Unreal feelings back after years. Terrified this is forever.

[Cutecat25]

Hi everyone.
To cut a long story short, I have been through a traumatic time recently. I had to make the most difficult decision of my life as a result of my anxiety (sensitive topic so won't mention it here), and weeks after this decision was made I had a panic attack that let to feelings of derealisation/depersonalisation. This was 3 weeks ago, and despite meditating, exercising, taking herbs/supplements, increasing healthy fats into my diet such as walnuts, flaxseed and avacado, going about my day in as normal way as possible, the feelings are still there. I keep having thoughts that the world isn't real, that everything I knew/had a connection with is a figment of my imagination. I feel at any moment I will go insane.
I used to deal with this constantly many years ago. For the past 6 years its been a symptoms that has come and gone, but not impacted my life very much, so to have it back 24/7 makes me feel hopeless, as if i'm back to the beginning of my anxiety journey again, and that maybe this time it's permanent.
Has anyone else felt with way for weeks/months at a time? And did it eventually pass?
Thanks in advance!

[Catkins]

I've periods of feeling that I'm things aren't real or I think more so that I'm kind of disconnected from the real world. This is usually after periods of high stress/anxiety.

The best thing I find is to just go with it and with time as my anxiety levels reduce and I start to recover it starts to fade. You are doing lots of positive, proactive things, carry on with those. Are you having any counselling?

I might be assuming a lot, but the decision you had to make, is it related to a previous post? If it is what I think it might be, it might take a while to get over, sometimes even a decision made for the best, takes time to get over - take your time and be patient, things will improve.

[Cutecat25]

Hi Catkins,
Thanks for the response. Glad im not alone in these feelings. Yeah it is related. I have been getting councelling, even before the dp started, but it wasnt very helpful. When I did tell her about the dp, she kept changing the subject, so I assume she had no understanding of the symptom.

[.Poppy.]

Depersonalization is really hard. I don't have any great advice, but it sounds like you are doing everything right and I'm sorry you are going through this. Something that sometimes helps me is grounding-type exercises, so going outside and just sitting with my hands in the dirt, or taking a really hot bath, or surrounding myself with scents I find comforting. Just things that activate my senses in a comforting way.

[MattS]

Hi,

Are the feelings of derealisation/depersonalisation constant, or do they come and go?

I get waves of those feeling when in my most anxious state. The best way I can think of describing it is that I can almost see myself in the third person, but that person is more like a husk of my former self and it feels like it's impossible to ever get back to that former (less anxious) state.

However, I can say with 100% honesty, that every time I have felt like this I have in fact been able to re-achieve that former state where I feel present and connected. So my advice is to try and believe me when I say that you will revert to feeling more present and connected.

[GadGirl]

Hello, sorry I don’t have much advice in regards as to what to do. But just to let you know I have suffered from derelization 24/7 for 6 years non stop and for me I just try and get on with it and hope one day it goes away. You overcame it before so I have faith that you will overcome it again :)

[panicface]

Anxiety can show up in a myriad of ways over your lifespan:

1. Felt the top of my head would come loose and I'd go insane and never be able to come back
2. Felt like I was underwater (in my head) for about a week in San Francisco once - everything felt slow and blurred
3. Constantly fear my HR will either stop, or start going so fast and not slow
4. Felt like I was drunk (twice) for about 3 months each time - so bad I couldn't read books, or focus (Migraine issues it turned out) or maybe panic - who knows..
5. Felt like they were out to get me more than once...
6. When I google anything health related - I'm sure I have the WORST possible thing, no matter what else is there.

Point is, that anxiety is an evil little monster that will keep coming back in slightly different ways to freak you out.

Out of everything I've experienced - the ONE consistent thing is that NOTHING was consistent. No matter how bad you feel - or what weird symptom. Chances are when you finally come to terms with it, can forget it / or move on.. It will probs diminish and you'll go back to 'normal'.... Keep a stiff upper lip and power on... It will pass.