View Full Version : Doctor with zero empathy :(
Why are doctors so dismissive of people with health anxiety?
Put up another post here on mon that I had to get bloods done and one of my liver tests can back slightly raised. Total panic mode set in!!
So I just spoke to gp and he totally dismissed me, made feel like a pest and waste of his time, started the conversation with 'I can't speak long I'm on call....' but bottom line is its a minor blip in my bloods and not to worry, had a wee list of questions to ask but he just spoke over me or went silent. So much for gp having empathy! I'm so upset.
It probably seems so irrational but when you have health anxiety the smallest thing can send you spiralling.
I miss my old GP he totally got it :(
I agree with this. I think doctors often have a line of reasoning that they follow in their head and yet don't explain out loud. I really wish they would walk through how they think.
Granted, it's not going to help HA sufferers 100% of the time because a doctor could say "99% of the time, this test result means nothing is wrong" and HA sufferers will automatically think, "Oh God I am the 1%, that's me finished then."
But for some of us, there's comfort in statistics (indeed, thinking about things probabilistically is a cornerstone of CBT, and avoids the pitfalls of the "positive thoughts to cancel negative thoughts" approach that can snare many people whose HA is more OCD driven.)
Anyway. Long winded way of saying, I am sorry you had this experience.
Thank you so much for replying kyllikki.
And yes, I'm in the group that like to think I'm in the majority! Tell me this is commonplace, we do it all the time, it happens a lot and it's nothing to worry about and I will be (kind of) fine!
But be rude and talk over me and not allay any of my worries and fears is just being plain cruel!
It's been a horrible day and he's really upset me!
In defence of your doctor sometimes giving the patient too much medical information can trigger further fears/what if's so if he keeps to the basic facts then you have less info to think about and can't spiral onto other "scenarios". Detailed medical explanations aren't always the best option with HA. I'm sorry he was short with you though..Not many GPs have a decent bedside manner now.
Thank you Pulisa :) and yes too much information can be a total trigger for panic too I agree!! But if he'd gave me the basics it would have kept me off the demon that is Google lol
I have never had that experience with and of my doctors before his bedside manner was the worst I've experienced 😂 I work in dentistry and we would never treat our anxious patients in that manner.
I'm just hoping my next bloods come back and my ALT levels have come down and I can draw a line under this!
Got an appointment with a wellbeing nurse next week I'm hoping that helps me and back on sertraline too.
Thank you for your replies ☺️
I remember sitting in the surgery crying my eyes out because of the constant pain I was in and how shit I felt. This was after seven years of constant (clear) tests and trips to the docs, hospital, and A&E. Anxiety. Anxiety Anxiety. That's all I heard. And yes, I had anxiety, for sure, but I always have had high anxiety and I was having symptoms which anxiety didn't explain. So this one day, I just sat there and broke down and the doctor told me to 'sort myself out as there were people out there with real health conditions'. My husband almost lamped him one. A year later I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia by a very kind and understanding Rheumatology consultant..
Some doctors are in the wrong job...
I remember sitting in the surgery crying my eyes out because of the constant pain I was in and how shit I felt. This was after seven years of constant (clear) tests and trips to the docs, hospital, and A&E. Anxiety. Anxiety Anxiety. That's all I heard. And yes, I had anxiety, for sure, but I always have had high anxiety and I was having symptoms which anxiety didn't explain. So this one day, I just sat there and broke down and the doctor told me to 'sort myself out as there were people out there with real health conditions'. My husband almost lamped him one. A year later I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia by a very kind and understanding Rheumatology consultant..
Some doctors are in the wrong job...
Oh goodness that really is shocking!! I'm sorry you had to go through that! Yes I agree some are definitely in the wrong job, you can be the cleverest, top of the class on paper but when you are there in front of a patient you need to have empathy and the ability to interact with all patients not just the ones you deem 'in more need'
And yes, I had to calm my husband down today too he was ready to go to the practice!! 😂 🙈 Imagine speaking to your gp for advice and then feeling a million times worse and spending the rest of the day crying - that's not right. 😢
Thank you Pulisa :) and yes too much information can be a total trigger for panic too I agree!! But if he'd gave me the basics it would have kept me off the demon that is Google lol
I have never had that experience with and of my doctors before his bedside manner was the worst I've experienced I work in dentistry and we would never treat our anxious patients in that manner.
I'm just hoping my next bloods come back and my ALT levels have come down and I can draw a line under this!
Got an appointment with a wellbeing nurse next week I'm hoping that helps me and back on sertraline too.
Thank you for your replies ☺️
Have you been asked to do a repeat blood test?
