks to worry instead of four hate being like this feel like I’m wasting my life ����
At least you've had it done - and it sounds like they had a free space to fill today anyway :)
Yeah they were really nice on the phone when I explained how bad I’ve been feeling just wish it wasn’t such a wait for the results
I'm afraid thats the way it is, and will always be that way (unless of course their workload isn't high and then you can sometimes have a result in a few days) so best find ways to distract and rationalise things if possible. Even those who have had cancer and are having yearly mammograms to see if they've had a recurrence have that same agonising wait. Nothing will change anything now - and remember the mammogram isn't the threat.....
Really struggling to deal with the anxiety not sleeping or eating not engaging in normal stuff just can’t stop the awful thoughts intruding it’s relentless 😩😩😩
Tell me your worst case scenario in that results letter, and what you think that means ?
Tell me why you went for this screening mammogram ?
Put it down on here and I will tell you why your current response is out of proportion.
I think the letter will be a recall to the clinic for further tests which will send me totally out of control I think I will be diagnosed with cancer and that it will already have spread I see myself undergoing horrible treatment only to die anyway I was sent for for my routine screening and as soon as I read the letter the anxiety was there and it has just gotten worse and worse the original appointment was the 28th but my daughter encouraged me to bring it forward so at least it cut down the waiting time I don’t wish I hadn’t gone just wish the letter hadn’t come full stop because as soon as it did boom anxiety overdrive feel I will give myself a heart attack before the results even come I also feel really weak and pathetic for being like this
You are really letting your mind run away and catastrophising - and having had a cancer diagnosis myself I can tell you that your worst imaginings are not at all what happens in the VAST proportion of cases seen by consultants. There is lots you have raised here and I'll try and deal with most of it...... but do come back to me if I've missed something out. I could write about this for pages, but I'll try to be brief. I think your lack of knowledge about BC is causing some of the issue here and its filled in the gaps with the most hideous scenarios.
Ok, so you don't wish you hadn't gone - that is because you know deep inside that that mammogram saves lives. It saves lives because it finds cancers early. Even if it finds cancers late, it saves lives.
If you are having a mammogram in the standard screening programme, over 50 then it is a very high probability that even IF you were diagnosed with cancer that it would be of a certain type that is the most treatable and would have a prognosis that is so high that you could presume that you'd be treated and never have any further problems (I'm not going to go into that cancer type, as its detailed stuff and wouldn't mean much to you).
I will be diagnosed with cancer and that it will already have spread
If you already had a cancer that had spread, in the sense that you had metastatic cancer, you more than likely would already know about it. I don't know if you do manual breast checks, but even if you don't you would have 'by accident' come across symptoms and signs, you'd have found the primary source in your breast yourself and probably in your associated lymph nodes - you'd have been at the Dr already. So, if any cancer is found now it would be earlier stages. In the exceedingly unlikely event that you had metastatic/spread cancer which you were totally unaware of and had ignored all other signs and symptoms, then you wouldn't believe how many targeted treatments there are that some people even have before surgery. Metastases are reduced/some even go. This isn't the old days - these are modern medicines used by skilled people, after a massive amount of funding has allowed research to progress. The treatments are changing all the time, they have since even I was diagnosed, there are trials happening all the time and data being collated etc.
Breast Cancer is the most treatable of cancers, there are modern, effective, individually tailored plans - it is NOT like it was even a decade ago, and around you are thousands and thousands of women who have been treated and are getting on with their lives. You don't even see them because they don't have a tattoo on their heads - but - with roughly 55,000 women and men diagnosed each year, why aren't women just dropping like flies and disappearing on your street, in your workplace or amongst your friends ? 98 percent of them (I don't know if that figure is accurate incidentally, but its very high) are treated and move on.
