View Full Version : Dark Mole
Hello,
It's been a really long time since I've posted here. This time the scare is real.
I've noticed a dark (round) mole on my right leg (ankle area) for a little while now and finally decided to show it to my dr. Sent him some pictures of it and he said: I believe its a Compound Nevus but it is dark enough that I will have it biopsied...
Referred me to another dr who will assess it on June 20th and have it biopsied if needed.
Anxiety is through the roof. Not sure how I will be able to function until then. Im extremely concerned and my mind is of course thinking of the worst case scenario. Can someone help me think rational here? What are the chances that it could be the worst in can be?
Thanks!
Rey
I just looked through some old photos i took of my leg from last year (when I sliced it open) and I can see this mole was already there then. Maybe a bit smaller, but it can be clearly seen. I guess that is a good sign? That it hasn't really changed much in 1 year?
I just looked through some old photos i took of my leg from last year (when I sliced it open) and I can see this mole was already there then. Maybe a bit smaller, but it can be clearly seen. I guess that is a good sign? That it hasn't really changed much in 1 year?
Take away the question marks and make that post a statement as opposed to reassurance seeking ;)
FMP
Thanks for taking the time to respond Fishamnpa. I had been "anxiety free" pretty much for a whole year, up until last week...lots of things going on in my life which has taken a toll on my mental health.
Im still going to go for that appointment (where they might take a biopsy) but considering it has not really changed in 1 year I feel more confident it will be nothing.
Rey
Well, been reading about these moles and the likelihood of turning into melanomas. Just couldn't stop myself from googling. Got to admit, I am spiraling out of control. The fact that my dr immediately wanted to get it biopsied just put my mind in overdrive. Just needed to vent as I don't want to drive my family crazy.
Im probably having the worst health-related anxiety attack I can remember. I was browsing through some older photos (2020 or so) and it does not appear like I had this dark mole then. Fast forward to pictures of 2021 and there it is.
Now I am thinking that I should have had it checked back then, now a year has passed and I am fearful that it might be too late.
I have a 1 year old son that is my world. Just the thought of leaving him sinks my soul to unimaginable places.
I don’t think I can wait 20 more days for this biopsy. Im a mess. Wish I could clear my head and simply rationalize whats going on, but I cant. I now think what I have is C, and this feeling overtakes my thoughts.
This is horrible.
Thanks for reading.
Rey
Nevus is nothing to worry about and is better off left alone
They expand and shrink at will.
Thanks Phill2 !
I am trying to convince myself that everything is going to be alright and will turnout to be nothing. But my anxious mind keeps telling me that it is melanoma and its too late (considering ive had this since last year).
If it was in fact something sinister, it would have changed for the worse in a year? Or these things take a long time to develop into something else more serious?
I wish this panic feeling would go away. Can’t sleep thinking of all the worst-case scenarious.
I feel like my skin is itchy and it has spread.
Sorry if this sounds like too much. This is just my place to vent and hopefully get reassurance that things will be ok.
Rey
I totally understand your fear, I have been there. It would have changed in a year, definitely, if it was cancer. I’m sure you will get good news after it’s removed.
Hey Rey,
Hope you're doing okay! Just went through a huge mole panic a month or so ago. In my case they didn't want a biopsy, but I have a friend who works in a dermatologists office whom I asked about it when I was panicked. She told me, that even if a doc wants to do a biopsy, the vast, vast majority of the time it's completely fine. She also said that in the 10 years she's worked in that office, she's never encountered a melanoma that didn't rapidly, noticeably grow in a short amount of time. The fact that yours didn't grow noticeably in at least a year is very reassuring. Even if it was (extremely unlikely) something that you're dreading it being, the fact that it grows so slowly would indicate that its the kind of thing that would just be removed and would require no further treatment.
Hope that helps. I was recently through the same thing and I know how much stress they can cause.
Thank you atm4660 and rc906 for kindly replying to my thread and offering reassurance. Trully appreciate it.
As far as I can tell it hasnÂ’t changed all that much since last June (when I took those pictures). But now I think that it has grown a bit, or maybe its gotten darker, idk at this point. Could even be my own mind playing tricks.. but in any case, it doesnt look any scarier than it did months ago, so whatever it is doesnt seem to be growing too fastÂ…
Hopefully iÂ’ll be able to shake off this pending doom feeling before my next appointment.
Again, thanks!
Rey
Well, I've tried to clear my mind and was successful at keeping my anxiety at bay for a few days until today. As I was clearing my browsing history I accidentally came across one of the articles I read about moles and melanoma. Now, I've convinced myself once again that what I have could very well be it. I know it is silly, as it hasn't really changed much in over a year, but the fact that it is black has me very concerned. Still smaller than a pencil eraser though, oval-round shape, and even colour (all black or very dark brown as far as I can tell).