Yes Pulisa I'm back in 2 weeks, it was the receptionist who called tell me, it was only very slightly high, but still even hearing 'repeat bloods' sent me off on one! Panic, anxiety, crying, not being able to go to work. It is really awful I don't want to be like this anymore. I honestly thought a chat with gp today would make it all so clear and I suppose he did tell me in his own way I was worrying over nothing. He could just have been a lot nicer about it! Thankfully when I go back he is on holiday so I won't see or speak to him again!
Oh goodness that really is shocking!! I'm sorry you had to go through that! Yes I agree some are definitely in the wrong job, you can be the cleverest, top of the class on paper but when you are there in front of a patient you need to have empathy and the ability to interact with all patients not just the ones you deem 'in more need'
I agree..
I had this discussion with somebody who said, 'Who would you rather have, a doctor who will fix you or one who will speak nicely to you'. I answered that I would rather have both..
People are generally in need of a doctor when they don't feel well. Someone can be going through the worst time in their life and being 'fixed' physically is only part of it. Emotional care is equally as important but I have come across too many doctors and health care practitioners who must have been absent when it came time for the bedside manner module part of their training..:lac:
I have issues with verbal instruction (autistic) and during my last Dexa scan, the male radiologist (?) fired out several instructions at me and my brain went blank. He then manhandled my legs into position, and abruptly. That led to me having a meltdown at home.. (I've never forgotten it)
Goodness Nora sounds as if you've been through a lot with several different medical professionals I am so sorry to hear this!! That's not the way it should be!
I've woken up today still feeling anxious but also so angry too! I know in my heart of hearts if I had spoken to a gp yesterday who listened to me and explained things I would feel so much better. That's what my old gp did he was so lovely and understanding, after talking to him I always felt better. He has now retired (and probably glad he doesnt need to deal with me anymore lol)
I know in my heart of hearts if I had spoken to a gp yesterday who listened to me and explained things I would feel so much better. That's what my old gp did he was so lovely and understanding, after talking to him I always felt better.
He sounds like a lovely GP who cares about his patients...
He really was 😊
Keeping myself busy today, day off work so I am in the process of making a breaking bad theme cake for my sons 16th lol
Distraction is good and I need to keep telling myself the alt was only slightly high and I feel in good health apart from the usual evil anxiety symptoms!
WorryRaptor
30-06-22, 12:00
Ah the unicorn that is the informative and equally empathetic doctor! I've seen my fair share of GP's who have the bedside manner of a wall.
Liver levels can fluctuate a lot in perfectly healthy people, ranging from common viruses to medications they're taking. The numbers can be off for so many benign reasons that doctors don't tend to fret over them. Even people with liver issues can have fluctuations in their scores and have it turn out to be nothing indicative of further damage. My alt score was elevated once because I had a cold at the time of testing.
In a way, it's almost good that your GP seemed nonchalant about them. That tends to mean they see things like this all the time and it's never indicative of anything concerning. Ordering repeats is routine and doesn't mean they're worried.
I do wish more GP's had some extra training in empathetic language. My guess is that many of them burn out from seeing so many patients, most of whom will be feeling emotional when they come in.
WorryRaptor thank you for your message it honestly means so much when someone replies 😊
Yeah your right his attitude was very much you are worrying over nothing so I will take that in board for sure!
And to know that this liver thing happens a lot and is normally nothing serious is very reassuring 👌
Also you made me laugh out loud with 'bedside manner of a wall' comment!
Thank you for that!!
WorryRaptor
30-07-22, 16:26
WorryRaptor thank you for your message it honestly means so much when someone replies
Yeah your right his attitude was very much you are worrying over nothing so I will take that in board for sure!
And to know that this liver thing happens a lot and is normally nothing serious is very reassuring
Also you made me laugh out loud with 'bedside manner of a wall' comment!
Thank you for that!!
I've been on the liver rollercoaster before too, and one GP bluntly told me to stop drinking despite him knowing I'm 100% a non drinker due to alcohol causing horrific migraines for me. I was fuming with him. Turned out I'd developed a fatty liver from too much intense weight loss, then gain, then intense loss again. I did it all too quickly so my liver panicked and decided to pack some fatty snacks for a long winter. It took a specialist to sit down with me and just listen for all of two minutes to realise what had caused my issue!
I hope your repeat tests came back okay? And hopefully your doctor has learned how to be less of a ceiling support, and more of a human :D
It can be so difficult to find a doctor who is a good fit for someone with health anxiety. I finally have one and it’s wonderful. I live in the US and she just switched to a concierge service, which means I have to pay $1800/year to remain a patient (but guaranteed same day visits, fewer patients, more personal service, access to her cell 24/7 for emergencies, etc). I really couldn’t afford it, but I couldn’t imagine having to find another doctor. She doesn’t offer blind reassurance, but she’s kind and takes the time with talk things through with me. She also said that she probably treats mental health issues more than anything else - prescribing meds - so she’s well attuned to those issues.
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