Here s another thought for you - there are women, thousands of them, whose cancer IS a very late stage, and they are 'living with' it and its being held in check. Those women, even with metastatic cancer in a few locations are being treated - I know of some personally who have been treated for many many years as Stage 4 cancer patients and are living their lives. Yes, they have to take some medications, but they are resilient women. Even for women and men who have had cancer in their nodes there are things they can do, which I'm not detailing here.
which will send me totally out of control
You'd be amazed what you can do when you have to - I'm gonna run with your catastrophising here - and you have a primary BC diagnosis, you'd get on with it. If your surgeon and team told you that they could get rid of it, then you would do what was needed. I don't know what horror stories of treatments you have in your head, but even with the harshest chemo (something many don't need to have) you have all your symptoms treated. They don't leave you ill and suffering ! Besides you have your own personal team, you have a BC nurse at your disposal at all times and a huge range of community support. It frightening at the start, your mind goes in spirals of fears and what ifs, psychologically you go through a tough process and then you come out the other side and you get on with it.
I don’t wish I hadn’t gone just wish the letter hadn’t come full stop
Next thing to think about......Imagine if the letter hadn't come, imagine if screening didn't happen. Imagine if it was like 50 years ago, you popped along to the Dr with late stage symptoms and they said to you that you had BC and there was nothing they could do, firstly it was too late and secondly there were no treatments. How would you feel then ? Cos I'm telling you this, you'd be so devastated that you certainly would find it hard to cope then. Anybody who has recieved a diagnosis has been thankful that it was FOUND and then treated. Finding it can't be treated would be imaginably awful. Sticking your head in the sand and saying 'ignorance is bliss' just doesn't work, well it works for while, until you find out you have something and its way too late.......the regret you would feel would be horrific.
I think the letter will be a recall to the clinic for further tests
Further images and tests still don't mean BC, it can be ruling things out.....it could be tissue is dense, images aren't clear, there is something the radiographer wants to check out that turns out to be benign.
So, there we go, you get told you have BC cancer (as lets be honest here 1 in 8 women in their lives will be). The skilled NHS consultants swing into action, you get treated and hopefully thats it.
So - when your letter comes, most likely it'll all be fine as it is for most women, but if its not fine then its not dying, that is imagining things a step too far far too soon.
Thankyou for all this info I will keep re reading it to try and keep things in perspective I think I am so anxious as recently s couple of friends of friends have passed away from bc and were both a little older than me also a close friend of the family who had bc a few years ago has found out it has returned and they can only offer her a couple of years at the most with treatment we are all devastated for her she is only 35 it feels like it is all around and it’s bound to be my turn next in another note I thought I had some dimpling about a year ago and had both breasts examined by the doctor who couldn’t find anything the dimpling was a stretch mark ��
I'm sorry that you've had some worrying and ghastly experiences around you, I can see that they'd cause you to think slightly differently and with a view that this isn't something that most people get over . Statistically though even though it is tragic that some people pass from BC, it is something that majority get over, you've had a series of incidents around you that have made it seems slightly different. :( (Sadly the 35 year old lady's recurrence will probably have a very different cancer type I should imagine and one you are unlikely to have, hers is one that is very hard to treat and aggressive, the poor soul - I wish her absolutely the best and crossing fingers that she has much longer than they currently think). Yes - of course there are some stories like this, but it honestly sounds like you know more people than the average who have had a serious diagnosis. Also, remember you dont know their diagnoses, they could have been at a late stage when they decided to go and get checked or anything. You have been brave, you have done the best thing possible to ensure that you carry on being here for as long as possible, you haven't stuck your head in the sand and no matter what outcome you have in that letter you've given yourself the absolutely best chance of any diagnosis being only a blip. Remember too - its still a very big IFFFFFFFFFFF that there is anything wrong at all !!!!
The extra information about a Dr manual examination a year ago, is yet another pointer that you couldn't have advanced cancer - as for it to be advanced it would have been obvious 12 months ago !
Edited to add - treatments are voluntary, nobody has to have treatments or even do anything.
I see from one of your old threads, a decade ago, that you did some cbt. Did that help - are there any skills you learnt then that you could use now ?
Carys' advice is simply the best, smogie. I think you did absolutely the right thing by having your routine mammogram. I know that the waiting for the letter is really hard but it's a necessary evil in order to protect and look after your breasts. We are lucky to have this life saving screening service.