Now because I've been obsessing over it I am thinking it is somewhat painful/itchy, but I think it is just because I am hype focusing on it (if I am not thinking about it, I don't feel it). June 20th can't come soon enough....
I am a 33 yo male, never used tanning beds (although I do enjoy the great outdoors here in Canada 2-3 months out of the year (when it doesn't snow or rain) so my overall exposure to sunlight is limited to a maximum of 3 months per year. Always wear sunscreen when doing outdoorsy activities, but I did get some sunburns as a child and early teen years. I don't think they were blistering sunburns, but at least 2 were more than a simple sunburn.
Anyways, I use this as a jounral for me to look back on when reoccurring fears occur (sometimes I read my old posts and think, how silly!) but everything feels so real when you are in the moment...
Thanks for reading.
Rey
Hey Rey,
I know that exact feeling, when you think you're free of the worry and it comes charging right back. From what you describe, it doesn't sound concerning at all. Just because it's dark that doesn't mean anything. Growth, irregular borders and uneven colors (mainly growth though) are what is concerning about it. I'm not a doctor obviously, but from everything I've read and heard from my friend who works in a derm office, absolutely nothing about your mole sounds concerning. Even you said your doctor looked at it and said it looks like a normal mole.
When I was having my big mole freakout, I kept thinking it was itching all the time but it was all anxiety. In the month or so since the doctor looked at it and gave me the all clear it hasn't itched a single time. Focusing on any part of your body is going to cause those sensations. Like I said before, even absolute worst case scenario, lets say that it does get diagnosed as what you fear (which is extremely unlikely) the fact that it hasn't noticeably grown (even since you started this thread) indicates that even worst case scenario, the entirety of your treatment would be to get it removed.
Let us know how it turns out! I would be willing to bet you a plate of poutine that its just a normal mole.
Hey rc906,
Thanks again! I will take you up on that offer:yesyes:
The little rational brain I have at this point in time keeps telling me that it will be alright and that it is nothing to be concerned about. But since I've never had to have a biopsy and my dr. recommended it (just because it was dark enough) my mind went into overdrive about all the worst case scenarious (typical behaviour for a HA sufferer).
I will for sure write an update once this is all over. Really hope you can get a delicious Montreal-Style poutine out of this thread!
Cheers!
Rey
I'm quite confident in my bet!
I know the exact thing you're going through and exactly how the brain works. I'm sure the word biopsy is scary but all of the evidence points in the direction that it's nothing to be worried about. Moles get biopsied all the time. Most dermatology offices do many a day. Completely normal.
Now go and try to enjoy the weekend!
Will try to to that for sure! Thank you again.
Rey
Will try to to that for sure! Thank you again.
Rey
So I was able to keep my anxiety somewhat controlled over this mole by ignoring it as much as possible, but today I decided to check it again and when I slide my finger over it I can feel a slight bump. It hasn't really grown or changed its appearance, but I've read that a bump can be a sign of malignancy... Needless to say, my anxiety skyrocketed again. It doesn't really look that alarming to be honest, but it is definitely an ugly duckling (meaning I have no other mole like this one on my body) Very dark, almost black to the naked eye, and now I can feel a slight elevation.
This thing is really driving me crazy. I have an appt coming up on June 20th but I am fearing the worst. I know several members have given me some reassurance, and as expected it worked for a short period of time. But now I've convinced myself that what I have is melanoma.
Trying my best to cope with this, but it is too strong at times to manage. The fear of this being it is so real that I can feel it deep in my soul. I don't want to chat about this with anyone around me so any word of wisdom from this wonderful community will always be appreciated.
Thanks for reading,
Rey
Im in a very very low place. I keep looking at my 1 y/o and the fear strikes me that he may grow up without his father, just like I did.
I wish this fear would go away. I cant help but to look at this darn mole and think its melanoma. Idk what to do at this point. Im trying to distract myself, go for walks, but cant seem to be able to enjoy anything over this fear.
Im very sorry to sound repetitive. Just need to vent somewhere. I dont want to drive my wife crazy, she’s got enough going on being at home all day with our son.
I’d trully appreciate any words of encouragement, or anything. Thank you.
Rey
Hey Rey,
Sorry you're still having a tough time. I've been there and I know how you feel.
Lets just go ahead and do the worst case scenario (I'll start by saying that, although I'm not a doctor, I'm pretty much 100% sure it's not the worst case scenario from what you describe). Let's say it does get diagnosed as melanoma (it wont). You've had this mole, without noticeable changes for a long time. You have photographic evidence of this. So, it does turn out to to be melanoma (it wont) but the kind of melanoma that spreads and can have bad outcomes is the kind of melanoma that grows rapidly, like, since you started this thread this thing has double or tripled in size. Your mole hasn't done that.
