Ended up at hospital last night

[izzybizzy]

I’ve definitely had a bit of a relapse of health anxiety recently since I had covid last month. I’m also doing EMDR for trauma recently, and I found out the guy who killed my Dad got granted his parole, I’m also studying at Uni and a single parent. So I do have a lot on.

Last night I was going to bed and watching something to do with the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial, I’ve been fine watching it up until last night, right before I went to sleep I had some flashbacks to my violent relationship when I was much younger (this hadn’t happened in a very long time), I went to sleep then work up two hours later with my heart pounding in my chest, I tried to calm myself down as I suspected it was a panic attack but it would not.

I rang 111 and the advised me to go straight to a hospital to be checked out. I went got seen, had an EKG and they told me my heart rate was fine 94bpm a little elevated but that the rhythm had no issues, and did my blood pressure which she told me was text book, 129/84, I was happy with that and said I would go home, I had calmed down quite a bit, but I stupidly googled my blood pressure, and I saw that means pre-hypertensive, it’s made me even more anxious. I don’t want to start ringing the docs and allowing my health anxiety to go into overdrive but I’m really worried, I am currently trying so hard to quit smoking but I’m scared and worried that I’ll end up dying like my Grandma as she had high blood pressure and had a brain bleed 😣😩

I know it’s slightly irrational but I’m trying very hard to be healthier but my health anxiety doesn’t want to give me a break.

[nomorepanic]

Your blood pressure is fine so why would you worry about it when it is normal?

[izzybizzy]

I don’t know a lot about blood pressure? I just thought for my age 32 that was a bit on the high side?

I’m nervous because my PTSD was triggered and I’m very run down.

[nomorepanic]

But they said "and did my blood pressure which she told me was text book"

[Fishmanpa]

But they said "and did my blood pressure which she told me was text book"

Exactly! Yes, while the BP is on the high side of normal, the fact your anxiety is ramped up explains it. Done and out!

FMP

[izzybizzy]

I’ve been on reflecting on what you both said, I should be listening to the nurse and not googling, I had a full Google ban for a long time, no googling anything health related and I definitely let it slip recently. It’s back to the drawing board for me, some online CBT and cutting down on behaviours on my anxiety ladder.

The spiral is easy to get back on when you engage in the behaviours that are so unhelpful and I’ve let a lot of stress and pressure leave me feeling vulnerable so I’ve slipped into old behaviours that keep me “safe” but are actually very destructive.

Thanks for the firm words, they are needed.

[LF87]

Gosh, sorry to hear you have been through so much with your Dad and the abuse you mentioned.
Sounds like you've been doing so well despite these awful things!
If you've been triggered it's natural that you've spiralled a little but don't let it take over. You've been checked out, your HR and BP were fine, so just put it down to anxiety and keep going!
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