Unfortunately not I’ve had several courses of cbt over the years and although I understand the principles and try and engage I find it hard to apply the techniques when I need them
Thankyou carys you have definitely helped me today and I will revisit this thread when I’m overwhelmed hope you don’t mind if I post again for support I am certainly a bit calmer this evening than I have been all week
Yes she has made me feel a bit calmer just wish I could fast forward a couple of weeks
Thankyou carys you have definitely helped me today and I will revisit this thread when I’m overwhelmed hope you don’t mind if I post again for support I am certainly a bit calmer this evening than I have been all week
You've made it all worthwhile hearing you say you feel a little bit calmer :) Of course come back here at any time during the horrible wait.
You know smogie, I'm of the opinion that sometimes facing your 'worst possible scenario' can help somewhat.
I'm not saying you are facing a diagnosis, fingers crossed you are absolutely not at all.
I had symptoms and I wish that people had helped me to face up to it being possible I had BC. Whilst I was desperately searching for reassurance that I'd be ok, fearing like you that I just couldn't face it and building it up to something so overwhelming that I was psychologically cracking with the fear of everything every moment of the day, everyone was saying 'oh it won't be anything', 'it'll all be clear' and so on. A crash is so much harder if you never consider the possibility that you might need treatment, be that for any illness not just BC. Of course I wanted to know I was ok so hooked onto those reassuring words from those people who said 'itll be nothing'. One person did say to me the right thing at the time - 'If it IS then it will be treated, we will deal with it'. It gave me back a feeling of slight return of control, and most importantly, it made me consider the possibility that the brick wall of diagnosis might be something that could be navigated.
I say this to you because it is something I have tried to employ since that time - facing the possibility that something in life will happen and does happen at some time for everyone, especially as they get older. Acceptance. Even if you get through your whole long life with nothing more than a cold, eventually you pass away. Living life for the day, for the joy you have with people around you, for the beauty of nature, for everything that makes you you, your hobbies, nice meals, the small things like the rain on the roof - it is the best thing you can do for yourself. Your situation will more than likely be fine, but you, me and everyone at some point will have to face something. We are fortunate that medicine is so advanced, that we have the nhs, that we have people who make it their life to make sure we stay as healthy as possible for as long as possible. We need to place some trust in them, and also face up to the face that even in our 'worst scenarios' its often not anywhere near as hopeless as it may look initially.
My younger years were consumed with HA, at the very worst level imaginable. By losing some of the fear of the 'worst scenario' it made my waiting a little more bearable and manageable. I think it might work a little for you as well ?
I seem to veer from one outlook to the other last night felt calmer n more rational but this morning I’m an absolute mess shaking feel sick n crying I have never been good at facing the fear hence I’ve avoided things rather than deal with the anxiety I’ve never been in a plane or abroad didn’t take my kids on holidays and had two periods of aggraphobia I’ve spent most of my bloody life worrying and for what
You will go up and down smogie, thats to be expected, nothing is an instant fix - its about repetition and practice over quite some time. When you veer towards the 'mess' thats the time to read and repeat the things that helped before, over and over.
Thankyou it’s absolutely exhausting
Yes - running in fear is exhausting. The more you come to the point of acceptance on the things that scare you the easier it becomes. You know how it is with agorophabia too - the more you avoid situations, the more you make you life and world smaller by being scared, the smaller and more scarier the 'outside' feels.
Mornings seem to be the worst as soon as I wake up my stomach starts churning then seems to ease off as the day goes on I have to go back to work on Monday and really don’t know how I’m going to function I wish I could just give myself a slap and get a grip instead I’m just sat here overthinking and crying
I’m really not coping with this anxiety my husband thinks I’m not doing enough to get past it and maybe he’s right I just feel consumed by worry I don’t know how to get out of it
I know its tough, really tough, but you could be trying to - repeat all you know and have been told about even IF it were a diagnosis (re read this thread), you need to work very hard on not reenforcing that this is something to fear even IF they found something in the life-saving early detection screening, you should get on with major distraction and enjoying the each day - no amount of fear and worrying with change anything in that letter. You need to start thinking about beyond the letter arriving - because I tell you this - even if they found something life continues afterwards. Remind yourself that this procedure SAVES LIVES. Fear of the mammogram and what you 'might find out' puts many off having it, its a fairly common emotional response - you could spend some time, rather than living in fear of the letter, looking up some advice about 'fear of mammograms'. There are articles out there, many, that tell you about tips to overcome your fear.....here is one but its literally the first that came up for me....