Lets just say it's melanoma (it's not) but it hasn't obviously changed or grown in over a year. This means it hasn't spread because it hasn't obviously grown. I know you're thinking "what if it's grown down into my skin and spread to my lymph nodes and organs?" If that had been the case, you would be in a world of hurt right now. You'd be waking up drenched in sweat, like not the kind of sweat that makes your pillow damp, like the kind of sweat where its like somebody dumped several buckets of water on your bed. That hasn't happened. If that had been the case you would be sick as a dog. You would definitely know something is wrong.
Absolute worst case, nightmare scenario for you is that you have a melanoma (its not) that hasn't spread or anything like that. Worst case scenario is you have to get a mole removed and do follow up appointments. A pain in the ass, but nothing life changing.
I totally understand the feeling of worrying about your health for your loved ones, but your son is stuck with ya for the long haul. There is nothing about anything you described which indicates there is anything more serious than just having a mole removed. You and your son are going to be absolutely fine. You have a long future ahead of you. So take it easy Rey.
rc906:
You have no idea how much I truly appreciate the time you've put into helping me out here with my fear. I haven't been able to sleep, eat, or enjoy life pretty much for a week at this point. Never been this scared about health in my whole life, that I'm pretty sure. This time it's something I can clearly see on my skin, unlike previous times where it was all in my head.
It's just nice to be able to talk to someone about this, at this point I don't want to drive my wife crazy with all my worries (she knows I am an extremely anxious person). As you can imagine, I've been hyper-focusing on this for weeks now, so I am probably starting to notice normal things that have been there for a while for the first time. For instance, I am now starting to feel a slight elevation over the mole. It has not really changed its appearance, but I also never checked with my fingers if it was elevated or not.
I know my Dr. looked at the pictures I sent him and he did say it looked like junctional/or compound nevus, so I am trying to hold on to that statement. The only thing that I guess concerned him (which is why I am getting it removed/biopsied) was the fact that it was on the darker side (very dark brown, almost black under certain lighting conditions).
My appointment is a week from today, so I will try my absolute best to keep my sh@% together until then. I just want to know that everything is fine, just a scare, so I can move on with my life. I need to work on my anxiety, this is probably going to be a life-long journey for me.
Also, funny that "RC" are the real initials of my name!
Thanks so much rc906!
Rey
I'm happy to help in any way I can.
I know this is a very serious thing for you but I cant help but laugh because everything you say could have been written by me a few months ago (right down to annoying the wife). For real, I know exactly how you feel. You are going to be completely fine. A few weeks from now, you are going to look back and wonder why the hell you spent so much time stressing about a mole. Then you can go on and help the next person who is having this fear :-)
If you want to thank me for helping you out, go and spend time with your family and focus on enjoying that time with them. I know you are worried about leaving them behind but you shouldn't worry about that. You should worry about spending every minute possible enjoying your 1 year old. He won't stay little and cute forever. Before you know it he is going to be annoyed at you for embarrassing in front of his friends and you will wish he could be 1 year old again. Enjoy this time.
I know, they grow so fast! I looked at pictures of him from February-March and he looks so small compared to now.
We did have a great weekend (Not going to lie, had to try my hardest to shut down my brain with all the negative thoughts) and overall it went really well.
I will make sure to update this threat with the outcome, whatever it ends up being.
Thank you for your words of wisdom, and to thank you I will go for a long walk with my family after work today (since it's not raining, for once haha).
Rey
Well,
I made the terrible decision to go grab My phone and take a photo of my mole with 5x the zoom. At that point, you can kinda see some irregular borders. Are “non malignant” usually like that when zoomed in?
Im panicking.
Rey
100% of moles in human history are going to have weird looking borders if looked at close enough. The kind of mole that has irregular borders doesn't need zoom magnification to identify weird borders. They are extremely obvious. Stop taking pictures and looking at it. No matter what you are going to find something weird about it. Your doc looked at it and said it looks like a normal compound mole. They know what they are looking at.
You are going to be fine Rey!
Thanks for keeping up with this thread and answering to my silly comments. I sent you a PM rc906!
6 more days until I get this removed!
Rey
Im sick to my stomach.
Just read about some cases of very highly pigmented moles such as mine coming back as melanoma.
Im seriously in such despair. This has been a nightmare. Never been this scared in my life.
Im sorry if you are rolling your eyes reading this once again. I trully am. Im just a mess right now. Driving my wife insane, and just need to vent somewhere and let it out.
I feel like this time its real. Don’t know how to explain it. I really hope im wrong.
Thanks for reading.
