Brain tumour fear

[ethan2003]

Hi there, I'm Ethan. I've been suffering with headaches and pain in the back of my eyes constantly for the past 5-6 days. Exposure to bright/white lights hurt a lot, and I'm often getting a blurry/cloudy vision.

I'll start by explaining that this all occurred after a series of moments (over the past few weeks) where I've experienced chest pains, testicular pains, pains in my arms and legs, and tingly sensations in my fingers. I was taken to A&E a couple weeks back for chest pains, had bloods done and all came back clear. A week later I was having pains in my testicle, went to the doctor and he said that he doesn't notice anything unusual. All these symptoms correlated with each other.

After I came back from the doctors, I found a lump on the back of my head and instantly thought brain tumour (since it hurt to the touch). Even though BT's aren't usually on the exterior on the skull, I still searched for the symptoms and immediately began to feel them. From that moment I have had the headaches, pain the back of my eyes, tingly sensations, numbness in my leg, sometimes blurry vision, etc. When I think about the BT or symptoms they immediately become more strong, and that's usually when I start testing my vision and feel like everything's blurry. The more I think about the symptom, the more I get it? This leads onto health anxiety. I know a lot of people on this forum have experienced the same thing, most people say it's HA, but if you're really concerned go see a doctor or get an eye test.

I try my best to convince myself it's health anxiety, but no matter the amount of reassurance from people the pains remain and the constant thought of it being a BT does too. We're in the middle of the Easter holidays, so I've essentially had nothing to do besides think about these problems. I do & don't want to go see a doctor/optician about this, mainly because I don't want to know if I actually have it or not. I want the reassurance it's not, but afraid that something bad may actually come from it. I haven't had seizures yet, the blurry vision is not constant (only comes on when I think about it), but the headaches and pains are consistent from the moment I wake up, till the moment I go to sleep.

I have been very forgetful at the minute, don't really want to eat, slur my words, but all of these things can be caused by anxiety too... which is one of the biggest factors. Most of the symptoms can be replicated and caused by either diagnosis.

Any word of reference based on my specific situation/symptoms would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

[Worried_91]

Hi Ethan

I'm going through this exact thing right now (you'll see my post a few further down). Like you I've been having problems with vision. Like I find it hard to focus on things and my vision seems constantly slightly blurry. As well, it's worse the more I think about it.

I've also been having slight dizziness and an off-balance kind of feeling too, have had this at all? Sorry you are going through this too.

[.Poppy.]

When I think about the BT or symptoms they immediately become more strong, and that's usually when I start testing my vision and feel like everything's blurry. The more I think about the symptom, the more I get it? This leads onto health anxiety.

This isn't leading to health anxiety, this is classic health anxiety. If you had a brain tumor, it wouldn't matter what you were thinking about - the symptoms would be consistently present. The mind is capable of really amazing (and sometimes really upsetting) things, which you are experiencing right now.

Even when you think you are distracting yourself, subconsciously you are still thinking about and trying to "catch" yourself having symptoms. So you may think, "oh, I'll watch some TV" but then you will notice a "symptom" and latch onto it because surely you were distracted and it still happened. The reality of it is that it, unfortunately, takes a lot of pushing back against the HA for it to truly go away.

I'm sorry you are going through this, as I have been there myself and it's a rotten place to be. But you have seen a doctor and he has assured you that you are fine. Have you spoken to him about your anxiety? He may have some resources that could help.

[ethan2003]

Thank you for the response.

To answer your question, I most definitely have had that. Unfortunately, the symptoms of a brain tumour and anxiety are almost identical - which is why those with HA suffer the most, because we come up with symptoms that point to something that's incredibly hard to examine.

There are thousands of people out there suffering with health anxiety, some of which don't have the opportunity to seek help. If you can, go to an optician and get an eye test. That might provide some temporary relief, time to figure out how to handle health anxiety.

Good luck, and feel free to message me at any point!

[ethan2003]

Hi Poppy, thank you for the response.

I haven't spoken to my GP (doctor) about anxiety, just the symptoms of the many medical cases I had thought to have.

After your response I went to go see an Optometrist, he could not see anything to do with a brain tumour. Yet, despite the reassurance from him, I still have constant headaches (getting better now, just still there), constant thoughts, and many sleepless nights. I haven't had health anxiety for that long, but you don't understand those who suffer with it until you see for yourself. It is a rotten place to be in, especially when you're left by yourself with no one to talk to - the worst times being at night.

I know this will take a while to overcome, but this forum is definitely a great place to start for anyone out there suffering with this.

Thanks.