https://www.healthimages.com/tips-overcoming-mammogram-fears/
There are plenty more, and UK based ones. So, instead of thrasing about in fear, try taking control by finding advice on dealing with the screening :) I think he's right in one way, no matter how fearful you are, there is always something positive and better for your mental health than living with the gut-churning fear - there is always something you can do, even small, that is a better way to try and counteract the fear.
Thankyou I am trying but feels like I’ve got myself in n a deep hole and can’t get out I have been with family this afternoon and it was very hard to stay engaged but at least I wasn’t sat at home crying thankyou for the link I’ve had a quick look will read it properly now and try and use the information I have a long shift at work tomorrow hopefully will be able to focus on work thankyou for reading and responding it does help x
I’m going to ring the clinic this morning see if they can tell me anything I’m also going to ring my gp as I think I need to see someone about my mental health cbt is just not working for me
I think being at work will help because you won't have so much free time on your hands to ruminate over something which isn't a fact.
You may get some information from the clinic but they may be unhelpful and say that if you haven't heard after 4 weeks then to ring again which I know is not what you want to hear. Speak to your GP though because he or she may think a short course of low dose diazepam could be called for if you feel unable to function and the anxiety is unbearable.
Rang the clinic the scans haven’t even been looked at explained how I was feeling and she is gonna look out for them and ring me when my letter is done and I can go and collect it but this could be two or three weeks I can’t be like this for that long
smogie - you have to learn to 'play the game' the same as everybody else here with the clinic, this isn't a one-off that you will need screening, it will be every 3 years and you honestly need to find strategies. What if you ring and find out that the radiologist hasn't even got round to reviewing scans from your day yet - as it hasn't been that long at all ? You will still be in the panicking place anyway. Ringing the GP and requesting their help is a good idea though.
Rang the clinic the scans haven’t even been looked at explained how I was feeling and she is gonna look out for them and ring me when my letter is done and I can go and collect it but this could be two or three weeks I can’t be like this for that long
Yes, just as I expected, and wrote above (as you were typing your reply). Unfortunately, they simply can't change the timescales for anxious people - that doesn't trump anybody else, they have a very fixed method that is fair to all. If women who have had cancer have to wait 3-4 weeks for their results and might even have a recurrence, then I'm afraid that all the screening women will be in the same boat. Its hard, very very hard, but you honestly need to learn to find strategies and do contact your GP today. DId you look up and try advice from any 'Mammogram anxiety' articles ?
You’re absolutely right Carys I cannot expect special treatment I have put an e consult in with the gp they will get back to me I’ve had a cbt session this morning and she has given me some exercises to do and is going to email me some stuff to read and watch I have read and re read all the advice on here and on the links people have kindly suggested just need to hammer them home the therapist is recommending I be stepped up to level three? I don’t know what this will involve but today was session five of six so am definitely going to need something regardless of my results
That all sounds very proactive, well done for taking that action :) - and it sounds like your therapist is on the ball too.
I cannot expect special treatment I have put an e consult in with the gp they will get back to me
.......not only that, its not good for you (and your future resilience in the face of any medical test) to expect it. From my understanding of your past, there seems to be a long-term background of curtailing anxiety by 'escaping' 'running' and 'avoiding'. I recognise it as I've done the same with some things. Requesting earlier results (which aren't there anyway), in the face of your terrible anxiety shows that you haven't got other strategies for dealing with your fears. Results take time, even if you had things done privately there is a timescale on things albeit quicker generally than the NHS. They won't give results over the phone until the letter has actually been sent in the post - I've had that happen to me once, when it was over a 4 week wait.