Rey
Im sick to my stomach.
I feel like this time its real. Don’t know how to explain it. I really hope im wrong.
Rey
Hey bud,
Sorry you are still having a really rough time. I know the feeling but you are almost for sure wrong. Everything is going to be totally fine. Just hold strong until your appointment and then you will see.
Thank you rc.
As always, appreciate it for being the only one commenting on this thread, besides me of course, to try to bring me to my senses.
The wait to see someone to finally tell me what this is is pretty much agonizing. No other way to describe it. The anxiety level just keeps building on and on with each passing hour.
I hope to look back at this thread in a few weeks and laugh because of all the things I've said, but until then, I'm in hell.
Again, truly appreciate your support rc906, you've been a blessing in this forum.
Rey
On top of everything, had to go
to the ER last night with renal colic pain. Turns out im also passing a kidney stone.
They did a CT scan of my abdomen which I am not too thrilled about (due to the high radiation) but what can you do.
Still very anxious about the mole, figured I’d add the latest development…
Rey
I feel like this time its real. Don’t know how to explain it. I really hope im wrong.
It's always real 'this time'. This is classic health anxiety.
I've spiralled more times than I can recall and I've always been wrong with my imaginings...
Hi NoraB,
Thank you for your comment.
Ever since I started paying close attention to this mole (1 month or so) i feel like it has become more oval, where as before it appeared to be more round. Changes like this aren’t a good sign I don’t think…
I know it always feels real for HA sufferers, but what I mean is that since this time I can see it on my skin, it feels more real. I am not imagining the mole, its there, stating at me every single day.
Monday can’t come soon enough to get this removed, whatever it is…
Rey
I don’t know if it’s allowed or not, but figured I’d upload a picture of what it looks like in case someone has seen something similar that turned out not being Melanoma
Looks regular mole shape to me. :shrug:
Thank you NoraB.
Shape is one thing, but the colour and size is what concerns me.
Rey
One thing I’ve noticed is that now when I slide my finger over it it is slightly raised, whereas before it felt flat. It may also be slightly tender, however this could be due to touching it more than usual.
Rey
Thank you NoraB.
Shape is one thing, but the colour and size is what concerns me.
Rey
I have some very dark moles. All my moles were looked at when I went in with something on my thigh (turned out to be a wart) and they said they were fine..
Thank you for the reassurance NoraB!
I do have my appointment this afternoon; I’ll make sure to update this thread accordingly.
Rey
Ok.
Just left the appointment and my anxiety is very high. They removed the whole thing and he said that it looked atypical. Sent it off to get biopsied and when I asked if I should be concerned he said he wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. He did say that any darker than usual mole should get checked out right away.
I won’t be at ease until the pathology report comes back. Im so scared that this might come back bad. I guess if it was trully bad bad he would have said something. But I don’t know what to make of this. Scared beyond words.
Rey
Hey Rey,
Just checking in. Glad you got your appointment out of the way. It is extremely common to get moles removed and biopsied. You shouldn't lose any sleep over it. You did the right thing by getting it checked out and removed, that way you can put your mind at rest.
Everything is going to work out! Just wait and see.
Hey rc906,
Thanks so much for checking in. I really hope that is the case. I mean, until they get the pathology report they won't know 100%, but if I put my HA aside (almost impossible task) he did not seem overly concerned about it. But in the end that's what he said: the pathology report will confirm what this is.
So all I can do now is wait for that phone call and hope for the best. Until then, I will try my best to control my anxiety, but who am I kidding? I know that it is going to be very hard to do. This is the closest I've ever been to potentially being diagnosed with something nasty.
Thank you so much again for stopping by. It means a lot to me right now.
Rey
Waiting for the call is so hard. I just want to find out once and for all what this whole thing was.
I am trying to distract myself, and usually when I am at work I can put my thoughts aside, momentarily. I asked my dr. for some medication for anxiety and he prescribed citalopram, which I am planning to start taking later today.
If someone can share how they cope with periods of high anxiety/stress such as the one I am having right now (waiting for biopsy results) I'd love to hear it.
I'm dreading the call but at the same time I want to know. I am wishing with all my heart that I get good news.
Thanks,
Rey
I'm hoping that you get good news too, bud. I'm very confident you will.
Make sure to let me know how it turns out!
Thanks rc906 !
Will do.
Rey
Man this anxiety is SO strong, the worst one I’ve ever had. I’m in a deep deep hole and just keeps getting deeper with each passing day. The anticipation of that phone call is killing me.
I’ve lost 3 kg in the last week, I hope from eating little food, my appetite comes and goes, but today my anxiety is attacking with no mercy.
I started taking escitalopram this morning, may take up to two-four weeks to take effect. Trying my hardest to cope with this.
