Why am I so afraid of my body?

[Lana]

By mere accident I felt on the left side on the top of my skull something like a little bump or a tiny dent. I have no idea if this has been there always, ( or for a long time), but I think there is no symmetrical thing on the other side. I am freaking out. It does not hurt or anything, it is hard to find, but now I know it is there and I keep on feeling for it and touching it. Is it worth going to the doctors? Please reply if you have similar things on your skull. Thank you.

[Lana]

Hey guys, please someone respond. Thank you

[Fishmanpa]

We're not made of porcelain :shrug:

FMP

[Lana]

Fishmanpa, thank you so much for responding.

So you think these are normal? Shall I just drop it? (If I can, of course). Do you have any on your head?

Thank you again

[Fishmanpa]

Fishmanpa, thank you so much for responding.

So you think these are normal? Shall I just drop it? (If I can, of course). Do you have any on your head?

Thank you again

As I said, we're not made of porcelain ;)

FMP

[pulisa]

Can you remember what made you want to start feeling your scalp because it's not normally something we do accidentally? Anything you read online? Any triggers or stress-related incidents?

Scalps aren't smooth and symmetrical..I've just had a feel of mine and it's certainly not dent-free!! I doubt whether you will be able to hold off going to see your doctor again but it's not something that I would give a second thought to but I'm sure this won't reassure you, Lana. I'm sorry you are very worried x

[Lana]

Fishmanpa & Pulisa, thank you both very much.

It has been an extremely stressful week, and I scared myself at least several times withing the last two weeks or so. Several horrible health scares, but for one I visited a doctor and that was done and over, some others I fought with myself, and somehow managed. And then this last night. I have no idea why I felt my scalp, but it is almost as if sometimes I am looking for something scary without being even aware of it.

I felt my other side, and now I think there is a very similar thing there, but smaller. So I guess, they are just not symmetrical, like anything else on the body.

Pulisa, you response actually helped a lot and thank you again.

[jessieblue]

My health anxiety is so bad now that am am barely able to function. I have suffered with it for 20 years or longer but since having campylobacter food poisoning last October my anxiety has taken me over. I also have emetophobia ..... fear of vomiting and I seem to also have a phobia of diarhea, or in fact, just going to the toilet. I am terrified of my bowels and my gut. I am sensitised to every gurgle or twinge and every day I am sure I am getting diarrhea again.

The campylobacter lasted for 6 weeks, it has left me traumatised actually and I am having trauma therepy and CBT, but my life is ruled by my poops at the moment. Sometimes I am constipated and I immediately think I have a bowel blockage from bowel cancer, then I will suddenly have loose poop and be terrified I am coming down with the bug, or any bug.

It is hard to explain really. The fear is there no matter what, every day all day. It is really hard to live with and I feel almost at the end of the road, as nothing seems to help me to put this behind me.

I am so terribly afraid of my body and I can see I have some sort of bowel obsession. I am also too afraid to have a colonoscopy because of the bowel prep.

Can anyone relate at all?

[NoraB]

Hi Jessie,

I had a case of the Deja vu's when I read this (thought I was having a brain blip) and that's because you recently posted a similar thread.. (bowel worries)

This is basically the same post with a different title. You had responses on the other thread so why the new one?

[Lana]

I can relate 100 %. being ruled by OCD and anxiety for close to 20 years. C Diff more than 6 years ago created a monstrous germaphob of me to boot. I also hate mirrors, and try to almost never use it because I am always afraid of what I may see ( some new spot, or a mole, or whatever...) Scared of going to the bathroom for years now.

So, I know, it is a horrible way to live one's life.

[jessieblue]

I am sorry, I did not even know my other post was almost the same. I am just in such panic and don't know what to do with myself. I get confused. This fear is overwhelming. Thanks for replying. xx

[NoraB]

I am sorry, I did not even know my other post was almost the same. I am just in such panic and don't know what to do with myself. I get confused. This fear is overwhelming. Thanks for replying. xx

I totally understand the bowel obsession. Been there, worn out the toilet. And bowel woes are a BIGGY with HAers (unsurprisingly as anxiety directly affects the digestive system)

I'm so sorry you're struggling. You're not on your own though. Maybe have a read of the excellent IBS threads on here?

P.S, you would be in IMMENSE pain with a bowel obstruction. You're clearly pooing, albeit loose. Just go with the flow (sorry) and adjust your diet to firm stools up and to soften them accordingly...

Drink lots of water. Try magnesium (I do because I get constipated) and try not to worry because it will affect the bowel...

[jessieblue]

Thank you Nora. xx

[Lana]

So days ago I felt like a tiny dent on top of my head, tried to to overcome it, could not, saw my doctor. Your skull is normal, he said. Felt OK for a few days, last night while watching a movie, started rubbing my forehead, now I think there are irregularities and small bumps/ a dent there too. I simply cannot take this anymore. These things on forehead are normal, right, everyone has them.

I am truly desperate, cannot take this anymore. Just cannot.:weep:

[BlueIris]

So, what's your next step?

[Lana]

I do not know. I am so sad and just crying. I just want this feeling to disappear.

Trying to find a different doctor to go to, because I am too embarrassed to go again to my doctor for this. Dear people, any kind piece of advice and comforting words are more than welcome. Please

[BlueIris]

I don't know whether this will be kind enough, but you need to learn to accept that bodies are weird, probably by engaging the services of a mental health professional.

[Lana]

I know , and thank you very much for trying to comfort me.

[pulisa]

I think the problem is that our attempts to reassure you don't work. You need to learn to reassure yourself but this will be of no comfort to you now.

You could go to a hundred doctors and get reassurance from all of them but it wouldn't be enough..Would it?

You will probably think I'm being mean and intolerant but I just want to help you get a grip on your HA and I think the only way now is via a therapist specialising in HA/OCD.

[Fishmanpa]

Dear people, any kind piece of advice and comforting words are more than welcome. Please

You've gotten advice and opinions and they turned out to be the case as confirmed by your doctor. The best advice would be to seek real life help for your mental health issues.

FMP

[Lana]

Guys, thank you all so very much. Prozac was prescribed three days ago ( when I saw my doctor), and I did not pick it up yet. I was over the years on Zoloft, Lexapro, and Clonozepam, and off of all for a couple of years. We wanted to try Prozac now because , apparently, it is one of the SSRIs which has been proven to be very good for OCD and Anxiety. Little scared to start because it apparently has many side effects but I hope it would start working soon. I am aware of my situation, but it is like a demon over which one simply has no control. It is like you have two minds: one is reason, and you are aware that there is a raging anxiety, and the other is demon possessed part of mind that makes you touch your forehead ( or whatever it is at any given moment), million times.

BTW, if anyone has anything to say about Prozac, I would appreciate. The doctor is starting me on the smallest dose. I read through the medication sub-forums, and some people like were helped by it, and some others could not stand the side effects.

Thank you all again

Lana

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.

It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.

[Brian_VA]

Nice to know I'm not the only one that tries to avoid mirrors. I shave my face in the least amount of light possible