This waiting scenario could happen for another screening test, or a blood test, or anything in the future, and stopping the anxiety by hoping to get earlier results unfortunately is a very short-term measure as it leaves you open to terrible fear the next time something is needed.
Thankyou think I’m also gonna come off social media and stop scrolling for a while there is an awful lot of support but at the moment I think I’m spending too much of my time looking for something I’ll never find
I think thats a good plan - you have plenty to be working on now, without looking any further :) You are looking for something or someone to tell you 'you have clear mammogram' and that won't be found online.
You're probably on the basic level 2 package of 6 CBT sessions so a step up to level 3 seems a very good idea because level 2 is only for mild to moderate issues and you need more in depth help which isn't a "quick fix" option.
Well done for taking action today. Do read through all the info when you are feeling calm enough to absorb and benefit from it?
Got my results and everything was fine the feeling of relief is unbelievable but feeling absolutely drained also feeling very stupid and weak for losing control I’ve put myself and my family through hell I really hope my next course of cbt is going to be beneficial thanks for all the support and wise words even though I couldn’t believe them x
Anyone got any insights on why I still feel a bit rubbish still feeling sick and jittery when I wake up n still having intrusive thoughts not about bc thought I would feel on top of the world
....because in all honesty you'd drive yourself into a deep negative fearful mental state. I'm pleased to hear that your mammo was all clear - very good news indeed. However, your issues aren't just the mammogram are they, there are multiple and those aren't going to just disappear.
No I know this I’m on the list for the step three cbt but could be up to three months wait any tips on how I can improve my mindset in the meantime xx
I think its worth looking at the 'stickies' at the top of the forums relevant to you. For example, at the header of the HA page there are about 15 pinned posts that have so much useful information in them - and there are similar for other pages. On the HA there are even links to free cbt .....
I think you have to be prepared to believe what you read on here in terms of recommended self-help and not just dismiss it out of hand and go back to googling and "researching".
Very good news about your mammogram. I'm sure you won't want a repeat of all the anxiety in the future so now's a good time to start getting a handle on your HA.
Thankyou I don’t dismiss things out of hand I have tried many of the things recommended but have really struggled with putting things into practice you’re right about the belief though I think in my mind I don’t believe I can overcome it and will always be like this
I see it more as being able to get some control over your HA and not feeling as if you're powerless and it's all pointless? You didn't believe that you would have a clear mammogram but you did. Beliefs can be flawed and based on fear as opposed to fact. Maybe start by having an open mind to the reading matter on here that Carys has flagged up and see what you feel you could put into practice? Even if it's just one thing?
That's great! Anything you can manage will be a success! Keep posting on here if you need help and support to keep going? Doing something to challenge your HA will make you feel as if you are taking some control back but take things slowly and don't try and absorb too much information to begin with?
Hi all just checking in I thought things would get a lot better after my clear mammogram but I just can’t seem to get back to where I was before I’m seeing a counsellor but doesn’t seem to be helping every day is a battle I’ve just had a weekend away at a family wedding and it was marred by the constant worry and anxiety verging on a panic attack on a couple of occasions only time I relaxed was when I had alcohol any advice and words of wisdom welcome
Thankyou for all this info I will keep re reading it to try and keep things in perspective I think I am so anxious as recently s couple of friends of friends have passed away from bc and were both a little older than me also a close friend of the family who had bc a few years ago has found out it has returned and they can only offer her a couple of years at the most with treatment we are all devastated for her she is only 35 it feels like it is all around and it’s bound to be my turn next in another note I thought I had some dimpling about a year ago and had both breasts examined by the doctor who couldn’t find anything the dimpling was a stretch mark ��
I am so like you it's unbearable isn't it. I'm only like this around Breast Cancer I'm not sure why but I have my first Mammogram letter and found your thread. I think I'm going to hire Carys as my own personal counsellor shes amazing!
Hi sorry just come across this hope all went well yes she is very knowledgeable and reassuring x
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