Rey
After inspecting the biopsy site, I can kind of see like something was left behind...like darker in the middle maybe. Of course I'm not medically trained to look at biopsy sites, but just looked odd. Now I am concerned that they may have tp go back and take out some more.
Can someone please help me out with this? I'm just digging and digging this hole and can't seem to be able to put the shovel aside. I'm so dam concerned about this whole thing. This is an anxiety forum and I am having TERRIBLE anxiety over this.
Thank you
Rey
I messaged my GP asking for his thoughts about all of this and he said: "I think there is only a very small chance this will come back as something dangerous"
That statement did help to lower my anxiety levels a bit, although I would have much rather hear there is NO chance this could come back as something dangerous. But still, I will take these odds I guess. He also mentioned I could up my dose from 10 mg to 20 mg, might give that a go starting tomorrow.
If anyone's reading this, thanks!
Rey
Hey Rey,
The doctor isn't going to tell you that there is no chance it could come back as something dangerous. That's not how they conduct themselves. I think everything the medical professionals have told you so far sounds really encouraging. I totally understand how you are feeling but try not to worry. Everything is going to be fine
Thanks so much, rc906.
You keep coming back and replying to my messages, offering reassurance, and even tough that is frowned upon here, I value you time and your willingness to help me and others on this forum.
Deep down I know that when biopsies are taken they can't say for sure what it is (the pathology report will) and I did appreciate my drs. efforts to put my mind at easy by giving me the good odds.
His office did confirm, however, that pathology reports are taking on average 4-8 weeks to come in. I guess I better prepare myself to wait this long not knowing for sure, part of this game I guess..
My appetite is almost non-existent, but I am forcing my self to eat at least twice a day. On days where my anxiety is really really bad (such as today) I really have to force myself to eat something. On that note, I've gone from 93 kg to 90 kg in about 10 days or so. Kind of worrisome when dealing with the potential of having something malignant. But I will try to think that it has to do with my poor appetite, nothing more...
Again, thanks rc906 for sticking around. You've been a blessing.
Rey
utrocket09
22-06-22, 22:08
Thanks so much, rc906.
You keep coming back and replying to my messages, offering reassurance, and even tough that is frowned upon here, I value you time and your willingness to help me and others on this forum.
Deep down I know that when biopsies are taken they can't say for sure what it is (the pathology report will) and I did appreciate my drs. efforts to put my mind at easy by giving me the good odds.
His office did confirm, however, that pathology reports are taking on average 4-8 weeks to come in. I guess I better prepare myself to wait this long not knowing for sure, part of this game I guess..
My appetite is almost non-existent, but I am forcing my self to eat at least twice a day. On days where my anxiety is really really bad (such as today) I really have to force myself to eat something. On that note, I've gone from 93 kg to 90 kg in about 10 days or so. Kind of worrisome when dealing with the potential of having something malignant. But I will try to think that it has to do with my poor appetite, nothing more...
Again, thanks rc906 for sticking around. You've been a blessing.
Rey
My husband has had over 25 moles biopsied so far, none have come back as cancer. And a loss of that little weight doesn't mean anything.
Thank you, utrocket09 for your reply!
I was roughly 99 kg in December (on the overweight side for me for sure) and with dietary changes I was able to go down to 93 kg. But in the span of two weeks I’ve already lost 3 more kg. So yes, likely related to lifestyle changes and the fact that I’m not eating much these days. Like I said, often times I have to force myself to eat…
I just want to get the results so I can move on with my life. It’s the waiting that sucks. The more time I wait, the more time I have to run through some pretty depressing scenarious in my head..
Taking medication for this, and reached out to my employer’s EAP program to get some counselling.
As always, thanks for reading!
Rey
I feel like in the middle of the punch biopsy site theres something darkish left.
wpuld it be possible for some of the remaining mole to still be there?
My appetite is almost non-existent, but I am forcing my self to eat at least twice a day. On days where my anxiety is really really bad (such as today) I really have to force myself to eat something. On that note, I've gone from 93 kg to 90 kg in about 10 days or so. Kind of worrisome when dealing with the potential of having something malignant. But I will try to think that it has to do with my poor appetite, nothing more...
Think about it...
You're highly anxious. Your body is constantly in fight or flight because you're scared. How likely is it that you will have an appetite?
It's not likely at all because that's not how fight or flight works. If you were being chased by axe murderer, would you stop off for a McDonald's? Would you heck! The last thing we need is to be digesting food when we need to run or fight. This is why the body will naturally try to purge food (one way or the other) and urine. Not eating properly means weight loss.. (I lost 2 stone through anxiety)
Thanks again NoraB!
I’m sure this all sounds pretty irrational and to be frank, I hope I can come back to this post in a few weeks time (or however long it takes them to give me the results) and laugh at myself for all of this. But until then, I’m battling the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had, ir at least in the recent years.
I keep waking up at night thinking about this, I wake up thinking about this, I go to bed thinking about this. It’s pretty horrible. If I ever had a true enemy, might was well wish him this, as its hell.
I hope the results are clear, or as clear as they can be, so I can move on. I am praying for that. I don’t know why the middle of the biopsy site looks kinda dark (middle of the circle they left) it’s a small circle, and for all I know it could be anything (dried blood, etc) but can’t stop thinking that the dr didnt remove the whole thing.
Anyways, thank you for coming back, and chiming in.
Sincerely,
Rey
Thanks again NoraB!
But until then, I’m battling the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had, ir at least in the recent years.
I had a mental breakdown due to health anxiety. Believe me, I know how far down this hole goes!
I keep waking up at night thinking about this, I wake up thinking about this, I go to bed thinking about this. It’s pretty horrible. If I ever had a true enemy, might was well wish him this, as its hell.
It is hell, for sure. But the reality is that it's a hell of our own making. We choose to run with these thoughts. There is another way but that involves effort, and lots of it!
I hope the results are clear, or as clear as they can be, so I can move on. I am praying for that. I don’t know why the middle of the biopsy site looks kinda dark (middle of the circle they left) it’s a small circle, and for all I know it could be anything (dried blood, etc) but can’t stop thinking that the dr didnt remove the whole thing.
I've had basal cell papilloma's removed. Sounds scary eh? Not really, the other name for them was 'senile warts'. To be honest, I prefer the original name. I was in my 40s - senile? How dare they! :lac:But they've settled on 'seborrhoeic warts' now. Anyhoo, I've had two of these bad boys frozen off and I remember what my skin looked like with this relatively minor 'trauma', so I'm imagining that having your skin punched for a biopsy will look a bit funky for a few weeks? Just try not to fixate and let your body do its thing with healing...
Anyways, thank you for coming back, and chiming in.
I'm always happy to chime in Rey..
Hopefully you will be able to move on from this soon..
Oh man,
Just rubbed my right armpit because it was itchy and it is tender. I’ve read that melanoma
can spread to lymph nodes. I’m panicking now (why is this Happening!!)
Ive also seen an unexplained bruise on my arm..
I just want to know that everything is ok with me.
I upped my medication to the full 20 mg but I guess I have to wait for it to trully kick in.
Rey
Oh man,
Just rubbed my right armpit because it was itchy and it is tender. I’ve read that melanoma
can spread to lymph nodes. I’m panicking now (why is this Happening!!)
I have tenderness under my armpits regularly. Believe it or not, anxiety can cause this...
Rapid heart rate, shaking, muscle tension (chest) sweating etc (as we do with anxiety) can lead to underarm pain..
The bruise? Just because you can't remember injuring it doesn't mean it hasn't happened, especially when your mind is on other things!
Thank you for giving me logical explanations for all of this.
I’ve notices tenderness around armpits before, and to be fair I couldn’t feel a lump or anything…
I keep telling myself, if I had metastatic C my body would be in much worse shape, and my dr would have been more concerned after seeing my mole and doing the biopsy… but the panick is still there.
Only a clear result will give me peace at this time
Rey
I keep telling myself, if I had metastatic C my body would be in much worse shape, and my dr would have been more concerned after seeing my mole and doing the biopsy… but the panick is still there.
Rey
I understand, totally, the panic but this will all pass soon so try your best not to catastrophise because there is the truth (which is most likely that there is nothing wrong with you) and there is your imagination...
Thank you, NoraB, from the bottom of my heart.
I am trying, believe me. Maybe not hard enough, I don’t know.
I’m at work trying to distract myself, but this fear comes in waves. I’ve already had a few mild panick attacks this morning (morning where I live)
But yes, I know you are right. I know everyone around me is rignt when they say to stay calm and to stop believing catastrophic scenarious, but the mind can play horrible tricks.
I’ve promised to myself, and those around me to seek treatment for my mental health when this is over, because one thing is for sure, I can’t go on like this.
Rey
I’ve promised to myself, and those around me to seek treatment for my mental health when this is over, because one thing is for sure, I can’t go on like this.
Rey
I sincerely hope that keep that promise...
Don’t think the meds are working, woke up with severe anxiety and a mild panick attack…
To top it all off, I now have really bad back pain and my left hip hurts as well.. (I must admit, ive had these types of pain before, but the timing is not right since I have severe anxiety about melanoma).
Can severe anxiety also cause these types of joint/muscle pain?
Rey
Can severe anxiety also cause these types of joint/muscle pain?
Rey
Absolutely. But I'd also think back to your activities over the last few days too. Anxiety means tense muscles which tend to pull more easily..
As you say, you've had these types of pain before so this is a non issue I think..
I do have a 13 month old that is cruising all over the place, but also likes to be picked up quite a bit…
Also having to put him in and out of his car seat is quite awkward on my back. Hip pain? Not too sure… last week I had to walk 10 kms a day on average to get to and back from an event.. so could be that? Who knows…
thanks Nora!
Rey
utrocket09
26-06-22, 19:03
Don’t think the meds are working, woke up with severe anxiety and a mild panick attack…
To top it all off, I now have really bad back pain and my left hip hurts as well.. (I must admit, ive had these types of pain before, but the timing is not right since I have severe anxiety about melanoma).
Can severe anxiety also cause these types of joint/muscle pain?
Rey
What if you actually had melanoma? What would you do ?
I guess this is what I get for seeking reassurance online..
To answer your question, I don’t know. What the drs tell me to do I guess…
I see where you’re going with that question, not sure if it was appropriate at this time, but thanks for your input.
Rey
Rey
utrocket09
26-06-22, 19:59
I guess this is what I get for seeking reassurance online..
To answer your question, I don’t know. What the drs tell me to do I guess…
I see where you’re going with that question, not sure if it was appropriate at this time, but thanks for your input.
Rey
Rey
I am not going anywhere with my question. I am challenging you with your thinking...what would you do if you actually had a melanoma?
And no don't tell me you would do what a doc tells that isnt what I am asking.
I see where you’re going with that question, not sure if it was appropriate at this time, but thanks for your input.
Rey
As with 99% of the fears I've seen here through the years, I have an inkling all will be well :shades: This thread is over a month old and you've had the dragon breathing fire down your neck the entire time. No doubt you're mentally shot and it shows in your posts. The question is indeed appropriate. I lived that real fear for 5 years after my cancer diagnosis before I was officially deemed cancer free. The reassurance isn't doing a thing so might as well get your head together in case you're part of the 1% :shrug:
FMP
I sure have had this dragon breathing down my neck for well over a month now. I am tired. Waiting for weeks and weeks for results do not help with HA.
As I’ve said numerous times in this thread, I am taking medication for this, which I assume will take some time to fully kick in, as well as seeking counselling through my employers assistance program (don’t have the funds to pay for counselling at the moment, unfortunately).
I am doing what I can with what I have. Could I be doing more? Sure! If I had the mental strength at this moment I would, but this has shaken me up pretty good, as you’ve noted in my previous posts Fishmanpa.
If I actually had melanoma, which I really hope I don’t, I would try to spend the most time possible with my loved ones, until the end. Maybe thats more in sink with what you wanted to hear, not sure. But there it is.
Thank you for commenting in my post. I hope to be able to write to you all from the other side of anxiety soon.
Rey
As I’ve said numerous times in this thread, I am taking medication for this, which I assume will take some time to fully kick in, as well as seeking counselling through my employers assistance program (don’t have the funds to pay for counselling at the moment, unfortunately).
I am doing what I can with what I have. Could I be doing more? Sure! If I had the mental strength at this moment I would
As I said, the reassurance is doing nothing and the reinforcement of your fears by posting is just feeding your dragon. Yes, it will take time for the meds to kick in and therapy and self care are an ongoing effort but you do have control over what you post.....
FMP
Stressed32
26-06-22, 21:12
I have cancer phobia big time- in fact if I even see a cancer billboard or commercial, it gets me going that maybe it is some sign from above. Melanoma is a HUGE fear for me- likely bc it is something I can actually see! Currently, I am terrified that my 11 YO has it on her scalp despite having a .00000456% of what I am seeing on her scalp being cancer. My advise- stop looking at it! I can also say that had your MD suspected your mole to be melanoma, they would have rushed the biopsy results bc 1- melanoma is serious and 2- they will want to start treatments right away not 4 weeks later. I think I also read that they shaved the specimen- they do not typically shave suspected melanomas. They punch biopsy them to ensure clear margins. If your doctor did a shave- he isn't likely suspecting melanoma.
I will for sure keep that in mind fishmanpa. Thank you both for challenging my thoughts.
I have A LOT of work to do… I guess the one good thing of hitting rock bottom is that theres no where else to go but up. I hope I can start that honest journey towards healing very soon.
Rey
I have cancer phobia big time- in fact if I even see a cancer billboard or commercial, it gets me going that maybe it is some sign from above. Melanoma is a HUGE fear for me- likely bc it is something I can actually see! Currently, I am terrified that my 11 YO has it on her scalp despite having a .00000456% of what I am seeing on her scalp being cancer. My advise- stop looking at it! I can also say that had your MD suspected your mole to be melanoma, they would have rushed the biopsy results bc 1- melanoma is serious and 2- they will want to start treatments right away not 4 weeks later. I think I also read that they shaved the specimen- they do not typically shave suspected melanomas. They punch biopsy them to ensure clear margins. If your doctor did a shave- he isn't likely suspecting melanoma.
he did do a punch biopsy, I have a perfect circle on my leg…
I do have a 13 month old that is cruising all over the place, but also likes to be picked up quite a bit…
Also having to put him in and out of his car seat is quite awkward on my back. Hip pain? Not too sure… last week I had to walk 10 kms a day on average to get to and back from an event.. so could be that? Who knows…
This will absolutely do it especially if it's car seat that doesn't twizzle. Also, picking them up, especially if you have one like my granddaughter who is part eel lol.
My son's partner and I were having this conversation just last week and I said how awkward it used to be for me to get my son (youngest) in the car seat and how I had to virtually contort myself..
But anxiety alone can make muscles hurt and it's to do with the stress response and hyperstimulation..
Thanks Nora!
That is likely the cause, nothing else.
Rey
Hello,
10 weeks later and I got the biopsy results. Normal looking mole, no further treatment required.
Figured I'd give an update in case anyone finds this thread if they are going through something similar. Thank you to everyone who participated and helped me in any way, even showing some good ol tough love. (always appreciated).
Take care,
Rey
Glad to hear it! Thank you for updating.
FMP
Hi all,
One more update, drs office called again, confirmed it was no cancerous, but they would like to perform a wider excision. The receptionist reassured me that it is standard procedure with dysplastic moles and not to worry. However, after having closed this chapter yesterday, now I am forced to open it again...no cancer is good news, but being the anxious person I am this call has put my mind in overdrive again.
Will keep this thread updated with any new information.
Thanks,
Rey
I'm glad you've had positive news, and I hope you can let this anxiety / fear go. I've been there with skin cancer anxiety before, so I understand how bad that can really feel.
I've come to realize (heard / read) and even noticed in myself over the years that - as it's been pointed out earlier in this thread - changing moles are even normal most of the time. The main thing I've always seen to look for is rapid change / rapid growth. Other, subtler changes - maybe shrinking or growing over the years, or changing colors over a longer period of time - are to be expected. Especially for certain people.
I've personally had many moles change over the years, and as far as I know I don't have any skin cancer. I've had a mole develop a light halo, fade and then completely disappear. I've had moles sort of scab and then the scab goes away and the borders are slightly softer than before. I've had moles get larger. And so on. If that helps you at all.
Thank you for your input, Bin Tenn.
Tomorrow I have this procedure, even though they told me it was not cancer I am still worried that they may find something else this time around… everytime they take samples must go to pathology, so another 9 weeks to wait for results?
I’m trying to stay rational here, but not going to lie, I am very anxious about this.
Has anyone ever had a wide excision? What was it like?
thanks for reading!
Rey
I've had one for BCC - don't worry about that because in my case it was incredibly, staggeringly obvious. The procedure was nothing and actually pretty interesting. The initial local anaesthesia injections were a bit sore, but only a bit. After that you just lie back and it happens.
Hi all,
Just got back from the Drs. He confirmed that it was a moderately-severe dysplastic mole, and told me that during the punch biopsy he took it all, but that the pathology report recommended to get a wider cut just to make sure enough healthy skin was left around the site.
He confirmed again, not cancer, but close enough to that side of the spectrum to be extra cautious. I do fill a sense of relief, but at the same time, worried that something else could come up there? He reassured me that this should be the last thing needed for this incident, but I'm still in shock at how close it got to being melanoma.
I had him check my back, arms, and torso and said no other mole looks suspicious to him, but told me to keep an eye out for any changing moles, particularly if they darken, or change in size, etc.
Thank you all again, I hope this is it this time.
Rey
mrsgilby569
11-10-22, 09:01
Also you do grow moles and moles get bigger in pregnancy. I had loads come up and some grew bigger/darker hormones all over place - this is normal.
Hello all,
One final update regarding this thread. Results came back reg wide excision — all clear, just scar tissue, nothing else. Very relieved to be able to close this particular thread. Thanks to all who pitched in their 2 cents!
Rey
Pearly queen
22-03-23, 19:05
I know this is an old thread but I’m curious as to the size of your mole and if it was on the surface or under the skin. I am waiting to hear back from a dermatologist as to whether I need a dark spot investigated. My gp is baffled. Mine is black and tiny (a few millimetres) like a large blackhead and under the skin, right on a vein. It is definitely under the skin and is on the back of my hand. Gp sent photos to dermatologist to assess.
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